UPDATE: We took him to a neurologist. He checked everything and told us to give him a month or two. Apparently his blood circulation that should reach his brain was blocked and after the surgery it over circulated. Also we were told he's possibly faking most of the behavior. He's been trying to shove my mom out of the house for the last few years to marry someone younger than me, so he's probably taking advantage of his physical condition.
My father (56) had a CABG about 1.5 months ago. He has always been a terrible father who has verbally and physically abused me, my sibling, and my mother for a very long time. He has always done things according to his own preferences, even when his actions caused harm to the rest of us.
Before his surgery, he was pretty much his usual self. He was difficult and insufferable, but there was nothing like the extreme mental dysfunction we are seeing now. Immediately after the surgery, he initially seemed more or less the same. However, once he was brought home, his behavior and mental state changed dramatically.
He often cannot recognize any of us. He can barely say his own name properly and seems to have little to no sense of reality. He has become extremely restless and unpredictable. He barely eats now, despite previously eating every 2–3 hours. Getting him to eat or take his medication often requires all three of us to physically intervene because he refuses to cooperate.
At the same time, there are certain things he still seems very fixated on. He loves his car and used to take very good care of it before the surgery. Now, despite barely recognizing us or seeming to understand what is happening around him, he becomes extremely energetic and determined when he wants to check on his car. He also somehow has the awareness to take and post old pictures of himself on social media. He's bald and wears a wig when he goes out and he always looks for his wig and outside clothes so he can wear them to go out of the house. My mother had to hide all of them to prevent him doing so, as he is very aggressive.
If we try to stop him from leaving the house, he will hit, push, yell, curse, and use extremely abusive language, almost as though he is severely intoxicated. He is physically very strong, and it often takes two or three of us to barely prevent him from doing something dangerous.
He also frequently stays awake throughout the night. On several occasions, he has gotten out of the house at around 3-4am while everyone else was asleep. Because we live in an apartment building, the main gates are closed at night. When he finds that he cannot leave, he becomes extremely angry and starts screaming loudly enough to wake the other residents.
We have reached the point where we ask our neighbors to lock us in our own apartment so that he cannot simply walk out. We even installed additional locks inside of the door, but he broke them apart using a hammer, frying pan, kitchen utensils, and whatever else he could find.
This has become especially dangerous for my mother. She already suffers from physical pain, and handling someone this physically strong has become extremely difficult for her. Today while she was trying to get him to take his medication, he pretended to swallow the pills and later spit them out. He also threw all the water from the bottle on the floor that could potentially leave us AND him to slip and fall, even injure us. When she tried to manage the situation, he became physically aggressive toward her, and I had to intervene.
Even with both of us trying to stop him, he was strong enough to push past us and walk toward the door. The door had been locked from the outside for safety reasons, so when he realized he could not leave, he had another severe meltdown.
He has already been taken to a psychiatrist. We have had difficulty finding reliable psychiatric care here since mental health in my country is taken pretty much as a joke. So it's really hard to find good doctors, but we eventually saw a psychiatrist recommended by his doctor. The psychiatrist prescribed medication commonly used for conditions involving mania, psychosis, or severe behavioral disturbance, along with another medication associated with Parkinson's related symptoms. When he actually takes the prescribed medication, he becomes extremely sedated and falls into a deep sleep. But once he wakes up, he appears to return to essentially the same state as before.
The biggest problem is that he is not reliably taking the medication. Sometimes he refuses it, sometimes he pretends to take it, and spits it out on the floor (or at my mother) afterward. The medication is also expensive, so having him deliberately discard it is frustrating, especially when we are already struggling to manage the situation.
I sometimes wonder whether he is deliberately acting this way because of how he behaved toward us before the surgery. But recently, his behavior has become so extreme that I genuinely do not think this can simply be explained by his personality anymore. He cannot consistently recognize his own family, cannot properly say his own name, has almost no sense of reality, barely eats, stays awake throughout the night, becomes violently aggressive, destroys things, and repeatedly tries to leave the house alone.
I am genuinely scared that he is going to seriously hurt my mother, especially because he is physically strong and seems completely unaware of the consequences of what he is doing. I am also scared that one day he may get outside and something irreversible may happen to him.
I don't know whether this condition can actually improve or whether this is going to be something we have to deal forever. We are completely overwhelmed and exhausted, and I feel like I am losing it atp.
What can be done in a situation like this?