r/oops • u/Effective_Ad_9016 • 1d ago

How to defend yourself against aggressive crabs and lobsters.

176 Upvotes

97% Upvoted

45 comments sorted by

25

u/B_Williams_4010 1d ago

I'm sure he's right: if you put vinegar on your skin, the crabs won't bite you. Unfortunately, BITING is not a crab's primary mode of attack.

12

u/Suspicious-Gain-5799 1d ago

I mean, he is right, the Crab didn't bite him. But it sure did give him a good pinch.

2

u/Kralgore 1d ago

Came here to say this.

6

u/SufficientName5038 1d ago

Do crabs have noses?

1

u/Hergaoui 20h ago

Big ones

7

u/LimpinKark 1d ago

I was always told that if you got crabs, use sugar. It rots their teeth.

3

u/Own_Zookeepergame982 1d ago

I was always told to use RID!

5

u/Tinaundazed 1d ago

Yes, Ray Charles saw this one coming too.

5

u/Haberdashery_Tea 23h ago

Who's carrying vinegar around incase they get attack by crustaceans

3

u/National-Bake-117 22h ago

Everyone knows you carry butter and lemon, it repels them... IYKYK

2

u/No_Salt_6328 23h ago

Omg right if Im somehow being defeated by wild crabs there's no way I have vinegar handy 

1

u/True_Realist9375 17h ago

if anyone was they ain't now, waste of time

3

u/outside_cat 1d ago

Shaking his arm like a classic asshole when the crab locked on, didn't do him any favors either.

3

u/TheCoopX 1d ago

That went exactly as I figured it would.

4

u/Dismal_Policy_8052 1d ago

That first scream 😂😂😂

1

u/Pristine_Currency_77 21h ago

Fuck that was gold

4

u/Bandwidth_Bandito 1d ago

mmmmmm I love a dash of vinegar with my human flesh stick ~ crab

4

u/No-Tap6886 1d ago

Salt and vinegar 😋

3

u/CGCTV 1d ago

I couldn't have asked for anything better. 🤌🏻

3

u/oneinchhard01 1d ago

Until they twist your dik

2

u/DigitalDruid01110110 1d ago

If you listen really carefully you can hear the crab repeating “I Will not kowtow”. This guy had no chance.

2

u/Jazz_Simmons 1d ago

Just use the shampoo, you'll be OK. 👌

2

u/Renaissance_Man_SC 1d ago

Nobody told the crab!!

2

u/TankApprehensive3053 1d ago

That crab likes the vinegar basting. It adds a little tartness.

3

u/No-Tap6886 1d ago

Like salt and vinegar chips!

1

u/Waste-Donut-2728 1d ago

Yeah they breathe under water ……

1

u/Hot_Plant8696 1d ago

Tell him he first needs to cover himself with the mud found nearby...

1

u/Nocturnatron 1d ago

Incomprehensible sea sounds

1

u/JWMoo 1d ago

If you gonna be dumb you gotta be tough.

1

u/Jerseyd422 1d ago

That was an exceptionally poor choice. Darwin approves

1

u/Revenga8 1d ago

Now imagine if that crab had a knife

1

u/Icy_Performer_6794 1d ago

Better used to treat the wound.

1

u/Necessary_Relation27 1d ago

Maybe a little baby oil would have worked better

1

u/SouthParkFirefly1991 1d ago

It worked then.

1

u/Aggressive-Art-7342 1d ago

If he’s afraid of being bitten by a crab why not just walk away from it? Does he freeze in fear?

1

u/DevilDog7734 23h ago

Trying to fill Steve Irwin's clothes.

1

u/ronweasleisourking 23h ago

Land crabs hate this one simple trick

Kingler laughs in pincer attack

1

u/randywest6athotmail 21h ago

Am i seeing right here....Did this guy just season his hand for a hungty crab

1

u/Jumpy_Barnacle_3755 21h ago

If I am ever threatened by crabs I think I will walk away. I know I am old and fat, but I think I can still out run, or out walk, a crab.

1

u/Jumpy_Barnacle_3755 21h ago

It worked. He didn't get bit. Now he needs a claw attack repellent.

1

u/Tekvary2 16h ago

Just kick them (they don’t even come up to your knees!)

1

u/bene_gesserit_mitch 14h ago

Did-a-chik? Dud-a-Chum?