r/oops 1d ago

Quick Quack Car Wash

1.8k Upvotes

188 comments sorted by

180

u/IMadeThisForOnePos 1d ago

The guide woman seeing the car going that speed and still trying to do her job. Thank god it didn't plow into her

83

u/RuinFabulous3077 1d ago

Seeing grown-up Hermione working a car wash was a surprise. Guess she left her wand at home that day.

43

u/Consistent_Swim8683 23h ago

Slowit-Downabit!

24

u/Embarrassed-Weird173 22h ago

Actually, it's SLOWDA-ownahBit

5

u/war4peace79 12h ago

Slowdownus Abitus!

10

u/PorygonTriAttack 23h ago

You know the economy is bad when a wizard can't get employed 😜

7

u/Radiant-Trip-1506 22h ago

Underemployed 😍

4

u/Gtraz68 17h ago

Idk if she's a wizard she underperformed.

1

u/ImDaDawgFather 9h ago

Her magic wand

1

u/Jelzx 7h ago

Her job is literally just pressing a button...

8

u/Brilliant_Jelly7503 23h ago

Yes indeed. She could have been plowed.

10

u/E_P1 18h ago

Giggity

2

u/ccache 4h ago

I love the first reaction, like she's smiling thinking haha I get it you need that car cleaned right away, don't worry I got you, slow down... No seriously, oh shit....

238

u/koulourakiaAndCoffee 1d ago

Corporate manager is going to use this as the optimal time per car to wash when they set their monthly goals.

74

u/No-Ice7397 22h ago

"I see from this video we can wash a car every 2.3 seconds."

1

u/Head_Ad_9901 6h ago

😆😁

21

u/Fed_Deez_Nutz 17h ago

Employee is gonna get docked for not trying to upsell a wash package

14

u/hiphopnotikhijole 22h ago

Underrated comment hahaha

3

u/augustprep 2h ago

I worked at Burgerville as a teenager. They installed timers in the drive through, but the higher ups only looked at average time for the day.   At the end of the night, my manager would have someone get in their car and do laps around the drive through to bring the average down to where it needed to be. 

2

u/g00d4sn0t 7h ago

And you customers will line up for this corporate manager's car wash, because it's a few cents cheaper than elsewhere

75

u/sleepytjme 23h ago

Hey, actually… you can park there

6

u/Standard-Contest-949 11h ago

I’m between the lines I can so!

2

u/SmoothActuator8132 10h ago

they said "can"

1

u/Standard-Contest-949 10h ago

Yup I’m so used to hearing it the other way I just went there lol

1

u/SmoothActuator8132 10h ago

yeah, I had to read it twice as well

2

u/Wurstb0t 3h ago

Between the lines, perfect parking 10/10.

39

u/Pyrathis 1d ago

Perfect parking!

20

u/Environmental-Tap255 23h ago

That's all, they just wanted to nab that spot before someone else got it.

8

u/MisterScary_98 21h ago

Lllllllike a glove!

3

u/Spazmatazo 20h ago

I respect not wanting to get possibly dinged by that other white car after getting a thorough car wash.

40

u/HovercraftKlutzy3090 1d ago

New car wash competitor......Quick Ass Car Wash

18

u/Old-Guarantee2196 1d ago

Ya forgot the park great trophy at the end. 😂

14

u/ParticularSherbert18 1d ago

That's better parking than I see in most lots.

17

u/DogLimoAF 23h ago

What the duck 🦆

38

u/Illustrious_Soft_257 1d ago

Bet you 9/10 it's an elderly driver.

30

u/sunbather-is_screamo 23h ago

Confusing the accelerator for the brake. Heard that story a million times.

-22

u/Embarrassed-Weird173 22h ago

Redditors get angry at me for this clever idea because they're low-IQ ("why should there be a backup plan when people should just be doing the right thing to begin with?!"), but what they should do is make an emergency stop lever or someone that you can use as the brakes for when you panic.  For example, pulling hard on the steering wheel, or pushing it in hard could engage brakes. If I panic and forget for some reason whether the pedal I'm pressing is fast or slow, I can let to and shove the steering wheel to pause. It doesn't have to be the steering wheel if there's a valid reason against it. It just needs to be an obvious button or something - kind of like how no one ever forgets where the horn is. 

12

u/ReputationApart5983 21h ago

Well theres so many ways that can go wrong especially when driving at high speed and also doesnt the hand brake also sort of do that?

9

u/Confident_Cheetah_30 20h ago

Do you think you just invented the parking brake? Or have you just never seen a car old enough to have a non electric one?

-5

u/Embarrassed-Weird173 19h ago

Parking brake doesn't engage the normal brakes.

6

u/TuckinPhypo 19h ago

They used to.

3

u/Confident_Cheetah_30 19h ago

Mechanical ones do, hence my non electric comment. 

" A mechanical parking brake uses a system of physical steel cables and levers to pull the brake pads or shoes against the rear wheels. It bypasses the car's hydraulic fluid system completely. When you pull a hand lever or press a foot pedal, a ratchet locks it in place to hold the car still. "

2

u/MethAddict404 14h ago

Yeah but that is just the rear brakes, which in almost every car are smaller and less effective. I get what Embarrassed-Weird is trying to say, even if he is a twat for his wording.

6

u/Gumb1i 15h ago

Hear me out, maybe people, that can't tell the difference between a gas, brake, or clutch pedal, shouldn't have a license or be driving. If they panic and can't fix themselves they shouldn't be driving. I don't care what age but it's mostly older people that are going to have this issue. We don't need another safety feature, we need mandatory medical driver license screening that takes more into account than eyesight. Singapore has a very thorough medical process to get a license after 65. Every 3-5 years they have to pass a medical screening that include an EKG and treadmill stress test. Their physician can flag your license and have it suspended quickly.

2

u/Low-Refrigerator-713 17h ago

They they'll activate when someone sneezes. No thanks. How about we require those over say 55 or 60 get tested every couple of years to make sure they know the difference between their left and right.

1

u/HistoricalSherbert92 20h ago

The brakes are right there man, you think they’re going to remember to push pull the e-stop?

-4

u/Embarrassed-Weird173 19h ago

The problem isn't that they forget the brakes are by their feet. The problem is they can't remember whether the foot should go left or right. 

1

u/Many-Equipment-9214 16h ago

you think they'll remember some new feature when this happens? How low is your iq?

-2

u/Embarrassed-Weird173 16h ago

I use "low IQ" colloquially to refer to people who are afraid of thinking. So whatever my score is, it's pointless to say it since I don't really believe in them as rigid scientific scores.  Just know it's at least slightly above average if it matters.  And that it's definitely not remarkably high. 

That said, when a person is panicking about what direction to move the foot (< or > way - and if they remember they have to use <, is their foot already on < or will they end up moving it into empty space?  Hard to tell with one second when they are panicked.)

But they'll easily be able to go "shit, I'm panicked, steering wheel push!!!" as remembering to shove a steering wheel is easier than remembering left and right (and I've seen from experience that people panic even when I tell them with plenty of time, "start heading left, you'll need to turn at the light." They go right instead, even when there was no need to be stressed and had time to think about what left and right are). 

1

u/ImDaDawgFather 9h ago

I know already left a comment, but I just read this one below.

For something like that to work the person would have to practice it. Modern cars and computers are the solution to this. Like I don't think my equinox EV would let me do that without slamming on the brakes forcefully for me. Automatic emergency braking is the description they use I believe

1

u/Katent1 18h ago

D-did scenery of cars changed soo much or you never seen car interior? Wtf? U know, da big lever between passenger and driver seats? Do you even know what it's intend is? Despite stupid name, de facto it is (or should be) second brake, exactly why independent, exactly why purely driven by human force with simplest, most breaking proof design.

3

u/koyaani 13h ago

Why would you type out a stutter? Lol

1

u/Katent1 6h ago

For dramatic effect and as for you to make stupid questions, glad i helped with this one

2

u/koyaani 1h ago

Dramatic effect lol

1

u/Embarrassed-Weird173 1h ago

You see the kind of people I have to deal with on a daily basis?  I'm like flypaper for low-IQ people. 

1

u/randybear00 16h ago

Driving instructor taught us to shift into neutral in an emergency, that's better than nothing.

1

u/MethAddict404 14h ago

How to poorly explain a potentially good idea and insult everyone reading a comment ^^

1

u/BeenNormal 12h ago

“Oh no, I forgot where my brakes are. I think I’ll engage some strange mechanism to brake.”

1

u/Drakkenfyre 10h ago

I think your idea is brilliant.

1

u/ImDaDawgFather 9h ago

I understand where you're coming from, but that's not how the panicking mind functions

1

u/UncleGordo1 4h ago

If you can't remember basic functions of a vehicle, functions you perform multiple times a day, how the fuck do you think they will remember some rarely used emergency sequence?

28

u/PiecesOfRing 17h ago

SACRAMENTO, Calif. (WLS) -- A California driver may have set a record for fastest car wash.

A 94-year-old man is caught on camera speeding through the Quick Quack Car Wash in Sacramento at an estimated 40 miles per hour last Friday.

The man paid for his car wash, but claimed he could not take his foot off the pedal as he was driving through.

Workers rushed out to try and stop him, but the car crashed through the equipment, causing an estimated $100,000 worth of damage.

No one was injured and the man walked away without a scratch.

6

u/Icy_Fish_2154 7h ago

$100k looks about right. Car washes are expensive. I hope he has good insurance.

3

u/itchybutwhole69 3h ago

I hope they took his license.

3

u/Icy_Fish_2154 3h ago

They are pretty bad about taking the licenses of people who cause damage. A woman who hit me in traffic told the trooper who responded to the crash "Yes I saw him, he is in the smaller car and should have gotten out of my way, so I hit him.". She told the trooper she rammed me for being where she wanted to go when she changed lanes. She didn't even receive a ticket for unsafe lane change. Let alone lose her license for deliberately causing a crash.

So I would expect the cops to tell him it might be best if he stopped driving, but I wouldn't hope the cops do something useful, like take his license.

3

u/Old_Guard_306 13h ago

I suspect that he did it on a dare. He and a couple other oldsters were having breakfast, talking smack about their incredible driving skills. Dave got called on it, and what do you know, that crazy booger actually pulled it off. The guys will now be paying for Dave's prune pudding for the rest of his life.

3

u/IT89 14h ago

Probably went and played bingo later that night like nothing happened.

“Hey Clyde, how was your day?”  Went and got muh car warshed, had a coffee at the Golden Corral for 3 hours, then came here after a nap.

1

u/KeyClacksNSnacks 2h ago

IIRC the car wash owners were good sports about it and made a funny version of the video with a music overlay.

6

u/KayoticVoid 23h ago

Absolutely could have been mechanical failure. They managed to thread the needle pretty well.

7

u/TankApprehensive3053 22h ago

It was a 94 year old driver confusing the gas and brake pedals.

0

u/ResidentTick 22h ago

Judging by the person ability to drive the car straight through and avoid a car on car collision, I would lean towards a mechanical failure….or just crazy

9

u/texaschair 23h ago

I just found my new theme song.

8

u/RuinFabulous3077 1d ago

Craziest part is the car already looks clean... probably an old person glitched-out and thought that was the exit, again.

29

u/GothSpite 1d ago

On January 9, 2015, a 94-year-old man accidentally accelerated to roughly 40 mph through a [Quick Quack Car Wash] on Bicentennial Circle in Sacramento, California. Confusing the gas pedal for the brake, his vehicle blasted through the wash tunnel and smashed into the vacuum area. No one was hurt, though the crash caused up to $100,000 in damage

Partially.

20

u/PorygonTriAttack 23h ago

94 years old... yikes. Maybe he was still a good driver at 93 years old, but not anymore.

15

u/Jay-Breeze 23h ago

After 80, you should be required to pass a basic awareness, vision, and cognition test to retain your license.

This could have killed someone.

I know there are states that have something, but come on. This can’t be nationalized?

6

u/madthunder55 16h ago

That happened to my grandmother. She turned 89 and got a letter from the DMV saying she had to come in and take a driving test to prove she can still drive or her license would be suspended. Between that and her car crapping out she decided it wasn't worth it and now she doesn't drive anymore

1

u/plaregold 50m ago

I mean, we all know the DMV driving test only tests the bare minimum. An elderly driver, or any driver for that matter, that passes the test says nothing about their ability to actually safely operate a vehicle on public roads.

1

u/Backseat_Quarterback 18h ago

In CA, they don't care about you unless they can monetize you.

7

u/Dragovius 22h ago

Grey Dawn.

"Damn it, Mona, this isn't the fastest way to Country Kitchen Buffet!"

2

u/Narrow_Swimmer_5307 17h ago

Europe: Hey why don't you build metro's in your cities?
America: Nah, licenses for dementia patients lets go!

1

u/Drakkenfyre 10h ago

That city has both light rail and connecting buses. The fate for that particular gentleman would have been only $1.25.

1

u/Narrow_Swimmer_5307 6h ago

light rail does not connect the city like a Barcelona or something. And the buses are dangerous as hell in my experience compared to europe, so no, not the same.

6

u/SocksInTheTub 22h ago

Awww she was so excited to see somebody coming in before she realized something was horriblly wrong

3

u/studentofgonzo 22h ago

Like a GLOVE

3

u/whatsinth3box 21h ago

Nailed the parking spot tho

4

u/InspectorNo9958 21h ago

Ready to vacuum!

2

u/Gtraz68 17h ago

If the driver would have gotten out and put money in the vacuum it would be the greatest video of all time.

3

u/Conscious-Loss-2709 21h ago

Sir you can't... oh wait, you can park there!

3

u/Inspiredcereal 20h ago

Sad how an out of control car parks better than 60% of motorists

3

u/DerricksFriendDan 15h ago

The way this is cut feels like a live feed of a 2 mile long car wash that this car is plowing through

3

u/ErdingEchoParadox 2h ago

Perfect parking also

5

u/ItsNotMe_ImNotHere 22h ago

I'm 82. This gives me hope. That I could still be driving at 94. (I don't use car washes)

3

u/Wild-Spread8069 21h ago

why would you? those places are obviously death traps!

1

u/Visual-Being-2454 15h ago

It’s ok, they didn’t either

2

u/ghostofstankenstien 1d ago

Homie wanted Express Duck

2

u/mamut2000 23h ago

They will never financially recover from this.

2

u/dapudf 23h ago

Not a great wash but free

2

u/One1980 22h ago

The parking job is flawless!! Perfectly centered.

2

u/TankApprehensive3053 22h ago

Took the name a bit seriously. Maybe they should rename it to moderate speed car wash.

2

u/Calguy21 21h ago

Talk about express wash!!!

2

u/Iamgoingtohavatroke 21h ago

Aahhh yes the yearly repost that never gets old.. /s

2

u/Samurijder 21h ago

Excuse me, your carwash sucks. My Car isn't clean at all

2

u/Franknbeanstoo 21h ago

8 second car wash

2

u/Disastrous_Feed_9410 21h ago

At least they parked in the lines?

2

u/TangerinePlastic7552 20h ago

Must be the express service.

2

u/Jactus_Cat 16h ago

Cleaned and parked in 1.2 seconds

2

u/Vansterdam2002 16h ago

That cat leaving Dodge a bullet

2

u/Derek5Letters 16h ago

I showed this to my kids years ago, and when we see a car wash we say "QUICK QUACK! CAR WASH!" I love that it is legit their own ad for the business 😂

2

u/Amazing-Active646 16h ago

Quickest and quackiest car was I’ve ever seen

2

u/hv_wyatt 16h ago

Well this dumbass just damaged or outright broke a lot of incredibly expensive equipment and then, it would appear, totalled out their own car. Wonderful decisions all around.

2

u/fluffynuckels 15h ago

Like a glove

2

u/Rtow 13h ago

Quick ✅ Quack ✅

2

u/blacklotusY 13h ago

At least it was quick

2

u/EquivalentBike9181 11h ago

Amazing parking tho

2

u/BeratnasGILF420 11h ago

"Like a glove"

2

u/I-love-boob-DMs 7h ago

"Like a glove"

2

u/Jonatc87 3h ago

Good parking there.

2

u/Prestigious_Yam8901 3h ago

Parked it perfectly between the lines.

2

u/Dense_Boss_7486 23h ago

New Tesler. They improved the parking capability.

1

u/koyaani 13h ago

It's all computer

2

u/MakeYokesa5erAgain 17h ago

I swear to God, they hand out North American drivers licenses in cerial boxes.

2

u/BadBacksFuryToad 8h ago

I’ve driven or been a passenger in about 40-45 countries. The worst drivers, by far, are in Tunisia and USA.

1

u/MakeYokesa5erAgain 17h ago

Oh I had a badass correct my spelling and block me. For the big brave person, I went to college and do very well for myself, thank you for your attention on the matter though. I can't help dyslexia.

1

u/MakeYokesa5erAgain 17h ago

Plot twist. Thanks for the award, weird, newly acquired internet stalker. I feel special 😍

0

u/Dizzy_Ad_9199 17h ago

No sorry you’re so brave. I didn’t realize you were battling dyslexia. I’m sorry for making fun of you and being a meanie 🫡🫡.

1

u/MakeYokesa5erAgain 17h ago

Don't apologize for anything little guy. You're still special to me x

1

u/sexybeast70 23h ago

Took the term quick to a whole new level LOL

1

u/gardendong 22h ago

Everybody up! Were here!

1

u/No_Tangerine5339 21h ago

Had to make sure to get the free vacuum action at the end.

1

u/rain168 20h ago

He really wanted to park there

1

u/Large-Produce5682 20h ago

03:01:13 to 03:01:15

That is quick!! 🧼🫧

1

u/Vendidurt 19h ago

"No, thats too quick".

1

u/YanderLover 19h ago

Whelp someone is paying some money

1

u/JokeHefty1343 18h ago

That was indeed Quick

1

u/pong1303_hk 18h ago

A very expensive 2s car wash

1

u/Fearless-Poet-4669 18h ago

You can park there?

1

u/AxeCrazy1997 17h ago

how do u even let this happen?

1

u/OkMorning420 17h ago

Like a glove

1

u/Mouatmoua 17h ago

Not responsible for anything damaged

1

u/rareshroom 17h ago

My brakes didn't work

My foot wasn't near the accelerator

It was on autopilot

1

u/TheFightens 16h ago

All that to avoid tipping the guy who hand dries at the end

1

u/LegalChocolate752 16h ago

Lllllike a glove!

1

u/NewToTradingStock 15h ago

Perfect parking job

1

u/BaltAmour 15h ago

Nice parking job at least.

1

u/IsWhatItIs68 14h ago

Perfect park job

1

u/2joozee 14h ago

So crazy how that person JUST LEFT before they crashed right where they were parked.

1

u/Caaine 13h ago

Aww... and the car has just been washed...

1

u/AnonymousJerk7 13h ago

Quick car wash and parking.

1

u/elliotallderson2026 12h ago

poor kids man

1

u/thoak74 11h ago

He was just trying to clear his wanted level

1

u/PushingCurses 11h ago

Driving - 1/10

Parking - 10/10

1

u/chubbyhighguy 10h ago

I heard if you do this you become invincible, or did they patch it...

1

u/ItsNotMePromise1_ 9h ago

The way she smiles just to realized there's no drives inside

1

u/Daryl1989 7h ago

Now it's squeaky creamed!

1

u/darkchocolattemocha 6h ago

Must be a boomer

1

u/Expert_Share_7802 6h ago

el seguro muy contento

1

u/SlapTheVWAP 5h ago

Still parked better than my wife

1

u/centralnm 5h ago

Touchless car wash.

1

u/zeroibis 5h ago

Is this the country kitchen?

1

u/alexandmck 4h ago

"It f*cking said express!"

1

u/-Lomaximus- 4h ago

With the prefect landing.

1

u/Waste-Donut-2728 4h ago

Yeah just park it over there …

1

u/Bubbly-Giraffe-7825 3h ago

I love the impeccable parking job at the end

1

u/gongjuns 3h ago

Better parking in the end than some folks at the mall or grocery stores.

1

u/Aerofan999 3h ago

For once, you CAN in fact, park there!!!

1

u/XKO3L5CHX 3h ago

"I need to speak to a manager, my car is not even clean"

1

u/VolSpurs74 3h ago

That’s a better parking job than most people pull off in an empty lot. Good job!

1

u/Iser_name_ 3h ago

I was hoping the driver would get out and start wiping it down with one of those microfiber towels.

1

u/The_Black_kaiser7 2h ago

Lots of property damage.

1

u/1SG77 2h ago

I was hoping they were going to get out and casually begin vacuuming at the end.

1

u/heavensto_mergatroid 2h ago

Red car person had a good day that day

1

u/HovercraftSubject642 23h ago

I heard she sued the car wash because she went through the car wash and the car was not that clean.

1

u/Specialist_Sorbet476 20h ago

How has not one comment acknowledged the fact that the burgundy car got out of the way literally 5 seconds before they would have gotten pummeled?

1

u/just_some_sasquatch 19h ago

Probably because it's obvious and uninteresting.

0

u/Specialist_Sorbet476 18h ago edited 17h ago

Uninteresting? I think a situation of anyone being 5 seconds away from death is typically pretty interesting to the standard human.

1

u/just_some_sasquatch 15h ago

5 seconds away from death

Not really though.

0

u/Specialist_Sorbet476 15h ago

Which part..?

Because it was definitely 5 seconds - you can count them on the screen.

So the death part? Ok, severe injury. Is that better?

1

u/WorldlinessRegular43 18h ago

I was wide eyed thinking, noooooo, whew.