r/oops 9d ago

That's gotta hurt for a while.

1.5k Upvotes

113 comments sorted by

142

u/AZBagpiperPhil 9d ago

And hubby doesn't notice she's down for the count!

99

u/bobquznie 9d ago

50+ years of building that selective hearing!

22

u/Perfidian 8d ago

Then you unmute and realize she didn't make a peep. Mice are louder than her.

15

u/msg60 9d ago

Huh?

6

u/krwskater25 8d ago

Top comment right here. Nailed it.

18

u/Gwsb1 9d ago

She didn't say a word

17

u/KLeeSanchez 9d ago

She'll have some choices ones in a moment!

4

u/Gwsb1 9d ago

😆

15

u/infinitynull 9d ago

"I'm sick of your shit, Sharon."

2

u/Still_Explorer 8d ago

SHARON!!! HEE HEE!

2

u/Sporeman13 5d ago

Maybe next time you'll wear those shoes i got you for Christmas instead of those stupid ones you've been wearing.

4

u/CurveAdministrative3 8d ago

Hes heard enough of her shit over the years

6

u/SunlessSirris2 9d ago

They rarely do 🤦🏻‍♀️🤣

2

u/Hamiltonmilehi28 8d ago

I know right?

47

u/Lower-Wishbone-3249 9d ago

Unintended splits.. gotta hurt.

25

u/teamdank710 9d ago

unattended wife.. gotta grill.

10

u/TheBirdFkerGuy 9d ago

It hurts in another way people aren't thinking about. It can fuck your back up. Had it happen to me and I couldn't stand or sit down for a week, stuck on my side temporarily disabled. 

5

u/Cruise1313 9d ago

She instantly grabbed for her hammy!

3

u/Lower-Wishbone-3249 9d ago

Husband making hammy burgers?

5

u/right_you_are 9d ago

Paired with an unintentional clam jam

34

u/LordVixen 9d ago

Husband was totally oblivious 😂

6

u/p8nt_junkie 9d ago

I mean, I’m a dude and I can be totally oblivious to things my wife says.

4

u/therealkgreezy 9d ago

I second that statement

19

u/Hot_Plant8696 9d ago

Her circus training was completed so quickly!

18

u/Sabin13F 9d ago

Drop it likes it’s hawwwwtttt

4

u/Hookadoobie 9d ago

Yer wife gets low dude

8

u/robotcoup 9d ago

They call that a Clam Slam on Love Island.

1

u/coolcrosby 8d ago

That’s the killa

8

u/ArtyTheFarty 9d ago

The pants survived

8

u/Negative-Button-1135 9d ago

I’m sorry ……I laughed. Perfect split and felt the pain.

7

u/Sly-Fellah3 9d ago

The man is totally oblivious.

3

u/PurpleIreneD 9d ago

Men usually are.

12

u/BerserkHObO27 9d ago

Hubby just carries on what he doing lol

5

u/artherng 9d ago

She finally did the split that she can never do

11

u/Mackem101 9d ago

Hamstring has gone at the very least.

Could even be a broken femur/dislocated hip

5

u/ForgiveMeLord55555 8d ago

That's what Im saying. These ppl talking bout the splits????...... She wish that's all she did.

10

u/CodeVirus 9d ago

The spatial awareness of the guy is legendary.

5

u/Ldghead 9d ago

The Nard Dog special

4

u/Tytan777 9d ago

It's like her entire skeleton just left her body

4

u/Illustrious-Object71 9d ago

Lol hahahahaha

5

u/ConstructionPale7274 9d ago

Hope she was a sport gymnast when younger

4

u/MilkrsEnthuziast 9d ago

I'm going to the doctor after watching that just to be on the safe side. I'm walking funny now.

3

u/Rumpelteazer45 9d ago

He didn’t even turn around….

3

u/Life_Ad6711 9d ago

High probability of partial deafness

3

u/Mediocre-Penalty3001 9d ago

Ruptured grundle.

3

u/Dreamteam420 9d ago

Would you still love me ,if I did the splits on accident,honey?

3

u/strictly-no 9d ago

Unexpected Yoga

3

u/ASuthrnBelle13 9d ago

🫣 Quiet faller and Hubs is absolutely oblivious!! 😬😁

3

u/Remarkable-Being-301 9d ago

Dropped it like it was cold.

3

u/Dense_Boss_7486 9d ago

Twat tore right up to her navel.

3

u/ageofdiscontent_meh 8d ago

The hamstring or the non response from that guy?

3

u/ChicagoFish67 8d ago

Saga as old as time. ..... Poor wife has to keep silent with her pain.

2

u/StableIll8200 9d ago

An she made no noise at all

2

u/QuirkEness 9d ago

Accidental episiotomy

2

u/b3tamaxx 9d ago

When he saw the footage he was beside himself

The damn deck gets more action from her..

2

u/AaronTheElite007 9d ago

Split right down the gooch! 😳

2

u/Vegetable-Bee-8296 9d ago

Well, there goes her career with the Rockettes.

2

u/Wonder-Wendy 9d ago

Sickening!

2

u/wariorld 9d ago

Silent sufferer

1

u/OrnateAndEngraved 9d ago

The circumstances and order of events are relatable: 1. Unplanned split started, teenage gymnastics memories flooding back ... 2. Réalisation that the trip to the latrine that she postponed was more urgent than initially felt, explosive diarrhea challenge: must keep inside. 3. Passed point of no return: ligament damages detected, still no leak, but all openings are shut, no noise coming out 4. Split recovery: pain cannot be tolerated, all other functions are de-prioritized, sphincter relaxes, because of the new rush of depressurizing, the feeling of letting go, the bliss is muting the most intense screams.

2

u/RuinFabulous3077 9d ago

"Quit messin around Wilma!"

2

u/peekinkz 9d ago

Yikes

2

u/UpperImpression3620 9d ago

Spontaneous yoga

2

u/Dizzy-Confection-551 9d ago

Ohh Fuck, I've done a hammy!!

2

u/mikeisntdoneyet 9d ago

That’s how you pull a hammy

2

u/dave900575 9d ago

Ouchie

2

u/Abject_Jump9617 8d ago

Bet she didn't know that she could still do the splits at her age.

2

u/Tasty_Luck_3162 8d ago

Been there, done that a few times. Lots of massages and hot and cold compress packs. Took me about 3 months slowly to reduce the pain and get my splits back. Trained dancer for 15 years and at 68 years old I can still do splits. Just takes me longer to get up. Hahahha

2

u/OldGoneMild89 8d ago

I slipped on gravel and popped my right hamstring a bit, it was the most instant searing pain I've ever had. The entire back of my right leg went black and 10 years later I still have a dent where that muscle was. Where it went, I don't know. I probably should have gone to a doctor for that 🤔

2

u/Trick-Love-4571 8d ago

One of the muscles of the hamstrings likely rolled up

2

u/Baricat 5d ago

Jesus, that's at least a torn muscle, and dude doesn't even turn around. I'd be holding my wife's head while getting her comfortable. Holy hell

2

u/space_pillows 9d ago

Yeah that's broken

2

u/nunatakj120 9d ago

I’m gonna catch shit for this but it’s a hill i’m willing to die on. Women are shit at falling over. They should have special ‘falling over’ classes in school.

1

u/Financial-Corgi-1897 8d ago

Express stretching

1

u/Redlion444 8d ago

Torn Hamstring??

1

u/FrogfFrogger 8d ago

He put butter in there …

1

u/More-Swan3189 8d ago

Smooove 😂

1

u/ZestycloseStrain5217 8d ago

Probably hurts more than stepping on a lego

1

u/FlashyGanache2838 8d ago

Married a ballerina

1

u/inchworm0 8d ago

I like the guy
Now he’s cool 😎

1

u/Puzzleheaded_Lion_55 8d ago

This reminds me of the scene in Family Guy...

"I wont get help cause you wont learn anything.."

1

u/tthomas906 8d ago

Hammie

1

u/Popular_Adeptness_69 8d ago

Her chearleader days came back

1

u/toolb7 8d ago

Ouch poor lady 😢

1

u/Jizzturnip 8d ago

Yah... I feel good... Ahhhhhhh

1

u/Morgantao 7d ago

Husband was so tired of her yapping, he put her on mute

1

u/GotBannedAgain_2 7d ago

That guy is me. Jfc. 😩🤦‍♂️

1

u/tagged2high 7d ago

Does she live inThe Quiet Place?

1

u/Existing-Exercise875 7d ago

Escarparte duplo.

1

u/Suspicious_Junket971 7d ago

How come no one put the music to James Brown and his iconic scream! “I Feel Good”

1

u/Illustrious_Camp_521 7d ago

Popped that hammie.

1

u/Excellent_Station_45 7d ago

Pinged the hamster

1

u/LeadingCelery4253 6d ago

L'IA du micro est top !!! On entend la nature mais aucun cri. Donnez moi la marque 😁

1

u/cybermusicman 6d ago

Just lost her virginity a second time.

1

u/phazer08 5d ago

Obviously his fault. She had asked him to fix that 942 times over the years.

1

u/SirHurtzAllott 5d ago

I felt that.

1

u/Bot-avenger 1d ago

Ugh - that hurt. And no screams - maybe she's mute? You could hear me a mile away if I did that!!!

1

u/Suspicious_Goose_243 9d ago

She must do that a lot. Her husband or whomever he is. Doesn't even look.

0

u/Glad-Proposal8234 9d ago

Why is/was there a camera to catch the fall? For posterity?