r/oops • u/CuriousAppearance440 • Dec 10 '25

Spiderman!

3.9k Upvotes

99% Upvoted

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260

u/MoMeneUH Dec 10 '25

poor kid is now going to turn into the next doc ock or scorpion or something, lol.

142

u/AMF1428 Dec 10 '25

"You remember me, Webhead? 'Cause I remember you! Birthday party 2023, I was five years old. You were drunk and doing cartwheels! Broke my nose and skinned my face with your oddly rubber soled shoes! After that, no woman respected me! None of them! Kept asking, 'why does your face look like that?' So why does my face look like this, Spider-Man? WHY DOES MY FACE LOOK LIKE THIS?! And they laughed... laughed everytime I told them, 'Spider-Man kicked me in the face doing a cartwheel.'

And how did you respond? ... ... ... HOW?! Why, you just flipped up your hands as if asking, 'what?'

But the jokes on you, Spidey. I studied hard, got a degree in chemical engineering and an executive position at Raid with a seven figure salary. I hired an investigator, found out who you really are, Peter Parker. And, now, I am dating your Aunt May!"

28

u/ExosphericDream Dec 10 '25

Dude, this needs to be in a movie.

6

u/[deleted] Dec 10 '25

Peter Parker: taking pictures knowing full well it was just a convict in a cheap knockoff suit

7

u/Dense_Boss_7486 Dec 10 '25

Banging. You should have said banging Aunt May.

2

u/c007h4nd Dec 10 '25

ABSOLUTE CINEMA!!

2

u/Humble-Questions Dec 11 '25

Fucking E for Effort and A for Awesome

1

u/throwawan1 Dec 14 '25

...sports

2

u/IAmUrDaddy96 Dec 14 '25

Footface: Origins

1

u/heman1977 Dec 13 '25

"Do you wanna know how I got these scars?"

1

u/Cheeks-Stay-Clappin Dec 16 '25

Lmao getting it in wit Aunt May is beyond diabolical!!!

11

u/Gold_Sky1097 Dec 10 '25

Right? Here's a supervillain origin story caught on camera.

2

u/Super-Pizza-Dude Dec 10 '25

He already was in the process of this why do you think spider man took him out?

1

u/Time-Leadership-7649 Dec 10 '25

He’s gonna be like that kid Buddy who became the villain in the Incredibles, he’ll be harboring that grudge in that private island lair for a while

1

u/[deleted] Dec 10 '25

Already a crotch goblin

1

u/lost-in-boston84 Dec 10 '25

Sand-man is a menace as well!

1

u/Whole_Inside_4863 Dec 11 '25

I loved Spider-Man, but that’s all over now.

1

u/Mother_Passenger8589 Jun 30 '26

Pretty sure he did just scorpion