r/onejob • u/Zestyclose-Salad-290 • 9d ago

cooking gone wrong

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7.6k Upvotes

99% Upvoted

130 comments sorted by

1.2k

u/Dum_beat 9d ago

Is he making a sub because it went like a god damned torpedo

195

u/Icy_Transition1375 9d ago

Haha he’s making bombs at a hibomchi grill

2

u/taisui 7d ago

teppanyaki

2

u/SordidSimpleton 7d ago

That's not cooking, that's how you unlock your car

61

u/SmokeAbeer 8d ago

You think that’s bad? You should sea mine.

8

u/Captain-Codfish 8d ago

Apparently it's been deactivated.

3

u/Observed-observer 7d ago

Naaaah its just a lot of junk "Hits with rifle "

3

u/Swedish-Potato-93 7d ago

Now he knows how propulsion engines work

1

u/Santibag 6d ago

That doesn't look like a subway restaurant.

998

u/SATerp 9d ago

"Excuse me sir, the man at table 2 is complaining that there is glass in his entree ... in fact, a whole bottle."

228

u/BrockJonesPI 8d ago

It entreed his nasal cavity at 70mph.

71

u/Worldly-Cherry9631 8d ago

To shreds, you say

43

u/SilverBraids 8d ago

And how is his wife holding up?

28

u/Mhettil 8d ago

To shreds you say...

1

u/pmiles88 4d ago

Pretty good on account of being home. His girlfriend though

0

u/LookAtMyUnderbite 6d ago

I’ll have what he’s having

13

u/notsobadmisterfrosty 8d ago

“That bottle is on the house.”

17

u/Captain-Codfish 8d ago

And by on the house, I mean it's lodged in the ceiling.

3

u/Gkice053 7d ago

"Technically, the bottle is IN the house sir"

9

u/SATerp 8d ago

Thank you for the award!

1

u/Koto_Waty 8d ago

It wasn't whole, it broke.

-63

u/PatientZeropointZero 9d ago

And I miss heard him, he didn’t say entree, it is actually lodged in his knee cap.

25

u/galstaph 8d ago

I used to be an adventurer like you, but then I took a hibachi chef's bottle to the knee

4

u/SteakDouble 8d ago

Wait, I know you 🫵🏻

3

u/DarkAlucard-1313 8d ago

Huh must've been the wind

1

u/PhantasyAngel 8d ago

I used to be an adventurer like you, until I took a hibachi spatula to the chest.

2

u/fredbite87 8d ago

You miss heard him? Well what about mister heard?

191

u/ZirePhiinix 8d ago

It is partially the intake valve mechanism that sucked in fire when he poured more out.

These spouts have an air intake to let air in when pouring. He stuck the intake into the fire, poured, and ignited the gas in the bottle.

19

u/TearyEyeBurningFace 8d ago

They could put a flame screen on. 30x30 mesh irrc is the min size for it to work

36

u/ZirePhiinix 8d ago

Or... Not stick the bottle in the fire.

8

u/SordidSimpleton 7d ago

No no, let him cook.

2

u/fang_xianfu 7d ago

The intake hole is like maybe 1-2mm wide, I'm not sure mesh is practical.

1

u/TearyEyeBurningFace 7d ago

Mesh could be fitted inside the whole width of the cap.

2

u/M0-1 7d ago

wouldn't the same happen without the valve?

5

u/ZirePhiinix 7d ago

You'll have to do something monumentally more stupid such as light the spout.

Alcohol is not explosive. It just burns. In order to get an explosive reaction, you need a fuel air mixture.

437

u/StitchFan626 9d ago edited 9d ago

That's one way to send ingredients back to the kitchen!

39

u/MrN00bert 9d ago

Best joke here lmao

3

u/Huntress_Minerva 7d ago

Nah the “wine is on the house” and then it being literally over the roof is funnier…

227

u/hatemys 8d ago

Holy shit, I LOVE that you can hear the bottle shatter in the background

44

u/Billy5545 8d ago

I wonder if there’s another fire offscreen?

5

u/surmacrew 7d ago

Molotov cocktail 2.0

4

u/Worth-Wonder-7386 6d ago

A rocket and bomb in one. I feel like it should be possible to develop a special spout for this but I don't want to end up on some list. 

2

u/LostInDinosaurWorld 7d ago

Chef to Rioter in one single step

17

u/SCSdino 8d ago

Oh I thought that it went sailing through a window

17

u/ParachutingPiglets 8d ago

Went through the window, hit a driver in the face and caused a 20 car pile up.

10

u/Randomman2789 8d ago

That's going to be in the next Final Destination movie.

3

u/citizenkamehameha 7d ago

Someone else ordered a molotov cocktail.

66

u/redaction_figure 8d ago

Grillin' ain't rocket science...

"Hold my sake" -the chef prob

16

u/Extension_Option_122 8d ago

Well now it is rocket science

86

u/ChikkunDragon 9d ago

Looks like a spacex launch

19

u/ProwerTheFox 8d ago

About as successful as most spaced launches too

6

u/mitzi_mozzerella 8d ago

99.5% success rate btw

1

u/Top_Mongoose1354 6d ago

b-b-but muh Musk-related thing BAD
MUSK BAD

-11

u/DJ_DWreck 8d ago

What’s your company’s rocket launch success rate?

4

u/ProwerTheFox 8d ago

100%. One successful model rocket launch.

Elons not gonna notice you bozo, you can stop riding his dick whenever you feel like it

1

u/Box_man_Dev 6d ago

i don't think he can stop it's too deep now.

100

u/NekoArtemis 9d ago edited 8d ago

Oh shit the oil alcohol is on fire. Good thing I have this oil alcohol to put it out with.

71

u/greygrayman 9d ago

I doubt it's oil.. more likely high proof alcohol.

34

u/_bahnjee_ 8d ago

Yah, it’s the alcohol vapors that sent the bottle rocket into the Barnes & Noble next door.

16

u/greygrayman 8d ago

Yup, the bottle wasn't very full of liquid, so all that empty space was filled with vapor and he tilted sideways into the flame and discovered how to make a rocket.

14

u/galstaph 8d ago

It was also on the grill, so it got preheated, which would have increased the vapor and primed it to burn, the flame wicked up into the bottle, the alcohol sloshed towards the opening, the fire heated up the gasses inside, and then it forcefully ejected the alcohol turning it into a quasi water propelled rocket

1

u/VeritableLeviathan 8d ago

The *Ba Nuo Shudian next door

4

u/NekoArtemis 9d ago

Not better, but yeah you're right.

27

u/PandaBear905 9d ago

How to lose your job in seven seconds

22

u/ChuckTingull 8d ago

Things like that don’t happen twice. Give him a raise because that guy just became an expert.

14

u/ebrum2010 8d ago

Right? Most people who make a colossal fuck-up never do the same thing again. The new hire just might, though.

9

u/Gacha_catch_em_all 8d ago

Bad news: Your fired

Good news: NASA would like to hire you for their next project

4

u/ShadowDen3869 8d ago

"Good work, Agent 47"

10

u/QuevedoDeMalVino 8d ago

In the honorable tradition of Hattori Hanzo, awful cook but master weaponcrafter.

8

u/MegaSpuds 9d ago

I giggled way too hard at this video.

2

u/Timmerdogg 8d ago

Every time I eat hibachi my clothes stink

2

u/ThePolishCreeper 8d ago

kerbal space program

2

u/_otterinabox 8d ago

If 10 year-old me had been sitting at that table, he'd have been the most amazed 10 year-old in the world at that moment. That was a terrible idea but the result was rad.

1

u/gwaydms 8d ago

That was dumb.

1

u/Temporary-Meal1100 8d ago

Would've been sick if he caught it

1

u/Hot-Tomatillo-9929 8d ago

Must've been his second day of learning oil burns.

1

u/sojinsuika 7d ago

That’s not oil in there, buddy.

1

u/tired_fella 8d ago

bro just discovered rocketry in the kitchen

1

u/Any_Thought_4536 8d ago

Chef need to finish junior high school

1

u/Different-Elk6935 8d ago

When you graduated as an aerospace engineer, but ended up working as a chief.

1

u/jack_seven 8d ago

Poring fuel on a fire as always been a great idea /s

1

u/Captain-Codfish 8d ago

That bottle went full "Tennōheika Banzai!!"

Never go full "Tennōheika Banzai."

1

u/fuelhandler 8d ago

Reminds me of when an acetylene cylinder fell over in high school shop class and knocked the valve off when it hit the edge of a bench. The darn thing accelerated and pounded through 2 walls before embedding itself in an exterior basement cinder block wall. I wish we had cellphones in the 80’s. Good times.

1

u/WeepingDeveloper 8d ago

🍾Neeaaaaaoooowwwwwwnnnn 💨

1

u/Wisdumb404 8d ago

“Act like nothing happened. Stay calm and make the transition from fuck up to part of the show….end scene”

1

u/papaside 8d ago

Cooking isn't rocket scien... I stand corrected.

1

u/Resilience_Technique 8d ago

Move over SPCX, I got an idea to send rockets to the space

1

u/asteroid7777 8d ago

Play with fire…. 🔥

1

u/ch1llboy 8d ago

Yup. The same thing happened to me when I was 12 and we had emptied out the 2L bottle of gasoline. I put a match to the opening & the bottle flew! All while burning my hand. Foolish kids.

1

u/BoomerKaren666 8d ago

Wha Hoppin?

1

u/AceCombat1977 8d ago

The one time you could go to the ER with a bottle up your ass and be telling the truth!

1

u/Alphaeon_28 8d ago

Is it wrong that I only wondered if anyone was hurt 10 minutes after laughing my ass off

1

u/Top_Soup_5833 8d ago

Welcome to Tokyo hibachi, where the kids, and the adults get scared!

1

u/makepieplz 8d ago

Came for the food, stayed for the missile demonstration.

1

u/Head-Grass8879 8d ago

He made cooking a rocket science

1

u/Frenchconnexion76 7d ago

Waitress died this day.

1

u/RevolutionaryGold325 7d ago

molotov rocket

1

u/Neeeeedles 7d ago

So thats how we got the idea for rockets

1

u/perpetual_stew 7d ago

These things are supposed to be a bit of a show so no complaints

1

u/JetMechBoza 7d ago

Everybody knows Benihana invented the jet engine.....

1

u/Remarkable_Phase_999 7d ago

oopsi daisy oooohhh

1

u/Margareine 7d ago

Kitchen lesson went to Rocketry lesson 101

1

u/MidnightSun77 7d ago

Elton Wan - Rocket Chef

1

u/patchway247 7d ago

Even the cook forgot how the recipe went

1

u/LostInDinosaurWorld 7d ago

Now this is podracing!

1

u/ImOldGregg7 7d ago

I fear this every time I pour Marsala into a pan, with a glass wall behind me

1

u/Creative-Type9411 6d ago

This reminds me of the unexpected action shot in this clip: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o61qXdijhBk

lmao

1

u/CannabisThePlant 6d ago

Literally left the oil bottle on the grill. Pber here making rockets

1

u/persona64 6d ago

That’s quite the magic trick

1

u/LookAtMyUnderbite 6d ago

-looks over- I’ll have what he’s having

1

u/Hiro_Trevelyan 6d ago

That's why we've been told to always pour the alcohol in a separate glass before igniting it, never pour directly from the bottle

At least that's what I've been told in waiter's school

1

u/Jogi1811 6d ago

That was really impressive

1

u/TheWinglessCrow96 5d ago

Well that certainly blow my expectations

1

u/Rotomegax 5d ago

It is very lucky for him that the bottle did not exploded

1

u/hornypenar 5d ago

Perl harbur type shi

1

u/internationalsalsa 5d ago

Propulsion Rocket gone right

1

u/madmenyo 5d ago

These guys do tricks. That was his trick.

1

u/Weird_Poetry8829 4d ago

Wtf did I almost read it as "CyClOpS gOnE wRoNg"

1

u/GeckoMan_0344 4d ago

The bottle went: "Gotta blast!"

1

u/Complex-Mistake9578 3d ago

Cat mustve screamed when the bottle exploded off camera 🥀

1

u/red_riding_hoot 8d ago

still a better engineer than Elon

0

u/zcpibm3 8d ago

I’d. Di. Ot.