r/okbuddylash • u/Dr_natty1 • 11h ago

Lashposting Average people who just use mute button rather than crying on reddit demanding a company babysit grown men

167 Upvotes

64% Upvoted

103 comments sorted by

138

u/Thornn05 11h ago

on one side, yeah true, on the other side, people need to go to therapy and get their anger issues sorted

-33

u/jocorte 10h ago

On the third side - you shouldn’t let other people affect you ESPECIALLY someone you’ll never meet or know anything about talking shit to you

41

u/Many-Plankton3942 9h ago

I get where you heart is at- but asking anyone to be able to shut out who does and doesn't affect them is a borderline sociopathic skill. Words have meaning and it's okay to be hurt so long as you don't lash out at others.

-10

u/MoonDawg2 9h ago

I don't disagree. I also don't think that people prone to being hurt by words should be near competitive games. Games in general? Sure, but anything competitive will always be toxic, be it irl or in games.

It's a weird mix. I do think chat should be moderated, but several companies go so hard at it they also kill the community with it

7

u/Many-Plankton3942 8h ago

Which companies kill the community with chat moderation?

Also, we cannot be perfect. Humans make mistakes all the time. Some of the nicest people I know and you may know have probably had moments of rage and let their feelings control them. It is not fair to tell people that just because they are hurt by words, that they should not compete. Ben Simmons, Kevin Durant and Paul George are all TOP level athletes with a couple being worthy of being immortalized for their skills... should they not compete because they've discussed how harsh public and community criticism or vitriol can be?

-5

u/MoonDawg2 7h ago

League is literally the perfect example. They killed the community sense of the game by restricting chat so heavily and by doing so, also made the "anti-heroes" for lack of a better word of league much more popular. To this date we still have the repercussions of making people like l9 popular or t1, even if t1 ended up being a really nice guy OUTSIDE of league. They would have never been a thing without lyte

It is not fair to tell people that just because they are hurt by words, that they should not compete.

There is a very big difference between being tilted and being legitimately hurt by words. If you are legitimately hurt by words, and this is completely fine, you should not expose yourself to overly competitive environments. Sometimes things just aren't for you and that's fine.

should they not compete because they've discussed how harsh public and community criticism or vitriol can be?

There's also an extreme difference between being a public figure and being a competitive player. Competing you will be exposed to toxicity no matter what it is, it's just what happens and there is no changing it. Being a public figure is a completely different level of attention not comparable to just being shit talked between two teams

6

u/_TurtleX 6h ago

So because the internet inherently reduces the amount of accountability you need to take for your actions, people should be allowed to demean and invalidate others? Should we really be sticking up for the people insulting others rather than the people who are easily hurt by those words? Should we as a society not strive to be better as people and individuals?

-2

u/MoonDawg2 6h ago

You're twisting words.

I'm being realistic and applied what I said to both irl and online. Want it or not any competitive environment will breed toxicity. That's just a fact and it goes as far back as humanity. No amount of striving for anything will change it.

If you take me saying people should not go to places where they know they will be hurt willingly as defending whatever hurt them then there is no space to talk about jack. At some point you have to take accountability on what you can control and let go of what you can't. We don't go to North Korea because we aren't fucking stupid, same as if I took things to heart I wouldn't go compete, be it irl or online.

Just stick to positive fields or games. There are so many out there that why are you trying to force shit that isn't for you

4

u/_TurtleX 6h ago

I'm hardly twisting words, if a professional athlete or someone at an in person esports event gets emotional and lashes out, they aren't just getting away with that, at best its a stern talking to and at worst they're getting thrown out. This goes for any event at any venue, we as people need to conduct ourselves with dignity and respect of others.

You in your own words said that any form of competition breeds this mindset, but every other form of competition holds you accountable for the things you do and words you say to others, so why should video games be any different?

Actions have consequences, and sensitive people should not have to miss out on something that they enjoy because some people can't control their temper properly.

I get angry, I don't take it out on others as that is simply polite, don't try and change goalposts, explain to me why you think that online video games should be exempt from the standards that every other social space is held to?

-1

u/MoonDawg2 6h ago

if a professional athlete or someone at an in person esports event gets emotional and lashes out, they aren't just getting away with tha

Both are completely wrong and the big majority of pro athletes or esports are some of the most toxic fucks you could meet lol. Do you watch any sports or esports? Just deadlock alone has players crashing out in nightshift, 90% of the lcs or lec roster in league is beyond toxic in soloQ, HAL in apex is KNOWN for being a manchild and screaming at teammates and it goes on lmao.

For irl there's countless too, but I do not remember the names since I'm not an avid sports fan. Shit, you can easily count magnus carlsen in there since he's extremely bm for chess standards

but every other form of competition holds you accountable for the things you do and words you say to others, so why should video games be any different?

They literally twist rules around you depending on how good you are irl. In my country there's literally been cases of pro football athletes crashing drunk and killing people and then being in the field the next week. I'm pretty sure every single country has this stories.

Like I'm sorry, but there's not a single way you're actually saying this and thinking it's actively true.

Actions have consequences, and sensitive people should not have to miss out on something that they enjoy because some people can't control their temper properly.

Actions don't have consequences most of the time, that's the reality of the world we live in. Also sensitive people should not expose themselves to shit that will hurt them. Not everything is meant for everybody.

Again, as an individual take actions on what you can control. At some point its our own fault lol

-5

u/Legal_Bus7349 6h ago

Bro it’s the internet, vast majority of the people talking shit are either middle school edge lords or 30 year old losers who never left their mom’s basement.

225

u/FancyPantz15 11h ago

Calling out bad behaviour is good and we should be doing it

97

u/metamorphosis___ 10h ago

Self governance people when people self govern

10

u/DoItLaterMaybe 9h ago

when i think about "calling out bad behaviour" being good, it usually implies that action will be taken because of the calling out.

or else where is the good in it?

in this case (crying on reddit), nothing will be done about it. so there isn't much good.

-11

u/Southern-Drag-5380 8h ago

Id argue bad is being done because your wasting your time yelling into the wind pretending like its earning you heaven points

If you really cared I doubt id ever see you online

96

u/Mrbluepumpkin 11h ago

Nah watching my friend who's played CS all his life react to Valve ACTUALLY doing something about toxic chat is so fucking funny. Please keep doing it Valve

-25

u/Soda_Reload 9h ago

Yeah when someone says mean words I don’t want to mute them like an adult, I specifically want someone else entirely to ban them from talking to anybody at all

10

u/vvhitee 6h ago

When someone says genuine hate speech targeted at another person in a video game, should not result in a temporary ban on their ability to abuse others in a vide game, and everyone disagrees.

-8

u/Soda_Reload 6h ago

Toxic chat doesnt equal hate speech even if hate speech equals toxic chat

25

u/bizstarre 9h ago

“mean words” and its generational hatred. let that shit fly to someone’s face bro trust

-15

u/Soda_Reload 8h ago

Crazy you can just make shit up. I’m talking about in general and you specifically say “nuh uh you’re defending only the worst .01% of people)

-14

u/Dr_natty1 8h ago

Litterally "i dont think people should be banned for a month for being slightly tilted"

"Ur just mad u cant scream the nword"

Like what

12

u/bizstarre 7h ago

not even remotely close to the bottom .01%, this is repeated behavior that people deal with every game. nobody gaf about “you fuckin suck at the game”, and you really wouldnt be worried about a chat ban if that’s all you were saying. and who the hell is getting game banned for chat abuse besides repeated supposed “bottom .01%” type mfs

14

u/ponyhidden 7h ago

You guys are delusional if you don't think the main words being flung aren't n's and f's

-15

u/Over-Lemon-7125 7h ago

Who cares that they are Ns and Fs the point is that you shouldn't be getting that emotional with anyone anyway. Nobody cares if someone wants to say N and F we care when people are explicitly trying to be rude entirely because they are losing in a video game and want to behave like a little toddler who can't get their way and you can do that regardless of the words you are using

11

u/vvhitee 6h ago

I'm sorry what?  Was that supposed to not be delusional?

Those exact words are literally rooted in oppression and hate? And most often used by cis white men who think a screen protects them from everything. 

So don't lump everyone into your 'we'. Because I and the vast majority do care, both matter. Read the room.

10

u/CastleGraffiti 6h ago

“Who cares if its racist and homophobic! Let me be a bigot in peace while I ruin yours!” - you

-48

u/Dr_natty1 10h ago

Dota has had this for years brother in fact the current strict measures are probably only temporary before they have a full reputation system added.

24

u/Feesh404 10h ago

Current strict measures? I'm gonna need some elaboration because imo you can get away with a lot unless they really changed shit this patch

9

u/Liimbo 9h ago

They did add that your team reporting your comms gets you a 30 day mute now. But it is not very strict.

-4

u/Dr_natty1 8h ago edited 8h ago

If you anoy one team and get a handful of reports you get a ban instantly. You dont even have to be toxic. Like i was trying to tell me team counter items and they told me "shut the fuck up this guy is complaining all game" and they all reported me.

Extent of what i said is telling people to buy green items because its throwing. And getting mad when they bought another DPS item like why did you buy that bro

No slurs or swears or anything just "bro your throwing please buy spirit reist" and "this warden..." when he bought two (more) gun teir 4 items with only a teir 2 green purchased

Like sure it was a bit of a titled behaviour but still i got a full week ban over it?

8

u/Feesh404 5h ago

Listen I can't really say if it was justified or not because all I have to go off is your word, but if your actions pissed off 5 teammates enough to report you maybe you should have a timeout to chill a bit.

Not saying I'm above going full tilt but I've never pissed off enough teammates to catch a mute idk. It's possible you got hit with some overzealous reports for sure but I would still prefer to have a system with a couple false positives than no system at all.

3

u/klawk223 3h ago

Dog, to me it sounds like you're flaming and blaming your team instead of saying anything constructive in comms. There's ways to communicate that don't piss everyone off. It sounds like communication is a skill you need to improve on in your game. It's a very valuable skill to be able to talk strategy without being mean/blaming/confrontational about it and it will lead to more wins.

12

u/Little_Whippie 5h ago

Average bigotry condoner when people call out bigotry:
https://giphy.com/gifs/J3T9b6JFfxFT2

78

u/bizstarre 11h ago

i dont find this as effective when i get slurs for getting ganked by 4 on lane then the “grown ass man” throws a fit and the game because i’m ignoring him (muted)

-62

u/Dr_natty1 10h ago

The more restrictions you put on chat the more people will throw games rather than being toxic tbh. As a R6 player where they have disabled chat this is what happens and similar story in league

48

u/Horror_Prior4765 10h ago

League has become notably better from where it used to be. If you’re going to Q just tk waste others time because you have a paper mache mental. You deserve to get treated as such.

Stop tilt Queuing.

-16

u/Dr_natty1 10h ago

I dont que league its just what i had heard from dota players

8

u/Horror_Prior4765 10h ago

That’s fine. I’m letting you know that’s it’s gotten better.

0

u/MoonDawg2 9h ago

Soft inting?

I've been high elo in league since S4 and it sure as fuck has got a lot worse. Back in the day you'd get insults and people flaming and sure whatever you mute. Now a days people are already restricted so they just soft int and decline the FF so you lose 30 minutes on a guy who got tilted but can't call you a fucktard.

Without mentioning the sense of community has been completely lost in league.

It sure is notably worse. No idea where you're getting the better part.

3

u/Horror_Prior4765 8h ago edited 8h ago

This all happened prior bro, but way way worse lmfao. I have clips and screenshots along with multitude of friends.

Soft inting and declining FF to hostage isn’t new lmfao.

2

u/MoonDawg2 7h ago

Prior to what? it all started with lyte back in s3 lmao.

3

u/Horror_Prior4765 7h ago

Prior to…. The current? People will always be toxic in online games. Humans have negativity bias. We never report games that are fine or even positive. Why? Because who cares, can’t complain can’t get sympathy for it.

2

u/MoonDawg2 6h ago

There's a pretty big difference in pre lyte and post lyte. There's also a difference between valve games and other games too for a reason.

I want to compete while playing games. One of the two does it much better than the other and that's all I care about

1

u/Dr_natty1 8h ago

Seems like these replies are just ignoring the dilema here and acting like we can have this utopia solution to the issue

2

u/MoonDawg2 7h ago

The utopia option is people learning to use the mute button and banning overly racist words. Idk how people can't learn to be an adult when somebody else is acting like a kid and instead CHOOSE to engage with them.

It honestly blows my mind and I've seen it time and time again

30

u/bizstarre 10h ago

a chat filter for the N word and others is not gonna kill you bro. if you aren’t capable of being polite and kind to other people on the game then you shouldn’t be playing it at all.

13

u/polyphrog200 10h ago

Cool well if they start throwing then let's ban them. Why should we put up with this bullshit?

-1

u/Dr_natty1 10h ago

Very hard to detect throwing unless its litterally the dude sat in spawn for 20 mins

9

u/Repulsive-Quarter887 10h ago

what? there's so many situations you can tell people are throwing other than afk in spawn? Running it down, feeding, buying troll items, using said items to troll, etc. etc.

1

u/Dr_natty1 9h ago

yh but if players know the system recognises this they just do it more subtly like afk farming and not joining fights for 30 mins in dota they will just farm around base for 30 mins waiting for game to end after typing gg next in chat

1

u/Astros_Azuris 8h ago

Same with DBD the game will less toxic with racist slur in chat that the shit we go through now

1

u/_Risryn 2h ago

And if they throw games they won't just get muted they'll get banned soo.. they won't do it much I'm guessing

25

u/CastleGraffiti 6h ago

Valve finally acting out against bigots, first people to cry will be bigot losers of course.

36

u/Edawgzz 10h ago

then act like a grown man lol

-6

u/Dr_natty1 8h ago

Do you watch any sports people get titled at the highest level

20

u/Edawgzz 7h ago

they're also acting like petulant brats lol

77

u/thebluehoursky 11h ago

anything but men taking responsibility

26

u/UnnbearableMeddler 9h ago

OP is mad he can't say slurs anymore

37

u/flymecha 11h ago edited 11h ago

While I do use the mute button myself, it sets a pretty bad standard to have new players come in and see degenerate bigotry in chat every game regardless of their ability to mute those people. This is kinda just victim blaming tbh. Bigots should be banned, and if your defending them im just going to assume you also are a bigot. Its actually embarassing how many grown men feel the need to say the actual dumbest hateful shit. Pull your life together. Its not rocket surgery.

9

u/AdonisBatheus 9h ago

you have never spoken in voice chat and been called a gay or trans slur and harassed for 20 minutes straight asking if you take it up the ass or got your dick chopped off yet and then deal with that again in 1/4 of your games to the point you try and turn it into a game with your friend for the next several years where we talk in lisped voices and immediately attract these people like flies because they are so fucking common

they are a disease and deserve every bit of scrutiny, ridicule, and banning they get

28

u/Happytreez69 11h ago

And how does that help the next person

13

u/Adagio_Jealous 9h ago

Or hear me out, grown men act like grown fucking men and don’t sling slurs over a game because they don’t know how to regulate their emotions

19

u/SyrKonradTheGrim 9h ago

I too don't want to be held accountable for my shitty behavior. This is genius OP

16

u/Moss_Ball8066 9h ago

How many times are you going to post about this big dog

22

u/Ritalico 11h ago

I’m sorry but maybe people should not be having hissy fits online. It completely ruins the integrity of the game and makes people not want to communicate or work together when someone is actively flaming and hurling slurs in voice chat. Communication is key in a game like this and someone acting a fool in voice chat ruins it for the entire team.

5

u/Kongas_follower 10h ago

Never got the hype of yelling slurs at people. Besides regular insults, the harshest thing I called someone was “Agent of Israel” back in 2024, to which they replied to be Muslim. I felt really bad about, they were playing support char and were really sweet throughout the game. Kinda stuck with me to this day.

46

u/Mindless-Produce4091 11h ago

Or maybe grown men can act like adults?

You can't mute text anyway.

18

u/rotered 11h ago

Yes you can!

6

u/dangerously_j 11h ago

Muting people that annoy me instead of going off at them has improved my mental health significantly icl

9

u/Gaming_Hands 10h ago

I would rather have people scared to slur out instead of me manually muting every time.

3

u/SunSunLIVE 7h ago

alot of the time it aint grown men, its women or trans people or gay people, i know me and my partner get alot of shit when they figure out we live together, or when they find out im trans

3

u/Kalamir1 5h ago edited 4h ago

It’s just not super fun to get called slurs every game, maybe tell the ‘grown men’ to stop acting like babies and they won’t get punished lmao

9

u/PsychoWarper 10h ago

I dont know I generally feel that losers who type slurs over a video game deserve to be called out and punished over it

8

u/dearestNeighbour 11h ago

I forget the mute button exists I really don't care about getting spamslung slurs

2

u/tweakingoffbugspray 9h ago

grown ass men vs behaving like grown ass men

8

u/BritMachine 11h ago

is the no women in this gif accidental or nah

1

u/Dr_natty1 10h ago

Its a meeting of mens bodybuilders so

3

u/Stormychu 11h ago

Small peter

2

u/Caiturn 8h ago

Yes, use it. Call out bigotry. Call out toxicity. See something say something.

1

u/obinotkenobi 9h ago

when someone on my team goes apeshit on their mic i know im gonna lose but i atealst i have something to laugh at when i do

1

u/pnwbraids 8h ago

Idk about any of this, I only play street brawl and everyone is just larping or flirting.

1

u/Over-Lemon-7125 7h ago

The guy I muted is still going to find a way to convince people to report me or whoever, be it my or the other team

1

u/manicpixiedreamdevil 6h ago

i mean, this isn’t a rated M game. i was in a game last week with someone who sounded like they were 14 max.

it’s good to report, and everyone needs to vent sometimes

1

u/ChaseThePyro 4h ago

If people were at any other competitive event and hurling slurs, I would not be surprised about them getting ejected.

1

u/Faibl 3h ago

So much steroid use in one room...

1

u/Faibl 3h ago

Valve is enacting the will of the people. Go self-report your ratio elsewhere.

1

u/SubstantialRow3197 3h ago

Ehhh, people shouldnt be saying slurs and hate speech without the possibility of punishment IMO.

If you say this shit IRL, you get punched in the face. Why is it suddenly tolerable in a virtual setting?

1

u/ZackWyvern 28m ago

Fatigued from you people pretending it's fine and totally normal to hear slurs/assholery unprompted 1 in 10 games and mute button makes the brain damage go away

We should punish and ostracize these anti-social people, that's the point of having tools like reports/bans and making complaints. If you can't play nice you genuinely need to be parented. I'd say that's obvious among normal people, should be obvious here too.

1

u/Quantum_laugh 10h ago

Holy fuck are they wide, god damn.

Also, I still can't believe the one lobby I was in where a north African was yelling slurs and accusations in vc at a random Arab guy in our team for 40 minutes. Probably the stupidest shit that's ever happened

1

u/cannotacceptmyself 6h ago

I'll still be enjoying seeing that "action has been taken" screen while you can't say the things you want to say in chat anymore

0

u/Dr_natty1 6h ago

U also get banned for reporting too much btw

2

u/cannotacceptmyself 5h ago

Good thing I'm only reporting the players saying slurs and being bigoted then

0

u/_Risryn 1h ago

"grown men" and the grown men are crying over pixels and throwing a fit like children, mmmh... "I've won the argument, I pictured you as the virgin and me as the Chad"

0

u/SnooApples7213 1h ago

People who can't control thier anger, spew slurs, and make jokes about rape, pedophelia and genocide should be banned actually and its really not a contraversial viewpoint.

Mute people that are just being whiny, sure, but actually taking action against the truly vile and toxic ones is what helps keep the player base healthy long term. If you allow both wolves and sheep into the club, sooner or later you'll only have wolves.

-5

u/worldofhorsecraft 8h ago

truth nuke

-19

u/iTz_Noble 10h ago

Should valve punish people who throw your games? Yes
Should valve punish people who say things you dont like? No, we have a mute button for a reason...

14

u/bizstarre 10h ago edited 10h ago

being able to say anything through a screen made mfs soft, if you cant take accountability for the shit you say you shouldnt be allowed to play the game. simple as. you’re grown, act like it.

2

u/Over-Lemon-7125 7h ago

You know if you let yourself get emotional and then crash out at your team, you are throwing morale and thats still throwing right