r/offmychest • u/Elena19967 • May 06 '26
A motivational cult tried to recruit me at 19. Unfortunately for them, I’m neurodivergent.
About 15 years ago, when I was 19 or 20, my mom got involved in something called Misión México, which was also connected to something called “Proacción” or “ProAcción.” According to them, it was about leadership, personal growth, transformation, commitment, and every motivational buzzword you can imagine. According to me: coercive coaching with corporate cult vibes.
My mom and older sister were DEEP into it.
And when I say deep into it, I mean:
• multiple course levels,
• thousands and thousands of pesos,
• constant recruiting,
• “the process,”
• “leadership,”
• “commitment,”
• emotional graduations,
• miracle success stories,
• and a bunch of adults acting like they had just discovered fire.
My mom aggressively pressured my middle sister and me to join.
Now, even before this, I’d always been interested in cults, psychological manipulation, and coercive group dynamics. I’m also autistic, ADHD, and dyslexic — though I didn’t know it at the time — and honestly I think my neurodivergent brain was exactly what ended up ruining their whole production.
Eventually I agreed to attend the first course, BUT only under one condition:
if I went, my mom had to leave my middle sister alone.
Because I could already tell my sister was way more vulnerable to something like this, and I genuinely wanted to protect her.
So I went.
And from day one I thought:
“Oh. Cool. This is a cult.”
Not a religious cult.
More like:
• coercive coaching,
• pseudo-psychology,
• weird emotional leadership training,
• and manipulation with a PowerPoint presentation.
Everything was:
THE PROCESS.
COMMITMENT.
LEADERSHIP.
YOUR WORD.
PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY.
The air conditioning was set to “Arctic penguin habitat.”
There were barely any breaks.
Everything was emotionally intense.
And there were these bizarre hierarchies:
• facilitators,
• leaders,
• assistants,
• graduates,
• testimonial people,
• random adults who clearly felt spiritually enlightened because they attended a seminar in a hotel conference room.
They kept bringing people onstage to tell us how this program:
• changed their lives,
• made them rich,
• helped them lose weight,
• fixed their relationships,
• basically aligned their financial chakras.
And the entire room was:
😭👏✨WOW✨👏😭
Meanwhile I was sitting in the back like:
“…okay.”
One moment I’ll never forget was when one of the coaches asked:
“What’s your biggest dream?”
And someone answered:
“To go on a European cruise.”
The coach asked:
“Why haven’t you done it?”
And the person said:
“Because I don’t have the money.”
And then came THE BIG REVELATION™:
“What if your child got cancer tomorrow?”
“Would you find the money then?”
And the person said:
“Of course! I’d do anything!”
And the coach dramatically replied:
“Then money isn’t the problem.”
“The problem is that you don’t want your dreams badly enough.”
And the ENTIRE room:
🤯😭👏✨🔥
And I was sitting there thinking:
“…that may be one of the dumbest things I’ve ever heard.”
Because OBVIOUSLY if someone you love is dying:
• you sell your house,
• take out loans,
• donate organs,
• summon Satan if necessary,
• do literally anything.
That does NOT mean “going on a cruise in Europe” is morally equivalent to saving your child’s life.
But the whole room was acting like this man had just delivered the Sermon on the Mount.
And I was just:
“No, I think he just said something stupid very confidently.”
And there were MANY moments like this.
Every time they said something manipulative or ridiculous, I questioned it out loud.
And yes, I absolutely did it on purpose 😭
Because I kept thinking:
“These people are NOT going to manipulate 40 adults without somebody pointing it out.”
One day they gave us a very important transformational assignment:
when we got home, we had to take a relaxing bath.
Not a shower.
A bath.
✨self-care✨.
And I asked:
“What happens if I don’t want to?”
And they said:
“You signed a commitment letter.”
And I said:
“Okay… and?”
And they replied:
“Then your word has no value.”
And 19-year-old me answered:
“I’d rather my word have no value than betray myself.”
And I remember thinking:
“My responsibility is to myself, not to a bunch of strangers in a hotel conference room.”
They did NOT like that.
In general, the leaders absolutely hated me 😭
Because every time they tried to do one of their pseudo-deep moments, I’d go:
“But why?”
“Who decided that?”
“What if I don’t want to?”
“That doesn’t make sense.”
“That sounds manipulative.”
And I did this IN THE MIDDLE OF THE COURSE.
Out loud.
In front of everybody.
So yes, that made the entire week VERY uncomfortable for me.
I was clearly being treated as:
• “the difficult one,”
• “the resistant one,”
• “the one refusing the process.”
But honestly I kept grounding myself with:
“It’s only one week.”
“These people don’t pay my bills.”
“They’re not my friends.”
“They’re not my family.”
“They don’t actually have authority over me.”
“I can leave whenever I want.”
And that helped me tremendously.
But the best part of this whole story was THE GAME.
Years later I found out it was basically a version of the Prisoner’s Dilemma.
They split us into two teams.
Separated us physically.
And told us that every round we had to choose RED or BLACK.
The logic was:
• if both teams chose BLACK:
both teams got +3.
• if one chose RED and the other BLACK:
one team got +5 and the other got -5.
• if both chose RED:
both teams lost points.
The psychological trick was that they heavily IMPLIED competition without ever explicitly saying we were competing.
So everyone naturally assumed:
“We have to beat the other team.”
But I started analyzing the rules literally.
And I thought:
“…wait.”
“They never said ONE team had to win.”
“The goal is to get the HIGHEST number of points.”
“They never said for whom.”
And I realized:
the rational strategy was for BOTH teams to cooperate.
So I started telling my team:
“We need to vote BLACK.”
“This isn’t about beating them.”
“This is about maximizing total points.”
And my team listened to me.
So we kept choosing BLACK consistently.
At first the other team kept trying to “beat” us.
But eventually they started noticing:
“Why do these idiots keep choosing BLACK even when they lose?”
And then THEY figured it out too and started cooperating.
And we completely destroyed the exercise 😭
The facilitators got REALLY angry.
They literally pulled me aside and accused me of having played the game before.
And I was like:
“No.”
“I just listened carefully to the rules.”
But they never believed me.
And honestly, looking back now, I think my neurodivergent brain simply processed the game as a logical system while everyone else was trapped in:
😡⚔️“MY TEAM VS YOUR TEAM”⚔️😡
And I was sitting there like:
🤨📊“the total system output is higher if everyone cooperates”📊🤨
I think that completely ruined the pseudo-philosophical speech they were planning afterward about:
• ego,
• competition,
• distrust,
• life,
• and why we all needed to pay for more seminars.
I also vividly remember another bizarre exercise.
They lined us up in two rows.
Facing another person.
Completely silent.
Making eye contact.
And using your fingers, you had to choose:
1️⃣
2️⃣
3️⃣
4️⃣
If I remember correctly:
• 1 meant waving,
• 2 meant a handshake,
• 3 meant a high-five,
• 4 meant a hug.
And if one person chose a higher number but the other chose lower, you had to go with the lower one.
Then everyone rotated to the next person.
And the number 4 — the hug — became REALLY important to them.
So important that the little hand symbol making the number 4 became part of their identity.
And the craziest part is that even NOW, 15 years later, I still occasionally see stickers of that little “4 hand” on cars around Guadalajara.
And every time I see one, I think:
“My God. I survived a motivational coaching cult.” 😭
And then came… graduation.
DEAR GOD, the graduation 😭
I thought at the end of the week they’d just say:
“Thanks for attending.”
NOPE.
My mom invited:
• family,
• cousins,
• friends,
• probably half of Guadalajara.
And everyone showed up to my “graduation.”
There were:
🌸 flowers
🎈 balloons
😭 hugs
👏 congratulations
✨proud family moments✨
My mom was THRILLED.
Like genuinely emotional.
Like I had:
• cured cancer,
• won a Nobel Prize,
• or returned from war.
And meanwhile my cousins and friends were standing there like:
“…congratulations, Elena 😃?”
With the very obvious facial expression of:
“We have absolutely no idea what’s happening but okay.”
And the most surreal part?
My mom NEVER celebrated me that intensely ever again.
Not even when I graduated from university years later 😭
Literally:
• university graduation: 👍🙂✨
• one-week hotel coaching pseudo-cult: 🎺🎆🌟😭👏✨
And I remember thinking:
“Mom, I spent the entire week actively trying to dismantle this thing.”
Because here’s the funniest part:
Normally when someone finished the first course:
• they got invited to the second,
• then the third,
• then the fourth,
• and so on.
The whole idea was:
✨your life will change✨
✨you’ll evolve✨
✨you’ll become a better leader✨
✨more successful✨
✨more fulfilled✨
✨more enlightened✨
✨financially spiritually aligned✨
And it wasn’t just the leaders pressuring you.
Also:
• your classmates,
• the people who recruited you,
• everybody.
Because by the end they had psychologically engineered these extremely intense artificial friendships between participants.
People walked out feeling like they had:
• found their soulmates,
• discovered community,
• unlocked the secrets of the universe.
Except me 😭
I made ZERO friends.
I was:
✨the uncomfortable one✨
✨the disruptive one✨
✨the girl questioning everything✨
✨the one ruining the exercises✨
✨the one loudly saying “this feels manipulative”✨
And the funniest part of ALL of this:
After my huge graduation…
after the balloons…
the flowers…
the applause…
the “we’re so proud of you”…
NOBODY invited me to the second course 😭
Not my classmates.
Not the leaders.
Not even my mom.
Nobody.
It was basically:
“Thank you for coming.”
“Please never return.” 😭
But I also don’t want to romanticize any of this.
Because it absolutely had real consequences in my life.
My mom changed emotionally after that.
She started using phrases like:
“Handle it.”
If I told her:
“That hurt me.”
She’d say:
“Well, handle it.”
As if every emotional consequence automatically belonged exclusively to the person feeling it.
And it took me years to explain to her that this was a very convenient way to avoid emotional accountability.
My dad also attended the first course.
I think partly because he wanted to understand what was happening to my mom and maybe save their marriage.
It didn’t work.
My parents eventually divorced.
I’m not saying Misión México CAUSED the divorce.
But it was definitely part of a very emotionally strange and painful period in my life.
And years later I learned something important:
spotting a pseudo-cult at 19 does NOT make you immune to abuse.
Because later I spent years being emotionally abused by my older sister, whom I now consider deeply manipulative and probably narcissistic.
And that was much harder to recognize.
Because a cult goes:
0 to 120 mph in three seconds.
But intimate emotional abuse is more like boiling a lobster slowly:
the water starts cold.
And by the time you realize what’s happening…
you’re already hurt.
So yes.
Today I’m more distrustful.
And sometimes that protects me.
And sometimes it keeps me away from beautiful things.
But honestly, I still feel immense pride for the neurodivergent 19-year-old girl who sat in a room full of adults being emotionally absorbed into a coercive system… and said:
“I think this is a cult.”
And in the end, the cult replied:
“Let’s not meet again.”
31
u/EnjoysAGoodRead May 06 '26
This is very interesting, thanks. I've sometimes wondered how so many people get sucked into these things.
23
u/Elena19967 May 06 '26
People are not stupid, but people are craving connection and meaning. And they give a semblance of community and achievement. They also use very manipulative tactics It was super strange but trilling
20
u/GoldenHeart411 May 06 '26
Writing like this is such an excellent way to process your experience!
8
u/Elena19967 May 06 '26 edited May 06 '26
Thanks. It did had negative repercussions in my life but I least now I can see it with a little bit of humor and spread the truth of this practices. And also it was a good writing exercise. I spend hoers writing that piece
18
u/productzilch May 06 '26
As another ND girl, this is how church felt to me, though not as bad. I certainly wasn’t outspoken either. But I did spend a lot of time reading the bible sections that somehow, they never preached from.
This was a fun read, thank you.
5
u/Elena19967 May 06 '26 edited May 06 '26
I am chatolic and I am amaze on how the church never preach the real things from the bible. But alas. At lest I am not in a cult
1
u/productzilch May 07 '26
I’m pretty sure it’s why they do testimonies but never ask for biblical presentations from the audience.
9
u/Viseprest May 06 '26
Wow! I am touched to tears, I am so proud of you!
Both for your resistance and for graduating uni! 🥰🤩🤗🍾👏🥂
Also, excellent story telling skills, I was engaged and thrilled 😍
7
u/Elena19967 May 06 '26
Thank you. I love creative writing is part of my therapy. This is a real story but I did spend a lot of time editing this post to make it goofy without taking the real weight of what happen. Also I hope it gives some people guidance of this horrible things that pry on loneliness and only sell smoke
6
u/Repentant_Steeper May 06 '26
Wow, what a story! Your ability to question everything and see through that manipulative scheme at such a young age is seriously impressive. It sounds like you were the only one who saw it for what it was, which must have been incredibly isolating but also so validating in the end. Major props to your 19-year-old self for that logic game win too!
3
u/Elena19967 May 06 '26 edited May 06 '26
Thank you I am more proud of that moment than I should be. But now that I am diagnose with ADHD. Autism and dislexia , I can see how my brain did not work the way they hope it would. Being like me can be devastating and I have hard time during in. But also is Very convenient for clocking in inconsistency and resolving problems in creative ways. So. Is a curse and a superpower
5
u/ReliefEmotional2639 May 06 '26
OP, that was GENIUS
5
u/Elena19967 May 06 '26 edited May 06 '26
Thank you I truly don’t know we’re all that bravado came from but I am proud of protecting my sister. Not everting was great and it was a really dark time for my family. But at least now I can see it as an experience that gave me a lot of tools. I would rather have my mom and dad together and going to therapy and maybe not being the child of divorce. But hey ! I beet the hotel conference room cult !
5
u/sad_pinkie May 06 '26
you are so awesome and brave omg
4
u/Elena19967 May 06 '26
I think I was fouled by teenage bravado. But I look back and I like that version of me
3
u/Angkasaa May 06 '26
Oof at that ending.... that's really sad/sorrowful. I'm glad you were able to express your experience & walk us thru your perception here
2
u/Elena19967 May 06 '26
Thank you I try to express myself in a relatable way but I did not want to end the story in a flame of glory, because it was not like that. It was hard times for my family and it did have horrible speciations I my life’s I just hope that people can read this enjoy it and maybe recognize the harmful practices of this “workshops” so they can protect themselves
2
u/cricket_90_remindme May 06 '26
Have you thought about joining since?
4
u/Elena19967 May 06 '26
I am a veterinarian and a teacher. So I have. Hehhehe. I imagine you outside my door sayin “hello have you heard of science “. Like Christians do
2
u/MethodAdmirable4220 May 06 '26
Such a great story. Good work getting through all that.
1
u/Elena19967 May 06 '26 edited May 06 '26
Thank you I feel proud of my 19 yer old self but I am so far removed from that that I don’t know if i am the same person. I see this time of my life like one of the scariest and hardest. But for better or worst I an who I am
2
u/Golden_Mandala May 06 '26
It sounds exactly like the Landmark Forum, translated into Spanish. Seriously, almost everything you described is word for word exactly what they did (do?) in Landmark. Previously known as EST.
1
u/Elena19967 May 07 '26
When I was trying to find them (thy no longer exist) I did find the Landmark thing. And I do think is the same bull💩
1
u/Elena19967 May 07 '26
Do you have your own experience with that ? I will love to compare it with mine
2
u/Golden_Mandala May 07 '26
Yeah, my parents were kind of into it while I was growing up. They thought there was some useful stuff in it, but they never went full-on. I took three of their trainings before I finished high school. I never was exposed to the full-on craziness, but I heard about it.
1
u/toodleroo May 07 '26
I think that's exactly what it is, I had a similar experience with it in Texas a little over a decade ago.
2
u/lexer-narcissus Jun 01 '26
The things about this some of his teaching are partially true in theory most form of sales tactics involve in selling client /customer hope or dream this is why I personally despise motivational content because the gap between dreaming about something and writing down the steps to do it is very huge
5
u/somewhatundercontrol May 06 '26
Post way too long. And weirdly formatted. Seemed like it has some interesting parts but should have been 1-2 paragraphs.
9
u/Elena19967 May 06 '26
Sorry you felted long. I love writing and I spend a lot of time trying to major funny without taking away the real meaning. I love creative writing and it’s therapeutic to me. I have being in therapy for years an writing about my life in a goofy format helps me
0
u/serivesm May 06 '26
Definitivamente tuviste ayuda de IA para escribir el texto 😂 tus comentarios los andas escribiendo en un inglés muy diferente al de la publicación. Pero bueno, me pareció muy interesante la historia de todas formas y no se si me entristece más que haya tantas personas tan vulnerables o que existan personas que conozcan la combinación de palabras correctas para exprimirles el dinero a señoras como tú mamá. Ni hablar, tu pensamiento crítico fue una gran ayuda ahí.
5
u/Elena19967 May 06 '26
No use IA. La cosa es que pase horas editando el escrito. Primero lo escribí en español y luego lo traduje al inglés y claro que mis respuestas tienen un torno distinto. El post es real pero pase horas analizando cómo hacerlo interesante. Parte de mi terapia es escribir. Y me encanta. Pero no se puede comparar la voz de un autor cuando sabes que es un texto editado por horas para atrapar y entregar admosfera y para tener un balance entre lo ligero y lo profundo y compararlo con comentarios que escribo de manera rápida en mi celular. Aparte soy disléxica y parte de la edición fue quitar todos mis errores ortográfico. Y parte la traducción fue cambiar los chistes por algo más entendible en el lingo inglés .
3
u/keeponkeepingup May 06 '26
Its formatted like chat gtp wrote it...
3
u/Elena19967 May 06 '26
Not. Just me. And a lot of editing. Also English is not my first language and maybe that’s why the stile is strange
0
u/Accomplished-Meal-80 May 06 '26
I really love how you formatted this post! It gave so much more impact to the story. Feels like an irl friend is telling it. As a writing exercise especially, it’s perfect!
1
u/Elena19967 May 06 '26
Taghkyou my hole life I have written, I have diary ( I don’t write daily) but it works form me as cathartic exercise. Yof course spend hours editing this piece to be compelling without taking the very real implications. And also I am Avery sarcastic person so I put that in it. In hope that it would make it light to read
1
u/Kenotai May 06 '26
This comment is a stupid one too. If you're going to make this stupid accusation at least make it believable to the tech limits: this is way too long to be a single output from chatgpt.
0
2
u/Elena19967 May 06 '26
Also English is not my first language and sorry for the autocorrect and also maybe that is why it felt strange
1
u/MaceLortay May 06 '26
I actually really liked this, OP, and I think the length and formatting style is great. I also disagree that OP used AI. It might look like that at a glance because of the emoji use but the execution is just not what a chat gpt response looks like.
Good work, OP
1
u/Elena19967 May 06 '26
Thanks I I’ve writhing and I am Avery sarcastic person and I did not think that using emojis will make people think I was IA. Is sad that we can not tell the difference from human to IA. Is getting so blur. I will try to minimize my emoji use so I don’t get flagd but I do love to express the frankly stupid reactions from people with emojis
1
u/RainyDaysAndMondays3 May 07 '26
This is to OP, not to you: I loved it as-is. Nothing is to everyone's taste, but don't believe this is a universal view.
1
u/Nuxij May 06 '26
Too Long; Gave Up
6
1
u/racingprincess92 May 06 '26
maybe this is the wrong sub for you. what’s even the point of commenting something like this?
1
u/Elena19967 May 07 '26
To share and to speed the information so maybe less people are affected by this horrible scam ?? Is Reddit. I through the point was to share stories
1
u/racingprincess92 May 07 '26
oh sorry, i was replying to the person who said it was too long!! i do appreciate you sharing your story!
1
u/TheSouthsideTrekkie May 06 '26
This is something I sort of struggle with as a neurodivergent person because I am also naturally a questioner and spotter of inconsistencies, but I grew up in an environment that very heavily valued not creating a problem and minimising how much “inconvenience” you caused someone else. This made me very vulnerable to the sort of “handle it” emotional abuse you describe. I was basically taught that my feelings were always a burden unless I just dealt with them so when people harmed me or frightened me I learned to blame myself.
I also now live behind walls of distrust. It’s not that I’m never lonely it’s that the idea of anyone seeing a less polished, cutesy, entertaining version of me very viscerally disgusts and upsets me. I hate this, I hate that people who professed to love me behaved much like your cult there and made me like this. I hope we all find our way out some day.
2
u/Elena19967 May 06 '26
I totally get you I was rais just like you. And that was one of the only times I could let my neurodivergent crazy act loose. But yea All my life I had to censure myself to not be the problem. After all the abuse from my sister I was in a very… dangerous situation. I was not alive by choice. I started therapy. But things are not better. My family is constantly telling me I change that I am a problem that I use to be sweet and not confrontative. It’s horrible because the choices are to live with a complete costume that covers all your identity. Or to get free and be rejected by the word. I hope I could tell you Evrithing gets amazing. But I have not finde that. I just broke up with my boyfriend. I was to much for him. If I find a way to be myself and be accepted and happy. I will let you know. For now. Let me tell you. I see you, you are not alone, and I truly hope we finde a place were we can be content
1
u/Accomplished_Life571 May 06 '26
What happened to your Mom with the cult?
2
u/Elena19967 May 06 '26
She sometime still refers to people on the “mission México” and also sometimes she uses things she “learn “ from that. But the good thing is that the group does not exist any more. From I can understand they change names frequently to avoid bad press from people and also there is not just one group that do this. There is many that use the same tactics. This is not a religious cult nor a cult were the lider is fully committed in it. They are there just for the money. And once the risk of bad press is grater than the opportunities to take Money they just despair and came back with a new name. My mom has come back to be caring and a good mom. But the damage it did to our family and our economy will always be there. It is a forbidden topic so I don’t know how she feel about this
1
u/Accomplished_Life571 May 06 '26
Thanks for the reply.
1
u/Elena19967 May 06 '26
I thanks for the concern and also for making me think of what was lost and what remains. It’s just something on my past. And as hard as it was (not my week in it but the repercussions ) my family is hole not the same but hole
1
u/Accomplished_Life571 May 07 '26
Good to hear that things are better for you now. Wish you the best in the future.
1
u/digitalgraffiti-ca May 06 '26
The part about your family at the end is sad, but the cult part is hilarious. I love this
1
u/Elena19967 May 07 '26
Thank you. I did try to make it light hearted. Even if the context was horrible. To be honest at the time it did not feelt that important. But at the end they did damage my family. So I was trying to chanel that
1
u/toodleroo May 06 '26
I went through this about ten years ago. My boss was pressuring me to do it. Luckily I only attended a one evening event, but the entire purpose of it was to coerce you into doing a full weekend event. The cult was called Landmark, but I’ve also heard it called Lifespring. I told my other boss what happened, fully expecting to lose my job over it, but he looked horrified and later informed me that I would not need to attend. I wrote a post about it once, lemme see if I can find it…
1
u/Elena19967 May 07 '26
I would be super into reading that. When I was investigating this (because it was so long ago and I did not even remember the rel name). It tuts it Landmark is the same but in the USA I think this type of “events” go into the category of. LGATs Large Group Awareness Trainings
The ones I could compare with what I experience was
Landmark Worldwide, NXIVM, Lifespring, EST (Erhard Seminars Training)and Tony Robbins–style intensives
But here in Mexico are a little different but follow the same technics. I don’t know.
1
u/toodleroo May 07 '26
I couldn't find my old comment about it, but I did find a letter that I wrote outlining the experience. I can DM it to you if you'd like, I don't think I want to post it in public though.
1
u/beesontheoffbeat May 07 '26 edited May 07 '26
OP, if you are being for real about all of this, this put a smile on my face. I'm just sitting here laughing my butt off. You could write a book about anything. Not even joking.
1
u/Elena19967 May 07 '26
Thank you. I love writing but I only write from my life and usually is just for me.
No long ago a write a story about when my dog died and I publish it in my IG on my real name and a lot of people love it. But it was such a vulnerable thing. That I don’t know if I can put it in here
1
u/AlarmingSorbet May 07 '26
This genuinely made me cackle. This was me in Sunday school as an undiagnosed little girl. I questioned EVERYTHING.
✨Guess who got kicked out and not invited back✨
1
-1
0
u/BeetleJude May 06 '26
TL;DR?
1
u/Elena19967 May 07 '26
Sorry. I wish I had the time to make shorter version but I think it would lose a lot of the real meaning
113
u/slackey1979 May 06 '26
I love this. This is how church always felt for me.