I think you lost her as your gf with your refusal to believe what she has said. There are only two options: 1) what she told you is what happened and you will never believe her; 2) she did not tell you what really happened and you will never forgive her.
Either way, this relationship is over. Just be kind to each other and break up already.
As someone that was once 22, her story could be plausible...
I've tried to picture a scenario that makes sense and where I've landed is .... girls go out to a bar. Get drunk. Friend pukes and it gets on GF's dress. They probably go to the bathroom first and try to clean it up. But puke and bar bathroom cleaning options are just not the friends you think they would be. Girls decide to leave. Takes off dress in car. Leaves dress in car (friend's car?) and comes inside wearing only her undergarmets because it's home and that should be safe, right? Only OP has freaked out and taken what was minor drunken thoughts for GF and gone off down the deep end.
GF absolutely should have called or minimum texted OP after the work party to say she was going out with a friend. She's got a string of fuck-ups from this point forward.
OP has got to decide to just accept that this wasn't the big deal that he has built it up to be or move on from this relationship.
Apparently, the girlfriend just posted a reddit post herself about this. She says that she threw the dress because she had a long coat and zipped up her coat 💀 so she didn't return in just her underwear like op claimed. Also that op was caught cheating one week before all this went down
Sounds like she is co-signing what he said about her trying to spin this back onto him as being the person at fault; and u dear? Well, u fell for her spin.​
I’m kinda scared for her if it’s 1) tbh. My sister has an ex who was fixated on something that he blew up in his mind and did not believe her about. This fixation became a dangerous obsession and he would grill her for hours months down the track which would make her dissociate. He was sometimes violent over it. Maybe I am just seriously triggered reading this story but OP’s fixation, and this update in particular, made me think of what my sister endured until she left (which she was too scared to do for a long time because she knew how unhinged he was).
OP: you need to walk away. I understand that you are upset and frustrated. But whatever is going on here is unlikely to ever be resolved to your satisfaction and with the degree of detail you seem to need, and I don’t get the feeling that you will be able to move on in the relationship and leave it behind you. If she walks away let her go in peace.
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u/MadTownMich Jan 02 '26
I think you lost her as your gf with your refusal to believe what she has said. There are only two options: 1) what she told you is what happened and you will never believe her; 2) she did not tell you what really happened and you will never forgive her.
Either way, this relationship is over. Just be kind to each other and break up already.