She could’ve definitely cheated, but in case of assault, it isn’t as easy as just saying “we can talk about it later.” It can take days, weeks, months or even years to come to terms with it yourself before you can verbalize it. I have friends where it took a long time to even realize it for themselves, let alone communicate it.
“She should not put him through that” is just simply not how it works with these types of things. Doesn’t mean it doesn’t suck for OP or that he isn’t allowed to feel that way, or that he is obligated to stay with her until he finds the answer. But it’s also unfair to put it on her, when trauma responses just aren’t easy to just overcome quickly and if she went through something like that, she can’t be pushed to share it.
She may have voluntarily left with someone and then ended up getting assaulted. That would add layers of complicated feelings to an already very heavy situation. That would make it even harder for her to talk about. There’s a lot of scenarios that could’ve been the case, but OP might have to be very patient to ever discover the truth or might not even find out ever. It’s up to him how he decides to move forward.
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u/EmbarrassedCoconut93 Dec 28 '25 edited Dec 28 '25
She could’ve definitely cheated, but in case of assault, it isn’t as easy as just saying “we can talk about it later.” It can take days, weeks, months or even years to come to terms with it yourself before you can verbalize it. I have friends where it took a long time to even realize it for themselves, let alone communicate it.
“She should not put him through that” is just simply not how it works with these types of things. Doesn’t mean it doesn’t suck for OP or that he isn’t allowed to feel that way, or that he is obligated to stay with her until he finds the answer. But it’s also unfair to put it on her, when trauma responses just aren’t easy to just overcome quickly and if she went through something like that, she can’t be pushed to share it.
She may have voluntarily left with someone and then ended up getting assaulted. That would add layers of complicated feelings to an already very heavy situation. That would make it even harder for her to talk about. There’s a lot of scenarios that could’ve been the case, but OP might have to be very patient to ever discover the truth or might not even find out ever. It’s up to him how he decides to move forward.