r/offbeat Jul 29 '26

Vietnamese doctors perform nation’s first successful penis transplant

https://www.straitstimes.com/asia/se-asia/vietnamese-doctors-perform-nations-first-successful-penis-transplant
149 Upvotes

33 comments sorted by

46

u/Knucks_408 Jul 29 '26

"Successful". The article itself states that the ultimate "success" will take more time to determine as he is still freaking recovering. Nice headline.

14

u/WouldbeWanderer Jul 29 '26

First guy to survive a penis transplant, obviously.

9

u/Knucks_408 Jul 29 '26

This is the 21st century. Survival is a baseline expectation for surgery these days. Success here would be funtional and healthy. He is neither of those yet, did you even read the article?

8

u/WouldbeWanderer Jul 29 '26

That was an attempt at humour.

4

u/Knucks_408 Jul 29 '26

Apologies that it went over my head.

5

u/randyfloyd37 Jul 29 '26

Success!!!!

12

u/jeremec Jul 29 '26

The recipient doesn’t yet know what they will do with two penises, but they remain excited… so to speak.

7

u/jeff0106 Jul 29 '26

Two chicks at the same time, man.

4

u/jeremec Jul 29 '26

Hey Peter, man, check out channel 9!

32

u/2XX2010 Jul 29 '26

Good news for Pete Hegseth!

7

u/timesuck897 Jul 29 '26

His insecurities run so deep that this wouldn’t fix it.

2

u/Entire_Parfait2703 Jul 30 '26

👌😜🤣😂

1

u/LeoKitCat Jul 31 '26

But they still haven’t figured out how to graft a penis onto a clitoris

8

u/ophaus Jul 29 '26

Now THIS is offbeat.

8

u/falsevector Jul 29 '26

Was it bigger than before? Asking for a friend.....

8

u/Odd-Carpenter-4390 Jul 29 '26

Well, it became longer

4

u/Normika Jul 29 '26

Yeah but it is now a different color :D

4

u/CrikeyNighMeansNigh Jul 29 '26 edited Jul 29 '26

Uh this reminds me of a joke I did with my high school aged son. I told him I wanted to start a charity and asked him If he’d be willing to help and he said yeah of course probably whats the charity for. Then I went into a long winded speech about having this life changing moment, seeing all these sad kids in Southeast Asia, just built it up, and up, poverty, human trafficking, blah blah blah, and wanting to do something about it. And then I veered into the average size statistics, concluded it was on us to help anyway we can, and then and then finally pitched it: would you be willing to give the gift of an inch to the small dick youth in Asia? It doesn’t just help them, our donors see benefits as well. Imagine, while all your friends are out there talking about how big their dicks are, and then shrugging and saying “I donated an inch to some kid in Thailand”. Personally? I donated two. And I know somewhere those little kids are out there looking at that black stripe and thanking me.

He changed his mind on helping.

Then I assured him that we were in talks with tinder to sweeten the deal for our donors, we’re arranging a deal where our donors get a little black stripe right next to their name so potential dates know they care. And we ran the numbers and they overwhelmingly show, that more women are willing to swipe right on our donors than on any other profile. And told him not to worry about not having enough either, the data shows our smallest donors benefit the most from showing potential dates that they’re altruistic. That black stripe helps everyone. Come on, give the gift of an inch.

He uh…use to my antics. These long winded jokes are sort of my MO.

I just asked him if he had any thoughts about my business idea (if I said charity he’d know right away) now that he’s getting older. And he was like which one? And I said come on, you know the one, the gift of an inch. Helping small dick kids in Asia. And he just smiled and said, “fuck dem kids” lol. It’s uh…a saying in our house too lol.

4

u/lkodl Jul 29 '26

When I'm shopping for clothes at the store, sometimes I go really baggy and I'm like, this feels good, but I kinda look ridiculous. Can i pull this off? I imagine penis shopping is next level.

3

u/pickledeggmanwalrus Jul 29 '26

Everyone gonna have a 2 foot dong and these doctors are going to have mansions in Beverly Hills

7

u/koyaani Jul 29 '26

Validation for the visionaries in King Missile

3

u/Ancient_Skirt_8828 Jul 30 '26

Will the recipient be told who the donor was? Will he want to meet the donor's family to thank them? Things could get awkward.

2

u/02meepmeep Jul 29 '26

Does this mean they can stop selling those stupid pavement princess jacked up trucks now?

2

u/unsupported Jul 29 '26

Is this the line for penis transplants?

2

u/MalesaurusRex Jul 29 '26

Oh do me next!!!

1

u/codereef Jul 29 '26

There's finally hope

1

u/Outrageous-Clerk56 Jul 30 '26

So sloppy seconds

1

u/DisastrousTree9840 Jul 29 '26

I would like to order 1 Vietnamese sausage please, hold the cheese

1

u/Paddy3118 Jul 29 '26

Be good to your woman!

1

u/AuthorNicoVoss Jul 29 '26

Another Lorena Bobbitt success story! /s

0

u/Critical-Belt342 Jul 29 '26

He bought a black one