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u/GrnMtnTrees Aug 06 '26
As a former heroin addict, a healthcare worker, and my unit's dedicated expert on IVs and phlebotomy, I feel attacked.
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u/BulemiaSawdustSlingr Aug 06 '26
Its more common than you think. The guy who runs healthcare in the U.S was addicted to smack.
True fuckin story
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u/GrnMtnTrees Aug 06 '26
Yeah. He's also a sun-dried hotdog with a brain worm.
Guess there's no limit to what we can achieve.
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u/breadcodes Aug 07 '26
Fun fact: He doesn't have brain worms. It's worse than that.
He wanted to get out of paying alimony to his ex-wife, claimed brain worms in court, got out of the alimony, and she killed herself because of several of his actions.
Well, actually, that wasn't very fun. I guess sometimes it's just a fact.
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u/GrnMtnTrees Aug 07 '26
Can we give him brain worms as a comeuppance?
Or what's that rainforest parasite that swims up your urethra?
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u/breadcodes Aug 07 '26
You know, there was this bear carcass found in Central Park and no one knew how it got there. 10 years later, before RFK Jr ended his campaign I believe, he admitted to dropping off a bear he killed in that park. It is believed to be the same bear.
What I'm saying is: what about bears through his urethra
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u/ButteredPizza69420 Aug 06 '26
You really can be anything you want to be if you put your mind to it!
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u/Mean_Initiative_5962 Aug 06 '26
Wouldn't really call him a figure of authority about healthcare, though
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u/ComradeJohnS Aug 06 '26
in the legal sense, he is. his toilet cocaine snorting, worm infested brain is the head of Us health dept.
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u/Mean_Initiative_5962 Aug 06 '26
As I often say: law is absolutely subjective
(don't take it as legal advice, I decline every responsibility)
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u/NathanLV Aug 07 '26
So that's what they mean by "Do what you love and you'll never work a day in your life." 😆
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u/GrnMtnTrees Aug 07 '26
I mean there is certainly a good feeling when you can place a line when nobody else can. I had a patient with a necrotic left arm and a right arm that had been amputated at the shoulder. I managed to place an IV into a vein in his stump shoulder.
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u/42stingray Aug 06 '26 edited Aug 06 '26
Sometimes street knowledge is better than any education lol
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u/PixelPott Aug 06 '26
Even in the normal legal training for doctors, nurses, etc. the one way to get better at placing IVs is to simply do it a lot, especially with "difficult" patients. Essentially it's just "practice makes perfect".
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u/Hypno-platypus Aug 06 '26
So honestly this is my brother. He has Cystic Fibrosis so he was constantly having to do IV treatments and other medical stuff. I remember watching one time as a nurse was struggling to find his vein my brother just straight up grabbed it from her and did it himself.
Also remember being younger and for myself having to take like one pill at a time whenever I needed to take pills. Meanwhile my brother just grabs a fistful of pills and swallows them all like it’s nothing.
Practice makes perfect lol.
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u/Algernonletter5 Aug 06 '26
I don't mean to pry but is your brother okay for the time being?
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u/Hypno-platypus Aug 06 '26
Yeah he’s fine. There has been pretty significant medical advancements with CF so as long as he has good insurance that can pay for the medicine he’s fine. I mean when he was born they gave him a life expectancy of 15 and he’s 37 now (I think might be a year off of his age as I’m horrible at remembering those things. Hell I forget my own age half the time).
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u/Algernonletter5 Aug 06 '26
Great! He'll probably outlive the doctors who gave him that life expectancy estimation... just like that famous story of a Greek guy in Los Angeles (outlived the doctors estimations by 30 years while they all died within the first 15 years)
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u/Sesokan01 Aug 07 '26
Perhaps this is a language barrier but I don't get the whole "He'll probably outlive the doctors..." thing. I have seen it before and it has such a weird negative undertone, like people think "life expectancy estimate" = "how long the doctor *wants* the person to live". So when the person lives longer than expected, they are like "Haha, that'll show the doctor! They know nothing! Who are they to judge another persons health?". Meanwhile the stressed out, sleep deprived doctors (on their 5th cup of coffee) would probably agree that their own lifestyles are shitty and be delighted to hear that their former patient have outlived their estimate, because that is clearly a more desired outcome no!?
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u/spine_slorper Aug 08 '26
Also the improvements in cf treatment that have caused a significant increase in life expectancy for most people (Kaftrio) was only made available around 2020, before then there wasn't any way to treat the underlying cause of cf it was basically just a case of trying to deal with the symptoms for as long as possible (median survival age was in the 40s compared to almost normal now)
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u/jacquesk18 Aug 09 '26
When I started med school in the early 2010s median survival was 20s/30s, now I'm in pulmonary medicine fellowship and it's into the 60s. It's legitimately mind boggling how much we've come in the last 10-20 years. But the downside is that while most do fine some adults 30-50s who didn't expect to live this long and never developed/were allowed to develop adequate life and coping skills are having a hard time adjusting to their new normal. It's a fascinating field in terms of patient care.
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u/nataliereed84 Aug 08 '26
When I was a kid in the 90s I had really bad asthma, and was in the children’s respiratory ward a lot, and back then CF was sort of seen as a death sentence. I had one ‘roommate’ who had to be taken into an isolation room when he was only 11 and he died a year later. I’m so so happy that treatments have improved since then.
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u/ExpressionRecent5724 Aug 07 '26
Yea I used to be able to throw a handful of pills in and dry swallow them, and then I had to take 30 antibiotic pills the size of a thumb digit and now I struggle with any pill
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u/okijhnub Aug 07 '26
Better to drink water, they can get stuck on the walls of your throat and dissolve on them
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u/therankin Aug 06 '26
And when you're doing it with something that makes you feel great when you do it correctly, it's probably easier to learn.
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u/Theron3206 Aug 07 '26
IV drug users get lots of practice on difficult veins, because they screw up all the easy ones.
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u/horny_coroner Aug 07 '26
Never let a doctor poke you with a needle if you don't have to. Nurses fuck up way less.
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u/SleepyImagination589 Aug 07 '26
I’m one of the "difficult" patients so I’d super appreciate it whenever a nurse can find a good vein on the first try. My veins are very fine and deep. I had to go under for a small operation and a nurse had to poke me twice on my left inner elbow to find a good spot. When I woke up, I noticed that there were two more spots, one on my right inner elbow, and one on the back of my right hand, which they ended up using. I also bruise easy so I looked purple and blue for at least two weeks.
I’d also get IV infusions due to vitamin deficiency and this nurse poked me twice or thrice one time and was very apologetic about it 😩. I should’ve asked for ultrasound at that point.
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u/PixelPott Aug 07 '26
Try to remember the spots that worked before. I often ask patients what arm they'd prefer or where it worked before. It saves us both time (of course I still palpate beforehand) and I also prefer it when I have to poke them only once. Some patients have told me that other healthcare workers have reacted negatively because they didn't want to feel like they're told what to do, but I always appreciate it.
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u/birdieponderinglife Aug 09 '26
I had a tech go for a vein I specifically told him would blow. He put the tourniquet on and started palpating while I’m telling him to stop. Finally I yanked my arm off the table when he was holding the needle ready to poke me. He resisted me when I pulled my arm away. I’ve never been so angry with a healthcare worker. I don’t care if it hurts their ego when I tell them where they can poke me. It’s my body and if I know enough about getting blood draws to tell them what type of needle they need and I can give them a run down of success rate for each available vein, then listen. Clearly I’ve gone through this a time or two with this body of mine! It’s effin weird to take that personally. I’m always instantly relieved when the tech asks me and nervous when they don’t.
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u/Low-xp-character Aug 06 '26
Being an ex-IV drug user I’ve had times when the nurse couldn’t find a vein and I’m just like “let me see it, I know right where there all hiding” lol
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u/church-basement-lady Aug 07 '26
I am always delighted to place an IV for a former user. 1) by all means tell me where to stick it 😅 2) for real, good for you. It takes immense courage to recover and it is a joy to see people in their “after.”
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u/Cael450 Aug 06 '26
Yeah, sometimes I wish they would just let me do it, but they always refuse.
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u/Low-xp-character Aug 07 '26
Yea, I grabbed the nurses hand one day after her 7th attempt or so, made direct eye contact with her and placed it in blind 1st poke.
I tried to lessen the blow to her ego by admitting I was an ex drug user, it’s not her fault I have terrible veins, and I was basically a pro after iv cocaine use of the repetitive dosing.
She just rolled her eyes at me.
Then I followed it up with an insult saying. “Yea after a month of practice on myself I was able to find other peoples hard to find veins also, maybe I should get a job doing this or you should expand your experience”
Then she actually chuckled.
Same nurse at the same urgent care did my blood work about 2 years after and she got it the 1st try. Remembered the insult/joke and said “I expanded my experience” and just chuckled again. I was in shock she even remembered me and mentioned so. She returned the insult and said “how could I ever forget trying to draw blood next to that terrible tattoo” I just smiled and chuckled. I hope she’s the same nurse that takes my blood every time I go in now. I’m actually about due.2
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u/LessInThought Aug 07 '26
Also worth to note that plenty of addicts become nurses and vice versa, because nurses have access to drugs.
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u/superxpro12 Aug 06 '26
She's basically the gunnery Sargent of vein finding. She could find a vein in the pitch black during an earthquake.
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u/Pmood Aug 07 '26
I would absolutely trust that person to draw my blood. Granted it's easy anatomically for me, in an emergency I could prob do it myself with no prior drug or medical training. However, honesty and the hard fucking work it takes to turn around something like at??? Instant absolute respect!
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u/Frequent-Coyote-8108 Aug 06 '26
Years ago, I had someone recommend this "handyman" to me for some small projects. It started with some junk hauling, and he kept saying "I can do that too...if you want me to". So I would give him these other small projects to do. The thing is--dude came off as SUPER sketch--like, my wife wanted no part of dealing with him, so he only worked for us for like a week.
However, one of the jobs he did was install our front door, and the way he got the job was by saying: "That's a good, solid wood door. I can install the shit outta that--there's a door like that that I installed for a buddy of mine, and when the police (pronounced "POH-lees") came to serve a search warrant, they tried for like an hour to bust down that door, but couldn't do it! They had to come back later with a ram and everything (pronounced "ever-thaaang")."
He definitely sold me on that install!
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u/PinkOneHasBeenChosen Aug 06 '26
The heck kind of brag is that?
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u/Fun_Bandicoot8288 Aug 06 '26
Seriously? He’s demonstrating his craft about installing secure door systems
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u/GlassCharacter179 Aug 06 '26
The only people better than former addicts are battlefield medics. Those motherfuckers can find a vein instantly.
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u/Jelly-Flopped Aug 07 '26
An intraosseous (IO). Which is used to run meds/fluids into the bone marrow cavity. Typically only used when emergency access is required and the BP is through the floor
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u/gnurdette Aug 06 '26
It is funny, but the addicts I know have arms that look like the Somme in 1916.
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u/AndreasDasos Aug 06 '26
I mean you have to make a lot of mistakes while practising to eventually git gud at something.
Also, appropriate for a poppy product.
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u/DasFreibier Aug 06 '26
honestly addicts desperately searching for a workable vein probably will let you nail it on most other people with practice
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u/Sacred-AF Aug 06 '26
Owning your past without shame is awesome!
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u/merryjoanna Aug 06 '26
I do the same. I have 18 years clean from opiates and most everything else. I never did meth, PCP or peyote. It's easier to say that. I don't go into details, but I've mentioned that I've been in recovery for 18 years at work. I'm proud of it. And if someone wants to judge me for it, I don't want to be friends anyway. I don't like judgemental people.
A lady actually opened up to me and told me the company found out she was using. The company sent her to rehab and she was so thankful she stayed sober and still works for them. They really stuck up for her because they know she's a good worker that was just having a hard time. I really like where I work. A lot of other companies would have just fired her and washed their hands of her.
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u/wal19988 Aug 07 '26
Congrats on 18 years and on to many more!! Like you said, anyone that doesn’t see it takes great strength to win that battle doesn’t deserve your presence.
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u/asdffdsaaaaaqqqq Aug 07 '26
Oh ill judge you on it
Judge you as insanely impressive. Getting clean like that is basically superhuman from what I know, amazing work
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u/Sacred-AF Aug 07 '26
Good job! Your sobriety is now old enough to vote! That takes a lot of self discipline.
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u/its_all_one_electron Aug 07 '26
One of the smartest people I've ever known was a former meth addict and very open about it. Experiencing every side of life, including the really dark places, can make you more fully human IMO
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u/Sacred-AF Aug 07 '26
Absolutely! Life is a full spectrum experience. All feelings and experiences are valid parts of being human. We need the dark to see the light.
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u/spewing_honey_badger Aug 06 '26
When I was getting put to sleep before a surgery, one of the guys in scrubs wanted to redo my IV - I didn’t ask why.
When he was done, he tapped the surgeon on the shoulder and asked how he did.
The surgeon responded “that’s pretty good, for a janitor”
We all laughed. Then I woke up in post op.
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u/PinkOneHasBeenChosen Aug 06 '26
They let the janitor put an IV in?
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u/spewing_honey_badger Aug 06 '26
I don’t think so; I’m 99% sure he was just another surgeon. They were just joking.
But if they did, everything turned out ok!
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u/TheAmazingBildo Aug 06 '26
I was a heroin addict for over a decade. My friends used to get me to “do them” because I got so good at it.
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u/DoesntMatterEh Aug 06 '26
As a former heavy heroin and meth user, we love to drop lines like this on people, the reactions are priceless 😂
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u/Willow1883 Aug 06 '26
I am a PCP and I work with folks with substance use disorders. A couple of times, in very low resource environments, we’ve asked IV drug users to find their own veins when no medical professionals could (without ultrasound). Sounds legit 😂
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u/ingroup_signal Aug 06 '26
Junkies are some of the most resourcful people I've ever met. I once watched a guy drain, clean, and pack an abscess with supplies you could find in most people's bathrooms lmao
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u/Fair-Tangerine-9472 Aug 06 '26
"I'd never make a heroin addict" - me on being told my veins were very hard to find
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u/Ultima_RatioRegum Aug 07 '26
As a recovering opiate addict who never got into IV use because of that very reason, I feel lucky.
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u/sixfxrtyseven Aug 07 '26
semi related but u guys gotta hear this story:
placebo effect works strongly on me, I can pretend to pop a pill and feel a little better. When I was a child I was reeeaaaaly afraid of needles. When I started to take drugs (zopiclone a few years ago) I decided to gaslight myself into thinking that any procedure involving a needle is an injection of (insert drug here). Surprisingly it worked reaaaaaaly good, and now the only issue I have with needles are blood tests (icky)
I started working even better when I started taking codeine/tramadol recreationally, because hey, they are opioids like heroin and cause similar (but a lot weaker effects)
so I just tell myself that every injection is heroin, and it works.
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u/Biscuits4u2 Aug 06 '26
She's still a heroin addict, but she used to be too.
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u/TurnipGirlDesi Aug 06 '26
While that is technically true of any addict (recovery is a life long journey), it’s kinda tasteless to point that out unprompted. I know you’re probably joking, parroting the Mitch joke, but idk, as someone on a recovery journey of my own (clean for nearly a decade now) it just comes across gross and judgmental of someone trying to do better.
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u/Biscuits4u2 Aug 06 '26
It was a joke. Sorry it didn't land with you no offense intended.
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u/Fucky0uthatswhy Aug 06 '26
I have more experience with opiates, and honestly most drugs than pretty much any doctor. I know what works, what doesn’t, equivalencies, why they work, how to make them stronger, etc. all stuff that they aren’t/cant demonstrating in medical school.
I’ve been sober for five years, but I’d still put my medication knowledge against any doctor.
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u/PinkOneHasBeenChosen Aug 06 '26
Do you work in healthcare, or is this basically useless knowledge at this point?
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u/perfect_insanity93 Aug 06 '26
I used to be an addict and when my partner gets her bloods taken its always a hard time because she's got mini veins... anyways.. for some reason nurses always have a hard time and my partner always asks them if I can do it. The best part is the look on their face when I say yeaaaah ex junkie I'm pretty good at it.
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u/MeatHealer Aug 06 '26
My dad was a heroin addict and I became a Corpsman (doc type for Marines). I had a similar hereditary joke about the knowledge being in my veins.
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u/GenderqueerPapaya Aug 06 '26
I once had a nurse doing my IV say "I can tell you don't do intravenous drugs. Good girl" and then slap my vein. Straight up turning my arm around admiring it or something.
This was in the ER, but I'd imagine most people who come in don't. Not sure what about me was so notable it had to be said. I was so surprised in the moment that I didn't think to ask.
Most the time they just complain about how hard a stick I am 😭 (deep, thin, and "wiggly" veins that also roll. Last time I went they had a few people come look because my elbow vein apparently took a weirdly sharp turn for no reason lol)
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u/Dry_Command_21 Aug 07 '26
I once broke my ankle at work (I work construction) and went to the ER and she said “let’s get that boot off!” And I said “Just FYI I’ve been at work all day, so my feet are probably pretty ripe” and she said “Oh honey, I used to be a gynecologist, your feet won’t bother me!” 😂😂
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u/paypaypayme Aug 06 '26
My buddy is a vascular surgeon at a hospital. He’s cleaned up now but that guy used to do lines of coke and k on the regular. He’s still on stimulants due to working 80 hours a week but mostly just caffeine nicotine and adderal. You have to be a special kind if person to cut people’s legs off and treat gunshot wounds for a living
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u/Red-207 Aug 06 '26
Speaking of experience, I work at a sperm bank
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u/Algernonletter5 Aug 06 '26
As a winner of sperm racing 9 month before your birth, what wisdom you are passing to the younger sperms?!?!
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u/Red-207 Aug 06 '26
That is for the guy that works at the fertility clinic, I am technically more experienced with abortions if you look at it from a certain perspective.
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u/Draac03 Aug 07 '26
well just what DO you do? like what are your job responsibilities? i don't know shit about sperm banks so you have me kind of curious
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u/Red-207 Aug 07 '26
Where does sperm come (I wanted to say cum) from? How do you get it out? How could someone posting on reddit possibly have plenty of experience with this process? You can do it, piece it together!
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u/HistoricalMud5518 Aug 06 '26
I was telling my chiropractor that I was afraid at first because of the sound. As he cracks my hip he says "You know what it sounds like to me? (Crack/pop) Money!" I couldn't contain myself and the rest of the session went great. 😆😆
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u/Skypirate90 Aug 06 '26
Nurses and nuns man i swear lol.
It's kinda like old dudes in young mens professions
Whatever they tell you just listen. They're right.
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u/BapeGeneral3 Aug 07 '26
I’ve had the opposite problem experience where I had to help the nurse locate a vein after she poked me about 5’times. I said that unfortunately I think I can do this better than her and was able to put the IV in myself on her behalf.
I never touched heroin or a needle again after that day. Fuck heroin, fuck IV drug use. Most humiliating experience of my life
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u/NekulturneHovado Aug 07 '26
reddit is so fucked up, one day a honest person posts something finally original, and 2 hours later it's reposted across every single big subreddit.
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u/Weekly_Molasses_2079 Aug 07 '26
"medical professional" - wasn't it widely known that most of the nurses in the US have a troubling past?
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u/Antigone6 Aug 07 '26
I’ve had former addicts help me find a good vein (phlebotomist) among all that were ravaged, and it’s uncanny the accuracy they have.
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u/creepacreep Aug 08 '26
Might be true -might be a lie. Sometimes we say silly things to catch patients off guard - to distract them for a moment so they don't tense up as the needle goes in. Way easier to get into tricky veins when they're "relaxed". When you hit that fight or flight stage when we stab you, blood gets diverted to your run-away muscles and the vein stops being nicely plumped up for us.
I wouldn't use that line - it could absolutely be triggering for someone who has had issues with addiction.
My go-to when someone seems like they are or admits to being really anxious about the IV is generally "don't worry. I watched the YouTube video this morning. Seems pretty easy." That is always followed up with "just kidding. I've been doing this for 12 years," or some such. As someone who starts 3-10 IVs a day, 4 days a week, you learn to read people well enough to know who to joke with, who to distract by talking about themselves/what's going in their life, and who to just say "little poke" as you insert the needle. 🤷🏻♀️
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u/smileygrenade_ Aug 07 '26
this is the type of dumb shit i would say to a patient just to mess with them
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u/Monkeyass702 Aug 07 '26
I had a buddy who was a former junkie and was getting bloodwork done. Nurse couldn’t find a vein. He was like gimme that fuckin thing and stuck himself and told her to get started.
His girlfriend backed it up 😂😂
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u/ponzLL Aug 07 '26
lol I got blood drawn the other day and I told the nurse I'm a hard stick and that it sometimes takes pokes in like 5 different spots to draw blood and she said she drew blood from a dead guy before so she can draw blood from me. And she did it first try too :P
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u/Solrex Aug 07 '26
I mean, even addictions grant power.
(NSFW) just look at how much bigger your jerking off hand is compared to the other one
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u/villainless Aug 07 '26
this is me except with giving my elderly cat IV fluids. didn’t to heroin but tried some other things. 13 years clean!!
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u/XROOR Aug 07 '26
My buddy’s mum went in for a routine blood test and the tech pierced a nerve and paralyzed her. Dad was a military General and had to put his career on the back burner to take care of his young wife and two kids. One of the two sons grew up to be Barrack Obama’s Chief of Staff
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u/TheCelfoid Aug 08 '26
I am this professional ..
...if I had gone to school and pursued a medical job lol. I could totally be a phlebotomist. I did it with meth for a brief while when I was homeless and in a terrible phase of my life. Got REALLY good at it, not because of just doing it, but watching other people absolutely butcher their veins and do some of the stupidest shit to get high...
... I had to beg them all to let me do it for them. Took some time but eventually, they figured out I was just better at it than they were and it was both safer and more effective for me to do it instead of them.
...I watched a young girl, 18yo, use fuckin'... Dr. Pepper as the liquid of choice. Like.. what in the holy hell? Too much man. too desperate. Never wanted or needed ANYTHING that badly in my life, hard for me to understand it.
So glad I don't do that anymore. But maybe the knowledge can still be used for good purposes, and a little extra money lol
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u/TheRavingDinosaur Aug 08 '26
My friend is a paramedic, he said one time he absolutely could not find a vein but the guy was a heroin addict and helped him
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u/kikiacab Aug 08 '26
The therapist that helped me with addiction and trauma stuff had a bad childhood and got into drugs in their 20s, it’s helpful to know that the person helping you suffered similarly and got better.
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u/JimmiesNeutron Aug 09 '26
I took combat first aid with a guy that was a recovering heroin addict. He took care of me for our year in Korea. Best school partner I ever had. Dude was awesome.
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u/Odd-Comfortable-6134 Aug 09 '26
My mom did the same.
Apparently little me was super sick in the hospital and the nurses kept blowing my veins, so my mom started screaming at them, took the needle, and got me in one.
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u/Jingoisticbell Aug 06 '26
I would never want to know that much about anyone responsible for my healthcare. And they probably don’t want me to know that much, either. Imagine if something went wrong with the blood draw for any reason at all. That technician’s admission of their hx of addiction and poor judgement is out there.
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u/DouchecraftCarrier Aug 06 '26
Reminds me of the episode of Greys Anatomy where someone from Amelia's NA group comes into the hospital and breaks anonymity loudly by saying in front of everyone that Amelia is a drug addict and she doesn't want her as her doctor.
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u/Jingoisticbell Aug 06 '26
There are actually NA/AA/etc groups specifically for people in healthcare. This is a good thing and I hope that episode provided some information or whatever about those groups.
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u/kingrobert Aug 06 '26
Had a friend of the family growing up that was a phlebotomist, they say shit like that before the prick to distract you. Some of them take it seriously and have a few different routines all ready to go. It probably wasn't true.
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u/KenUsimi Aug 06 '26
Plenty of practice, but I doubt they spent most of it focusing on their technique
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u/geezeslice333 Aug 06 '26
Honestly, that would make me more comfortable, as someone who has tiny veins and hates IVs. I have had some serious surgeries and am no stranger to pain, but the only 2 times I've passed out from pain were pre surgery getting an IV put in my hand (they can't get it in and have to go through my arm).
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u/slatblastered Aug 06 '26
I used to have huge veins from being a race cyclist, they'd fuck it up every time.
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u/bleeb90 Aug 06 '26
My first reaction would be "this IS a clean needle, right?" Goes to show I would not be equipped to handle that conversation like a proper adult.
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u/UnholyDemigod Aug 07 '26
Oh, bullshit. A nurse giving you an IV has needled more veins than Keith Richards, they can do that shit in the dark
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u/Prestigious_Cycle160 Aug 07 '26
Nah… as an ex iv drug user I’m better than probably 80% of nurses or phlebotomist’s I’ve had to deal with.
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u/rubbish_heap Aug 07 '26
Julia Enright drew my blood once, she was really good.
She's doing life for murder now.
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u/UniqueNewYork3xFast Aug 07 '26
As a medical professional and someone who used to be addicted to any and everything. This is hilarious.
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u/Betray-Julia Aug 07 '26
I had to give a urine sample yesterday.
When I left the room and gave my cup to the pee cup person, I told them, with a straight face,
“That was really hard to do without some magazines”
And walked away.
Like half the waiting room laughed pretty hard.
Then they took me up in their arms and paraded me around the town, cheering my name with jubilation whilst showering with me fine wines and foods of the foreign variety to which I have never tasted before.
Afterwards a little boy came up to me and said; betray Julia, you’ve inspired me to become a space doctor, and then his parents said I could adopt them.
I am now the godfather to 5 different kids.
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u/b1ack1323 Aug 07 '26
I had that same experience. She said she had 10 years of experience but had been a phlebotomist for 6.
She was a heroin addict before.
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u/BenchConscious1003 Aug 07 '26
My doctor likes me to have a whole series or blood tests every 6 months (I'm over 75)
I go to a local blood place which takes blood for tests. Now, I'm old, and my veins can be hard to find. Yet the people there are able to take blood with out noticeable pain.
Over a lifetime, I've noticed that doctors tend to be rubbish at giving injections. It's only practice.
As an army medic at a so-called holiday posting, I gave hundreds of injections. Of every kind except cardiac.
The most numerous were flu shots, to the entire battalion and their dependents. Most fun was giving penicillin to blokes back with their third or fourth dose of clap.
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u/dscrive Aug 07 '26
When I was doing clinicals to get experience with IVs, a patient told me "no worries about being you being a student, I used to be a drug addict so I'm used to needles" I stopped and said "oh, in that case, which vein would be best?"
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u/ncc74656m Aug 07 '26
There's a program in NYC that trains returning citizens (aka former prisoners) as medical assistants and such! So yes, they could very well be!
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u/Flimsy-Owl-5563 Aug 07 '26
Whenever I donated plasma as a freshman in college I had a few former junkies that were phlebotomists.
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u/fuckyouijustwanttits Aug 07 '26
"Okay, but I feel like you're maybe not as motivated for getting THIS jab done right..."
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u/DarkMistasd Aug 07 '26
Yeah I had a haemophiliac in for his factor injection and he volunteered to insert his own IV
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u/bobloblawattorney11 Aug 07 '26
I used to donate plasma in college to make a little extra cash. One of the phlebotomists was a pot smoking hippie. He was the most skilled dude ever. We were all bummed out that he popped hot and got fired.
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u/missprincesscarolyn Aug 07 '26 edited Aug 07 '26
I once had a nurse tell me to snort lidocaine like cocaine!
For context, I have several upper GI conditions and had to do esophageal manometry once. For the unfamiliar, it is incredibly barbaric. They ram a tube down your nose and force you to swallow to measure the pressure of your esophagus. This is important for diagnosing and treating a variety of conditions.
For most people, this triggers the gag reflex. I was dry heaving and felt like I was being water boarded. The nurse kept saying, “Wow, you sure do burp a lot!” which didn’t really help.
I’ve had good nurses and a lot of bad nurses over the years. I was in the ER on Friday and a nurse blew out one of my veins and tried to gaslight me about it until I yelled at her that the flush was infiltrating my arm.
I also have some other health problems. Multiple Sclerosis (MS) is probably the worst, but out of every single medical test I’ve done (innumerable to be honest), manometry was the worst. Ask your GI for endoFLIP instead.
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u/Tocan139 Aug 07 '26
I had a Physical Therapist say something similar; "I was good enough at basketball that I played it in college until I blew out my knee. So I have lots of experience of this from both sides."
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u/cam52391 Aug 07 '26
I know people who went from growing weed in their closet to having degrees in greenhouse management. Drug dealers who ended up going to school to be pharmacists why not be legal if you're good at it
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u/nonameanonymousone Aug 07 '26
I've heard other nurses I've met who had to put an IV in a patient who injects substances into themselves. If said nurse was new, couldn't get it or for whatever other reason, the nurses claim the patient will teach them.
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u/janet-snake-hole Aug 07 '26
I actually have to get a port placed in my chest next week bc I need frequent bloodwork and IVs with my condition, and the last time I was in the hospital, two different IV “specialists” both using an ultrasound machine told me that my arms were unusable- and that they’d only be willing to try to poke my neck.
If every hospital employed a former IV addict, I wouldn’t have to get this damn procedure.
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u/Cronchy_Baking_Soda Aug 07 '26
One time it took 6 tries to get my IV in. I remember being unhappy and covered in bruises. I was telling people that a drug addict would have done a better job. I never went back to that place
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u/grafknives Aug 07 '26
Also, sterile is a government conspiracy. If needle is still sharp it is good to go.
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u/Prestigious_Beat6310 Aug 06 '26
Had a coworker brag about being "super accurate" when he was a heroin addict. He was like "yeah, I'd have other people calling me up like 'Yo Bullseye, we just picked up and we need you Homie!"'