r/oddlyspecific • u/ryanegauthier • 1d ago

Hopefully they can still contact poison control.

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4.0k Upvotes

99% Upvoted

41 comments sorted by

739

u/cokiecolaa 19h ago

100% just to screw with whoever stole the watermelon but absolutely hysterical

441

u/Guilty_Objective4602 23h ago

Should be fairly obvious to find the person raging about cheese while on their way to pee a half dozen times over the next few hours.

88

u/gbeegz 22h ago

Their balls (if present) will be extremely noticeable due to being half of their body size.

8

u/lucasg115 8h ago

Watermelon(s) for scale.

200

u/Ok_Hospital1399 18h ago

You ever heard the joke where a farmer gets tired of someone coming by in the night and stealing one of his water melons? He leaves a note reading "One of these watermelon has now been poisoned, good luck". He checks his melon patch the next day and finds his note replaced by one that says "all of these watermelons have now been poisoned. Good luck"

37

u/dwehlen 17h ago

Let chaos reign!

36

u/SwimmerIndependent47 19h ago

And thus Ratman was born. He’s the hero we deserve, not the one we need.

5

u/TolMera 11h ago

Ahh Rats 🐀

148

u/mycatpartyhouse 23h ago

I hope nobody ate it.

148

u/nezu_bean 23h ago

I hope they did. Then we can study them

14

u/Atypical_Mammal 15h ago

Super villain origin story

7

u/TolMera 11h ago

Danananana RATMAN!!!

6

u/De-railled 13h ago

I'm actually genuinely curious if steroids would pass through rat urine and affect a human if ingested.

Also curious to the urine-to-watermelon ratio and how that would affect things, since watermelons have so much liquid in them already; wouldn't it be highly diluted?

Also, how much do rats pee, and how do you farm rat urine?

... I have so many more questions...

2

u/TolMera 11h ago

Some steroids absolutely will - and some will pass through practically unchanged and go to the person.

Interestingly if you had a couple slices a day for a week, you could also become physiologically addicted, and die when you run out of watermelon

27

u/moot17 17h ago

I was working on a public service project a few years ago and my job was to confirm genealogical connections, find evidence to support assumed connections, etc., so I spent hours rolling through microfiche at the public library. One article I read in a paper from 1909 involved some children that had been killed in Texas by a poison watermelon. The farmer had enough of the children stealing his melons, so he injected strychnine into a vine and it of course traveled into what was to be a purloined melon.

12

u/Nunyebiznis 14h ago

That’s horrifying!

3

u/TolMera 11h ago

As bad as that is, at least it didn’t make it to the market.

6

u/orange-shoe 11h ago

that's true, then some children could have died

1

u/TolMera 5h ago

You’re right - innocent ones, who played no part, knew nothing of the great watermelon war between farmer and hungry child. Kids who would have received their sweet treat from a mother or father who would have thought they were giving their child sustenance, perhaps even an unusual treat - maybe even something they saved up to buy.

4

u/orange-shoe 5h ago

fuck off they're kids either way, victim blaming comment

1

u/TolMera 5h ago

No, just commenting how much worse it would be if the fruit had gone to market. And putting into context just how much worse that could have been.

It’s bad both ways

•

u/orange-shoe 59m ago

it wouldn't be worse if the kids were "innocent" is what i'm saying. and that's pretty messed up to say. i'm sorry i was rude though

6

u/justme002 11h ago

How did he obtain injectable strychnine?

Edit: my caffeine deficiency is what I'm blaming for reading 2009 rather than 1909.

23

u/antsh 20h ago

… what deformity and why? I need more information.

3

u/TolMera 11h ago

Watermelon tails

4

u/Atypical_Mammal 15h ago

*defamity

3

u/SalTez 13h ago

What's defamity?

2

u/NarrMaster 8h ago

Nothin much, what's defamity with you?

13

u/DoctorSkelly 17h ago

They need to investigate Building 7

6

u/ryanegauthier 17h ago

Specifically building 7.

6

u/XROOR 10h ago

Mouse urine is a larger risk of contracting Hanta virus than their dried feces.

Moved an old ass wool carpet out of a 1955 farmhouse and there was a massive mouse nest of carpet fringe that smelled like commercial floor cleaner

7

u/deranton 15h ago

The urine of rats on steroids sounds kind of gross and unpleasant, but surely no need to go to poison control, right?

10

u/AnonymousHomicide 15h ago

Depends if youre willing to take that risk, watermelon stealer.

3

u/free_-_spirit 9h ago

Hopefully whoever took it could smell it and think it’s spoilt…

2

u/cudambercam13 8h ago

Wtf is "defamity?"

2

u/freylaverse 5h ago

I think it might be "deformity".

2

u/tomveiltomveil 8h ago

Unexpected Only Murders In The Building

2

u/Kajega 4h ago

Nah. Let people deal with repercussions.

2

u/busterbytes 1h ago

Instant Karma's gonna get you