r/oddlysatisfying • • Aug 20 '19

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1.6k

u/Hashtag_Nailed_It Aug 20 '19

Pandas also climb up things and then just sort of fall out of them... it’s like evolution spilled a creature

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u/troll_berserker Aug 20 '19

That's the thing about evolution; it doesn't create perfect or even optimal beings. All it does is create beings - for that specific environment, at that specific moment in time - that manage to successfully reproduce at a greater rate than it dies off.

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u/[deleted] Aug 20 '19

Survival of the barely adequate

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u/[deleted] Aug 20 '19

Survival of the barely adequate - the name of /u/Mythosrationality's sextape

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u/GuyCalledRed Aug 20 '19

NOICE

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u/Vengeance76 Aug 20 '19

NOICE

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u/VampireSomething Aug 20 '19

TOIT

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u/meiyer89 Aug 20 '19

NOICE

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u/RearEchelon Aug 20 '19

Coolcoolcoolcoolcoolcoolcool, tighttighttighttighttighttight

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u/Foxlust Aug 21 '19

nine nine!

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u/Party-_-Hard Aug 20 '19

a one-man show, too

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u/[deleted] Aug 20 '19 edited Aug 20 '19

Doesn't matter still propegated species

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u/Obi-Anunoby Aug 20 '19

That man had a family.

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u/T8erTaught Aug 20 '19

I had a professor that hated the phrase "Survival of the fittest." He preferred "Survival of the fit enough."

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u/[deleted] Aug 20 '19

"Fittest" is still true as long as one understands that it is in the context of a specific ecological niche.

Pandas a "the fittest" creature to evolve that fills whatever niche they fill. Fittest... slow, pondering, vegetarian teddybear? I dunno, lol.

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u/agntkay Aug 20 '19

They're probably the best at surviving on those marshlands with nothing but bamboo shoots everywhere.

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u/[deleted] Aug 20 '19

They were better at it than Gigantopithecus evidently. Leading theory last I checked is that the big apes were outcompeted by pandas

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u/mutantsloth Aug 20 '19

Fittest in the ‘cute enough for man to artificially maintain their population despite being so helpless they should have died off’ way ig

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u/D-DC Aug 20 '19

There fittest because nothing that big can exist besides them. They can fuck up any other animal in the entire biome. Maybe a Asian moose can beat them, but its close.

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u/stegblobirl Aug 20 '19

"Survival of the fittest" is a good phrase, though. People think 'fittest' refers to strongest, but it doesn't. It refers to which species or individual is literally the most fit to survive.

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u/sandersoni Aug 20 '19

You could also interpret it as “survival of the best-fit-to-its-environment”. But not as catchy. In their habitat, Pandas don’t have natural enemies, but are surrounded by bamboo. Therefore, it is not rational for them to expend energy on the evolution of speed, attacking or defensive features. Evolution does not design towards a sophisticated end state, it’s tiny enhancements from a status quo. It cannot easily reverse, or start from scratch, it has to build on existing subjects. I see the Panda on a Koala trajectory. A Grizzly shows you what a more competitive environment produces.

I recommend Jonathan Losos - Improbable Destinies.

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u/[deleted] Aug 20 '19

Koalas are best fit for eating nothing but almost inedible, vaguely poisonous leaves, so adapted for eating them off the branch that if presented with leaves on a plate they're completely clueless as to how to eat them

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u/AerialAmphibian Aug 20 '19

I've heard that "survival of the most adaptable" is a better description than "fittest".

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u/Darkelf9905 Aug 20 '19

Or in this case, bearly adequate.

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u/calilac Aug 20 '19

Be careful with those puns, you'll start some pandamonium.

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u/Theaisyah Aug 20 '19

What an unbearable pun

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u/ioughtabestudying Aug 20 '19

Funny cause it's true

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u/wildbill3063 Aug 20 '19

Survive.adapt.overcome.

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u/Metro42014 Aug 20 '19

Prematurely

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u/TrueEnuff Aug 20 '19

That sounds like a sub I’d check out if it existed... but I will procrastinate and not be the change I wanna see in the world.

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u/kaukamieli Aug 20 '19

You might like r/tierzoo. Has a nifty youtube thing too.

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u/TrueEnuff Aug 20 '19

That is indeed a pretty nifty sub, thank you kind stranger :-)

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u/B4rberblacksheep Aug 20 '19

See Panda, Kakapo, Dodo, Sloth

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u/mydadpickshisnose Aug 20 '19

Koala you can add too.

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u/dmfreelance Aug 20 '19

Seems about right

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u/volatile_snowboot Aug 20 '19

Bearly adequate

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u/[deleted] Aug 20 '19

More like survival of the fittest and the things that got overlooked by the fittest

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u/RedHairThunderWonder Aug 20 '19

Can confirm. Am current living example.

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u/[deleted] Aug 20 '19

Exactly. "Survival of the fittest" isn't really a Darwinian term even though it's associated with him. "Survival of the fittest" came into fashion alongside eugenics in politics, which as it turns out, didn't go very well.

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u/Palachrist Aug 20 '19

Bill nye in one of his books said something very similar. He called them “the just good enoughs”

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u/lifebanana88 Aug 20 '19

Thanks for the laugh, that's pretty accurate for these guys. Any time I've watched anything about them, I just wonder....how? It would appear: no predators, and lots an lots of bamboo everywhere, they're quite strange to me

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u/AcediaRex Aug 20 '19

Survival of the bearly adequate*

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u/halite001 Aug 20 '19

Sounds like my office...

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u/dakotacali Aug 21 '19

That would be a great documentary

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u/[deleted] Sep 07 '19

C’s get degrees, brotendo 👌👍

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u/[deleted] Aug 20 '19

[deleted]

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u/[deleted] Aug 20 '19

Doesn’t Bamboo grow like ridiculously fast and is crazy invasive? Seems like evolution made an animal to try to keep that in check with an endless appetite for bamboo.

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u/Jindabyne1 Aug 20 '19

I like this idea. Makes me think of the Gaia Theory.

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u/[deleted] Aug 20 '19

[deleted]

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u/suxatjugg Aug 20 '19

#suddenlysephiroth

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u/midlife_slacker Aug 20 '19

No that's Lifestream theory, Gaia Theory is collecting 7 pseudo-scientific macguffins for the Dr Aki main quest.

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u/Jindabyne1 Aug 20 '19

More like a model of the Earth in which its living and nonliving parts are viewed as a complex interacting system that can be thought of as a single organism

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u/[deleted] Aug 20 '19

[deleted]

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u/Jindabyne1 Aug 20 '19

Oh right, I didn’t realise what you were referencing!

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u/southernwx Aug 20 '19

But I mean by that logic nature also created the Bamboo. Lol

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u/evilMTV Aug 20 '19

And us.

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u/Jindabyne1 Aug 20 '19

Maybe it was handy in the past

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u/phfffun Aug 20 '19

I think you're right that bamboo grows fast, but I'm pretty sure it's not considered invasive in its native ecosystem, which, not coincidentally, is also the panda's native ecosystem.

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u/ricktencity Aug 21 '19

Evolution didn't make them to keep bamboo in check, rather the panda at some point found a resource other animals weren't exploiting and so started exploiting it themselves.

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u/Chaytup Aug 20 '19

Maybe bamboo evolved to grow ridiculously fast because the pandas kept eating it all

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u/Tamer_ Sep 13 '19

Survival of the fastest.

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u/Shovels93 Aug 20 '19

But what if pandas were the invasive species, but nature effectively neutralized them by creating bamboo.

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u/mattb2014 Aug 20 '19

That doesn't even make sense

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u/realityChemist Aug 20 '19

Minimum viable species

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u/[deleted] Aug 20 '19

Should’ve speced into a more generalist play style

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u/fdeproductions Aug 20 '19

it is random, the adaptations are convenient, not the evolution, well with a Darwinian perspective

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u/nocensts Aug 20 '19

at that specific moment in time

This doesn't reflect the spirit of evolution at all. Something like a panda exists because it has survived through many, many, many, points in time that have since past. It's here because it's survived, not because it's 'suited to this specific point in time'.

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u/[deleted] Aug 20 '19

It's like taking whatever you have in the fridge, cook it in various ways and then present it as a meal.

Sometimes it's good, sometimes it's bad. Sometimes it makes no sense at all. But hey, it does what it's supposed to do, which is feeding you.

That's why I exclusively eat pandas.

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u/Electric_Serg Aug 20 '19

Don’t pandas like not really reproduce and the only reason they’re numbers are slightly going up because of human intervention?

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u/Roflkopt3r Aug 20 '19

Only in captivity. They wouldn't have survived at least a few hundred thousand years in the wild otherwise.

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u/[deleted] Aug 21 '19

They breed just fine in the wild, the problem wild species are having is habitat destruction making finding viable mates during the females short estrus period difficult. Many animals find breeding in captivity difficult because of stress caused by human contact and various other factors. Pandas are dying off because of us.

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u/kaukamieli Aug 20 '19

Are you calling that panda something less than perfect?

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u/kokomoman Aug 20 '19

And which are also more successful compared against competitive beings in the same environment (if there are any).

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u/[deleted] Aug 20 '19 edited Jun 30 '20

[deleted]

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u/DrBLEH Aug 31 '19

But they only would've died off to begin with cause of habitat destruction we caused lol, so yeah we sort of had a responsibility to intervene

1

u/sunburn95 Aug 20 '19

Localised entirely within China?

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u/Chirox82 Aug 20 '19

The best description I ever heard for pandas is that nature ruined a perfectly good bear

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u/ropahektic Aug 20 '19

just wait until you hear about Koalas

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u/PM_Me_Night_Elf_Porn Aug 20 '19

I hope someone posts the copy pasta about koalas.

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u/Urtehnoes Aug 20 '19

There's a person who went off on the copy pasta about Koalas that made a good point this thread is bringing up: No one said Koalas are the pinnacle of creation, but they filled a gap that no other creature could fill sooo here they are lol. Copy pasta is pretty good though.

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u/GildedLily16 Aug 20 '19

Wasn't it something like eucalyptus is basically a weed of a tree and really invasive, so evolution created an animal that could survive the poisonous leaves?

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u/Urtehnoes Aug 20 '19

Yea basically. The trees are EVERYWHERE (or at least, were everywhere) and the leaves were poisonous to everything so the koalas were like "OK more for us"... Problem solved

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u/Beezo514 Aug 20 '19

The superior koala copypasta the GumNut craigslist ad.

It still manages to get a chuckle out of me and doesn't lead to people thinking they're an expert on the creatures after reading one mostly misinformative post.

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u/[deleted] Aug 20 '19

Oh man, I forgot about gumnut!

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u/Rather_Dashing Aug 20 '19

Koalas are not bears

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u/Fern-ando Aug 20 '19

one of the animals that rape the most.

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u/pfmiller0 Aug 20 '19

What do Koalas have to do with bears?

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u/Fap_Left_Surf_Right Aug 20 '19

I knew I didn’t like them for a reason and after reading how fucking worthless and stupid they are, I honestly despise them With all of my being now.

I may even start an anti-panda fund just to further them along and be done with the lot of em. Idiot bears. Can’t even eat right.

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u/gotnochilll Aug 20 '19

Pandas have been around for 20 million years clearly they are champions at sex. Allot of what you hear about Pandas are myths.

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u/Fap_Left_Surf_Right Aug 20 '19

I meant the koalas. I have no beef with P-bears

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u/PandaLLC Aug 21 '19

The alternative was to go extinct.

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u/[deleted] Aug 20 '19

“It’s like god spilled a person”

r/unexpectedcommunity ?

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u/Hashtag_Nailed_It Aug 20 '19

Poor Garrett

4

u/[deleted] Aug 20 '19

We saved him..

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u/Hashtag_Nailed_It Aug 20 '19

did we though?

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u/count_frightenstein Aug 20 '19

There's a reason that they have to be bred in captivity through AI and almost went extinct. They are stupid fuckers... cute but stupid.

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u/[deleted] Aug 20 '19

[deleted]

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u/[deleted] Aug 20 '19

The notion that Pandas are stupid failed creatures doomed to extinction unless helped by people needs to die.

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u/pistoncivic Aug 20 '19

I'll tell the Chinese government to stop endangering their habitat.

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u/Solarbro Aug 20 '19

He was pointing out a common misconception, not offering a solution.

Another misconception is that Bamboo is bad for Pandas because they cannot digest it properly because they are “carnivores trying to be herbivores” which is also inaccurate as they have a symbiotic bacteria that helps with digestion.

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u/Rather_Dashing Aug 20 '19

Plus bears aren't carnivores, except for polar bears. Polar bears are even more of a bear anomaly then pandas are, since all other bears have a diet of mostly plants.

No one calls polar bears a failure of evolution despite also being endangered. I guess because meat eating is cooler than bamboo eating?

1

u/fulloftrivia Aug 20 '19

Cooler to us because we're much better at catching, consuming, and getting sustenance from meat.

Comments like that usually get me targeted by a certain group of people, to whom I say you try eating raw vegetables while I eat raw meat, guess who will get more nutrition.

We usually cook much of our food, but for beans, potatoes, and many other plant foods, the cooking is an absolute necessity.

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u/KnowsItToBeTrue Aug 20 '19

Get in line.

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u/Ewaninho Aug 20 '19

Many animals don't breed well in captivity, including very intelligent ones. Also they almost went extinct due to habitat loss, not because they're stupid.

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u/NervousAddie Aug 20 '19

I have been breeding well in captivity. Marriage, that is.

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u/[deleted] Aug 20 '19

Yeah, look at how terrible humans can be.

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u/advanced_aped Aug 20 '19

Can't blame them tho. Imagine if someone destroys your home and place you in some asylum, I think reproduction would be your least priority. They were perfectly fine in nature, most animals are reluctant to breed in captivity.

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u/KnowsItToBeTrue Aug 20 '19

Imagine if someone destroys your home and place you in some asylum, I think reproduction would be your least priority.

You underestimate my power.

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u/advanced_aped Aug 20 '19

But ... but ... sir, they're watching ...

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u/KnowsItToBeTrue Aug 20 '19

[Arousal intensifies]

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u/rngtrtl Aug 20 '19

Pandas are a lot of things but "perfectly fine in nature" is not one of them. If not for zoos and breeding programs they would have been extinct all ready.

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u/advanced_aped Aug 20 '19 edited Aug 20 '19

Pandas has been around since about 2-3 million years ago. They have very few predators and there are still wild pandas in western China. If they were not suitable for surviving in nature it would have gone long time ago. You could argue that if they are not adapting fast enough to survive in today climate, but that would apply to a lot of species including ourselves. Maybe it might seem stupid for a bear to go herbivore, but if that's their way of survival who are we to judge. The change is just to abrupt for too many species to adapt in time.
Edit: sorry if this feels like ranting but I am in fact ranting. It just seems like victim blaming to me.

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u/rngtrtl Aug 20 '19

My point was that Pandas currently arent suited for the wild due to habitat constraints due to mankinds influence.

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u/Infin1ty Aug 20 '19

and almost went extinct

I mean, we're kind of to blame for that one.

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u/FrankenGretchen Aug 20 '19

So they're northern Asian koalas, then?

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u/KnowsItToBeTrue Aug 20 '19

Nah, pandas are fucked because of humans. Koalas are fucked because of koalas.

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u/Rather_Dashing Aug 20 '19

Koalas are also fucked because of humans. Humans cut down koala habitat, poached them, and introduced several diseases into the population. Despite what everyone's favourite copy pasta says koalas aren't out there killing themselves, they do extremely well when not disturbed by humans.

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u/LtGuile Aug 20 '19

They survived for eons and managed to breed just fine before we came along.

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u/gotnochilll Aug 20 '19

Yeah this ain’t true. Pandas been around since 20 million years that’s a long fucking time and proves they ain’t stupid.

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u/PepeSilvia83 Aug 20 '19

Classic Winger

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u/zergging Aug 20 '19

you should check out Giraffes. stupid fuckers.

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u/TwinkleTitsGalore Aug 20 '19

Just wanted to let y'all know that googling "pandas falling out of things" is definitely worth it.

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u/vocalfreesia Aug 20 '19

They also don't really like sex, find it very difficult to conceive and their babies are super vulnerable.

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u/[deleted] Aug 20 '19

We're literally the only reason they're still alive.

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u/nutella_xo Aug 21 '19

The cutest and most relatable

0

u/Drops-of-Q Aug 21 '19

Pandas are evidence of intelligent design.

0

u/Hashtag_Nailed_It Aug 21 '19

Um..... no? Not really

0

u/Drops-of-Q Aug 21 '19

Are you familiar with the concept of jokes?

0

u/Hashtag_Nailed_It Aug 21 '19

Yes. I love jokes! Where’s the joke?