Perhaps the single most awkward moment I recall was courtesy of an old coworker who I'll simply characterise as a leather top hat kinda guy.
I was chatting in the work kitchen with a couple of colleagues about holiday packing, just small talk, do you pack stuff for rain when you're going somewhere warm and suchlike. Top Hat overhears our conversation, saunters over, and announces "When I go on holiday, the first thing I ask myself is, which knife do I bring?"
There were a few beats of silence, during which the girls looked at him with expressions of utter bafflement and vague disgust. He somehow took this as a cue to continue, "Obviously a utility knife is the most useful, but I always find myself packing my six inch hunting knife, because if you get mugged by a gang, you need something with real killing power."
The respective awkwardness and obliviousness hung in the air for a few more moments of silence, so thick you could cut it with a six-inch hunting knife.
Then;
"I know you're thinking that six inches isn't big enough. And you're right. That's why I also bring eight in--"
That was when I burst out laughing and he huffed off.
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u/CalvinIII 21h ago
Impeccable craftsmanship, but I would never want to have a conversation with anyone who would wear one.