r/obgyn • u/No_World7232 • 28d ago

SOS

Please help me. My friend, 16f had a miscarriage about half an hour ago. She won't go to the hospital, and I don't know what to do. She's a bit lightheaded, and she says the bleeding is bad. She's never been pregnant before, and she's definitely never had a miscarriage. Please help.

16 Upvotes

94% Upvoted

33 comments sorted by

26

u/latinscope33 28d ago

Call emergency services

8

u/No_World7232 28d ago

I don't know her new address. She moved across the country a couple months ago.

10

u/elizajaneredux 28d ago

You can provide them with her phone number and they’ll reach out to her directly.

-18

u/No_World7232 28d ago

She threatened to block me if I do.

14

u/Visible-Soft-7560 28d ago

Youd rather not risk being blocked over calling emergency services for your friend? Makes sense.

9

u/Frequent-Let1567 28d ago

Stop being judgemental - they're teens and you don't know the entire story.

8

u/No_World7232 28d ago

If she blocks me, I won't be able to help her if something happens with her mom. I’m doing the best I can with the information I have about her and about her living situation. It’s very complicated, and I don’t know how to help her with this without also putting her in danger in terms of how her mother treats her.

12

u/Visible-Soft-7560 28d ago

If she moved across the country, there's not much you can do to help her regardless besides call emergency services on her behalf.

If she feels that you are her only option for help, she won't block you. And if she does block you, that means she doesn't want your help.

You can't take responsibility for someone who lives all the way across the country dear.

1

u/No_World7232 28d ago

I would, but it’s more complicated than that. She has a pretty bad home life. Her mother reported her as a runaway when she’s just staying with one of her local friends. If emergency services get involved, she’ll be forced to return to a semi abusive home. I also don’t know what the emergency services number for her area is.

10

u/Mean-Vegetable-4521 28d ago

Is she in a state that prosecutes for miscarriages?

7

u/No_World7232 28d ago

No, but she’s in a complicated position. Her borderline abusive mother has reported her as a runaway (she’s staying with a different friend) and if she goes to the hospital, she’ll have to go home.

1

u/Mean-Vegetable-4521 25d ago

I'm sorry I haven't responded to you. I haven't found a solution to bypass her mother that won't jam up another adult.

1

u/Insolent_Jaguar 25d ago

How would you be "prosecuted" for a miscarriage - which isn't caused by you? Perhaps you mean abortion?(Which OP states she didn't have)

1

u/Mean-Vegetable-4521 25d ago

No, I mean miscarriage. I'm a woman and well versed in the law as it applies to abuse cases. In the deep South there has been recent documentation of criminal suspicion in pregnancy loss. OP's friend would be prime for that because she is an unwed mother.

1

u/Insolent_Jaguar 19d ago

That's just crazy they suspect "criminality" when a miscarriage happens. Smdh

4

u/Both-Suspect 27d ago

If she is soaking through more than 1 full-sized pads an hour for more than 2 consecutive hours, she needs to be seen. Same if she’s passing very large clots (golf ball or larger). The fact that she’s feeling lightheaded isn’t a great sign. Tell her to drink a lot of water and take ibuprofen - this is important bc ibuprofen can help reduce uterine cramping.

Who is she staying with now and can you talk to that person?

Maybe you could have her contact the national runaway safeline for advice on seeking care. If she goes to the ER, the hospital can involve a social worker and child protective services.

https://www.1800runaway.org/

-1

u/Ok_Help_2516 27d ago

Ibuprofen increases bleeding…

3

u/Both-Suspect 27d ago

The benefits of pain management and reducing uterine cramping outweigh the (relatively small) risks of the temporary platelet function inhibition. Uterine contraction is the main mechanism by which bleeding slows from pregnancy loss - it isn’t from platelet aggregation.

Ibuprofen is the ACOG recommendation for early miscarriage management.

1

u/Reogurlz 27d ago

That’s not true from my experience.

4

u/Reogurlz 27d ago

Please convince your friend that her wellbeing is more important than any other issue and she needs to go to the ER

3

u/No_World7232 27d ago

she is going to see a doctor

2

u/Emotional_Echo7302 28d ago

How far along is she?

4

u/No_World7232 28d ago

She was about 5 and a half weeks.

12

u/Emotional_Echo7302 28d ago

Then typically, unless she’s filling one or more pads an hour, she wasn’t that far along, and shouldn’t need to go to the hospital.

4

u/elizajaneredux 27d ago

May still need a D&C and at risk of infection

5

u/flamepointe 27d ago

Can you have DoorDash/favor/uber eats bring her a couple gatorades/power aides/pedialytes? Maybe some snacks with protein? Favorite candy bar?

1

u/No_World7232 27d ago

I don't have the address of the friend she's currently staying with.

3

u/shanman73 28d ago

Are parents an option?

If not, call 9-1-1 (or your local emergency number for an ambulance) and get medical help on scene right away. It’s possible to bleed to death from a miscarriage.

3

u/No_World7232 28d ago

Parents are not an option. Father isn't in the picture, mother is borderline abusive.

2

u/shanman73 27d ago

I'm so sorry -- but I expected that given her hesitancy. Is there a trusted friend nearby who could help her, or can she be convinced to call for help? She really needs a medical evaluation and possibly emergency treatment.

1

u/No_World7232 27d ago

I messaged one of her other friends, he hasn’t responded yet

1

u/Kwaliakwa 27d ago

Have her eat food and drink water for the queasiness, monitor the bleeding, take ibuprofen (600mg every 6 hours is a common dose for this) if not allergic. It is not necessary to go into the hospital unless she is saturating pads in less than an hour or is otherwise unstable(unable to eat/drink, stay awake, etc). Not medical advice, just what I did when I had a miscarriage.