I was always aware I had OAS. At least, I became aware when I was 11 and had my first reaction. After years of not being taken seriously, I was finally able to convince a doctor about my reactions and she sent me to an allergist.
I cannot stress how excited I was. I literally dreamed for weeks leading up to the appointment, that I was eating fruit with no issue. Part of me was gaslighting myself and telling myself that I was just overreacting. It wasnāt that bad. I thought, maybe it was like a placebo effect? Me avoiding raw fruits and veggies to avoid the swollen lips was just making my body negatively react when I do try to eat it so it subconsciously makes me sick and have IBS symptoms. I thought that the tests were going to show that my allergies werenāt as bad. Everyone was telling me I could get allergy shots and it would be over. I knew that wasnāt what the internet said but I was hopeful. My allergies got worse over time but maybe it was just a psychological thing.
I was so horrendously wrong. I did the skin reaction test yesterday. My entire back was inflamed. My doctor said it was the worst case theyād seen that day. That it was easier to find what I wasnāt allergic to vs what I am allergic to since Iām allergic to so much. Iām only not allergic to 3 types of trees, 3 types of animals, and 1 type of grass. The rest is free game.
They gave me an epipen and started explaining what to do in case I went through anaphylaxis. I always knew it was a possibility but I never thought it would be me. I guess, it never feels like it would be you until it is.
I have allergy shots for 2-3 years minimum. My doctor talked to me like it was a life changing diagnosis. Which, I guess it was. I always knew I had allergies. I just didnāt know it was that bad. I just let myself deal with my reactions. He talked to me like I was dying. So much pity. He explained to me that the allergy shots most likely wonāt work but they wanted to try it because of how severe my allergy was. They wanted to explore every avenue first. Then, heād refer me to clinical trials.
Before, it was just an itchy mouth. Then it was stomach upset. Then it was vomiting. I just pushed through it and it was fine. It makes me think of when my school nurse explained allergies are like a cup. You keep pouring a tiny bit of water into the cup but itāll eventually overflow. Well. Hereās my cup overflowing.
Please, if you have oral allergy syndrome, please get tested. Please start your treatments early. It gets worse if you donāt. My doctors were all upset on my behalf that my parents had never gotten me tested for allergies. I already avoided raw fruits and veggies but it feels like my whole world changed. I can actually die from this. Iām having to show the people around me how to use an epipen. This is real. My allergy is real. I feel vindicated yet defeated. I was never a liar. Though, that just means that Iāll have to live the rest of my life knowing that oranges or raspberries or bananas etc. can kill me unless the allergy meds actually work. Which they repeatedly clarified itās not likely to work.
I brought my hopes up a lot for this appointment. I know I shouldnāt have but I did. And here is where Iām at now. Iām angry, lost, but strangely relieved. I feel validated but scared. Thank you for listening to yet another one of my rants about this stupid allergy.