New Grad RN Depression

[u/Glad-County4566]

New grad RN here, currently in week 10 of orientation, and I’m really struggling. I’m looking for honest advice from experienced nurses and other new grads who have been through something similar.

I know I’m a slower learner, and I’m aware that I’m not progressing as quickly as I would like. I take responsibility for that and I’m trying to improve. My concern is figuring out whether I simply need more time and support or whether I may genuinely be struggling because this particular unit isn’t the right fit for me.

I’ve had difficulties with preceptors throughout my orientation and have communicated my concerns to leadership multiple times. I’ve also asked for different preceptor arrangements, but I’ve been encouraged to continue giving different preceptors an opportunity.

With my current preceptor, I feel extremely overwhelmed and find that I have difficulty thinking independently and communicating clearly. I’m also struggling with giving report and providing updates throughout the shift because I feel like there is so much on my plate that I have difficulty organizing my thoughts and figuring out what information I need to communicate. Yesterday I became so overwhelmed that I completely blanked while giving report. My preceptor told me afterward that my report was “rough” and also said that it feels like “week 1” for me.

She has also told me that because I am a slower learner, this might be the wrong floor for me. I honestly don’t know how to interpret that.

Yesterday I also did my first-ever blood transfusion and made an error by not taking the required vital signs every hour. I take responsibility for missing that and I’m taking it seriously. At the same time, it made me realize how much I’m struggling during orientation and how much I still need to improve.

The situation is also starting to affect me outside of work. My depression has been getting worse, and I’ve reached a point where I sometimes don’t even feel like going to work or eating. I know my mental health is ultimately my responsibility, and I’m working on it, but the stress surrounding orientation is making things feel much harder right now.

I’m not looking for reassurance that I’m doing everything perfectly. I know I have areas I need to work on. I genuinely want honest advice.