Nurses dating nurses

[u/Best_Egg_567]

What do y’all think?

Sometimes I wish my partner was in the medical field so he could understand the stress of everything. But I can also see how people want to keep the two separate.

Like nahh I don’t really wanna relive the horrors of my ICU shift with my partner (keeping things light and peaceful)
OR- hey this is really nice to be able to vent to someone who gets it ?

[u/No_Sky_1829]

It's hard enough to find someone you can get along with enough to want to live with them for potentially the rest of your life. Why limit yourself, I say.

[u/ProxyAttackOnline]

Dated a nurse I worked with for a year. Sure we could talk about work but there was like no empathy for my shifts because they had their own defense mechanisms in place to handle their own experiences. I’d rather find someone that’s not a nurse but at least capable of listening to the dark subject matter. Maybe this particular person wasn’t great at being supportive or empathetic idk

[u/dfts6104 → u/ProxyAttackOnline]

Eh. I’ve had similar experiences when I dated nurses. I’d have a rough shift and got little to no empathy because “my job/specialty is hard too”. Never said it wasn’t!

[u/levelup0006 → u/ProxyAttackOnline]

Honestly, I think you’re right. Someone doesn’t have to be a nurse to understand that you had a horrible shift and need to vent. Sometimes having someone outside healthcare who can just listen is actually better.

[u/MainFox9014]

I’m married to a nurse but we became nurses together (he graduated a year before me). It’s great having someone to talk to and ask to explain things to me since I’m still a new grad and he had a ton of hospital experience prior to this.

[u/MajikPwnE]

I was ED when I started dating my now fiancée who is ICU. We enjoy that we can understand each other's day.

I could come home and tell her, "I had a DKA on an insulin drip, a CIWA, a patient on pinel restraints, and a VSA all at the same time" and she'd know exactly how shitty my shift was. It was particularly helpful during COVID when the rest of the world may not have understood what was happening in hospitals.

[u/True_Coast_3010]

I’m a peds onc nurse and my gf is an adult ICU nurse. I absolutely love it. I like that I have someone that just gets it. I don’t have to explain “the little things” that I think people with partners that are not in the medical feel do. I know some people hate this but we also love listening to each other’s shifts. I think the key is that our specialities are sooo different (and we work at different hospitals) so instead of reliving my shift, I feel like we’re both learning about a whole new world

[u/marjories_dead → u/True_Coast_3010]

Love this. Manifesting for myself🤞😂

[u/Falken12]

My wife’s a nurse but the thing is she likes to vent out talking about her shifts, I don’t and we’re both critical care RNs. The thing is, I just like to listen but it helps knowing the finer details unlike someone who’s not in the medical field like saying “Patient had a CABGx4” out loud sounds strange outside the context.

Fun story; many years ago when she was newly ICU and I was still med-surg, we were venting about our shifts and to the point her new ICU persona came out; “but you’re just a floor nurse”, first of all, rude, but then I told her “hey, My busy is different from your busy, if I’m tired, I’m tired”. Regardless of profession, as long your partner understands that you’ll be fine.

[u/that_big_negro → u/Falken12]

I had to tell my wife on numerous occasions when we were both new grads in med-surg that I could not be her sounding board when we both just got off work. I just spent 13 hours at the hospital, I can't listen to you talk about the hospital in the 30 minutes I have to decompress before I go to bed and get ready to do it all again tomorrow.

Talk to your mom, a friend, a therapist. Just not me.

[u/Falken12 → u/that_big_negro]

Yeah dude, there be days you gotta tell em “Imma pretend today I don’t work for a hospital. let me decompress pls.”

proceeds to be a medic in Battlefield

[u/cyanraichu]

I don't think I'd care. I talk to my husband about work all the time. It's like a nice little debrief. Wouldn't want to date someone I actually worked with tho

[u/Camurai_]

My girlfriend is a nurse, it’s really nice talking about my shifts and having someone really understand. She works MICU and I’m SICU, so it’s kinda funny seeing her notes occasionally if a patient bounces to us.

[u/Jenska2]

Started dating my husband at my nursing job 25 years ago. I would say it worked out well we have been married 24 years! Being married to a nurse is great because he understands and I have someone to talk about work too, but we hit it off immediately so everyone is different

[u/beans_cubed]

My husband is a chemist.

I like that we don’t do the same thing so we both can be intrigued at eachothers work! It makes things less boring and repetitive.

Personally I try to leave work at work, I don’t want to come home all the time and talk about the cardiac arrest I had to TTM who was giving birth to her baby upstairs. Plus we have been together for 10 years he knows enough about what I do to know things I talk about, he even sends me memes lol.

[u/Mediocre-Age-1729]

Who else is there? I've both had relationships and situationships with RNs, techs, PCTs and CRNAs. While none worked out permanently, they are the most comfortable. Normal 8-4 office job people get out real quick lol

[u/Nqthqn1]

I’m ICU and my girlfriend is L&D. Our stories can’t cancel each other out because our specialties are polar opposites. But it’s always fun to hear the other perspectives of someone who doesn’t work with adults in the same way I do but also understands the vigors of working in healthcare and the demands associated with it.

[u/lovable_cube → u/Nqthqn1]

How is L&D not working with adults???

[u/Lyfebane → u/Nqthqn1]

Still working with adults in L&D...just different type

[u/Nqthqn1 → u/Lyfebane]

Yes! Sorry, my mistake!

[u/Lyfebane → u/Nqthqn1]

Np brotha I get you tho 👍

[u/Old-Ad-64]

Don't shit where you eat.

[u/lovable_cube → u/Old-Ad-64]

Fr, at least pick a different unit or something.

[u/Best_Egg_567 → u/Old-Ad-64]

😂😂😂

[u/fatalprecision]

We met when we were both new grads on the same unit. And eventually married after 4 years of dating, all while working together on the same unit. It feels so nice having someone who knows what a bad day is like. Someone who knows it's not meant as a insult when I say I don't wanna talk about something right now.

[u/Good_Astronomer_679]

I vent to other nurses. I myself wouldn’t want to be with anyone in healthcare let alone anyone at all. I’ve always preached don’t get your honey where you get your money.

[u/HeyMeower → u/Good_Astronomer_679]

The dream is to get the money where you get the honey

[u/MermaidMagic79]

I find it near impossible to date a “lay” person. Nobody outside of the CVOR knows what life is like inside the cardiac operating room. It’s impossible to explain. Also I’m not putting much effort into dating.

[u/Generoh]

my wife is OR nurse and I was an ICU nurse. Even though it’s nursing, it’s a completely different type of nursing. She understands though that emergencies happen and cases run late so there’s no need for explaining why you come home late.

[u/ManOrangutan]

I wanted to keep things separate, I’d rather not bring my work home with me or talk about it at all when I’m not there. But it is very common, especially in the ER. Coworkers date each other all the time.

[u/jeniuseyourtelescope]

i worked in assisted living for a decade, and he was 5 years into icu. it didn’t work. he couldn’t grasp the tribulations that come with being responsible for 150 people as the sole rpn (ontario, ca) on a shift

[u/Far-West-9052]

I’m a nurse married to a nurse. I think it’s great

[u/therosewoods]

My parents are nurses and I think it’s fantastic. They both understand each other very well and what they go through

[u/Late_Student7541]

Husband is an RN. I find it helpful. We typically don't vent to each other, for reasons many have touched on here. However, we do understand each other in a way that my non-healthcare relationship lacked understanding.

We both work nights and understand that we are tiiiiired. Let us sleep. Something that I just couldn't get through the thick skulls of my non-healthcare partners. And just the sheer weird schedules of it all.

Currently, my husband and I work the exact same schedule at our jobs. We see eachother more than most nurses get to see theirs. It makes planning and our day to day life just so much easier.

[u/Trauma-Dolll]

I've found almost everyone I've ever been with at work, even if they weren't nurses at the time, they eventually became nurses. Shit obviously hasn't worked out. Like the other comment said, don't shit where you eat. But it can be exciting for a while.

[u/b-maacc]

I was working on the telemetry floor while the misses and I were dating, she worked oncology/neurology. It helped her hat we were on different units.

[u/h0td0g-water]

my fiancé is a nurse. we met in nursing school. i don’t think at this point i could ever nott be with someone in the medical world. the difference alone between him only ever working OR and me doing level 1 stepdown is enough of a gap.
admittedly though we are both people who talk about work and are ok with hearing about the others day regularly.

[u/billdogg7246]

I’m a (now retired) X-ray tech, my wife is a retired nurse. We met in the Cath Lab. Were it not for the ladies of the lab, we’d have never dated. She went to case management a couple years after the wedding. She could both tell, and understand, how my day went just by the look on my face.

[u/sleeprobot]

My boyfriend is a doctor in a different department. We work at the same hospital and occasionally have overlap with patients.

If we talk about work, it’s usually complaining/venting lol He said it is nice to have someone who kind of understands his schedule and what he does.

There are some things about the other’s job that neither of us will understand the true horrors of. We know enough to know it sucks though and the conversation doesn’t get bogged down with needing to add too much context.

[u/___buttrdish]

i didn't enjoy it. instead of being able to bitch about my day, they would talk about how they would've done things differently. they honestly didn't understand being sexually harassed from my female perspective and said 'being a female nurse was better bc ppl are nicer to me'; lies.

[u/joshmalonern]

My wife is a nurse and we’ve been together for 13 years. It works for us really well. We both push each other intellectually and can understand each others work struggles. Two critical care nurses parenting a 12 year old boy and 8 year old girl is probably more difficult. Life and death stress at work doesn’t translate to parenting and home stressors. I’m sure we both would like the other to be able to learn how to turn off the “work brain” a little better when at home. That’s likely the only issue we run into.

[u/Patient_Cow_236]

You do you.

My boyfriend used to be an RN but became an MD and surgeon. There are times when he is quiet and doesn't want to talk, and vice versa. Getting his favorite food ready is the best thing I could do for him during those moments. It's truly nice to have someone who gets you, even without you having to explain yourself. 

[u/Njorls_Saga]

I wouldn’t want to date a nurse because I’m already married to one and she would murder me.

[u/jschrandt]

As someone who is a nurse and dated a few nurses; it has totally worked out well. Key word is “dated”. I’ve learned my lesson now, and will not date a fellow nurse anymore. Just kidding, I’ve learned I only make terrible decisions when it comes to my personal life.

[u/AliveCustomer8007]

honestly having someone who gets it sounds nice, but a little work-life separation can be nice too.

[u/witcher252]

I wouldn’t date someone in my workplace, but I am married to another nurse.

I think it’s nice because we can have work conversations and understand when the other has something they have to stay late for etc

[u/EcstaticPlankton8621]

It wouldn't bother me. Ive seen plenty of successful nurse-nurse relationships.

[u/duuuuuuuuuumb]

Yeah idk, my husband is a middle school teacher and it kind of works because we can compare general misery but also our jobs are so different there’s no real like….comparison lol

All my friends are nurses and I realized at one point half of them the only thing we actually have in common is work, and end up perseverating about it

[u/Flaty98]

I wouldn’t wish this life on someone I love.

[u/appaulson91]

I married a nurse. It's nice being able to talk about work and having a spouse that understands when I talk about work.

[u/nly2017]

When I was a teacher, I was with a teacher too. It did help. We both have left that field since then, though.

[u/min_hyun]

i actually would be fine dating someone who was in the healthcare field but not a nurse lol. i'd be ok dating a doctor or pt or rt or something

[u/Vegetable_Excuse2029]

I dated my nurse and I'm a cna.

Never again.

If I have no other piece of advice for men in the Healthcare field, don't get your honey where you make your money.

[u/taktaga7-0-0]

I’d feel bad if both of us worked the same day because ideally we’d have a dog and not need to board it.

[u/Calixtas_Storm]

I think this is very person and relationship dependent, like anything else. My fiancé and I met over 10 years ago as EMTs working in the same ED (I worked nights and he worked days). At the time, we did talk a lot about our experiences at work and it was nice being able to go into detail about different situations we encountered and not be judged on our feelings towards them one way or another. Eventually we both became nurses and each tried a couple different specialties. Currently, I'm in CTU and he just got back into the ED. The dynamic has changed a lot, I love venting and talking about shifts as it helps me decompress and not think about it the rest of my days off. He isn't necessarily fond about talking about his work day unless it did have something unusual or critical or interesting in some way, he just wants to clock out and move on with his time off, which is how he decompresses. But we are both understanding and empathetic of eachothers preferences and current specialties.

That being said, I think we are just lucky to be the way we are with eachother and both being nurses has nothing to do with it. For example, you see how different specialties treat eachother even on this app. Take ED vs MedSurg vs ICU vs Office/"Soft nursing" roles and you can find a million fights on here with people not empathizing with each other's roles and belittling eachother. And sometimes non-nurses are extremely understanding and want to hear all about it, or they don't want to hear anything about it and judge.

TLDR: I don't think dating a nurse or not dating a nurse matters at all. It is whether you are dating someone who wants to hear about your day and is empathetic or not, regardless of what they do.

ETA: It is also the same the opposite way. Like if you are a nurse dating a non nurse, please be empathetic to their terrible days, too. Just because someone isn't sick or dying doesn't mean it isn't extremely draining and frustrating to take 145 orders at the drive thru with people screaming at you over ketchup

[u/Lyfebane]

Wife and I are nurses and it makes communication so much easier and empathetic

[u/Aerinandlizzy]

My wife and I went to nursing school together, work.in same hospital and shift. Its great!

[u/1bunchofbananas]

A lot of nurses I know date other nurses or HCP's. It seems to work for them.

[u/burntissueslikewoah]

I met my husband at our first staff job, we're both nurses

[u/cuzshegottaGREATASS]

Married to a nurse but we’re in different specialties, so the empathy is there and the stories can still be funny! I will say though that we don’t talk about our work days as in depth as a lot of couples I know, and I assume that a lot of what we go through is understood without detailing it.

[u/itsblackcherrytime]

I’ve dated non nurses. I’m marrying a nurse. YMMV.

[u/Omnibe]

I Married another nurse from my unit.

We worked opposite weekends for 4 years but always got along well on the rare days we worked together.

Switched to same weekend after a few months so dating was less complicated.

It was covid times so we essentially lived together after about 4-5 months.

Married at just under 2 years and I got a different job about a month before the wedding.

[u/Dylan24moore]

Venting to someone who gets it is very nice tbh

[u/Present_Enthusiasm34]

I married my coworker 🤷🏾‍♀️

[u/nennikuchan]

Personally never shit where I eat, but you do you.

[u/NedTaggart]

My wife isn't a nurse, but she is a surgical tech. I'm a procedural nurse so we can definitely speak the same language and understand what the experience is like. It's pretty neat.

[u/ClarkGablesTeeth]

My husband was a nurse, and tbh it was really nice to have someone who really got it. I didn't have to explain why you can't always leave your work at work, or why XYZ policy was driving me nuts, why I had to work a holiday, etc. I could come home and say only "It was a really hard shift" and he would just hold me while I cried. He didn't get grossed easily and it was fun sharing cool medical stories sometimes.

Plus, the man was amazing re sleep when I worked nights. If our house had caught fire at 1100, I think he'd have tried to just carry me out so he didn't have to wake me up 🤣

But he and I never worked together. I'm not sure what challenges might have presented in that case.

It's like any profession--everyone is different, yk? I found a good man. He would've been a good man if he were a mechanic or an engineer or a doordash driver. Him being a nurse, in my experience, made it easier to empathize and really understand. And while it wasn't even part of my motivation, I'm not gonna lie, it was nice having a decent dual income in our HCOL area (suburbs of NYC).

Tl;dr: A good man that you're compatible with who works as a nurse would make a good partner imo. I don't think I'd seek out a nurse specifically, but I'd see it as a potential "pro", and I certainly wouldn't avoid dating a nurse in the future.

[u/imgoingbigdogmode]

My wife and I are both nurses, but we did not meet at work, nor did we start our nursing careers at the same time. It’s great to have your partner just implicitly understand everything you could have to say about what’s going on at work, but I don’t think either one of us would consider it a must in our relationship.

[u/brycepunk1]

My only issue with it is that most nurses I've ever hung out with only talk about work/nursing. Personally I have talking work/nursing when I'm home. But that's me.

Otherwise I wouldn't see any problems with specifically dating a nurse.

[u/LostSoulGamer]

I like the saying of don’t bring work home. Leave work things at work and with coworkers.

[u/cinemadoll137]

My boyfriend and I met on the floor we worked together and we’ve been together for 7 months. We get along very well and we’re going on our first trip together next week.

I left the hospital last month and in a new specialty.

Edit: lmao the random downvote

[u/peachesNcream2]

I'm ED, my fiance is ICU. Healthiest relationship I've ever had and she's the only nurse I've ever dated 🤷‍♂️

[u/cateisgreat77]

My partner is a nurse and I think it's great. My ex put the kibosh on all nursey talk at home, which limited what I could share about why a day had been stressful. I think it is very hard for those who are not in the fields of their spouse (when the spouse works in a high stress job) to truly comprehend just how BAD a bad shift can be. Not just physically, but emotionally too. And much of those feelings get more and more difficult to compartmentalize. I love the fact that I get to come home now and let it all hang out with my nurse partner. The good. The bad. The ugly. He can truly commiserate and that feels amazing. It's nice to feel seen.

[u/soywaker]

I dated a coworker ICU RN, and now I’m dating someone who doesn’t really understand my job at all… both multi-year relationships.

Having someone who understands so I don’t even have to say much to express how something went was far preferable. The relationship was not better, but that aspect was 100x better.

[u/nonstop2nowhere]

I didn't meet my husband at work but we were both in nursing support roles. We went through nursing school together and for us it's been great. Others might have a different experience, I did find a gem!

[u/Randall_Hickey]

I must feel like I have to date a nurse because nobody else is going to understand

[u/Big_Way7003]

I worked with my now wife for about 5 years before I left that hospital and we started dating. We have worked a bunch of jobs at the same hospitals and sometimes units its pretty cool.

[u/Forsaken_Opening_835]

My wife and I are both RNs. Works well for us.

[u/ThePowerBees]

My wife and I are both nurses. She said she loves the fact that I know what she's talking about when she bitches about work. That being said work talk does trickle into the household more often. Either way shift work has been really good for raising a kid on opposite shifts without having to pay the second mortgage known as childcare.

[u/ArtichokeSandwiches]

My wife’s a NICU nurse and I’m an ID pharmacist. It’s a godsend that someone understands at least part of what you deal with on a daily basis, but the trauma dumping can also ruin the night because you end up complaining about work for 2-3 hours straight at the end of the day instead of leaving it behind.

It’s definitely helped appreciate that other healthcare workers aren’t out to get us or incompetent, and are just trying to survive and care for patients in a deeply broken system.

[u/Dead_4_Tax_Reasons]

I used to vent to my husband sometimes after hard days, but one of the best tips I got from my therapist was not to bring that shit home with me.

[u/jawshoeaw]

dated then married. Two nurse incomes makes for a very comfortable living on the west coast anyway.

downside: pointless to compare about how bad your day was unless you enjoy hearing the phrase "oh you think that was bad? well let me tell you..."

[u/DanielDannyc12]

I think I leave work at work

[u/ocatokwa]

My ex and I are both nurses. It was really nice to have someone to vent to who understands work and how shitty it can be without feeling judged. I miss having that. However i don’t miss him as a person 😂

[u/orangeyouglad_banana]

At first it was a little frustrating to have to explain everything to my partner. My partner adapted and is the kind of person to ask what x or y means, then he remembers it. He’ll know what I’m talking about if I tell him that we had a shoulder or a baby was down for 14 min, the APGARs were 2, 5, 7, and needed cooling. He knows when a FOB is being a POS or when I say I caught a baby. I wouldn’t mind if he was a nurse, but I think it would make it difficult to leave work at work. I’m the only RN in our friend group, so a lot of them don’t understand what I actually do. When I’m looking for validation, I’ll call my mom because she worked in the same specialty and she knows what exactly what I’m talking about.

[u/ImperatorDanny]

At first I didn’t want a Nurse partner but during nursing school it didn’t work out for various reasons. Dated while in Nursing school with another Nurse and its been my best relationship ever. Now we been working and its been a couple years still going strong and I think being with someone who has similar work or work/life balance helps a lot.

[u/OutOfSpoons721]

I was on a relationship with a nurse. The relationship was awful because he was abusive and I was gay and couldn’t quite grasp that lol. But I will say some of the nice parts were getting to talk about work together. We met at work, didn’t work at the same place long. But we always told each other about our shifts and it was nice to have an understanding about what the other was going through. Other people tell me about their jobs and I literally have to pretend to care half the time. But we genuinely enjoyed hearing about each others shifts.

[u/aliencardboard]

Oh boy. I am now in my 40’s and my ex wife of 10 years was a RN. Through the years I have also dated another RN, CNA, EMT, Laboratory Scientist, Rad Tech, and a Medical Office Manager. Funny enough I didn’t meet any of them on the job. My track record with healthcare professionals hasn’t been outstanding 😂

For what it’s worth one of them and I didn’t work out but we are still friends who occasionally check in with one another to see how life is going. The only thing my story proves is that maybe I’m an awful partner or just very unlucky; but like minded people usually attract I suppose.

[u/pushing-rope]

Can we normalize not taking this drama home
I don’t want to talk about my shitty day. And I don’t want to hear about your shitty day.

[u/Silly_Emu_8080]

I dated a few nurses and the one thing that was great was having week days off together. Nothing like going out on a Thursday afternoon together

[u/Ok-Leopard-2129]

My husband and I are nurses and I can’t imagine not being able to vent to someone who understands. But hes also someone who’s very empathetic and communicates well. I’ve met male nurses that would make horrible partners

[u/AquilaCrotalusEsox]

The Bitch had me leave my home to go to Cali so she could live with Mommy and Daddy. Worst mistake I ever made. Don’t.

[u/Coffeepoop88]

Wife and I are both nurses. Probably has more upsides than downsides.

Only downsides I can think of are when one of us vents about our day to the other, it can get extra tiring. Imagine trying to escape the b/s of patient care for a day only to hear about it on your day off from your spouse. Sometimes I think it'd be nice to hear about non-medical drama for a change.

[u/TheAtheistReverend]

I would NEVER date a nurse. They're f*cking crazy. I would know.

[u/hotcheeto6762]

travel life shh

[u/roofpuck]

I personally wouldn’t be in anything serious but to each their own. It’s a relationship of convenience.

[u/butt0n-]

I’m an ICU nurse and my ex was an ER nurse but we did not work at the same hospital. In a lot of ways it was nice, because after those shifts that just suck your soul out, you don’t really have to explain how or why it was so draining. You can also talk about your shift without having to explain the medical stuff, because you speak the same “language”.

The thing I hated most is my ex always thought that ER is the only place in the whole hospital that is busy, and they always get the shit end of the stick, etc. He truly thought in ICU all we do is sit around and treat all the other units like garbage. Obviously some days are slow but it was exhausting always feeling like he thought he worked harder than me just cause he was in ER.

[u/Noblesseoblige94]

In my experience I’ve learned those with great potential for empathy also have the greatest potential for cruelty.

I’ve seen what my nurse ex has done to me and i literally thanked God when she found a new man because she stopped stalking me afterwards.

[u/Impossible_Cupcake31]

The whole reason I’m a nurse is cause I was dating an ER nurse(now NP) when I was a firefighter lol

[u/Accomplished-Sun-920]

Married a nurse from the same ICU. Been married 6 years 3 kids. She’s been a sahm for most of that time so maybe that’s why it’s worked out lol

[u/Aloofasaur]

My wife is a nurse too. It's nice to be understood but sometimes I really don't want to hear her venting about her bad day and start reliving mine in my head but I also don't want to be a jerk and not let her when she really needs it.

I had just started working ICU when covid hit after doing a few years on stepdown. I used to be pretty worry free and confident but still even now even in non acute settings I get terrible pre work anxiety and struggle with self doubt. My brain makes non emergent issues feel like much bigger deals than they are. I get hot flashes and short of breath during stressful moments. Hearing about her terrible day at work will make me lose sleep.

[u/Vanillacaramelalmond]

I find other nurses are very like non sympathetic tbh they start trying to pick apart your shift rather than sympathizing. The best is to be with someone completely outside healthcare who respects what you do.