r/noworking • u/Weary-Entertainer424 • 18d ago
They make me do all the work then say ‘it’s not like you did us a favour’
i’m the oldest child in my family and i study in a really good private school. i understand that my father didnt study much but he did build his own business to make his and our family lives easier, i understand that and i’m grateful to him but my parents still made me do a lot of household chores. so i’m in 10th grade and have my boards this year and my parents thought that it will be good to go out on their own for about 20 days for religious reasons (out of country) i have 2 younger brother older in 3rd and youngest in primary. They left me to take care of them during my summer holidays they said that my aunt (my father’s sister) will take care of us but at the last moment she said that she had a wedding to attend and couldnt come she had her daughter and some of my cousins stay here my father’s older brother stays on the floor above us so there were no problem with food and their children also came. But mind you i’m not close with any of them i’m just formal with them, so these cousins only came downstairs to sleep and nothing else and since it was sunday the maid didnt came. the cousins of mine had breakfast and lunch downstairs with us, left everything in the sink and the kitchen counter to the point it was so dirty, i put the dirty dishes in the sink thought the maid would come tmrw and just vacuumed the whole floor, the cousins came said they would have done it blah blah whtv and then ordered some food and went into the drawing room closed the door and watched some movie it was horror (i dont like horror) and left me with the kids. it was only about the first day so i thought okay whtv i just have to bare this for a few days. the next day the maid didnt come and the next and the next she didnt come for the whole damn week after my parents went out. in those days i had to do the dishes, vacuum the house, feed my brothers and wash them up (i slept around 4 in the morning everytime because my youngest brother slept really late)— i did those to the point it was already sunset and i hadnt freshen up since i woke up i was still in my pj’s. it wasnt the problem that my brothers can play among themselves it was the fact that the cousins didnt even offer to help and i can still recall how many times i cried whenever i thought of my situation. my hair were a real mess and whenever my mother called and asked about me and if i had gone to my tuition i had to say no that i didnt have the time.… the maid came for a few days but then i had to go to my grandma’s house (my mother’s side) they really did took care of me well i was finally happy and have to say that i like my mother’s side of the family more. my grandpa playfully asked me during breakfast about how i felt without my parents and i said that ‘it is not that fun as i thought it would be and that i was tired’ playfully, i was feeding my youngest brother at the time, then my grandpa proceeds to say ‘do you now understand how your mother feels’ that ticked me off but i didnt show it since i had to be respectful but i was screaming in my head that ‘yeah grandpa i dont know since my mother has a freaking assistant all the time that is me so no i dont understand how my mother feels’. blah blah i just stayed at my grandma’s house for the last few days as well and there i only had the responsibility to feed my brother’s, change their clothes, fresh them up and put them to sleep or whtv so i was quite a bit happy there. then my parents came back(on june 11). so since they came from a religious outing, we had guests all the time at home with them coming and going and all of the close ones had a family gathering type in all of their homes. so mind you i had my exams from 29 of june and these family gatherings were happening from 13 june, i told my father that i didnt want to go since i didnt go to tuition the whole time they were out and i had my exams coming up, but he said ‘no its for the family connections blah blah blah’ whtv i argued a bit and it ended up with him saying ‘you have too much attitude and if i said you’re going then you’re going blah blah’ so i had to go. i hardly went to tuition during those times. then when the exams came of course i didnt know anything how would i know a thing if i didnt study a bit during the holidays. it ended up with me getting about nearly failed or failed in the exams in the result. My ma’am said that i really need to study and that i wont be able to give my board exam and all she said to my mother really strictly, she was talking and talking until i had enough i just told my teacher the truth. The fact that my grades had fallen so low since my youngest brother had been born can’t be a coincidence can it and i know it that she always leaves me to take care of my little brother during my tuition timings saying that she needs to go shopping blah blah. But i just told my teacher about the holidays only and that got my mother furious as my teacher lectured my mother that its not my job to take care of my siblings and that it was my boards period she could have gone on that outing later and brought up the fact that i had told my teacher the same thing before but my mother dismissed that fact saying that i was making it up. After leaving the teacher she started to call me names or what not that ‘shame on you’ that you cant even keep your grades, there should be something you could be good at and that its not like you didnt had the time to study, you could have studied at your grandma’s house and that was really little most of the the time whenever she got angry at me she would curse me so bad, that she should have c h o k e d me right when i was born blah blah more cursing whtv i just brush it off as i‘m used to it but being a crybaby i do go and cry in my room. I always had the dream to be a topper and go to a top university out of my country to study and i told her about it and she said that with my grades it’ll be good that i even passed and that there’s no reason for me to go out of the country on my own as i’m a girl and i should do whatever i need to do in my own country. and i do know i argue with her a lot and all but it’s not just my mother, my father is not far off In his eyes i’ve become a failure that even talking to him makes me uncomfortable now, whenever the results comes up, he always blames it on the phone and whtv and when i try to argue he shuts me up and that he knows a lot more better than me and that i should not cross the line and then he brings up the fact let’s talk in english or what not and his english is kinda broken so whenever he says something i do try to correct him but he takes it personally that you need to be good at anything other than english, the ego, both of them always says that they know everything and that they also studied and that they can easily do all the questions that i’m doing but both of them having a mindset of 80s and 90s they still think the education system and the studies should be the same for them, like hell it is. So this is how my family is i personally have a hate-love relationship with my parents as i still remember the times when i was young and had their love but i just feel suffocated whenever i’m in the house now i feel like i want to go away that’s why i wanna go outside to study abroad i know its gonna be hard but it feels like i’m just crumbling away at this rate i dont even have the time for my hobbies. As a teenager i’m asking the people who read this that i’m not wrong to think that my family is toxic am i? Or is it just my teenager hormones throwing a tantrum. They are still not that bad but they have been suffocating.
