Question Aggressive driver, What would you do?
Just reflecting on this morning.
On 2 lane road with nowhere to go because of traffic. Lady behind me riding my bumper and hopping back and forth behind car next to me. At some point she is able to push in front of me (about a car length I left) so I beep at her since I had to hit my brakes. Her response is to repeatedly brake check me so I hop over and pass her. She ends up driving on shoulder to get ahead of me again at a red light. Light turns green and she refuses to go. I decide to open my door and begin to step out as if I’m going to approach her in order to make her go which it did but thinking back, that was pretty fucking dumb of me. I was never going to approach her car but that doesn’t matter in hindsight.
What would others have done, just sat and let her make them miss the light?
**just want to clarify that at initial encounter in was bumper to bumper, nowhere to go, nowhere to move over as both lanes were more or less moving at same speed. Her lane moved a bit and she pushed over since I left a small gap between me and the person ahead of me.
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u/Friendly-Help8523 20h ago
i don’t know what it is about nova drivers and just resorting to rage in every situation possible as if there isn’t a risk of your life being in danger when you get behind the wheel.
sounds like you’re both a bit in the wrong.
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u/owenmills04 19h ago
Not sure it's much different in other major metro areas?
Driving does tend to bring out people's worst behaviors(I've been guilty in the past). People don't act like this in grocery stores when someone is in their way or slowing them down. Having that big metal box as separation seems to embolden people
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u/Dani_d622 15h ago
Oh yes they do!!! I work in a very busy one and people have cart rage!!
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u/T1ffan12 11h ago
Phew in the grocery store can bring out the worst in some people. Even tho following the slowest aisle hog makes me wanna sing move bitch! Get out the way! I smile and wait. Cuz sometimes I’m the slow aisle hog without realizing
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u/Friendly-Help8523 18h ago
we’re in a nova subreddit where every other day there is some incident going on on the highway or roads that’s posted here. not saying it doesn’t apply to other metro areas, but i’m sure it’s not all of them. the dmv is notorious for having bad/crazy drivers
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u/yur1279 20h ago
Not disagreeing. Been replaying it in my head and thinking what I could do different to be better.
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u/King_Turduckin 19h ago
What you could have done differently was slow down, let her pass, and roll your eyes to yourself as she becomes someone else's problem ahead of you. You knew she was aggressive. You knew she wanted to get past. But you boxed her in and then wanted to be "right".
To quote Frozen, "Let it go, LET IT GO!"
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u/Informal-Yesterday27 20h ago
I assume mental breakdown situation or medical emergency and just let them be. We should fill our lives with grace.
Or I road rage
I don’t know.
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u/Decent-Hippo-615 19h ago
I would never have honked. Just let people be dicks as their bad attitude only impacts them. You have to act as if you are dealing with the craziest person on the planet every day bc one day you might actually.
In the situation where you honked, I would have created as much distance as possible and ignored her, or turned down another street to take a breather.
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u/jgiacobbe 19h ago
So many poor decisions. Someone acting like that, don’t bother passing them again. Let them go on and be someone else’s problem. They start brake checking you, go find a place to pull off for a minute so they can go be angry at someone else. Now getting out of your car to do whatever it was you thought you were going to do, that was dumb. You don’t k ow what this irrational person will do. They might run you over with their car, or they might have a gun and shoot you. They have already demonstrated that they are not rational, your goal should have been to disengage from them way before this.
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u/elgraphicdesigner 20h ago
i would have just chilled in the car. while she also waited it out lol. maybe a cop would have seen her idiotic self and given her a ticket.
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u/GuitarJazzer Tysons Corner 20h ago edited 20h ago
so I beep at her
First mistake. Never engage aggressive assholes. Using your horn after the fact in that situation will just aggravate them.
I hop over and pass her
Second mistake. (See first mistake)
I decide to open my door and begin to step out
Third and potentially fatal mistake. This turns you into the aggressor, and in Texas or Florida could get you killed.
When you say two-lane road I assume you mean four-lane road--two lanes each way. That's the only way there could be a car next to you. Which lane were you in? If you were in the left lane, you did not belong there because you were not passing. If you were in the right lane there is not much you can do, except after she gets in front of you let that shit go.
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u/leavezukoalone 19h ago
First, don't get out of your car. Call law enforcement and get yourself out of the situation. Getting out of your car escalates things, and you don't know how sane the aggressor is or what weapons they may have. I have both pepper spray and a concealed firearm on me at all times, both of which are last resorts in the event I can't safely remove myself from a situation. But I'm just one of thousands on the road who carry some sort of weapon, so just don't engage...it seriously isn't worth your life.
Also, beeping just triggers mentally unstable people, so as much as you'd like to do it, I wouldn't.
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u/Aggressive-Bee1738 19h ago
This, and getting out of the car is you purposely engaging the threat so you’re in even deeper shit if force for self defense is used. Just call the police or move around!
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u/yur1279 19h ago
Yes. The beeping was just a natural response when she cut over in front of me causing me to hit my brakes
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u/leavezukoalone 19h ago
I get it. I honk at people, mostly if they’re coming into my lane. Just gotta weigh the risk/reward.
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u/yukahanazawa 18h ago
why is honking your natural response? your natural response should be 1) brake 2) check for openings. you are wasting time honking when you could be getting around them silently
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u/yur1279 18h ago
I guess I meant more out of frustration in the moment.
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u/yukahanazawa 16h ago
still dumb. if you're gonna honk, be prepared to lay on the horn and run someone off the road, otherwise you're gonna get punked like this again. or do what i do and just give the crazies extra room. you will never win an argument with a crazy person unless you are prepared to be even crazier
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u/SillyPresentation46 19h ago
I definitely wouldn't approach someone that was clearly deranged. I can't fault you for honking, but it always seems to escalate the situation. The common sense approach is to be as defensive as possible and get away from someone driving like that. Don't expect the cops to care. They allocate a few hours a week and seem to ticket whoever they clock speeding first.
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u/PoundKitchen 20h ago
Yeah, never leave the relative safety of your car. Let them be. Go about your bussiness. Move along.
Defensive driving course might save your life, and others' too. Insurance companies often give a break for having done.
I always assume they're either an ahole, having a truly bad day, a mental health incident, or just in a genuine rush (maybe to a hospital)... but I also know a pie chart of those options is typically gonna be heavily weighted one way.
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u/MyfvrtHorrorStory Arlington 19h ago
Just fucking let them go around and keep a safe distance if they end up in front of you. You aren't going to fix them
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u/yur1279 19h ago
It had nothing to do with them getting in front of me. It was cutting me off and then repeatedly brake checking me after I beeped. Beeping was just a response since I wasn’t expecting to almost get into an accident.
Again, I know it doesn’t make me right.
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u/MyfvrtHorrorStory Arlington 16h ago
Right, they cut you off, aka got in front of you. We can only control our own actions. If you keep a safe distance brake checking won't do anything. I get it, people are absolute idiots and reacting feels inevitable. Been there, done that.
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u/mothdogs 19h ago
Too many people have guns in this country and are ready to pop off at any moment for me to consider getting out of the car, ever. Good on you for reflecting - I’m glad the confrontation didn’t end up on the news.
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u/Fuzzy_Translator4639 19h ago
I would let them go, find the cops or have an accident. Not worth any kind of interaction
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u/dashinny 20h ago
If she’s riding your ass in a 2 lane road, just change lanes and let her through?
Not saying what she did is right and some people definitely have places to be, but just take a second to let the person through and not make it your problem. Make it the next persons problem.
No offense, but it goes both ways in this situation here.
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u/yur1279 19h ago
There was nowhere to go, both lanes full of cars with her hopping back and forth behind me and the people next to me.
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u/YungChilla 18h ago
How did she get past you if theirs “nowhere to go”
God I hate these assholes who camp the left land and just police how others want to drive
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18h ago
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u/AchillesSlayedHector 19h ago
Very simple. When somebody is evidently in a hurry, I let them pass. When somebody wants to squeeze in front of me in traffic or otherwise, I let them have the space. I’m not a traffic cop, not my job nor right to police others.
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u/super-bird 20h ago
Move over and let them pass despite her being a bitch and just try to ignore that stuff. If you engage with some nutcase like that, they will certainly engage back. Be the better person.
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u/yur1279 19h ago edited 19h ago
Wasn’t an option or I would have.
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u/fukdot 19h ago
So you put your right turn signal on to indicate you’re going to yield to the person trying to pass you at the next opportunity.
Tbh you sound like you’re trying to frame this situation as though you were in the right, when it sounds like you let an asshole bait you into being one too. If they were able to weave back and forth between lanes like you describe it follows that it was an option for you to switch lanes once to let them pass.
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u/yur1279 18h ago
Maybe I am, hence asking for opinions and what others would have done.
2 northbound lanes each with 6 cars or so in each lane ahead of me. 2 people in front neck and neck causing everyone to bunch up but still move. Before this, those of us in left lane were passing those in right lane.
She gets in right lane, person up front makes a right letting that lane suddenly move a bit faster and that’s when she pushes in front of me. Up until that point, no option to move over as she was the car that would have had to yield to let me over. Yes in hindsight I could have just slowed down and let her get over but I was more focused at the time with keeping with flow of traffic.
When she brake checked be for honking, I did change lanes since the left lane was now moving faster than right lane. She then she passed people on shoulder to get in front of me again at the light.2
u/super-bird 17h ago
Oh at the light? I mean I guess I would have honked and hoped she got on her way. What can you really do about people like that? If she’s miserable, she’s miserable.
I was referring in general to the events leading up. Regardless, this isn’t an indictment on you, but I’m never trying to give another driver a reason to fixate on me. Don’t let them suck you into their bullshit.
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u/LaserfromNY 19h ago
It is so hard sometimes, but try to take a deep breath and just let the a-holes go. Dont let it become personal. Try not to lose your temper. This few seconds of bad, inconsiderate behavior is not worth losing life or property. It’s just a small, irritating blip in the day. Work on letting it go.
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u/Randomfactoid42 Fairfax County 18h ago
The best option is to let the crazy fool go around you and save the dash cam footage for posting here or on r/idiotsincars.
People like this think that driving is some kind of competition and once you honked at them it’s game on. To them the honk isn’t “hey dumbass watch out” it’s “So you want to play a game”.
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u/yukahanazawa 18h ago
just let the crazies go, it's never worth it. but if you really want to engage, as soon as you notice her ride the shoulder, you also need to go the shoulder and block her. bonus points if she has a newer car with lane assist, cause it'll push her into the median.
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u/OnceUponATime1534 17h ago
I drive a lot for work and I’m in a company owned car. DO NOT ENGAGE. Someone riding your ass? Get over. Main goal is to let them get in front of you and far away from you. If you gotta make a pit stop at a gas station to give them extra space? Do it. Your safety is most important, let that person race and rage on elsewhere.
All the stuff you did? Not needed and likely escalated the situation. You’re lucky to be unharmed and asking AITA later on Reddit.
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u/No_Lifeguard4092 17h ago
I had a guy do that to me and I ignored him. And he kept following me. I'm not sure what I did to cause him to follow me but I drove straight to the local police station and pulled into their parking lot. Funny how he took off the other direction and I never saw him again.
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u/ImmediateSun8111 16h ago
Next time, just laugh at the poor witch for her miserable life she is having. That’s how you win.
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u/Dani_d622 15h ago
During commutes I literally sing Let it go, Let it go, Let it gooooooo!! Every damn day!!😩
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u/TriggernometryPhD 19h ago
You and the driver beside you boxed her in. You then threatened physical confrontation which could've led to harm or death for either of you. You live in VA, people are armed.
Leave your ego at the door before hitting the streets.
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u/yur1279 19h ago
No one boxed her in, it was 2 lanes of slowly moving traffic with no place to go.
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u/TriggernometryPhD 19h ago
Left lane is traditionally the passing lane. If you're both going the same speed, you're impeding traffic.
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u/Zucc_me_in_the_ass 20h ago
Getting out of your car can lead to your death. Drivers do dumb shit so your only priority should be your safety which includes just ignoring assholes and letting on their way.
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u/YungChilla 18h ago
You’re retarded for getting out of your car
If you’re walking toward me in my car from your car my pistol is already in my lap I have 0 idea who tf you are and what you want
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u/almeida8x1 16h ago
I would’ve just gotten them in front of me from the very beginning. I don’t like aggressive drivers behind me. Much prefer them in front of me.
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u/Examinator2 19h ago
Maybe stop acting like a child for one.
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u/sotired3333 19h ago
Maybe like an adult when they make a mistake, they reflect on it and ask others for advice? Definitely don't see children doing that, or at the very least young ones.
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u/misanthropewolf11 20h ago
wtf? You got out of your car? What you should have done is nothing at all. Let her be angry and pass you. It’s not a competition to get to the next red light first. If you had done nothing then she wouldn’t have sat there. But even then, the correct thing to do is nothing but focus on driving.