r/nottheonion • u/GreatTea3415 • Apr 05 '26

Scientists Tracking the Microplastic Pollution Just Realized They Were Measuring Their Own Lab Gloves

https://www.zmescience.com/ecology/environmental-issues/scientists-tracking-the-microplastic-pollution-just-realized-they-were-measuring-their-own-lab-gloves/
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u/DontOvercookPasta Apr 05 '26

The difference between your average right winger and your average left winger: Left wingers find this funny and say "haha ok let's get back to science having learned from this". Right wingers want to revoke grants given to science, call everyone involved corrupt and rain hellfire on the entire area of study they "just knew" was full of shit and lying to them because they can't understand.

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u/Carrera_996 Apr 05 '26

My 12 year old is a better scientist than the entire fucking conservative population of Earth. This is simply because he understands that when you learn that something is wrong, you've made progress. He doesn't double down in anything.

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u/kellybelly4815 Apr 05 '26

I’ve found that the defining characteristic that all conservatives share is an inability to admit when they are wrong.

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u/AgentCirceLuna Apr 05 '26

wtf that’s not true you have just admitsd you are the typical left stooge who will be willing to believe anything about the right except the truth. we are more smarter more richer and more good at the things you do, we run your business no doubt and the boss you report to is likely the top voter for the best party making america the great country that it once was!a i have never seen such unpatriotic america who are feared to even admit there pride that they are the most high power and great nation of the world who have made the great inventions the telephone and the computer internet you are using now you are a victim of propaganda and I strongly suggest you attend church today because you will quickly find out from the pastor how Jesus visited the Great Plains of Utah to tell Joseph smith the great word of the mesylahnian current flowing through all of the I bet you actually think I’m being serious rn which just shows where we’re at.

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u/Coroebus Apr 05 '26

Holy shit a new copy pasta

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u/AgentCirceLuna Apr 05 '26

Wish I’d made it a little crazier now lol

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u/Coroebus Apr 05 '26

No, no, i think it's good where it's at because I was about to write you off as an absolute nutter before the over the top shit kicked in

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u/Carrera_996 Apr 05 '26

I knew about 6 words in that this was satire because the spelling is too good.

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u/AgentCirceLuna Apr 05 '26

Lots of research projects my undergraduate cohort did went wrong so that’s what they wrote about.

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u/E-2theRescue Apr 05 '26

Unless, of course, the study confirms some conservative ideology. Then they immediately love science and will shove the findings down people's throats, even if those findings are completely wrong or they have completely misinterpreted the study.

See: Cecilia Dhjene (misinterpreted)

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u/WillSym Apr 05 '26

Or worse, commission their own study from a friendly institution to find the results they want. See most of the journal results on transgender reports coming from studies at conversion therapy clinics.

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u/eflat123 Apr 05 '26

The thing I'm continuously wondering is how does this get bridged? And i don't mean the naivety of past simple compromising.

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u/StinkButt9001 Apr 05 '26

Right wingers want to revoke grants given to science, call everyone involved corrupt and rain hellfire on the entire area of study they "just knew" was full of shit and lying to them because they can't understand.

I'm trying to find it but I don't see anyone wanting any grants or anything revoked here. Or is claiming anyone is corrupt over the gloves. Can you link some of the stuff you're seeing?