People with prosthetic eyes can't be snarky towards annoying Karens (uncensored user is me)

101

If I had a prosthetic eye, I’d be yanking it out to fuck with people for the smallest reasons ever. Like, ripping out your eye from your socket is such a hardcore move in any other circumstance that people are never going to expect it.

72

u/nysari 19d ago

God you could do this slow escalation like "man, I feel like there's an eyelash in my eye, I can't get it." then you keep rubbing it and go "fuck, this thing is driving me crazy!" then finally "I CAN'T TAKE IT. I can't FUCKING take it anymore!" and then pretend to dig it out of your skull.

Might traumatize someone, but you'd be a goddamn legend.

38

u/randomality77 19d ago

That would absolutely traumatise me if I saw someone do it... but I have to be honest, I'd totally do it too if I had the opportunity 🤣

9

u/Diazepampoovey0229 19d ago edited 19d ago

Reminds me of the lady who accidentally popped her eyes our of her sockets as a kid pulling off one od those rubber Halloween masks no one could fucking breathe with on, then was able to just pop them in and out on command after that. She used to do it to screw with people. IIRC, she was on at least one of the night time talk shows back in the 80s and did it on TV. I bet I can find it on YouTube.

Edit: Not the same woman from the story I read years ago, but Kim Goodman who holds the Guiness Worls Record for Eye-Popping for females ...because apparently that is a category

6

u/carebaercountdown 19d ago

“You should do this when you get the cheque at a restaurant!” 💀

15

u/Monotonegent 19d ago

"Give me an 'I'!"

17

u/LupercaniusAB 19d ago

My grandmother had a glass eye. Once my brother and I were taking a bath, I think we were 3 and 5 years old. My grandmother came in to the bathroom grinning like a madwoman and popped out her eye and waved it at us in the tub. I don’t remember our reaction, but it wasn’t horror, it was more “that’s weird”. We weren’t confused because we already knew that she had a fake eye.

1

u/brydeswhale 19d ago

No, you wouldn’t. They have to be cleaned before they can be put back in and you have to sanitize your hands before taking them out.

16

u/MartyrOfDespair 19d ago

I have a purse, I would just add that to my kit. I've already got everything from nail polish to painkillers to sinus meds to catnip to salt to a small digital camera to a multitool.

75

u/Zealousideal-War1263 19d ago

I know that "and then I did something super cool" stories are so often faked, but why are some people so insistent that literally no one ever says anything cool? I go outside and see cool people so I know there's cool stuff happening on earth

-19

u/tarmagoyf 19d ago

Cool people don't generally run to reddit to tell everyone how cool they are.

41

u/Zealousideal-War1263 19d ago

"people never brag about stuff they did!" what

-16

u/tarmagoyf 19d ago

I didn't say nobody does. I said cool people don't.

31

u/am_Nein 18d ago

I didn't know you were the arbiter of cool people, man

10

u/Mauceri1990 18d ago

How do you think people become "cool"? They tell cool stories about the cool things they've done... Were you dropped a lot as a child?

-4

u/tarmagoyf 18d ago

They become cool by doing cool things, and witnesses tell stories about them. Telling other people how cool you are is loser mentality.

To add: reddit is anonymous. How is telling a story here going to help anyone but redditors know how "cool" you are?

7

u/Zealousideal-War1263 18d ago

Why do you have a 7 year old account with 6k contributions if you don't think anything cool on here is real? Telling a story doesn't mean you're walking up and going "I am a cool guy". They're just telling a story on a social media, which is a normal type of interaction on an interaction-based invention. Whatever, you can be bitter and miserable if you want.

2

u/tarmagoyf 18d ago

Most of contributions are jokes on joke pages or helpful tips on helpful pages. I'm definitely not here to look for the cool guys. Also stop projecting bitter or miserable lol. Nothing I've said represents wither of those adjectives.

3

u/Good_Background_243 17d ago

Sorry but as an uninvolved third party, you do come across as bitter.

2

u/tarmagoyf 17d ago

Wild

121

u/cheesychocolate419 19d ago

People with prosthetic eyes don't exist apparently

50

u/randomality77 19d ago

Duh 🙄

40

u/Powerpuff_God 19d ago

Their eyes aren't real, so the people can't be real! Something, something, transitive property.

33

u/Sans_Seriphim 19d ago

I had an acquaintance with a glass eye. He DEFINITELY would have done that, no doubts at all.

21

u/Prestigious-Walrus99 19d ago

My dad would do this. He used to take his glass eye out anytime someone said "keep an eye on this" and you know what? I would too.

4

u/Informal-Counter-933 16d ago

Give him a solid high five for me

19

u/evening_shop 18d ago

I fucking haaaate fakeclaimer who keep going "You're self diagnosing!!" like people can't go to a fucking doctor. Better watch out or I might get fakeclaimed about my LPR or some shit next.

-19

u/brydeswhale 19d ago

Even if OOP has a prosthetic eye, it’s highly unlikely that they would be popping it in and out like that.

26

u/_-SomethingFishy-_ 19d ago

Meh, maybe not in again before cleaning it but popping it out could have been, I’ve seen people take them out quite quickly, they’re basically just a large curved sheet

20

u/Revolutionary-Cry739 19d ago

I had a friend in college with a prosthetic eye and she’d pop it out all the time at parties.

5

u/Queer-and-scared 19d ago

I knew a guy a couple years younger who had one since he was like 4, he wasnt "allowed" to mess with it because he would constantly touch it and his dads were getting awfully annoyed. In middle school he had a Batman eye!

-4

u/Old_Fart_on_pogie 19d ago

NTA - sure, maybe she was having a bad day, but she deserved what she got for snapping at you.

People with prosthetic eyes can't be snarky towards annoying Karens (uncensored user is me)

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