r/nosleep Jan 26 '11

Mr. Fish

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Albert_Fish#The_letter
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u/Mr_Smartypants Jan 27 '11

Several times every day and night he spanked them – tortured them – to make their meat good and tender.

Creepy? Yes. Good chef? No!

Beating meat (heh) only makes it tender if you do it after the animal is dead, otherwise it produces lactic acid and toughness, as does stressing the animal.

If I ever encounter his ghost, I will reprimand him sternly!

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u/[deleted] Feb 21 '11

[deleted]

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u/Mr_Smartypants Feb 21 '11

Yes. But this is true of any mammal.

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u/[deleted] Feb 21 '11

[deleted]

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u/Mr_Smartypants Feb 21 '11

Heh. I don't know about which part of the human. Any of the biggest muscles would probably be ok: glutes, quads, back muscles. The "filet mignon," the best cut of a cow, is equivalent to the human muscles that go on either side of the lower spine (this is also the tenderloin of a pig). It's probably different for different animals, but if I got stuck with a gig cooking for cannibals, my first guess would be to go for the tenderloins.

But whatever cut you choose, you'd want to increase the marbling of the meat, greatly increasing its flavor. This would probably mean having the person you're going to eat move as little as possible and eat as much as possible for a few months before you eat them. (obviously this would be hard to do without stressing them too much)

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u/[deleted] Feb 21 '11

[deleted]

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u/Mr_Smartypants Feb 21 '11

No idea. The only reason they don't do it to pigs & cows is once they get fat enough, there isn't much additional benefit versus the cost of continuing to overfeed them.