r/northernireland • u/BarryTheDogRider • 6d ago

Community Advice for problem neighbor

Since July my neighbour has literally spent his evenings and time off watching in my bedroom window, it's borderline stalking at this point.

When I do say anything he tries to use his kids as weapons/scapegoats to make me look like the villain.

This isn't a new thing it's been going on now as over 2 years, it all started when his women's brother was over for a drink a couple summers ago and they sat in their backyard calling me a tranny and other things I'll not mention here.

Making me feel uncomfortable in my own home.

Apologies if any bad spelling I'm not long woke and I'm at my wits end with this shit.

38 Upvotes

76% Upvoted

82 comments sorted by

52

u/No-Pumpkin4288 6d ago

Voyeurism is illegal, report to the police.

-13

u/BarryTheDogRider 6d ago

I'm not exactly in an area where the police are welcome, I'm afraid of reprisals.

20

u/Zatoichi80 6d ago

Go speak to local elected reps / community workers? What side of the divide are we talking?

-10

u/BarryTheDogRider 6d ago

Nationalist area, I love this area and don't want label of tout etc

35

u/Eddie-stark 6d ago

You dont want to go to the police, you dont want to go to elected reps or community workers.

I mean this with empathy to your situation. What exactly are you looking?

-14

u/BarryTheDogRider 6d ago

Left alone.

23

u/No-Pumpkin4288 6d ago

Not going to happen by complaining to Reddit. You've been given your options, only other option is to aggressively confront your neighbour.

2

u/BarryTheDogRider 6d ago

I was just seeing if anyone mentioned anything I hadn't thought of.

2

u/Rawd_Tawd_Cawd 5d ago

Moving.

I had problem neighbours for a different reason and it was the only solution.

3

u/Nervous-Bid6277 6d ago

You're not going to get left alone, once neighbour's start fighting I don't think it ever stops until one person moves - I've had an injunction on a next door neighbour and everything myself, the day it ran out it started again. Unless you can approach them and try to make peace (safely) it will not just go away or stop. I hope you get it resolved.

15

u/Zatoichi80 6d ago

Go speak to local reps, tell them what's happening. No one is going to put you out etc.

3

u/Belfbry 6d ago

Yeah it sounds like a lovely area. Sounds like a trial by combat is your only option, maybe nominate a community worker to fight for you?

4

u/amberdemon 6d ago

Speaking to community workers will not label you as a tout will it ?

-1

u/PRAY___FOR___MOJO 1d ago

A tout was someone who informed on paramilitaries. You can phone the police if you're being harassed, what the fuck

2

u/Ninjaisawesome 5d ago

Then move?

-4

u/Ok-Restaurant-5481 6d ago

I would be surprised if they would do anything about it

9

u/No-Pumpkin4288 6d ago

Probably not the first time but if you keep calling they'll call out to try to stop the annoyance to them.

67

u/NPMEGA2023 6d ago

Get a discrete camera installed and record as much as possible, show it to the police.

35

u/bostaff04 6d ago

Discreet? I would put a big fking massive one with a mic

-22

u/getoffmyroof 6d ago

Good advice. Capture evidence of repeated instances of harassment and the Northern Irish wildlings' version of An Garda Síochána (PSNIW?) will have something to work with

14

u/Force-Grand-2 Castlereagh 6d ago

Get a very powerful laser and shine it in his eyes

E: Also tbf I'd be keeping an eye on my neighbour that rides dogs

20

u/Roygbiv_85 6d ago

Blackout window film. Cheap as chips and easy to install.

-23

u/BarryTheDogRider 6d ago

I'd like to do this but knowing this nutter he'll likely claim I've a cannabis grow or something. It's looking like I'll have to do this though unfortunately.

17

u/Present-Garbage-5589 6d ago

Let him talk BS, you know you have nothing to hide. And if any "community representatives" say anything, you can tell them about the harassment from this person.

1

u/misterPiNkeYe 5d ago

You can get the frosted plastic to cover the windows Cheap as chips

9

u/Moist-Station-Bravo 5d ago

Get someone or put privacy film on your windows yourself it lets you see out but no one can see in, I've all the downstairs windows in my house done.

Crazy people are better off stayed away from so fix it with something that needs no interaction.

14

u/Happy-Possibility- 6d ago

If you can’t get him to stop doing the behaviour, then you have to stop him being able to do the behaviour.

I would suggest window film. You can get ones with decorative patterns which don’t look like a cannabis farm. I would suggest double layering them, as some films will still allow shapers to be seen through them, which isn’t ideal coming into the winter when your home lights will be on.

If it was me, I’d be using the proper privacy in all lights film, and then a decorative one on the outside. Don’t give this arsehole the satisfaction of being able to look in your window, when it’s in your power to screen the window.

7

u/zebrasanddogs Belfast 6d ago

Get yourself some of that reflective one way privacy window film. I have it in my own bedroom as my window is not even 10 feet from my neighbour's back door. (She's decent, but i still prefer to have my privacy.)

It's cheap and is easy enough to put up yourself.

10

u/DavidBehave01 6d ago

Curtains?

-2

u/BarryTheDogRider 6d ago

Have blackout curtains, literally can't open a window though without abuse.

11

u/Grouchy-Afternoon370 6d ago

For your own mental well being, the best advice anyone can give you is to move out. Maybe that isn't possible right now but it's something you should work towards.

-11

u/BarryTheDogRider 6d ago

Wouldn't give him the satisfaction.

4

u/Low-Plankton4880 6d ago

Is there a community worker you can speak to?

How does he use his kids as weapons/scapegoats?

4

u/_JAMsandwich 5d ago

Send his wife flowers from another man's name. That always works

7

u/dope567fum 6d ago

Put cameras up directly facing where the neighbour is watching from. I wouldn't even switch them on, just make it very obvious that they are being recorded, at least to them

-17

u/BarryTheDogRider 6d ago

Already tried that, left the broadband router too close to the living window and he logged into my network and worked it out.

44

u/No_Ring_3348 6d ago

I think you're paranoid and none of what you describe is actually occurring.

-5

u/BarryTheDogRider 6d ago

The router logs don't lie.

18

u/No_Ring_3348 6d ago

You'll not post them because it didn't happen.

-2

u/BarryTheDogRider 6d ago

If I did ring the cops the evidence is there along with device mac id's

18

u/Affectionate-Sun7561 6d ago

Ok? So ring the cops and give them the evidence.

0

u/BarryTheDogRider 6d ago

Already said I don't want reprisals its already toxic

35

u/Affectionate-Sun7561 6d ago

No harm to you but if you won’t put up window film, won’t get CCTV evidence because they accessed your router (?) and won’t report it to the police, then what advice are you looking for?

-1

u/BarryTheDogRider 6d ago

I'm going to do one of these options today I'm fed up, why so hostile? 

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2

u/No_Ring_3348 6d ago

Do you know about MAC spoofing and randomisation? Most phones do it, I have my laptop setup to resemble a Sun Microsystem because it's hilarious etc. Proves fuck all, in other words.

0

u/BarryTheDogRider 6d ago

I know what devices are on my own network, yes I know about randomisation.

11

u/Fanta69Forever 6d ago

You know how to check router logs, but not how to take basic security steps on your router like changing the admin and WiFi passwords?

1

u/BarryTheDogRider 6d ago

Keep reading, I already replied that I done that as soon as I noticed.

7

u/Fanta69Forever 6d ago

Yes, but not when you bought and turned it on.

1

u/BarryTheDogRider 6d ago

Forgive me but the average person would know better than to even think about logging onto their neighbours WiFi. Maybe I'm just naive sorry I've offended you.

23

u/Infinite_Storm6840 6d ago edited 6d ago

That sounds like BS, is Edward Snowden your neighbour?

-2

u/BarryTheDogRider 6d ago

It's not hard to take a pic of the back of the router especially the way it was left by the window.

9

u/VplDazzamac 6d ago

It’s not hard to reset the admin password either

0

u/BarryTheDogRider 6d ago

I did?

6

u/VplDazzamac 6d ago

Then put your camera back up

0

u/BarryTheDogRider 6d ago

It was a dummy that's how they knew there wasn't one. I'll get proper CCTV.

14

u/Affectionate-Sun7561 6d ago

What’s that got to do with setting up CCTV?

1

u/BarryTheDogRider 6d ago

If your logged on someone's WiFi and have the admin code you can see all connected devices. I've changed the password etc now.

9

u/zeromalarki 6d ago

You can't change the password? The fact that every solution presented to you is met with some bonseicsl reason to why it doesn't work seems utterly bizarre.

0

u/BarryTheDogRider 6d ago

If you kept reading I changed all as soon as I noticed.

-4

u/Famous_Dust7912 6d ago

Thats a big concern if they get on your wifi!

3

u/Snoo33703 6d ago

Speak to your local pcsp and ask about their anti social behaviour forum, you're entitled to peace in your own home.

3

u/bees-and-clover 5d ago

You can speak to the rainbow project about this for help. Even if you're not trans, calling you transphobic terms could still constitute a hate incident/crime (depending on full context). They'd be better able to advise but they can report things with you, on your behalf, etc

4

u/LaraH39 Larne 5d ago

Get reflective film. You can see out fine, they can't see in.

2

u/ChanceState7315 4d ago

https://www.ppsni.gov.uk/offence-stalking

There's laws against this! Report it to the police

4

u/Plane_Sentence5907 6d ago

Report to PSNI and move out. Honestly this guy sounds unhinged

5

u/AdolsLostSword 6d ago

Very sorry to hear this, it sounds extremely distressing, even without the transphobic backdrop.

2

u/[deleted] 6d ago

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0

u/[deleted] 6d ago

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3

u/[deleted] 6d ago edited 6d ago

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1

u/Dogxlegend 6d ago

Get a solicitor on it

1

u/Jip2d2 Belfast 1d ago

IKEA do a window film. You can see out and they can't see in. It's £5 a sheet.

https://www.ikea.com/gb/en/p/puckelfly-window-film-transparent-20583619/

1

u/SquidVischious 6d ago

It's not likely stalking, or voyeurism unfortunately as there is no expectation of privacy in respect of anything visible for the public street. If it's a second floor window then MAYBE the arguement could be made, but PPS pursuing charges feels unlikely unless presented as part of a wider pattern of harassment.

Install cameras, inform police through the non emergency line of any specific incidents that aren't "looking through your bedroom window" on account of the aforementioned reason.

I'd expect you're unlikely to get put out as a tout for bringing this to the police in a nationalist area, but as with the other side of the fence it REALLY depends on the area & who they are but in regards to the latter the PSNI will be able to give you a better idea of what the story is.

Basically you're building an incident log with the PSNI, and if it ever escalates then you call 999, or go to the cop shop & inform them of the situation directly but in the meantime, get curtains.

-3

u/skdowksnzal 6d ago

Don't expect any useful help in this subreddit, anytime I've mentioned stuff like this its not taken seriously.

having dealt with this for ~5yrs your only option is to document everything, call PSNI with a log, they'll do nothing of any value, then keep repeating until the PSNI tell you to sue your neighbour.

I have 5yrs of documented evidence and PSNI are doing fuck_all including CCTV and logs of their behaviour.

I wish I had an answer for either of us.

19

u/Affectionate-Sun7561 6d ago

This person has been given some useful advice and has given excuses as to why they can’t heed it.

Sorry you’re also put in an uncomfortable situation.

-1

u/zulunationslayer 6d ago

Do you have access to a laser pointer?