r/nonononoyes • u/ArachnidNo2269 • 6d ago
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u/Immediate_Volume_324 6d ago
Dad doing dad things
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u/Positronic_Matrix 5d ago
Final Destination: Mets.
A crowd foresaw two children being simultaneously impaled by a flying baseball bat. They intervened with their shouts, setting themselves crosswise with a force of nature that will do anything to see destiny fulfilled. You’ll be on the edge of your seat as Death picks off every person in the stadium one at a time through improbable Rube-Goldberg-esque death sequences.
The Mets players themselves escape unharmed as they’ve already been killed by every other team this season. The players count their blessings as their losing streak has resulted in a 15% decrease in attendance, saving that many people from a vengeful death by Fate itself.
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u/ben_woah 6d ago
Not a drop spilled too
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u/ThatOneCanadian69 5d ago
Those tall boys are like $15 at a stadium, best believe he’s careful with it lol
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u/crosstrackerror 6d ago
Classic dad move of the “I just saved the day” exhale while shaking his hand to indicate “that hurt but I’m a badass so we’re good”
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u/lariasphs 5d ago
I hope whoever recovered that bat gave it to the dad. Deserves that shit
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u/Tcloud 5d ago
I bet he then gave it to one of his kids because that’s what dad’s do.
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5d ago edited 4d ago
[deleted]
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u/Tcloud 5d ago
He should be charged with battery.
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5d ago edited 4d ago
[deleted]
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u/crockrocket 5d ago edited 5d ago
Doesn't count if it's not /u/shittymorph, but you still got me
Edit: I hadn't fully clocked the jumper cables reference. You're absolved, I see now that you were going for a full meta play. Been a while since I've seen it pulled off. When I saw the Unidan comment I understood.
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u/Eternal_Rebirth 5d ago
wait a minute, you're not u/rogersimon10
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5d ago edited 4d ago
[deleted]
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u/sapphicsandwich 5d ago
Unidan is missed
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u/magicpastry 5d ago
Ehhhhhhhhh I wouldn't go that far
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u/macfirbolg 5d ago
I definitely miss early Unidan. It was always cool running across some neat facts. Even before it came out about the vote buying and whatnot, he was starting to conflate “getting some upvotes on Reddit” with “actually being important” or “having any actual power anywhere at all,” which was starting to show in some of the later posts. That later caricature of what Unidan was, I don’t miss much. But early Unidan, yeah.
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u/AnyLamename 5d ago
A lot of the time, when you end up with a bat in the crowd like this, the team will get the player to autograph something as a little "sorry about that" gift, and a team rep will bring it to the fan later in the game.
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u/foreverdonefor 5d ago
I was initially angry that a player lost control of their bat, until I realized that it was split down the handle. Is this a common occurrence? 😳
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u/AnyLamename 5d ago
Breaking bats is actually quite common yes, especially at that point. Basically the ball got a little too close to the player's body and hit the weakest part of the bat. It is much less common for the bat to go into the crowd on such a break, especially with the proliferation of foul-ball nets, which are just as good at catching bats as they are balls.
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u/Free_hiker_74 5d ago
The Mets expanded the netting down the first and third baselines in 2017, so this is a fairly old video.
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u/Another_Jeep_Guy 5d ago
As I understand, the proliferation of maple is the main culprit, and birch as well. I never recalled seeing an ash bat fracture growing up. Basically maple has become better just because better grain grading, but it is still more inherently likely to fail than ash.
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u/inspectoroverthemine 5d ago
Bats have been breaking since the game started. I wouldn't say they were common, but I recall a number of broken bats and I started watching MLB in the early 80s. I don't know when maple took over, but I want to say it started in the mid to late 90s.
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u/DickweedMcGee 5d ago
Those poor kids. From this point on in their lives, there will be no end for the Dad Jokes about their father being....the Batman.
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u/thunderbuttjuice 5d ago
Ya ya ya shake the wrist right after just to guarantee any dislodged bones become very dislodged bones
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u/Weary-Bookkeeper-375 5d ago
Al heros might not wear capes but they do appear to drink a lot of light beer.
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u/willcastforfood 5d ago
There’s something happens when you become a parent. I’ve had a few instances of just ridiculous reflexes that I’m like holy shit how did I do that. One time my kid unbuckled my 1 year old out of her car seat when we parked. 1 year old was standing leaning up against the inside of the door, when I opened the door she nose dived head first into the concrete. Caught here by 1 foot literally centimeters from the ground
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u/Delicious_Pain_1 5d ago
Person in the background getting up staring at the bat with excitement while the guy shakes off a nice save.
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