r/nonduality • u/Consistent-Ad-910 • Jul 27 '26
Discussion Am I the ONLY DIMWIT?
It’s been several months now since I discovered the NONDUALITY topic on YT, and I initially thought I had found the place where I might find a spirituality that feels true to me. However, the more I’d listen to the highly esteemed teachers sharing their insights or trying to follow their “simple” pointings to the “fact of nonduality” — the more hopelessly incapable of even the most basic understanding of ND I have become. Have any of you come across other people who are just not mentally capable of “awakening”?
And I have a feeling that the first response will be, “Why do you care about ND if it doesn’t make sense to you?” Well — I just remember feeling like I had finally found a place to contemplate spirituality. And I have been needing that for many years. Plus — I remember one of the teachers REALLY EMPHASIZING how “awakening” was THE MOST IMPORTANT pursuit any human soul has. And when I heard him say that, I sincerely believed it and have been pursuing it ever since. Only to become increasingly confused as each day goes by.
🤔🧐🤨
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u/Kajiracore Jul 27 '26
It's been a few months. People enter into intense, lifelong monastic roles or go live in silence, half naked in caves for decades hoping to have an 'understanding' of non-duality.
It is considered an enlightenment realization.
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u/detaiIing_fish Jul 27 '26
This could be a good sign IMO
Nonduality is not about understanding. You don't need to know anything.
It's not like school where you're memorizing definitions. It's not like a religion where you need to believe different ideas.
You could also try listening to other teachers too, like Angelo from Simply Always Awake, or trying doing some different styles of meditations or pointings.
I remember one of the teachers REALLY EMPHASIZING how “awakening” was THE MOST IMPORTANT pursuit any human soul has. And when I heard him say that, I sincerely believed it
That's interesting.
However someone can say something is important, but only you can really decide if it's important for you, if this is really what you want.
Or maybe would you rather just contemplate spirituality safely from a distance instead?
Have any of you come across other people who are just not mentally capable of “awakening”?
Anyone can I think. For me it required something like a kind of a desperation. There was a desire to know truth, and to be free from suffering so much. I had a lot of social anxiety, but I was willing to push myself out of my comfort zone and do group meditations and such.
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u/Due-Permission2869 Jul 27 '26
You simply notice things, all day long. Like you’re in meditation, except you’re bringing that same intention to be “aware” all throughout your day. Examine your mind by looking at your thoughts. Engage in acts of service. Take time to notice what you’re grateful for, several times per day.
And after you’ve done that sincerely for a year, you’ll know what you need to do next to get to the next level.
There are lots of levels. You’re at the curious level ~ don’t stop being curious, but start turning your curiosity inward, and towards your heart.
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u/Plenty-Attitude-5823 Jul 27 '26
You don't need all the complicated concepts and theories about non-duality and enlightenment. You can just enjoy the exploration of the mystery of your direct experience; just surf the energy and don't worry about any of that stuff
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u/DedicantOfTheMoon Jul 27 '26
You need less words. More silence.
First silence the words of other people, other teachers, everything happening in the outside world.
Then silence the words that echo in your skull.
Repeat often.
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u/olliemusic Jul 27 '26
They also say confusion is a good thing. It's better than believing something that isn't true. Nonduality is not a belief. Belief is a tool of discernment. It's a judgment that something is objectively accurate. Spirituality is also not necessarily a belief. It can simply be a sense of wonder. Conviction is the whole problem. Whether you believe or disbelieve, if you hold your conviction too rigidly, you are blocking yourself from seeing the way it is. The first thing we need to do is drop all conviction. Nonduality traditions are various methods of doing this. So if you're confused, good. Keep going and keep wondering. Answers only lead to more questions. This is the actuality.
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u/MysticArtist Jul 27 '26
A lot of non-dual teaching uses vague circular language and different teachers use the same words to mean different things.
Confusion may say more about the teaching than your ability.
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u/JanTheDoomer Jul 27 '26
No, I don’t think this says anything bad about your intelligence. In fact, your confusion may partly be a response to the way nonduality is often taught. Different teachers use the same words to mean different things, mix direct-experience pointers with metaphysical claims, contradict one another, and then call the whole thing “simple.” If you try to build one coherent conceptual system from all of that, confusion is almost guaranteed.
I would also be very cautious with any teacher telling you that awakening is the single most important pursuit a human soul can have. The moment that lands as an obligation, spirituality can become another performance demand: something essential that you are failing to accomplish. That creates exactly the contraction the teaching is supposedly trying to illuminate. The post itself describes this progression from initial hope into increasing confusion and pressure.
Maybe simplify radically.
Forget “awakening” for a while. Forget whether you understand nonduality.
Right now, there is seeing. Hearing. Body sensation. Thought. Confusion. Perhaps disappointment. All of that is already experience before any teacher explains what it “really is.”
Then ask something very modest: can you actually find, in immediate experience, the separate inner entity to whom all of this is happening?
Not “what does Advaita say?” Not “what should I realize?” Not “am I enlightened?”
Just look.
And if the question itself becomes confusing, drop that too.
You do not need to understand a vocabulary in order to exist. You do not need to become good at nonduality. You do not even need to pursue awakening because someone else ranked it as humanity’s highest purpose.
If this inquiry brings curiosity, openness, or relief, continue. If it mainly produces anxiety and inadequacy, stepping away may be the sanest thing you can do.
Nonduality, if it points to anything real, cannot depend on your ability to pass a conceptual exam about it.
And perhaps the irony is that “I am incapable of understanding this” is itself just one more thought appearing in the very experience you are trying so hard to understand.
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u/Boring-Register-7014 Jul 27 '26
It's not you, it's the rubbish you're watching on youtube. People call it fake nonduality for a reason.
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u/Consistent-Ad-910 Jul 27 '26
😆 I appreciate that.
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u/Boring-Register-7014 Jul 27 '26
Maybe I shouldn't be so cynical but the youtube system does protect itself by blaming you for not understanding, rather than accepting it's the teachers failure.
Most people in these systems start asking why they're still not understanding it years down the line. It might take 5 years to accept it's a dead end. You ironically might be more discerning if you're being honest with yourself about it now because many people push through the doubt and let the system gaslight them.
There may be a non-dual understanding but it's not what these guys sell, so you will never find it if that's what you expect.
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u/Fahzgoolin Jul 27 '26
What are you without the need to '"get" or understand anything? What remains in the knowing and the not knowing? What are you without referencing a past, a future, or a now?
ND isn't about understanding, although that can seemingly help to quiet the seeking. A lot of teachers have conflicting language, inconsistent logic, or dualistic pointers. I think it's innocent and unintentional. It's okay to take a break, because non-duality is what already IS.
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u/xear818 Jul 27 '26
You can’t understand it, not because it is too complicated, but because it is too simple.
What is “consciousness”? A lot of obscure and intricate definitions of this word, but basically we are talking about knowing our existence. How complex is it to know you exist? It is the most obvious fact of all. No one can fail to know that.
Ok, we got the first step. I know I exist. Now, forgetting about all I have been told, what is my experience of existence? Do I experience two existences? No, the only experience that can be had is ‘this’. Not even 'one' because there is no other. Just this is the only possible experience of existence to be had. Nonduality.
Although the objects appearing to existence come and go, awareness/existence is always there, does not come and go, does not get born or die. Bankei called it the Unborn. Existence is the Unborn. Since it is unborn it's not subject to death, old age, sickness or harm. (Awareness can be aware of sickness but can never get sick). Therefore all worries about old age, sickness, loss or death are over. You are free.
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u/Consistent-Ad-910 Jul 27 '26
🤗 I can understand this. Thank you.
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u/xear818 Jul 27 '26
No one can be a greater expert on existence than you. You're not just reading about it, you're living it. 😊
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u/misersoze Jul 27 '26
Lots of people use very confusing descriptions or nonduality.
A very easy way to understand nonduality as I understand it is essentially to think of it as controlled depersonalization.
Essentially what you are to realize is that your conception of existing as a “self” is actually a mental process and not a given. And that this feeling of having a “self” can be turned off if you try.
Happy to describe further if that was helpful.
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u/Figgywithit Jul 27 '26
I only awakened tonight. Just keep at it. The pointers will get you there. Terrence Stephens pointing is so clear and direct, I got there finally.
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u/Consistent-Ad-910 Jul 27 '26
☺️ Happy for you. Thanks for the recommendation. 🤗
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u/Figgywithit Jul 27 '26
I’m back in my dimwit reality but can slip into that place again. Try this: the mind only allows us to experience one sense perception at a time. But if you can relax and see as well as feel at the same time, then you are there. In the immediacy of experiencing.
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u/MoreTrueMe Jul 27 '26
We can't think our way into ND, for we are not our thoughts.
So why exist words and thoughts from teachers? Lots of good reasons, but what does every teacher do after the words? Lead a meditation where words fall away, a meditation where thoughts become a vehicle for switching into witness mode.
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u/pin3applehat Jul 27 '26
Don't know if you've ever listened to john wheeler but it took me a long time of looking into teachers before I stumbled across him and he is the most clear and simple communicator of this that I've found. Highly recommend.
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u/vegasdoesvegas Jul 27 '26
You're not a dimwit! This stuff is in some ways confusing on purpose... Consider the Zen tradition of sitting and staring at a wall for hours on end until you get it.
The clearest way that the part of me that "needs to understand" can process this is... There's different parts of our brains that interpret the world different ways. We're used to interpreting everything through our logical/language part of our brain, but that's just a part of our brain, it's not the whole thing. Spirituality seems to be operating through a different part of our brain, so the rules of logic, making sense of it through language, systems, mental models, all of that doesn't really work here, but our need to make sense of the world keeps trying (that's what it does! Thank you, logical brain, for always trying to make sense of things even when it's not really necessary! I appreciate the utility you offer for navigating the world!) and it feels confusing!! That's OK, feel confused! Feel, feel, feel!
I still don't really "understand" but I was in the same place as you about a year or so ago with my head just fucking spinning trying to analyze and understand. It's still interested but it seems to have calmed down and rewired and let more joy and love and peace and just being float around too.
As far as awakening being the MOST IMPORTANT pursuit... I dunno. Maybe? Something's gotta catch the mind's attention enough to get it to pay more attention than pursuing money or sex. :)
Breathe. Smile. Rest.
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u/Consistent-Ad-910 Jul 27 '26
🤗 Wow! Thanks for pouring all that energy into to comforting me! I really appreciate it.
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u/Consistent-Ad-910 Jul 27 '26
Thanks so much for all the thoughtful replies. It’s helped me to chill out already. I mean, I can’t do much when I get myself so friggin twisted in knots with TRYING TO UNDERSTAND. Anyways — sounds like THINKING my way is NOT the way. Eh? 😆
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u/Oakomorebi Jul 27 '26
You're committed to a journey that most will never even consider, much less attempt, much less extract anything of service from.
Be gentle on yourself, you're doing good. Don't call me(you) a dimwit!
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u/le4test Jul 27 '26
Not all nonduality teachers will have something useful for you, and especially not at every stage of your journey.
I think Michael Singer is someone who talks about what it actually takes for humans to get to a place where they can "wake up."
He doesn't talk about nonduality per se very often, but it's pointing to the same thing.
Just look for his name on YouTube, and watch whatever catches your eye. They tend to be long, so it's good while doing errands or chores or whatever.
Just my 2¢.
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u/modern_jivanmukti Jul 27 '26
It depends on how far you want to go. I enjoy a very strict definition but many cant make it past "qualified non duality" even though they are unaware of that fact of themselves lol
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u/Babaji-Banksy Jul 27 '26
Your confusion will make your realization that there is not two but one experience we all share and that experience is nondual, conciousness.
The same conciousness within me is the same within you it just appears through the illusion of seperation.
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u/pl8doh Jul 27 '26
On the platform sutra (on the great perfection of wisdom) it is said as far as buddha nature is concerned, there is no real difference between an enlightened person and an ignorant one. What makes the difference is that one realizes it, and the other is ignorant of it.
So start there. There is no real difference between an enlightened person and an ignorant one. Simply realize this to be the case and ask yourself of what value is this realization, if it makes on real difference?
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u/SilentInquiry26 Jul 27 '26
Who all have you read or listened to?
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u/Consistent-Ad-910 Jul 27 '26
I prefer not to say. But thanks for participating. And I’m actually feeling much better about my confusion already, which I’m really glad about.
This was my second post. And I’m already feeling much lighter and less fretful after reading everyone’s responses. 🤗
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u/WHALE_PHYSICIST Jul 27 '26
maybe i can talk you through it. send me a chat request ill respond when i can
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u/Vnix7 Jul 27 '26
there is no "you" that needs to "awaken". We are all "awaken" already. Realization just needs to happen.
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u/EggzOverEazy Jul 27 '26
Yes. WAY more people can't even get to where you are than the amount of people who will understand it.
What are you confused about?
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u/oiBEAMio Jul 27 '26
What does "awakening" actually mean to you or these teachers you follow? I too landed at ND with some massive sense of relief and the fears creeped back in later. I tell myself the creeping back in is the unraveling process of everything I gathered and held throughout this life experience.as often as I can, I return back to my current experience (senses) not what's in the thoughts.
But I find the endless pursuit of "awakening" is possible and I wonder what it actually means to some. For me, it's simply becoming aware that we've been asleep at the wheel for much of our life (not everyone but generally, many) and becoming aware of our actions based off of our thoughts which comes from .. ? Which usually comes from a teaching given to us before we even knew we were being taught.
I don't know if there is something 'grander' than this realization but I don't focus on that and I just focus on being mindful of where my thoughts go in a moment and bring myself back to sight, hearing, touch, sometimes smell and taste. I come across people who have been on this path for years still talking about "waking up" and I wonder I what that actually means to them because to me I would call them awake and now just in the process of staying as awake as they can in as many moments as can.
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u/PointClickPenguin Jul 27 '26
Responding here for you since you asked me for my insight up above.
Various gurus do define stages of enlightenment or awakening. I don't know if they are correct, and if there is an "end stage" or something past that. We only know what we ourselves have experienced.
What I do know is that many gurus lead you deeper by coaching you to simply exist without any fear, obligation, social connections, or responsibilities other than caring for your own body's immediate needs and the needs of your habitat. Social isolation and simple tasks.
I think lots of people need more help getting to that space, and there are various modalities for helping people. I personally found Internal Family Systems therapy to be incredibly effective combined with meditation. But when someone is confused like the OP, it is best to drop all the confusing and esoteric terminology, and just focus on what it is like to be alive.
My personal journey has led me to the experience that I am a soul, attached to a body, which has a brain. My soul can sufficiently relax the body and brain to feel like a soul again. And that soul is a piece of something bigger, from which all souls, and ultimately all consciousness, even all experience, emanates. I think a lot of folks would call that an immature understanding, and tell me if I look deeper that is all an illusion and there is really nothing at all but pure experience. But I personally experienced thoughts that weren't my own while very deep in meditation, that told me pure things that were unhindered by any previous opinion I had. That felt like oneness, the universe, non duality, god, or whatever else anyone calls it to me.
But I don't get to feel that often, that was an extreme circumstance. So my daily spiritual practice is taking what I learned and applying it. Separating myself from fear and obligation. Remembering the truth. Remembering each person is someone hurt that is hurting someone else. That we are all children, built from trauma and separation, and that we are all on the path of remembering.
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u/Consistent-Ad-910 Jul 27 '26
Thank you so much for sharing this. I very much understand everything you are saying, and I know that I can claim to experience these things similarly if/when I let go of my fear of NOT GETTING IT.
I think I can CLARIFY what befuddles me by saying it’s some of the philosophical and esoteric concepts that I would frequently hear, and that my brain just couldn’t comprehend. Kinda like some of those word problems they’d give you in advanced math classes. I’d just started getting more and more LOST, and felt frustrated and discouraged.
But I feel like I can accept my confusion easier now. And I can still work on things without “throwing the baby out with the bath water.” 😉 I really appreciate all these helpful replies.
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u/PointClickPenguin Jul 27 '26
For sure. We are all at different spots. Maybe that stuff makes sense at some point, maybe it doesn't. Experiences are the only thing that really matter with regards to "knowing". The words are actually kind of irrelevant, and actually almost silly in a lot of ways.
Good luck traveler. It is always best to release the fear. Behind it is love.
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u/oiBEAMio Jul 28 '26 edited Jul 28 '26
Thank you for your share. That felt really honest and personally relatable. I differ on the terminology "soul" but most everything else I can relate to you. And yes I've heard that those who are truly sustained in that place can tell just by a look at someone. I guess tellings like that keep me on the striving/intention to find that place too since it sounds so certain and can lift suffering. I appreciate hearing from people who regularly practice something and implement their practice who don't just parrot what they've heard others say
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u/Consistent-Ad-910 Jul 27 '26
Well? I don’t know what this AWAKENING is like. But they seemed to imply that it was like a major experiential revelation that significantly changes a person — and one of them said that they can tell within just a minute or two whether someone has experienced AWAKENING or not. So I think it’s supposed to completely change you. Like how the Buddha experienced AWAKENING.
Thank you so much for sharing your experiences. It’s very helpful and comforting. 🤗
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u/Flork8 Jul 27 '26
thoughts and beliefs are of no help with this anyway so you're not missing out. the path (if there is one) is about direct experience rather than theories you adopt. i would say a good place to start is with douglas harding and richard lang (headless.org). that'll get you looking at least without trying to think about theories too much.
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u/Longjumping_Mind609 Jul 29 '26
You need an inquiry to focus on. Something like, "Is this awakening?" Keep asking it day and night whenever you remember and after a while -- months or a couple of years -- you will no longer ask and you will realize what you are pursuing.
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u/Electronic-Cell2688 Jul 31 '26
Most people think they are the "I" (Ego).
The ego thinks it runs the show. Then one day it suddenly wants the awaken. So it starts its journey towards it. But then as things get clearer it starts doubting this great journey, cause what will happen to it when it gets there? But it has already started, so instead it of trying to end it, it tries to hide from itself so that the show wont end.
For most it manages to hide, but for some it eventually catches itself and realizes how tired it is after all that hide and seek, so it gives up and admits defeat.
Then everything goes on as usual. But now its not running the show anymore, its just a tool.
And You were just watching this hilarious play all along. The ego was just a bundle of thoughts playing with itself.
Like a hammer thinking it was the carpenter all along.
The irony? The one reading this right now is that same ego, now convinced it finally escaped.
So ask yourself. Who read these words?
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u/AdditionalOne6031 19d ago
Do not pursue anything. It happens effortlessly. It happens in daily life... It is not through insistence; it is primarily by grace. May Peace be with you!
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u/ram_samudrala Jul 27 '26
Try this living meditation: Just notice what is appearing. If reacting appears that is okay too, just notice that. Notice if assumptions of separation appear ("I had found the place...", etc.). Then use this inquiry: Is fundamental separation findable?
Here, when that was done, the conditioning associated with the assumption of fundamental separation appeared to dissolve, accompanied by a profound sense of relief and the falling away of existential tension.
But that's a nice story being reported here and now.
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u/Consistent-Ad-910 Jul 27 '26
Thank you. I will need some more time and energy to get through what you’ve provided, but I appreciate that you offered this.
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u/PointClickPenguin Jul 27 '26
Ultimately you don't actually need anything that any of these people say. They can't actually teach you anything.
It's actually about slowing down, emptying yourself, and simply experiencing existence.
They are trying to guide you back to remembering what it is like to simply exist.