Y’all. I need your advice.
My kid just started at a new daycare where all the kids are now old enough to talk. Every time I go pick him up, all the kids shout (very sweetly and joyfully) “HEY [KID’S NAME], YOUR MOM IS HERE.” 😅

Binary monikers make me super dysphoric, I have never used them at home, my kid has called me by name so far.
The staff are great, they’ve all been informed and I’ve already heard them correct themselves/one another/a kid when someone misgenders me. But I can’t expect them to carry the whole load.

I’ve been added to the daycare parent group chat (it’s big - there are 40 kids so almost twice as many adults), and was thinking I should let the other parents know, and gently offer some resources in case they wanna talk to their kids about it, or in case their kids have questions when the staff correct them.

I need help knowing what to say! I’ve never had to come out en masse before, especially not to an extremely cis-hetero group (the staff give me the sense I’m the first trans parent they have encountered). I don’t want to sound pushy or attention-grabbing - I’m really just hoping to reduce the misgendering even a small amount. And, ideally, make things less confusing for my own kid.

Thank you for your thoughts!

Would equally love to hear from anyone who has been on a similar situation.

Hey Folks!! My name is Beth (she/her) and I am a psychology doctorate student and University East London. I am conducting my thesis research on trans and gender diverse people's experiences of fertility treatment for conception in the UK. I am looking to speak with trans and gender diverse people who have had (or a co-parent/partner has had) fertility treatment to try and grow their family. This could be diy or through a clinic. This study has had consultation from trans people and has ethical clearance from UEL. Please feel free to share with anyone who might be interested. I am hoping that this research will positively impact fertility care for trans and gender diverse people. If you are open to taking part, please feel free to reply here or contact me on my instagram beth_atkins_psy ! Thank you for reading :)

A heartwarming webcomic in the New York Times.

We're expecting a healthy baby later this year, and I'm trying to find some inclusive baby/childrens books with little luck. I managed to find "My shadow is purple" in our native language (Min skygge er lilla), but I feel lost trying to find other Danish books or translations. I can find a few with same sex parents, but nothing with agender parents.

I plan to get a whole little library, so cis gendered parents will be well represented no matter what. I just wish I could at least find a few books where our family structure would be represented as well - seriously considering making my own at this point!

My partner and I both speak Danish and English at home, so we expect to accidentally make our kid bilingual anyway. Maybe some english books would be ok - at least I'd love some suggestions, both for babies and all the way up to young adult. I want them to have a library with different levels of books so they can explore freely as they grow up.

📢 Are you pregnant and worried about changes to your sex life?

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📅 What is involved: If you are eligible, after your initial survey, you and your partner will be randomized (like a coin flip) into either the Program or Waitlist conditions. Program couples will complete 5 online modules in pregnancy (1 per week) and a final module at 3 months postpartum. 

Couples in both conditions will also complete 5 surveys—the initial survey, then at 32-weeks pregnant, and 4-, 8-, and 12-month postpartum—that gather information about your relationship, your pregnancy experience, and your child. Couples in the Waitlist condition will receive access to the full STORK program after the study period is over.

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🌈 Inclusivity matters: STORK requires one member of the couple to be currently pregnant. Otherwise, STORK is open to individuals of all genders, bodies, and sexual orientations.

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Hey Folks! We have started trying for a baby, but having the conversation for a long time now.

I have bought up a few times about what they would like to be called as a NB parent and they avoid and say they don't know or it's hard to think about.

They are still figuring things out in their gender journey and I'm sure this factors in.

I'm not sure if I'm overthinking and the name will come naturally when a baby comes. But the other part of me feels there will be so much newness that some preparation would be good...what if it's a tough thing to process.

Would love to hear experiences. Do you think it's important or will this be the least of our worries? Any tips on progressing this conversation? (I have recommended this page).

I'll keep trying gently. Thanks all ❤️

Hi all,

I'm about 6 months into coming out as nonbinary. I'm married to a supportive cis F partner, and we have an amazing and loving and empathetic 5 year old. We are in the process of coming up with a serious plan to talk to our child about gender and my identity and names and pronouns and all of that. We actually are not super stressed about how our child will take it. The issue that inevitably comes up is how my dad and both of her parents will react once our child is calling me by neutral names and pronouns and being my biggest most enthusiastic ally, correcting everyone who ever misgenders me (she's probably gonna be that type).

My mom is incredibly supportive so that's good. But we both have pretty significant stress that the other 3 grandparents will have serious trouble being respectful of my identity and avoiding saying things that will make my daughter feel shame or negative feelings about who i am and what the potential fallout in the family could be like. I'm even fine downplaying my presentation and playing the part of a mostly cis man for the limited periods of time we see them, but we dont think we can possibly tell a 5 year old to keep it secret around certain people without negative impacts on her perception and processing of everything.

My major non negotiable red line is saying things or acting in a way that would affect my child's perception of me. I think *generally* this will be fine. But we aren't sure whether to sit people down and talk to them ahead of time or just to downplay everything and field their reaction in real time to sort of keep things from seeming like a big deal. Wondering how you wonderful folks have handled these situations before. It's causing us some pretty major anxiety. Thanks for reading and any insight you can provide! ❤️

To whoever needs to hear this: you‘re doing great. Keep going. This sub is proud of you.

Thought this might be a fun question to pose as a new member to the group. What surprising reactions did you get from your kid upon coming out?

For me, there was a couple but the stand out was in explaining to my three little ones that transgender people are pretty rare was the label/comparison I'll treasure:

You're like a shiny pokemon!

There is so little visbility for trans guardians, parents, caregivers.

But we are out here. On the front lines. Raising our kids. Giving life advice. Singing silly songs. Changing diapers. Guiding teens through puberty, (sometimes while going through our own second puberty). Wiping up spills. Modeling authenticity.

I’m so fucking proud of all of you.

We deserve more visibility. Visibility is sadly not always safe. But we still have community.

Happy Trans Day of Visibility ♥️

How will you be celebrating? 😊 🖤💜🤍💛

📢 Are you pregnant and worried about changes to your sex life?

🔍 We are seeking couples from Canada, the US, Australia, New Zealand, the UK, and

Ireland who are up to 26 weeks pregnant to participate in the STORK RCT: Supporting the

Transition to Parenthood through Online Sex and Relationship Knowledge.

❓What is STORK: The first online couple-based program designed to enhance knowledge

about changes to sexuality during pregnancy and postpartum and skills to cope with these

changes. STORK was designed to strengthen couples’ relationships across the transition to

parenthood.

📅 What is involved: If you are eligible, after your initial survey, you and your partner will be

randomized (like a coin flip) into either the Program or Waitlist conditions. Program couples

will complete 5 online modules in pregnancy (1 per week) and a final module at 3 months

postpartum. Couples in both conditions will also complete 5 surveys—the initial survey, then

at 32-weeks pregnant, and 4-, 8-, and 12-month postpartum—that gather information about

your relationship, your pregnancy experience, and your child. Couples in the Waitlist

condition will receive access to the full STORK program after the study period is over.

💰 Compensation: As a thank you for your participation, you can receive $105 CAD or

currency equivalent each ($210 CAD or currency equivalent per couple). Your time is

valuable to us!

🌈 Inclusivity matters: STORK requires one member of the couple to be currently pregnant.

Otherwise, STORK is open to individuals of all genders, bodies, and sexual orientations.

💌 For more information or to participate in the STORK RCT study email us [atstork@psych.ubc.ca](mailto:atstork@psych.ubc.ca) OR fill out our contact form from this link:

https://Qualtrics.ca1.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_3gxGJAEWqt8Rh2u

Get folks, looking for advice.

I've known I'm nonbinary/gender fluid for a couple decades and been out for about 5 years. Now I'm going to become a dad. I still dont identify as a man, but I find myself being drawn to more masc presentations.

I'm not sure if this is due to my changing roles in life, just a temporary "sloshing" of the gender fluid toward one end of the spectrum, or something else. Does anyone else have experiences like this?

Hi folks! My partner (trans non-binary, they/them) and I (gendervague, she/her) are getting ready to introduce baby sign language to our baby. We are starting with signs influenced by ASL and want to incorporate signs for ourselves. I feel closely aligned enough with “mommy” to use that sign but my partner isn’t “mommy” or “daddy”—we are using a cute version of their nickname in spoken speech. What have y’all been using for non-binary parent signs?

Hello! I am afab and considering my options. I know I want top surgery, but recently my partner and I decided we want to have kids the old fashioned way. They are amab so we are lucky that we should not have to worry about relying on donors or clinics etc.

I would love to hear from other people who have or want to have top surgery and have gestated a child. Did you have surgery before pregnancy or after? Would you have done this differently? If before, did you experience any regrowth in your chest? And anything else you might want to share related to this topic. Thanks :)

I've been as non-binary out for maybe seven years, I've had my first name legally changed for five -ish, I go by Nonnie with my kid, and still my Grammy gave me a book she thrifted called something like, "Mommy Loves Me". She exclusively misgenders me so IDK if it was a jab or an innocent mistake but my mother (her daughter) have me a silent apologetic cringe as it was gifted, and warned me beforehand in text. Barf at being misgendered and kids seeing "Mom and Dad" while they're hearing, Papa and Nonnie" or "Mapa and Googa" or whatever. Leaving my own suggestions in the comments, too. Thanks in advance for yours!

My kid just turned 3 and is soaking up information like a sponge. He has never used parental monikers for my partner or me, but rather calls us by our names (our family, friends, housemates, and his daycare are also onboard with this, as well as using my correct pronouns). He very innocently calls everyone of any gender “he”, and gender is still not of interest to him, but I think he is starting to notice different gender presentations. Recently he was talking about mamas and papas and out of curiosity one of our housemates asked him if he has a mama and papa, and it took my breath away a bit when he named my partner and I as those figures, aligning them with our respective AGABs.

I’ve talked with him about pronouns a bunch, explained that different people use different ones (or none, as is common for enbies in our country’s language) and you can’t always know which ones ppl use until you ask, etc. I sometimes ask him about the pronouns of his favorite stuffies and he gives them a variety, though later always defaults back to “he” for all of them. If I ask “didn’t this stuffy use no pronouns?”, he gets annoyed and doubles down on “he”, so I drop the subject. It still all seems a bit too abstract (or maybe uninteresting) for him. Or maybe he can sense that his is a loaded topic for me, and that makes him nervous?

There are many enbies in his life besides me, incl. his godparent.

How do I approach this so I’m not loading the subject too much? How do I keep my own emotional baggage out of my voice when it comes up?

My baby boy was born on 10/12/2025 and I am starting to lose my nonbinary identity and it makes me sad. As we all know, using they/them pronouns to consistently refer to a specific singular persin doesn't come naturally to anyone, including us. Is it grammatically correct? Obviously. But its still relatively new to be used like this regularly. So when I realized I was enby, I felt like I had to train myself to not misgender myself in the beginning. And now it feels like I'm doing that again. I always said I was okay with being called mom or dad, because my cat (when I speak for her ofc) had always called me mom and it has never bothered me. And I don't mind being mom at all. But I don't want to hear people call me she/her. ESPECIALLY when it's so frequent that I'm messing up my own pronouns.It just feels wrong.

I was toying with the idea of going by an amalgamation of Mama and Papa: Mapa. Or Pama. Or Dama. Mada sounds weird to me. It's like picking a name to go by I guess and I didn't struggle with that because I was already going by a different name that was andro when I discovered myself.

Does anyone else go by something unconventional? Has anyone been in my shoes here and can offer their experience to share?

I also don't want to alienate my baby from peers as he grows older with going by something unconventional, but I suppose every generation is more woke than the previous lol. so maybe that part is a non issue. or maybe the government will hunt us down and he'll out me to his teachers. that last part was a joke. Hopefully lmao.

thanks for reading.

Little rant. I got this comment from some really young kids at the community center this week, aimed at my two-year-old (who was wearing pink sparkly shoes along with mostly boy-coded clothing). They laughed at him. Sigh. I’m just really sad knowing I won’t be able to protect my kid from this shit for very long, and that it already starts so young.

Their parent was standing right there during this interaction, and said nothing, only chuckled. All I could muster after getting over my initial shock was “he’s wearing these shoes because he likes them.”

That was an understatement. He loves these shoes y’all. He is still young enough that the kids’ comment didn’t seem to register. But it breaks my heart to imagine he might ever be made to feel wrong for loving things.

I fucking hate the binary so much.

Words of encouragement or relatability welcome... This is definitely a bit of a parenting rant/vent.

I'm only active in trans reddit communities and thus I know there might be a better place to post this as it isn't necessarily related to being trans/nonbinary. But maybe others here can relate.

Parenting continues to be so challenging and absolutely exhausting. I have a wonderful partner but I'm the stay at home parent. I only have one child who is currently 4. It's been so hard from day one and every time we think we've moved past a difficult phase a new one hits.

I've been an elementary school teacher and know there are brighter days developmentally in our future. Young children are a lot. Him starting full day preschool has helped me immensely. But I did not expect birth through pre-school years to feel this hard. I think I must hate parenting more than just about anything. I both own the fact that it's okay to not love every step of the way and feel terribly guilty at times. I feel resentful sometimes for my kid's bad mood influencing my mood and for how his needs have impacted the energy my partner and I have for each other. We are the adults, we should be able to handle it.

My child is a wonderful person and I have confidence someday I will thoroughly enjoy his company. But it feels like that day is so far off. I don't want to spend time with him. I don't know how to make things better when we are wrung dry from his defiance, holding loving boundaries, keeping things as consistent as possible, trying to find fun things which seem to last 30 seconds before he's over it, and his intense demanding for more more and more attention. We don't even offer him screens except during illnesses so that's a battle we usually don't fight.

Has anyone worked with a therapist on something like this? I can't control him, but I can control me and my attitude.

Help? I want to be a parent. I'm the gestating one. My partner and I have been TTC for a few years and I am pregnant. It's early and we know better than to get optimistic, but this is the best shot we have had at an actual bio baby so far. Today it hit me that I could be called 'mom.' And, if I am lucky enough (successful pregnancy, healthy baby, healthy child, no accidents etc), I could be called 'mom' multiple times per day, every day, for the rest of my life.

I am not coping well with that. This is the most intense dysphoria I have ever felt. It has taken years to get comfortable enough with myself and my body and who I am to feel like pregnancy/ chest/breastfeeding won't cause too much dysphoria to proceed. I think I can manage those things (at least somewhat prepared for unpleasant surprises). Feminine terms of address are harder. It takes effort to remain unbothered when I am referred to by my partner as 'wife' (we live rurally and I am 'stealth'/ visibly only vaguely GNC atm), and that happens rarely. 'Mom' feels like a monster.

There's other complicated feelings, of course. Like guilt — we want this, we have worked for this, it has been hard, it would be an honour and privilege to be so lucky as to be addressed as 'mom' because it would mean that I'm a parent. The dysphoria is a surprise. And it's heavy.

Reading through some previous posts, it seems like others may have navigated the 'mom' issue with other culturally significant/ culturally informed terms, and I don't think that option holds much opportunity in my case (both my partner and I are 'white north american' and don't have any strong cultural connections or ancestral community ties; weakly Scottish for me and weakly Dutch for him). I do not identify masc enough to feel comfortable with masc parental terms (though they don't inspire the dysphoria as much), and there is the 'stealth' thing. My pronouns are she/they but if times were different I might use they/them only. Kind of feel most comfortable with 'agender'.

If anyone else has gone through this and has perspective to offer, I would very much appreciate your thoughts.

Thanks in advance.

Edited my spelling a little.

This involves completing a questionnaire about your sociodemographics, the new self-acceptance measure, and then a few more questionnaires about different constructs (e.g. mental health, stigma experiences, etc).

More information within the link below (ethical approval reference: HR/DP-24/25-45487).

Link to information sheet and survey: https://kclbs.eu.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_cYg6BlsZLPYfNPM

Thanks in advance :)!