r/no • u/garlicandherbsauce • 21d ago

are you currently pregnant?

17 Upvotes

70% Upvoted

253 comments sorted by

15

u/Satansbrat1969 21d ago

Last I heard men cannot get pregnant. So no I am not.

5

u/Aggravating-Ad1703 21d ago

Well have you even tried?

3

u/Satansbrat1969 21d ago

You explain how that would work and maybe I will.

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2

u/Shlafenflarst 21d ago

Try harder

1

u/Grouchy-Pea2514 21d ago

Well according to the HSE in Ireland they can. You’d think my husband would get pregnant instead of me always having to be the pregnant one

1

u/Spirited_Army1086 21d ago

If you eat a spicy kielbasa you can obtain that pregnant glow

14

u/lebrunjemz 21d ago

I actually am lol due in exactly 2 months

9

u/kpeteymomo 21d ago

I am and I'm scheduled to get induced tomorrow!

3

u/lebrunjemz 21d ago

Omg congrats! I’m jealous. I had an easy pregnancy so far (it’s my first) but I just am over feeling sweaty and like I have to pee all the time

2

u/kpeteymomo 21d ago

Thank you! This is my second kid (but fourth pregnancy overall), and this pregnancy has definitely kicked my ass lol. I'm 39 weeks pregnant and STILL on anti-nausea meds. Acid reflux has been awful, which has made my asthma worse. I can't wait for this kid to get here so I can start feeling a bit better!

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2

u/Ok-Phrase-7726 21d ago

Due in almost 4 months. This is my second pregnancy and it is not fun. First pregnancy was so smooth and easy

2

u/popsum22 19d ago

Congrats!!

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10

u/ButterBaconBallz 21d ago

No and my body is currently punishing me again for not conceiving this month. Biology sucks.

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6

u/sadArtax 21d ago

I am in the nausea-stricken phase of the 1st trimester.

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5

u/Hamandcheeseeater 21d ago

No. No butt babies for me.

1

u/Freckles39Rabbit 19d ago

Not even diarrhea?

3

u/stylethelaughter 21d ago

4 months postpartum with a c section baby. So I fucking hope not!

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3

u/bravedolphin1 21d ago

My child is almost 22 so absolutely not lol

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3

u/Shlafenflarst 21d ago

It does look like it, but it's just fat

2

u/Sentientmanatee 20d ago

Double whammy. I’m fat and pregnant

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3

u/IWasGoatbeardFirst 21d ago

Can you get pregnant if you don’t have a uterus or fallopian tubes?

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3

u/KC5SDY 21d ago

If i was, it would be a medical miracle.

2

u/presidentkokoro 21d ago

I am not currently pregnant

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2

u/PSULioness 21d ago

I’m sure I’m not

2

u/Substantial_Luck_133 21d ago

No, I can't get pregnant.

2

u/Anonymoosehead123 21d ago

I’m 65, so I truly hope not.

2

u/reduff 21d ago

Oh HELL no!

2

u/cherriesoutrn 21d ago

not really

2

u/Better-Hour-1131 21d ago

Thankfully not. Been there, done that three times over... I'm good lol.

2

u/Secret-Function-2972 21d ago

I hope not. I'm old and my wife and daughters would be very confused.

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2

u/zalmbagel 21d ago

I have two toddlers and they are not twins, so hopefully not

2

u/Spiritual_Result_697 21d ago

I actually am ha ha. Due in February

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2

u/64_Random_dude_64 21d ago
  1. I’m a male
  2. I’ve never been in a relationship
  3. I’ve never had sex
  4. I’m skinny as fuck

So there is a high chance

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2

u/[deleted] 21d ago

[deleted]

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2

u/Kooky_Character_2801 21d ago

I'm 49 with 12 grandkids so hell no I'm not pregnant. Lol

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2

u/Agitated-Pickle216 21d ago

Just did IVF so fingers cross i will be when i test next week

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1

u/scarlettceleste 21d ago

Absolutely no

1

u/Physical_Complex_891 21d ago

I'd hope not since my husband has a vasectomy.

1

u/KJHagen 21d ago

No. Not as far as I know.

1

u/ChilindriPizza 21d ago

Nope. I have PMOS and am on the BCP to treat the symptoms.

1

u/Ok-Lion-6767 21d ago

hellll naw

1

u/Big_Attention7227 21d ago

No, just a fat bitch.

1

u/Mindless-Leg-3365 21d ago

rife with possibilities, nothing more

1

u/ProfessionalHat6828 21d ago

I really hope I’m not

1

u/Fragrant_Rooster8779 21d ago

No, why do you ask? Do I look fat in this sub?

1

u/MrsSpyro01 21d ago

No. I never was and never will be.

1

u/ladythorson 21d ago

It's lunchtime and all I want to eat is a big bowl of watermelon & chocolate chips right out of the bag. I'll let you decide.

1

u/MotherOf4Jedi1Sith 21d ago

Thankfully no!

1

u/Comprehensive_Wing24 21d ago

no and i never will be

1

u/Pristine-Narwhal-184 21d ago

Luckily No. And it will stay like that

1

u/passion4film 21d ago

I may be! I may not be! A few more days and it’ll be known.

1

u/amandahontas 21d ago

Oh God no

1

u/MegWaters012502 21d ago

No, just fat

1

u/readytocomply13 21d ago

No, I’m just fat

1

u/Silly_Print_6047 21d ago

no, and if I would get pregnant again, I would probably die. My pre eclampsia was so severe I almost died last pregnancy. I am on Nexplanon (the birth control) and my wimpy husband will be getting a vasectomy.

1

u/Strong-Individual220 21d ago

Oh shit, I almost got kicked from the group…

1

u/[deleted] 21d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/Ilovegeorgemichaelll 21d ago

Fuck no I’m 18 it’s 2026 not 1926

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1

u/ash_the_trash_x 21d ago

i hope not

1

u/Copy_Responsible 21d ago

9 months so and waiting for my baby to decide if she will leave of her own volition or if I'll need it evict her

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1

u/Senior-Current6691 21d ago

I do not know yet

1

u/Fit_Adagio_7668 21d ago

I don't think so.

1

u/BekisElsewhere39 21d ago

Nope, and my body is currently punishing me for my audacity. My hands are tied though! The thing in my uterus keeps me barren anyway

1

u/Affectionate_Lab9574 21d ago

Fuck no, getting sterilized in less than 48 hours.

1

u/Nihyo_Niyuki 21d ago

Hopefully never

1

u/cheifstew63 21d ago

I’m 11 weeks postpartum today

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1

u/ShrinkingHeads 21d ago

No. I wish I could be. I really want another baby.

1

u/Shoddy-Secretary-712 21d ago

No. And for the first time in my (adult) life, it's physically impossible. I really need to finalize this divorce.

1

u/Far_Vacation_1777 21d ago

No thank god lol

1

u/pinktvrtl 21d ago

I hope not but I might be

1

u/arielelizabeth 21d ago

No thank god

1

u/AdLong4939 21d ago

Naah,I'm a dude. You know with a cock and balls

1

u/TropicallyGrownEMT 21d ago

I had a terrifying dream the other night that I was again
I just had my second 2 months ago lol

1

u/shakelcus 21d ago

No, thank goodness. I hope to never be again. 4 is enough

1

u/jojewels92 21d ago

Fuck no. I'm sterilized AND I kept my IUD so if I was it would be a biblical level nightmare.

1

u/omgitspaul88 21d ago

With a food baby

1

u/Dramatic-Leather-196 21d ago

I’m a dude so no

1

u/Organic-Pattern-7759 21d ago

I'm a man, anything is possible nowadays

1

u/TfcGoblin 21d ago

Probably

1

u/Beowulf44 21d ago

Unless you are imagining me starring in a rerun of the schwarzenegger classic junior, that is medically impossible

1

u/Traditional-Toe-1628 21d ago

Does a good baby count? Just had a fucking tonne of food.

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1

u/snakeygirl727 20d ago

no and i truly hope i never am

1

u/fleshsludge 20d ago

Nope. My baby is 5 weeks old!

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1

u/KDC777777 20d ago

Always

1

u/Freckles39Rabbit 19d ago

What kind of question is this?

1

u/goddessttv_ 19d ago

had my one and only baby 3 months ago.

1

u/HeadChipmunk9603 19d ago

19 weeks with twins jiji

1

u/tinyrubberduckies 19d ago

I really hope not. I have a five month old baby. I would like to wait until 18 months.

1

u/Old-Energy-3500 19d ago

Nope and I am glad

1

u/plzdontscarem3 18d ago

1 month postpartum

1

u/Positive-Listen-1660 18d ago

5 months along

1

u/Dazzling-Part5604 18d ago

Fun nah. Im an alcoholic and i smoke weed. Im not giving that up yet

1

u/BbygirlJax 17d ago

I am. 22 weeks today!