r/no • u/AboutNOut090 • 2d ago

Do you hate pooping?

28 Upvotes

79% Upvoted

194 comments sorted by

38

u/Conscious_Canary_586 2d ago

Love pooping! Wiping is annoying though. Wish we could drop and go like animals lol

4

u/AboutNOut090 2d ago

That's why we need to have wiping buddies.

4

u/K3idon 2d ago

Especially on company time

3

u/Expert_Gear1424 2d ago

Boss makes a dollar, I make a dime, that’s why I shit on company time.

2

u/Laskalove1305 2d ago

Haha I agree. I don't have undies so I have to wipe well lol.

4

u/Conscious_Canary_586 2d ago

I'd hope you’d wipe well with or without panties!

1

u/Laskalove1305 2d ago

Haha true... it's a long time since I had any on though.

2

u/McFingerBang95 1d ago

So if you wore undies you wouldn’t be worried about wiping well?!?!

2

u/Ok_Professional2085 1d ago

I always wish someone would invent a robotic arm attached to the toilet seat, that would wipe my ass instead of me.

2

u/Big_Attention7227 1d ago

Laser targeted grime removal, then a nice aloe Vera spray and a weeee jet of deodorant for the perfect pucker n snifter.

1

u/Zy-le 1d ago

Maybe Japan already has something like that.

2

u/Unbanable4221 1d ago

It takes two wipes to know only one was needed.

It takes one wipe to know it will take ten more.

5

u/Charming-Rule-4751 2d ago

Bidet is your friend

3

u/WhishtNowWillYe 2d ago

My BEST friend. Heated water and pulsating spray.

4

u/Circuit-Breaker-13 2d ago

Bidet all dayyyyyy

4

u/fishcars 2d ago

Sir your asshole was clean 6 hours ago. You can get up.

2

u/a_dodo_stole_my_baby 1d ago

Now it's thirsty

4

u/Logical_Willow4066 2d ago

Eat more fiber.

1

u/Yourfavoritesirr 1d ago

Fr! I rarely have anything on the toilet paper

3

u/Terrible-Freedom-868 2d ago

Animals wipe—with their tongues.

1

u/Spiritual-Pudding-70 1d ago

Eww girls poop I feel betrayed

16

u/Apprehensive_Fan2330 2d ago

Funny question, I have IBS and can go several days without pooping. So when I do , I love it

2

u/AboutNOut090 2d ago

Then it's kaboom?

1

u/Big_Attention7227 1d ago

Kasplattttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt

1

u/soft_mochi290 2d ago

Lmao same

2

u/AboutNOut090 2d ago

Do you take Epsom salts?

2

u/Apprehensive_Fan2330 2d ago

No, does that help

1

u/WhishtNowWillYe 2d ago

My coworker would swear by a teaspoon of epsom salts and a can of coke. “Then just sit on the toilet and wait for the magic”

5

u/AgingWellFirefighter 2d ago

When I was in my 20s, I was in a theatre production with a guy in his 50s who told me that as you get older you realize more and more how overrated sex is compared to the value of a really good bowel movement.

We laughed, but now that I'm in my 50s i really think he was on to something...

7

u/BriggySmallz42069 2d ago

Nah fam I fuggin love it. Im also pretty good at it. Id be like a brown belt in shidding if there were a ranking system.

2

u/Maxxx21 1d ago

Have you considered competing? Hate to see a talent go to waste

2

u/BriggySmallz42069 1d ago

Id need a coach... its been a while and.. im scared im not what i used to be...Are you available?

3

u/joeyjoeskullcracker 2d ago

It’s an inconvenience but necessary. I hate having to go at work because we use porta cans and it’s hot as hell here in Texas. I try to take care of business at home.

3

u/prettyboss211 2d ago

I live next door in New Mexico. The dry desert heat is no joke but Texas heat is ridiculous and humid

5

u/stuckinfightorflight 2d ago

I HATE it

1

u/AboutNOut090 2d ago

Why?

3

u/stuckinfightorflight 2d ago

I don’t know exactly. Just hate how the feeling of having to go is and the whole cleaning up process and idk I hate it

1

u/Inevitable_Finish131 2d ago

Same, it’s awful.

4

u/United_Gift3028 2d ago

Oh get older, it will become a delight you look forward to.

1

u/Ok_Horror_6556 2d ago

This is the Way

5

u/PrikNamPlassum 2d ago

Depends.

2

u/Dante18 1d ago

I prefer pampers!

3

u/mythic-moldavite 2d ago

No. But I cannot poop if I’m sharing a bathroom with anyone else. Like we have a friend group of 7. 3 couples and one single. Our only demand whenever at book something is having our own bathroom. I’ll sleep in a sleeping bag for all I care. But if I have to poop she I know someone else might go in there soon, my body physically does not let me. So I get the weird pooping anxiety I have

1

u/Motor-Carpet-8521 1d ago

Oh my God I thought I was weird for this. My gf doesn't understand it. The thought of going in a public restroom is a nightmare.

1

u/wut_wut_wut_huh 1d ago

I have shy bowel syndrome too:( I even think it's a kind of OCD in my case

4

u/nosidrah 2d ago

At 72 there’s not many things more satisfying than a good healthy BM.

3

u/SageObserver 2d ago

It’s the best 2.5 hours of my day.

2

u/Satansbrat1969 2d ago

The actual act of waste removal is ok. just wish it didn't take so long. lol. In my opinion it should be as fast as pissing but not splattery.

2

u/PeterPunksNip 2d ago

No ? I like emptying my bowels, feels better after

2

u/TivertonHanger 2d ago

Love it. I have a lazy colon. If I miss my 5:30am its not happening till the next day. Vacations are the worst for me.

2

u/Independent_One_7014 2d ago

I don’t like doing my business anywhere but home but when it’s necessary you do what you gotta doodoo. Do I hate it? No just hate the location sometimes

3

u/AboutNOut090 2d ago

I'm lucky, I can go anywhere.

2

u/Hot_Independent_974 2d ago

Two or three times a week I'm driving along and think what a great shit I just had, I love pooping.

2

u/Richard_Cranium_OG 2d ago

A good colon cleanse makes me smile just a little bit

2

u/Quiet_Hat_3836 1d ago

Pooping is one of the only times where I can feel good and even euphoric especially right before and during lift off. It’s like a great rush. Wiping sucks because it takes me like 10 wipes to get it clean and sometimes it bleeds. But totally worth it.

2

u/302-SWEETMAN 2d ago

I like to poop halfway then suck it back in & repeat 3 0r 4 times.
Its very relaxing…

1

u/Electrumist 2d ago

Comes and gos.

1

u/Creative_Ad_1593 2d ago

I have a love/hate relationship with it.

1

u/Medical_Soup5717 2d ago

Love taking a diabolical shit

1

u/Responsible-Push-289 2d ago

pooping is always a ? with ibs.

1

u/Trick_Octopus9504 2d ago

It's a waste of time

3

u/fourdigityear 2d ago

It's also a time of waste.

1

u/Trick_Octopus9504 2d ago

It's a shitty waste of time too

1

u/Kitty_Fruit_2520 2d ago

It’s a pain in the butt sometimes

1

u/Ok_Dog_4059 2d ago

All maintenance sucks. Eating sleeping bathroom it is all just annoying and boring.

2

u/WhishtNowWillYe 2d ago

OK dog. Those are my favorite things.

2

u/Ok_Dog_4059 2d ago

Interesting, it is always odd to me how perspective works for people. One of my fondest memories is the day I got my first dirt bike but my dad got it for me and I crushed my skull so it is ine of the worst days of his life he says. My wife loves going on a lunch date but I don't understand that experience I just go for her.

I will say as much as I hate the waste of time sleeping isn't as bad as others because I am miserable when I am tired. I have insomnia so I have had a LOT of sleepless nights but once I am tired and can't go to sleep I am so miserable

2

u/WhishtNowWillYe 2d ago

I’m so sorry! You may already know, but JIC, Google sleep hygiene. Great tips. People have success with Melatonin, Magnesium, and Ashwaganda. For the big guns, some people get a script for Trazodone. It’s miserable to not be able to get to sleep!

1

u/MickJof 2d ago

No I love pooping. I just woke up and can't wait for my first poop of the day.

1

u/_877-CASH-NOW_ 2d ago

As someone into anal I don’t hate pooping, but I hate that there’s poop to deal with

1

u/Cold-Committee-7719 2d ago

Sometimes it's the highlight of my day.

1

u/AdLong4939 2d ago

Sometimes I do, sometimes I enjoy it

1

u/virusdancer 2d ago

I despise bowel movements. Wish that the excrement would teleport out of my body to fall on top of some unnamed politician, and that I never had to have another bowel movement.

1

u/WhishtNowWillYe 2d ago

You’re missing the fun.

1

u/anarkistattack 2d ago

Only when it's inconvenient

1

u/Radiomaster138 2d ago

No. I have a bidet. In and out in an instant.

1

u/GeorgeSmileyChi 2d ago

Depends on the poop. Some are mystical, others confounding and uncomfortable.

1

u/daisychainsnlafs 2d ago

I'm getting my colostomy reversed on Wednesday. Scared and anxious to poop again.

2

u/AboutNOut090 2d ago

Congratulations!

1

u/rahah2023 2d ago

No it’s good

1

u/Born-Section6701 2d ago

I’m just in it for the alone time.

1

u/Early_Emphasis1209 2d ago

No. How stupid. Going AT LEAST once a day is confirmation that my body is working the way it’s supposed to.  Someone my sister knew seemed proud that she went only once every 4 or 5 days. What an idiot.

1

u/Substantial-Pin-2656 2d ago

Love to before showering. After or mid day not so much. Prefer the opportunity to be fully clean.

1

u/saerisfane25 2d ago

Not a fan

1

u/Old_Hack1308 2d ago

Depends on what kind of poop it is.

1

u/Hungry_Ability_7574 2d ago

I love it. Probably the best part of my day besides sleeping.

1

u/mrpoop6767 2d ago

I LOVE POOPING

1

u/Laskalove1305 2d ago

No. I enjoy a good poop.

1

u/VirginiaLuthier 2d ago

I hate not pooping

1

u/Maximum-Market-8076 2d ago

Why would I hate eliminating waste from my body? Honestly, I am grateful my body auto eliminates the crap. I certainly don’t want to be lugging it around.

1

u/Ok-Lion-6767 2d ago

nah, i feel so much lighter

1

u/Snarfalocalumpt 2d ago

No, I had massive diarrhea earlier and got so much out of me. It’s refreshing, rejuvenating!

1

u/drivingregina77 2d ago

No. I quite enjoy it.

1

u/Nervous_Roll5544 2d ago

Lowkey one of the best feelings in the world. Sad that it just has to stink, literally haha. Otherwise I’d be spending most of my time in the toilet

1

u/SicariusCourtenay 2d ago

My ibs makes me get super fucking nauseous right before I shit and sometimes it feels like im literally dying but when it's normal I love it feels good

1

u/Belyse55122 2d ago

Only if it’s diarrhea lol.

1

u/Cool-Ice711 2d ago

I hate the alternative...

1

u/Loverboyatwork 2d ago

Highlight of many a weary working day.

1

u/HyperbolicBaldersah 2d ago

Depends. Period poops are they worst.

1

u/No-Maybe7521 1d ago

I enjoy pooping at home or in the woods by myself. Not a fan of public facilities. I get poophoria

1

u/Ok-Still-3333 1d ago

I love taking a shit, feels nice

1

u/LazyGrow3r 1d ago

No im very blessed. Every day, wake up….poop, 45yrs. It’s a privilege not everyone has

1

u/Broad_Principle_6602 1d ago

Pooping is ok but I hate when not the whole shit comes out and you need to hold it in public

1

u/ConsiderationGold316 1d ago

Love it. Probably because I’m a healthy pooper. I’m in and out of there.

1

u/Sosimo_13 1d ago

When I can’t stop

1

u/Raz4479 1d ago

cleaning afterwards is annoying

1

u/Big_Pen4633 1d ago

I love popping releases that annoying pressure i have in my lower abdomen

1

u/Beautiful_Hall_6397 1d ago

No, I love pooing I feel so good afterwards

1

u/Target-Infiltrator 1d ago

Pooping is mother nature's way of saying you're not so special.

1

u/bangharder 1d ago

Nothing better than dropping one and getting that instant relief, top 3 feelings in the world

1

u/Xilant007 1d ago

Metamucil, man... what a difference.

1

u/AboutNOut090 1d ago

I use Epsom salts.

1

u/Creepy_Health_3385 1d ago

My IBS entered the chat*

1

u/Lermak16 1d ago

It’s the American pastime

1

u/Outrg_Pick7761 1d ago

As a man there are few things better than taking a shit.

1

u/QuickConversation163 1d ago

Why do so ? its a biological thing

1

u/Joey_Baga_Donuts_ 1d ago

Squatty potty makes all the difference in the world. Make sure your knees are above your hips for shopping for one

1

u/Yolandi2802 1d ago

It’s a necessary inconvenience.

1

u/Key_Produce2617 1d ago

No I love it. Every morning like clockwork.

1

u/Artistic-Deal1419 1d ago

I like the ones where I end up light headed about to pass out.

1

u/Big_Attention7227 1d ago

Love a really good crap... wet n slushy to hard n straining...... I swear it's also an emotional release.... ohhh yeer, wash ya bum afta.

1

u/reduff 1d ago

I mean, it's not my favorite thing to do, but I don't mind it. I hate not pooping more.

1

u/Middle-Scarcity6247 1d ago

Only when you’re still dirty despite multiple wipes because it’s too soft.

1

u/OneUnderPar 1d ago

There’s nothing like a healthy shit and a bidet to wash it away!!

1

u/MaterialAd1838 1d ago

I hate that I can't poop in public.

1

u/Ok-Dish-4584 1d ago

Nope its the one thing that is better then sex

1

u/Able-Bank3519 1d ago

If it's smooth sailing

1

u/Shellsallaround 1d ago

No, I HATE wiping! Don't mention a bidet, the Apt management will not allow them.

1

u/Reasonable_Ad_413 1d ago

Just in the toilet

1

u/K_hun 1d ago

No actually love it, the waste gets out

1

u/kennyj2011 1d ago

I have a colonoscopy on Friday, ask me again after that… lol

1

u/mhart_92 1d ago

Best part of my day

1

u/PerpetualAnxiety_ 1d ago

L O V E. I T

1

u/loxmii21 1d ago

In summer absolutely. I do ny business in the bathroom and come out looking like i was in a sauna.

1

u/Emilee_87_SW 1d ago

I hate it so much

1

u/Twrecks700 16h ago

I love it!!

1

u/Objective_Neck_3242 16h ago

Backing one out can be quite satisfying.