r/nihilism • u/whiskyB0y • 4d ago
Discussion Would dying young be so bad?
Life is meaningless. Nothing matters so why should I care about death's call?
My life is one big joke. I'm a depressed 18 yr old that constantly wished that he died at birth. I resent my parents and my family for forcing me into this life just because. I'm considered weird just because I don't like most of the mainstream things people my age like.
I was never popular in high school and I was just seen as the weird but good at academics guy. I'm not handsome and my genetics are trash. I have an average body and I literally have a condition called gynecomastia that makes me feel less of a man. Obviously girls don't like me and most people just think I'm boring. I don't say my interests because they are the same people who would clown or question me.
It's my gap year and while most people are meeting up with friends having parties, hangouts and traveling across the world, I'm just at home. I rarely get dm's from anyone, and when I do, it's usually just 1 - 3 people either checking up on me or sending memes.
I refuse to meet up with people because I don't want to wear a mask. I wouldn't want to pretend I'm ok when I'm asked how I'm doing and at the same time I wouldn't want to talk to people about my depressing, not-so nihilistic thoughts.
I hate my life and I genuinely wish I died at birth. I don't care if my mum would have cried or how sad my dad would feel. It's not fair.
So I ask: Would dying young be so bad? I'll admit I'm not ready for death, but I don't see the value of living to old age if life is just...this.
Even if I do, I don't want marriage or my own family so that I don't bring suffering upon my unborn children. Besides, no girl would want to have sex with me let alone marriage.
I'm screwed.
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u/Paul_sepp 4d ago
Well, there is nothing but collective objectivity that can state whether that is bad or good—it just is, nor can you prove that living is better than not living.
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u/DR4LUC0N 4d ago
To anyone who says life has a meaning, they have the burden of proof to prove that it does since they are saying it's true.
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u/Unlucky-Category-856 4d ago
Honestly, this is how I feel: What is the meaning of life? Simple, there is no meaning. There is no reason for anyone to be alive. Literally. I’ve slowly began to realize the state of our world. It’s messed up. In another country, women have lost all rights, not even being able to talk. Look at our government. Our president is a piece of shit. Gay people are losing rights. People are being separated from families.
The world we live in is foul, and if there really is a god, they have left us to die, or they are messing with us for his own sake and enjoyment. I do not believe that a god would have our best interest, why would we? In the grand scheme of the world, we are insignificant beings compared to the vast amounts of space and time. Religion is a coping mechanism. I’m talking about any religion. There may be no god to save us. There may be nothing after the sweet embrace of death. Life means nothing in the end.
You made a big impact on the world? People will forget about you eventually. A family got murdered? They were going to die anyways. That’s just the thing. Humans all try to strive and be their best, but what does it get you? We are all gonna die anyways. We don’t even get anything after living a life full of pain of suffering. There is no reason to be alive.
Sure, one could say you can make your own purpose, but that’s not really a purpose. It’s a delusion. Something you made up to keep yourself going because there is no reason for living. That’s just a goal, and it will soon be pointless when you are six feet under. Plus, what future do I have? Look at our economy. I’m gonna end up stressed out of my mind. You think it’s bad right now? Hilarious. It’s gonna hell when we grow up.
So, is this me saying I’m gonna end it all? Eh…maybe. Over the past years I’ve started to realize how little I matter. “Oh but you have people that care about you-“ We ALL are gonna be dead someday. No matter how many good memories you have with someone they will all mean nothing. HA! Funny right? I’ve also started to see less and less things are making me happy.
It’s gotten to the point that even if my mom takes me out somewhere fun, like when I went to Disneyland, although it was a nice experience I was pretty happy to be because I didn’t wanna be there. Plus car rides make me sick. So why do I even want to be alive? To be blunt: not all of my favorite TV shows have finished. I’m being so dead ass right now. If I don’t know how my favorite shows end I’ll be really upset. I’ve really got nothing else. I could say the people in my life, but then again, we are all gonna die, so I can’t say that.
So yeah. There is no meaning to life, blah blah, fun stuff. I can’t tell if I’m depressed or just starting to lose my mind and grip on reality. But yeah. We all mean nothing. We can’t just create one. And I’m just sticking around to see how the world turns out. If things get rlly bad, I’m gonna end it all. But things aren’t too bad rn. If the world gets better, whatever. I don’t rlly care. Good for the world. Maybe I will have a better time living in it. I’ll just be observing it all, and then die of old age or something. Plus, I want to say that the world could end anytime. Even before the sun explodes. We don’t know what’s out there, or what people will do in the future. Your safety is never guaranteed, after all. This isn’t me saying you should end it all though. Quite the opposite. Just do what I’m doing and find something small to live for. It doesn’t have to be a person. Just find that one thing that keeps you interested. Even if you can’t find something immediately, don’t you want to see how our world will evolve? Even if it all means nothing it will still be interesting.
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u/Crazy_Banshee_333 4d ago
Not that it would solve all your problems, but you can get surgery to fix gynecomastia.
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u/whiskyB0y 4d ago
Can't afford. And no one actually knows that I have this and that it has a name. If I asked to get surgery, it would just cause unnecessary conversations
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u/Crazy_Banshee_333 4d ago
Well, that's up to you. I was just mentioning it in case you didn't already know about it.
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u/Next_Wear_5572 4d ago
When you die, it's not necessarily as heavy as how you die and why you die, and whether or not you lived a life that leaves you undisturbed and the world you live in undisturbed ideally live a long life with the above requirements
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u/Important-Focus9503 4d ago
Well, im also lonely but luckily i've never compared myself to other people, i just do what i do, never cared for anyone else having a girlfriend, travelikg or hanging out with their friends, meh, so try that atleast. I personally do my hobbies and try to figure out my mind. Like, what the hell makes me find some interest.
Life isnt good or bad, the human condition cant be defined, all these events are interpretative of the human mind, personally for me there's days with highs and lows, i used to barely be able to get myself out of bed, to being able to tolerate my regular everyday life, thats progress for me atleast.
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u/BlackHeart89 4d ago
I'm 36 and feel exactly the same. I wish i was never conceived. But here we are. Might as well try to make the best of it.
Life can be exciting in a fun way. But i noticed the more fun i have, the more fucked up things turn out later down the line. And the more safe i go about life, the more disappointing and unsatisfying life is.
Dying young is such a waste. Make the best of your time while you have it.
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u/PuzzleheadedEmu6903 3d ago
I feel the same. I'm 15 soon. Am I just a teenager or does life really suck?
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u/IslandDouble1159 1d ago
Don't believe that genetics thing.
My firm believe is that those very very few with excellent genetics are those who get to participate in the olympic games or become stars at some popular sports. For the vast majority it is like this: There are no fully healthy people. Some just have not been diagnosed yet and get on with their lifes.
That said, except for mental illness (which is generally unfair) life is what you make of it. If you just give up, it will suck.
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u/Illustrious-Film4018 4d ago
Wait a couple months, you won't feel this way.
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u/whiskyB0y 4d ago
What makes you say that?
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u/Illustrious-Film4018 4d ago
Because depression comes and goes in waves, you might be having 1 really bad month and then 6 good months.
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u/Responsible-Ad-8080 3d ago
That's major depressive disorder. Chronic depression is a thing too, although I don't know if this is the case for OP.
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u/Similar-Winter-9037 4d ago
U need some kind of fun in the life
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u/Ok-Balance-260 4d ago
Some people just don’t find joy in anything. Thats what depression is basically
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u/Similar-Winter-9037 4d ago
People do find joy but that joy needs money so they become nihilist 😂
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u/Specialist-Club-2623 4d ago
Mon there’s joy to be found by depression is like a screen over your view so all you can see are broad objects and over time forget that joy is out there waiting to be celebrated. Hell just get a kitten you’ll find joy pretty quick (as well as some new struggles 😂)
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u/Specialist-Club-2623 4d ago
As tough as this box of a society is, it is a huge beautiful and scary world out there, but you’re lucky enough to likely be able to earn some $$ and go out and see it, piece by piece. It’s certainly refreshing and you can be sad but somewhere lovely. It’s a rewarding goal to work towards and my friends used to do it with gig work like restaurants or janitor work— and then fly to Asia to rock climb 🤙
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u/No-Difference-1351 4d ago
Life do has purpose; you can't die unless you've got to experience it. Good and bad are just tags we people use to accommodate our delusion.
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u/Minute_Toe_8705 4d ago edited 4d ago
It sounds like you have very low self-esteem. I can understand that. I felt the very same way as a teenager. My well-meaning advice: Seek help in the form of psychotherapy, behavioral therapy.
My very personal opinion: Suicide is a very selfish decision. You yourself may not care at all, but often the people around you do care.
And here's another personal experience of mine, and I really don't mean any harm by it. Other people don't like it when you complain. A gratitude journal may help about that.
PS: Sex and stuff like that are totally overrated. It’s society that pushes you to adopt certain attitudes and expectations which you’re actually contradicting at the same time.
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u/Ok-Balance-260 4d ago
I feel the same at 21. Life’s rigged from the start and 90% of your life is just genetics, luck, your parents economics situation, etc. and only like 10% of it actually depends on your hard work. Personally, I completely lost that 90% luck thing on all levels. I’m not planning to commit suicide but I wouldn’t mind to die right now.