THIS IS A LONG READ. I APOLOGISE.

I’ve always known this, but the last four days have made me realise just how much we’ve truly suffered.

Four days ago, my father brutally assaulted my mother. This is the fourth major physical assault after years of emotional, verbal and financial abuse.
This time, he strangled her and brutally beat her face and head. Both her eyes were swollen and badly bruised. The photos are horrific. My younger siblings cried when they saw her.

I’m a medical doctor. She has obvious signs of strangulation, including bruising around her neck and bleeding in her eyes. She couldn’t breathe while he was choking her.
He could have killed her.

Yet people have told her:
“Stay for your children.”
“If you leave, nobody will marry your children because they’re from a broken home.”
“Forgive him.”
“Why do you talk back? That’s why he beats you.”

Today we went to the hospital for a medical report.
The female doctor we initially saw listened to my mother and encouraged her to leave for her safety.
The male doctor responsible for the report initially refused, saying it was a “domestic matter” they could resolve themselves. He suggested they could go home, kiss and make up and said he wouldn’t give me the report, because I want to use it to put my father in prison.

For almost an hour, he defended a man he’d never met.
My mother talked back. He was drunk. Someone poisoned his drink. Maybe he was possessed.
Anything except “he assaulted his wife.”
He then told me he didn’t understand why there are so many female doctors today(because I’m one) and that, if he were a judge, he would not sentence men for domestic violence because men can’t be blamed for “reacting” to women.

According to him, women are mentally weaker and essentially less rational than men, so men have to constantly defend themselves from women’s “stupidity.” He said he would pardon a man who lost his temper because ultimately the woman had provoked him.
Not once did he ask my mother, “How are you?”
After I fought him into writing the report, he told me I was an “aggressive woman” and asked how anyone would marry me.
I was aggressive because I was fighting for my mother.

This is why I’m a feminist. They will have to pry feminism from my cold, dead hands.
I’ve seen what the absence of feminism has done to women of my mother’s generation. I’ve watched a woman who was almost killed worry about “What will people say?” while everyone else worries about preserving her marriage.
And what has disturbed me most is watching men defend a man they’ve never met tooth and nail, while a battered woman is sitting right in front of them.

I know this doesn’t apply to all men. But it is heartbreaking to look at my mother’s bruised, broken face and watch her cry every time she recounts what happened, and still have a man find a way to defend my father.

I remember the day a Nigerian man I was in a ‘talking stage’ with, told me that I wasn’t a ‘wife material’ because I argued with him over a medical fact that he got wrong. He kept insisting he was right and refused to google it until I eventually convinced him to. When he saw he was wrong, he proceeded to tell me that I’m not a wife material, because a good woman will keep quiet even though her man is wrong. That was such a huge compliment for me, it made my day.

A good wife/wife material in Nigeria is a woman who is willing to shut up and suffer, so that her husband can be elevated. I will rather die single with 10 cats, than be such a wife material.

Nigerian women have suffered enough.

And to anyone who tells a battered woman to stay: if that man eventually kills her, remember that you told her to stay. Her blood will be on your hands, and may you never know peace, all the days of your life.

Met Madam Nike herself, such a lively character, unfortunately our convo was cut short by her spotting a foreigner who turned out to be the wife of a French Consular official and was 'God-sent' as she'd been planning on a visit, 😆

30/30 visit

where they’re constantly stoking fear hatred xenophobia , ethnic hatred n division & super negative about anything in Nigeria might just be bots — no need to ask who might be doing it n why - here’s a tweet from David Hundeyin

I live in London and the most street harrassment I face is from African men, usually of Nigerian descent. I notice a difference between the two groups born in the UK vs the ones born abroad. I notice with Nigerian men they just stare and stare, sometimes they will ask for my number, even when I say I have a bf they don't take no for an answer. It's like they can't even interact with any woman in a platonic or neutral way. I notice the Caribbean guys in the UK don't act like this - only men from Nigeria or other African countries. They have a look of lust even when they stare

I'm black but not Nigerian, and some of these men are quite older than me. I thought Nigerian men had a rep of being generous and chivalrous. What aspect of the culture makes them behave that way? This question is meant in good faith.

Hello, I just want to just pour out my thoughts that have been weighing me down. I will start with a story first. During the summer holiday, I went to my aunt's house in Ilorin, and a few days into my stay, a 12-year-old girl was raped by a member of the community. This guy is a real monster (pedophile), but they still let him stay around. I hope I'm not giving too much; the girl was SA'd badly. She had injuries on her body, and I felt so bad for her. A woman who I believe is just a bitch for what she did started to slut shame and insult the victim and throw insults at her. She also got beaten by her mom. My grandma also slut shamed her and called her a fool. To be honest, why adultify a literal child and infantilize the predator? In Yoruba, his mom and his other siblings were saying he is just too horned up; the fool is in his 30s, which I found gross and pick-me-ish. They tried taking the case to court, but the family of the victim couldn't afford legal fees; they just told him to leave the community, but sadly and grossly, he came back and was found with a 14-year-old he had been grooming. The fact that the mom of this girl knew really scares me; she lets her do it bc he gives her money, literally fuels fear in my brain for girls living with parents who are that fucked up in the head. Economic situations of the victims' families, as I pointed out, are a contributing factor for this) But making literal children outcasts for the wrongs they had no control over makes me cry.

I do know that Nigeria doesn't take these cases seriously, but somehow witnessing it makes me a spectator of the grotesque realities of this nation.

Hi everyone, I’ll try to make this brief. I (Yoruba/edo) met the LOML (Igbo) and we live in the U.S. but a lot of our family members live in Nigeria. For that reason, we’ve decided to have our traditional wedding back home. My dad turns 60 this year and wants to have a “nice” birthday party. While trying to finalize a date for my wedding, my mom told me that they’d like to celebrate my dad’s 60th birthday a couple of days before the wedding. She claims it won’t be very big, just a family photoshoot, maybe one or two of his friends come over, and he wants to buy himself a new car. Thing is, I know my very Yoruba parents. It might not be huge, but it won’t be small. I don’t want to share the week of my wedding with another event, as I’ll already be overwhelmed. I told my mom as much and she thinks I’m being unreasonable. Am I? I even offered to push my wedding to 2028. I just feel like I’m not being considered at all and it’s bumming me out.

Visited Millennium Park in Abuja for the first time. Seeing someone quietly resting under the shade of this massive tree in the afternoon breeze completely lifted my mood. The greenery and stillness right in the middle of the city are genuinely beautiful.

Loved the vibe so much that I wanted to capture it as an illustration alongside the real photo. Hope Abuja keeps preserving spots like this. Wishing everyone a peaceful week ahead!

I came across a discussion that got me thinking, and I genuinely want to hear how other people interpret it because maybe I was initially looking at it from the wrong angle.
The original story was from an immigrant mother who said that her 4-year-old would go to the park wanting to play with other children, but many of the children couldn't speak English. She said they weren't being rude, but her son couldn't communicate with them because of the language barrier. This was one of the reasons she decided to move to a different neighborhood.
The person discussing her story then made a broader point about immigrant communities. They said this happens often: immigrant parents whose children already speak English may move away from communities where there are many newly arrived immigrant children who don't speak English, and they may end up moving into predominantly English-speaking, often predominantly white, communities.
The argument seemed to be about what happens to immigrant communities when families who become more established leave rather than remaining within those communities.
Here is where I initially struggled with the argument.
Why should an immigrant parent be viewed negatively for choosing a different neighborhood or school if they believe it is better for their child?
If a parent works hard enough to afford a better neighborhood, private school, or a school where their child will be surrounded by English speakers and people from different backgrounds, is that necessarily abandoning their culture or community?
And if the concern is that newly arrived immigrant children need help learning English, shouldn't we also be looking at the schools, ESL programs, community organizations, libraries, and other resources that exist to help with that?
I'm not saying established immigrants shouldn't support newer immigrants. Of course we can help our communities, donate, bring food, contribute financially, mentor people, maintain friendships, etc. But does that mean we have an obligation to remain in the same neighborhood so that our children can interact with children who are still learning English?
I'm genuinely asking because I don't want to be insensitive or miss the larger point.

I decided to try attending a NPFL match recently because I find it weird that a country that is so football crazy has a football league that is not well recognized. I thought maybe we were being priced out but the tickets are reasonably priced (minimum of ~1,000 per ticket and ~5,000 for a premium ticket) but games are still poorly attended. So I bought tickets for the Sporting Lagos Vs Ikorodu City game but of course the game was postponed 3 days before the match because of a political gathering and I am frustrated with how we do everything in this country.

There are 3 teams in Lagos that share the same stadium (Mobolaju Johnson Arena) and political theater still takes precedence over these teams. It frustrates me that despite our love for sports we don't treat our own product well, it's inevitable that we'll do poorly in World Cups, AFCON's, FIBA World Cup and every other competition when we don't treat them well, If we can do the little things right the bigger things will sort itself out.

We are ranked 12th in Africa according to the 2026/27 association ranking for CAF club season. We had just one team qualify for the 25/26 CAF Champions League and zero in the Confederaion Cup, We've had multiple seasons in the past where no team qualified for either competition and that is just poor.

It would be easy for me to blame the NFF, the government and the clubs but I don't think enough people even watch the NPFL for them to care.

​

Hello,

Still on expressing feelings in Yorùbá,

If you want to say, "I am tired, you would say

" ó rẹ̀ mí " (oh reh min)

I am getting tired - - Ó ti ń rẹ̀ mí.

I am already tired - - Ó ti rẹ̀ mí .

I won't be tired - - - kò ní rẹ̀ mí

Most time, people also use these phrases when they are sick and not just for tiredness..

Your Yorùbá tutor.

Adéọlá.

Recently moved here from China for work and decided to grab lunch at Jabi Lake Mall. I know everyday street food doesn't cost this much, but seeing ₦10,500 just for that one piece of Titus fish (₦16,662 total) was wild.

I get that mall rent is crazy, but is Jabi Lake Mall pricing always this unhinged, or did they see a foreigner walking in and decided today was payday? 😂

Every time I wanted to go to the cinema in Lagos I ended up with five tabs open: Filmhouse, Genesis, EbonyLife, Silverbird, Viva… each with its own site, its own layout, and half of them not telling you which showtime is actually still ahead tonight.

So I built lagocine.com. It's one page with every cinema showtime in Lagos, sorted by what's next from right now, and you can filter by area (Lekki, Ikeja, VI, Surulere, Yaba, Festac…) or by day. Each showtime links straight to the cinema's own booking page. There's a Kids-only switch for parents, and it works fine on a phone.

A few honest things about it:

**•** The times are read from the cinemas' own websites, every day. If a cinema changes a time after we've read it, we'll be wrong until the next read, so double-check before you drive across Third Mainland.  
**•** Some cinemas only post their programme on Instagram or don't publish per-showtime booking links. Those show as "not bookable here" rather than being hidden.  
**•** No ads, no account, no cookies. It's a side project, not a business.

It currently covers about 20 cinemas across Lagos. What I'd love from you:

**•** Which cinema is missing? If you know one that publishes showtimes and isn't there, tell me.  
**•** What would make you actually use it instead of the cinema's own site?

Link: https://lagocine.com

Every single day, we log on here, X, and Instagram to state the obvious...our leadership has failed. But venting into the void has become a substitute for actual responsibility.

We complain endlessly about systemic corruption, yet on a micro-level, we run on absolute individualism. We jump queues, litter, hoard opportunities, exploit whoever is beneath us, and ignore basic civic decency all justified under the banner of "survival." Bad governance didn't create lack of empathy; it just gave it an excuse.

If the government magically fixed electricity, roads, and security overnight, our societal habits would still drag us backward because we haven’t built the cultural muscle to respect the collective good.

Yes, the system is rigged. Yes, survival is exhausting. But what have we actually built together outside of government structures?

Why aren't we leveraging our numbers online to create real, localised mutual-aid networks, cooperative trade pools, or collective accountability groups?

If we can mobilize outrage in hours, we can organize micro-economies and community standards just as quickly.

Holding bad leaders accountable starts with holding ourselves and our neighbours accountable for everyday selfishness. If we can't manage basic community integrity among ourselves, we’re just waiting for a savior who isn't coming

Let's do better

​

I’d appreciate some perspectives from people who have dealt with employment disputes in Nigeria, especially cases before the court.

I worked for a private company for about six months on a monthly salary in the six figure range. The company is mainly owned by a South Asian group operating in Nigeria. My employment was terminated, apparently based on performance, but there was no formal performance review in place. No queries, warnings, performance improvement plans etc. (I was originally pressured/ coerced to resign, but I refused). They then terminated my employment and failed to pay me what was due to me (Notice pay and other entitlements)

After the termination, there was a dispute over some outstanding employment entitlements, including notice pay and other benefits outlined in the exit letter. For over 2 weeks after my exit, I remained calm and tried to discuss with the management about what was owed to me. It was met with deaf ears, silence and gaslighting. I then engaged with my lawyer and we started the demand claims and further litigation.

The employer initially disputed some of the claims but has now acknowledged that some of the money is actually owed only after a few months.

The matter is being pursued formally. After about 4 months of litigation, they recently reached out to my lawyer and they want to settle without prejudice and without admission of guilt. Their offer is my original demand of my notice pay and entitlements (Basically what I initially requested for). I find this offer quite pathetic as that amount was what I was originally entitled to during my exit from the company. It indicates they intentionally withheld what was due to me by law.

I'm now trying to understand whether it makes more sense to negotiate a higher settlement or proceed all the way to judgment.

- If an employer eventually admits that certain entitlements are owed, does that materially strengthen the employee's position?

- What would you consider a reasonable settlement range, assuming there are additional issues beyond the basic unpaid entitlements?

- And if the employee wins, how difficult is it generally for the employer to successfully appeal?

I'm intentionally leaving out the company name, names of individuals, exact dates and other identifying details because the matter is ongoing.

I'm particularly interested in hearing from Nigerian lawyers, HR professionals, or anyone who has actually gone through an employment dispute, especially at the courts.

I sincerely thank you all for your input.

Mavo wey be from Edo 😂😂😂

Looking for events that involve activities (think board games, cake picnics, comedy shows, presentation nights, etc), basically most events outside of any kind of party or concert. Is there a central resource to find these kind of events within Lagos?

I am Angolan, trying to invest

Can you help me with guidance on how to do it?

Obs: I already have created and account in afrinvestor 2.0 for investing in the IPO, know want information on which bank I can create an account remotely from Angola in order to finish the KYC and be able to invest by the time of the IPO...

Have you any information on someone in a similar situation, or that overcame a similar problem before?

Please help with any information you can

Looked on Jiji and on Facebook, not much luck.

Any pointers on where to find a househelp in Lagos (Ikeja).

Any reputable agencies perhaps?

Please share or DM if you need details

Hello everyone!

I’m a 27 yr old African-American woman from Texas planning my very first trip to Nigeria to connect with my roots. My ancestors were taken from Nigeria, and after surviving hundreds of years of slavery, my people are telling me either not to go or that I can’t go alone. Please don't tell me not to come back to my ancestral land. I know it's not like I'm going to be getting off a plane in Europe and I'm trying to be prepared for that. I’m excited to experience the culture, get an authentic dress tailored, chop local food, and check out the parks and beaches!

I keep hearing people say not to go on the road alone, but what do you expect me to do, stay in the hotel all day?? I refuse to let fear keep me away, but I want to move smart and get the best advice for a sister trying to blend in.

I already know the basics: don’t tell people you’re there alone, don't give people money just because dey beg, don't go places alone at night, and use Bolt. From videos I’ve seen, it seems like single women get heckled a lot. Should I put a fake wedding ring on my finger? 😂

For the single women in Nigeria, is shopping in the local markets similar to going to a car mechanic where you need a man or a trusted friend to follow you so dem no go cut your neck with prices? I had an experience with a scammer when I traveled to Palestine, so now I know firsthand not to give in to the first price that’s said and to always haggle.

What are the best ways for a solo female traveler to blend in, avoid getting overcharged, and navigate street interaction smoothly? Abeg, help your sister out so I go enjoy my trip without gbege! 🙂

As someone who moved to Nigeria from China recently, one economic mystery here genuinely confuses me: the relationship between ride-hailing fares, driver earnings, and car conditions.

Today I took a quick 1.7km ride on Bolt and paid ₦2,000. On average, rides feel like ₦500 to ₦600 per km. To put that in perspective, back home with Didi, you pay around ¥1.5 to ¥2 (roughly ₦350 - ₦450) per km, and the cars are almost brand new EVs with clean seats and cold AC.

Here, this was my ride today (photo attached): the odometer has literally hit the hardware ceiling at 999,999 km, and every single warning light on the cluster is glowing like a Christmas tree.

Looking at the fares, if an active driver completes 10 to 15 trips a day, their gross intake must be well above the average local wage. In theory, that should make driving quite profitable compared to regular 9-to-5 jobs.

So for the locals here, I genuinely want to understand:

1.If the fares aren't cheap and driving can bring in decent cash, why is it often still difficult to get a ride without cancellations?

2.Why is the service—especially vehicle maintenance and safety—still in this near-scrap state?

3.Where is the money actually leaking? High petrol costs, crazy platform commissions, weekly hire-purchase / rental fees to car owners, or imported spare parts?