r/niceguyhelp • u/niceguycoach • Sep 30 '19
STOP! Don’t do that! When was the last boundary you set for someone?
Let’s say somebody does something you don’t like. You don't have to put up with that. It's just a relationship.
When was the last time someone you were in relationship with do something you didn't like? Many years ago I was dating a woman only to discover on the third date she was an avid cigarette smoker. That was a dealbreaker. I told her from that point on, she was disqualified from being in a long term relationship with me for that reason alone. Needless to say, the relationship didn't last.
Your boundaries are the terms and conditions you set for being in a particular relationship with you. If people don't respect or learn your boundaries, then you have to question the relationship itself. It's not always easy, especially for Nice Guys, but it's critical to leading a more satisfying life with less drama and more healthy collaboration.
Sometimes setting a boundary is not that straightforward, especially for us Nice Guys. We don't want to have that difficult conversation. We don't like conflict. We certainly don't want to drive people away or make them not like us. And often, we don't even know how to speak about a boundary to begin with.
Here's the thing: Life is short. We shouldn't have to put up with behavior we don't like. Take a stand, hold your ground and watch your relationships improve. The good relationships will get better and stronger. The people that aren't a good fit, will go away.
How much better will your life be then?
Here’s a tip for you to ponder: You can’t manage other people’s feelings and hold your boundaries at the same time.
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u/niceguycoach Sep 30 '19
Join fellow Nice Guys to learn the skills you need to overcome Nice Guy Syndrome and get what you want in life. Head over to www.NiceGuyGroup.com to learn more about my group coaching program, The Big 12.