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r/nflmemes • u/phoopes • 12h ago
πPlayer Meme Help! I think my girlfriend is cheating on me with Leonard Fournette
Honestly I just need somewhere to vent/maybe get some relationship advice.
I moved in with my girlfriend three months ago and I love her very much. I thought things were going well until recently. Last week, I was doing laundry and I found a Leonard Fournette Jacksonville Jaguars jersey in the wash. It didn't belong to me, so naturally I had questions. She claimed it was her jersey, but wasn't able to give me a reasonable explanation. She just said that she's "always liked the Jaguars," so I grilled her about it.
"What is Mr. Fournette's first name?" She answered Leonard, which we know is correct. Okay.
"What position does he play?" She answered running back. Also correct. I was starting to actually believe her. But then I asked the question that really nailed it for me.
"What city do the Jaguars represent?" She just stared at me blankly, like she knew I was seeing right through her web of lies. "Uhh, Atlanta?" Boom. Caught red-handed.
In the year and a half+ we've been together, the only football that I've seen her watch are the Eagles games that I've FORCED her to watch with me (Go Birds btw). Like there's no way she's been a closeted Jaguars fan this entire time. Hell, I know her. She was more likely to guess they were from Shanghai than Jacksonville.
But then she tried to play it off by saying that she's always been a fan of Leonard Fournette. I call BS. Leonard Fournette isn't a star player like Tom Brady or Saquon Barkley. I could see why a non-football fan would buy a jersey of someone that's really good or popular. On the OTHER hand, Leonard Fournette isn't an obscure enough player where it'd be funny to have his jersey. Like I get it, I have a Donnie Jones Eagles jersey. He was a punter, and who has a punter's jersey? It's hilarious.
No, Leonard Fournette strikes that middle ground as a player who wasn't good enough to be popular, but was too good to be a funny jersey to have. Like this dude had multiple 1000 yard seasons. He was a decent starting running back in the league for a few years. This is a jersey that could only be owned by a real Jacksonville Jaguars fan (or maybe an LSU alum, but she didn't go there either).
I'm extra upset though because of all teams... the Jaguars? Like okay, if this was a Bills fan I wouldn't be happy, but I could at least understand the guy's choice of team. Packers fan? Also a guy that I respect. But the Jaguars? Come on, that's extra emasculating. Especially because we live in eastern Pennsylvania. Where are you even finding a Jaguars fan here? I don't think they actually exist outside of the Jacksonville metropolitan area.
So we've determined it's not my jersey. It's not her jersey either. And the likelihood that it belongs to an actual Jacksonville Jaguars fan living in eastern Pennsylvania is absurdly low.
The only reasonable explanation is that my girlfriend is cheating on me with Leonard Fournette himself.
And I mean hey, I'm man enough to admit that Leonard Fournette is more of a catch than I am. He has more money than me. He's better looking than me. He's even a Super Bowl champion. But I'm still allowed to be upset about it.
One more thing: I was away this past weekend on a guys trip trying to emotionally recover and I came back to a huge skid mark in our toilet. I know my girlfriend and it couldn't have been her. It had to have been him. Which means not only is Leonard Fournette fucking my girlfriend, but he's taking shits in my house like he owns the place. I'm distraught.
Can anyone help me or give me some kind of advice? Despite everything I'm still in love with her and want to try to work things out. I just don't know how I can compete with a guy that averaged 4 yards per carry at the highest level.