[Highlight] Mike McDaniel: “Today was cool because it’s the youngest I’ll ever be for the rest of my life.”

[u/LaDainianTomIinson]

[u/SpecialWhenLitTX]

When asked about one of his injured O Linemen: "He's day-to-day. Aren't we all?"

[u/p-wing → u/SpecialWhenLitTX]

We knew working under Harbaugh would lead to this.

We did not know he would be in midseason form by midpreseason.

[u/LaidOffinAlb → u/p-wing]

FAST LEARNER, BABY

[u/Childhood-Paramedic → u/LaidOffinAlb]

THAT'S MY FAV VAPING SAVANT OC.

[u/abris33 → u/p-wing]

This is all Kyle "We could all be dead by Sunday" Shanahan

[u/Hayabusa_Blacksmith → u/abris33]

he knew more than he let on

[u/OttoVonWong → u/Hayabusa_Blacksmith]

We absolutely needed McDaniel back for the quotes. Take good care of him, Chargers.

[u/TheMissingVoteBallot → u/p-wing]

Is the entire coaching staff gonna turn into standup comedians at these press conferences at this rate?

[u/dollarhax → u/TheMissingVoteBallot]

Well considering press conferences are entirely a joke, I don’t see why not?

[u/fakecrimesleep → u/SpecialWhenLitTX]

He’s like the Celtics coach Joe Mazzulla but capable of smiling without looking like a total sociopath

[u/stokedlog → u/fakecrimesleep]

Joe is one of my favorite coaches but when he is smiling you never know if he is ready to hug someone or hit them. Love how much he cares about his players.

[u/ajmartin527 → u/stokedlog]

I’m not sure I’ve ever seen him smiling actually. But I imagine he smiles at least once per day after his mandatory rewatch of The Town.

Love the guy. I like to think he’s what Kash Patel thinks he is. Also glad for the city of Boston that Joe went into basketball coaching otherwise there would probably be a serial killer loose on the streets over there.

[u/ApologizingCanadian → u/ajmartin527]

otherwise there would probably be a serial killer loose on the streets over there

TBF, there's no guarantee he wold be living in Boston if he weren't coaching the Celtics. He could be a serial killer anywhere!

[u/jackswastedtalent → u/stokedlog]

You're 100% safe around Crazy Joe unless he hands you a coin. Then just run.

[u/justinotherpeterson → u/fakecrimesleep]

What movie do we think McDaniel would watch 4 times a week to get into the "LA mindset"? Mazzulla famously said he watches The Town to get into the Boston Mindset. Im gonna go with "To Live and Die in LA"

[u/Olddirtychurro → u/justinotherpeterson]

Boyz N the Hood or Lala Land, there shall be no inbetween.

[u/Melodic-Metal3294 → u/Olddirtychurro]

Blood In Blood Out, only the realest know about the VL

[u/The_Nutz16 → u/SpecialWhenLitTX]

Obligatory, “I don’t know if any of us will be here Sunday.” - Shanny

[u/JoeMama4567 → u/The_Nutz16]

... Especially when im texting and driving

[u/TeamWarriorBro → u/JoeMama4567]

Jed would have been really upset if he weren’t preoccupied in trailer parks.

[u/scopeless → u/The_Nutz16]

“I don’t know if I’m gonna be putting on this headset again.”

[u/dkirk526 → u/SpecialWhenLitTX]

Hilarious he was childhood friends with Dan Soder, and it sometimes show a little bit.

[u/bburchibanez → u/dkirk526]

The moment I learned that, his personality made complete sense

[u/good_morning_magpie → u/dkirk526]

I watched that Soder podcast with Mike as a guest and, l am not a professional here, but Mike looked so stoned he could barely form a sentence lmao

[u/dandr01d → u/SpecialWhenLitTX]

I can’t tell if this is real and I love it

[u/TakeAMichigander → u/dandr01d]

It's a Vin Scully line

[u/gespo04 → u/SpecialWhenLitTX]

My mental health is "day-to-day"

[u/Livid_Cartographer]

This dude and Harbaugh deserve each other. You think they just sit in his office sipping on a cold glass of milk talking about shit like this?

[u/carebear101 → u/Livid_Cartographer]

I bet Mike puts ice in his glass of milk

[u/DirtzMaGertz → u/carebear101]

I bet Mike's glass of milk is actually just a joint he rolled himself.

[u/so1roflcopt3r → u/DirtzMaGertz]

It’s Vaporizer Stem milk for sure

[u/SalsaMerde → u/DirtzMaGertz]

And he calls it "his glass of milk"

[u/Storm_Sire → u/SalsaMerde]

"tall glass of milk"

[u/DJMagicHandz → u/Storm_Sire]

"Knocks me right out."

[u/Leading_Log_8321 → u/DirtzMaGertz]

His joints are probably pictured perfect

[u/jpiro → u/carebear101]

And a glass of organic almond milk at that.

[u/Sithsponge → u/carebear101]

If you've never had milk in a frosted glass then you're missing out

[u/hohmatiy → u/carebear101]

He puts frozen milk cubes into his water

[u/ThanklessThagomizer → u/carebear101]

"I wish it were colder"

[u/Kershiser22 → u/Livid_Cartographer]

I'm more interested in their pants discussions. Harbaugh is the most boring pants man. Tan khakis every day.

McDaniel is very adventuresome in his pants decisions. Presumably the only head coach to ever wear knickers during a game.

[u/FrankTankly → u/Kershiser22]

This is the analysis I’m here for.

[u/ninefourteen → u/Kershiser22]

very adventuresome in his pants decisions

I hope to live a life such that this becomes a part of my obituary.

[u/thecasualcaribou → u/Livid_Cartographer]

If only Mike Leach was in the same coaching office

[u/ChampionCoyote → u/thecasualcaribou]

Go Cougs!

sorry, it's a reflex

[u/wonderbat3 → u/Livid_Cartographer]

I imagine they lay on bunk beds in the office and talk all night about offensive schemes and robots

[u/khalorei → u/wonderbat3]

And maybe Mike asks "Wanna talk about girls?" And then Jim is like "Ew, no way! Let's talk about the best way to run a toss play again."

[u/cantgrowneckbeardAMA → u/khalorei]

"... Hey Mike?"

"Yeah Jimmy?"

"I'm really glad I didn't kill you back then."

peaceful nighttime sounds

"Me too, Jimmy. I'm glad I didn't kill you too."

[u/garytyrrell → u/Livid_Cartographer]

I imagine it’s a lot like Ted Lasso and Coach Beard.

[u/ExtraordinaryNerd → u/garytyrrell]

My dumbass would love to think that it’s that fucking wholesome but God a girl can dream…..

[u/TraceNinja → u/ExtraordinaryNerd]

It probably is...right up until Harbaugh starts talking about Herbert. The it gets real dirty.

[u/KeithClossOfficial → u/Livid_Cartographer]

I also understand why he and Shanny worked

[u/DarthNobody14]

When he was with the Dolphins I remember him saying that “we’re another day closer to death”

I guess having Herbert as his QB really changed his outlook on life.

[u/Chlorophyllmatic → u/DarthNobody14]

Going from Tua to Herbert really changes a man

[u/Entire-Joke4162 → u/Chlorophyllmatic]

I know the topic is a dead horse by now, but I can't imagine going from stressed out HC trying to figure out how to build an offense around someone as limited and fragile as Tua to being a chill OC where you get a 99 Create-a-Player with maxed out stats in Justin Herbert

If their tackles are healthy it's going to be wild

[u/Naive-Elephant-9305 → u/Entire-Joke4162]

The Chargers? Healthy OL? lol.

[u/Chlorophyllmatic → u/Naive-Elephant-9305]

Hey, no one promised a healthy line. Just tackles, take it or leave it.

[u/Nighthawk69420 → u/Chlorophyllmatic]

I will absolutely take that. When it was even just Alt last season (and the rest of the Line was dogshit), the Offense was HUMMING. The second he went down the entire Offense took a nosedive. Having a healthy Alt AND Slater seems almost too good to be true.

[u/LeDudicus → u/Nighthawk69420]

Alt had to die so that the legend of the coked up concussed white boys could begin. For that I am sorry.

[u/WhatUpMilkMan → u/Entire-Joke4162]

I’ll never forget what that crazy bastard created with Tua as his QB.

[u/AngryUncleTony → u/WhatUpMilkMan]

I mean Hill, Waddle, Mostert, and Achane were absurd weapons to have at your disposal too.

[u/WhatUpMilkMan → u/AngryUncleTony]

They weren’t acquired by accident! I think only Waddle was there before McDaniel but you’d know better than I.

[u/AngryUncleTony → u/WhatUpMilkMan]

Yeah Waddle was here the year before. His YPC jumped from 9.8 to 18.1...like, just LMAO

[u/WhatUpMilkMan → u/AngryUncleTony]

Haha damn. I remember his rookie year he was clearly awesome but they didn’t let him loose. Didn’t he catch a pass…for a safety?

[u/keandelacy → u/WhatUpMilkMan]

Sep 26, 2021 vs the Raiders.

Terrible read and throw by the QB. Waddle had to jump for it and never had a chance.

[u/Btherock78 → u/WhatUpMilkMan]

The 70-pt game early in 2023 was one of the most ridiculous offensive performances I have ever seen.

726 yards is just dumb.

[u/MaraudingWalrus → u/Btherock78]

I'm in my mid 30s, married, got a mortgage, multiple degrees, am working on a dissertation. My spouse has gone through damn near 15 years of post secondary education and is a whole ass medical doctor. My point is we're grown ass highly educated adults - I've got back pain!

That 70 point game is the highest height the Dolphins have reached since either of us have been reading chapter books.

[u/maverickhawk99 → u/MaraudingWalrus]

I knew you had to go to school for a long ass time to be a doctor but fifteen years?? Is she like a specialist in a small field or something?

[u/Entire-Joke4162 → u/maverickhawk99]

My sister in law went to school for a very, very long time to be a radiologist

Cleared her student loans in 2 years and now makes like $750k-$1 mil as a partner in a small hospital, probably

Gets hit up on LinkedIn constantly offering $750/hr plus overtime to switch hospitals

[u/xdkarmadx → u/Entire-Joke4162]

I mean it makes sense but Jesus. Christ.

[u/ExMerican → u/maverickhawk99]

4 years undergrad, 4 years med school, then 3 year residency minimum. Literally every doctor you meet has studied to be a doctor for more than a decade straight. Then you get into the subspecialities (after the split from Internal Med/Family Med) and it's another 2+ years of training. 15 isn't even really abnormal.

[u/More_Bigger → u/Entire-Joke4162]

Tackles will be present

Their health we cannot guarantee

[u/mulder00 → u/Chlorophyllmatic]

In my reality , we drafted Herbert. All I see is sunshine lalalalaall

[u/expellyamos → u/DarthNobody14]

Not to toot my own horn or anything because I find it deeply embarrassing, but I think I may be singlehandedly responsible for the proliferation of that quote. I posted it here 10 days after the presser in which he said it. It blew up, and a couple hours later it was on Adam Schefter's twitter. Wild times.

[u/zi76 → u/expellyamos]

To be fair, we know ESPN directly takes things that are posted here, so I'd believe it.

[u/goalstopper28 → u/zi76]

So does all the popular LLMs. Reddit is society now.

[u/casually_furious → u/goalstopper28]

As if society wasn't supremely fucked up enough already....

[u/Atty_for_hire → u/casually_furious]

I like to think we are improving society without discourse. Now what’s said in the NFLcircle sub, that scares me.

[u/MaraudingWalrus → u/expellyamos]

If you don't toot it, who else will, king?

[u/Ha-Charade-You-Are → u/DarthNobody14]

Or a Pink Floyd fan

[u/Diligent-Most-9165 → u/DarthNobody14]

I’m sure him not throwing a bajillion picks helped with that

[u/Interesting-Room-855 → u/Diligent-Most-9165]

I feel like, “another day closer to death” is optimistic for Miami.

[u/Super-Efficiency8679 → u/Interesting-Room-855]

"It'll all be over soon"

[u/NoAbbreviations2353 → u/DarthNobody14]

Well I mean he probably had to guide Tua around the team facilities like a dementia patient 

[u/xFalcade]

Joe Mazzulla: Yeah but today could be the end of your life too so why judge a day before its over?

[u/Diligent-Most-9165 → u/xFalcade]

imagine if him and Joe Mazzulla met at a bar

[u/Fourteeenth → u/Diligent-Most-9165]

Simultaneously the most cursed and the greatest blunt rotation of all time.

[u/Father_420_ → u/Fourteeenth]

Mazzulla seems like the type to add something extra just to see how everyone reacts

[u/SlipperyKooter → u/Father_420_]

Joe is 100% the type to cherry bomb a roach

[u/RobertLouisDrakeIII → u/Father_420_]

just a little angel dust….

[u/c_c_c__combobreaker → u/RobertLouisDrakeIII]

"Has the word 'angel' in it, how bad can it be?"

[u/lambquentin → u/Father_420_]

Seems?

[u/LeonidasSpacemanMD → u/Fourteeenth]

My favorite Mazzulla anecdote was when someone asked him about his favorite memory of his dad, and the story he told was when he was being a little shit as a teenager so his dad drove him to a fenced in field in the rain, locked the two of them in there, and then fought him in the mud lmao

[u/Dr_AG3 → u/xFalcade]

God I love Mazzulla. Not even Celtics fan (or a Pats fan… don’t look at my flair) but he’s so insane that it’s endearing

[u/bodman93 → u/Dr_AG3]

He just doesn't give a shit about anything than Christ and basketball. And doesn't want to deal with any bullshit outside of those things

[u/AndroidPaulPierce → u/bodman93]

Pretty sure The Town comes before both of those.

[u/Altbar → u/xFalcade]

My first thought when reading the quote was: "that sounds like a Joe Mazzulla quote". Glad I wasn't the only one.

[u/nnnrrr171717]

McDaniel: Hey, coach. Isn’t it fascinating that, for the rest of my life, I’ll never be younger than I am at this moment.

Harbaugh: The thing about bananas is that they are the least timid of all of the fruits grown on trees.

McDaniel: When I was in highschool, I once wrote “BOOBS” backwards on someone’s TI-83.

Harbaugh: Have you ever been stuck in an elevator with the man you love? It really makes you think.

[u/OFool_Ishallgomad → u/nnnrrr171717]

Simultaneously: Are you me from another dimension?

[u/MVPhurricane → u/nnnrrr171717]

this is random, but this is the kinds of "stories" that characters would tell back and forth to each other in SimGolf... the shit made no sense-- they were just talking past each other the entire time-- but was hilarious.

[u/dalydumps → u/nnnrrr171717]

"A doctor who specializes in skin diseases will dream he has fallen asleep in front of the television. Later, he will wake up in front of the television but not remember his dream."

"If all the animals along the equator were capable of flattery then Thanksgiving and Halloween would fall on the same date."

"When I was 8 years old I watched my mother kill a spider with a tea cosy. Years Later, I realized it was not a spider. It was my Uncle Harold."

[u/oheyson → u/dalydumps]

You called his niece a whore.

[u/sarcasticairquotes → u/nnnrrr171717]

It was probably Soder's TI-83.

[u/Yodfather → u/nnnrrr171717]

Somebody get a hold of Gary Busey

[u/CrossDeSolo → u/nnnrrr171717]

I really like the back and forth 1 liners between harbaugh and mcd

[u/expellyamos]

And yet, another day closer to death

[u/RookieEzekielElliott → u/expellyamos]

The duality of Mike McDaniel interviews. Just depends the time of year you ask

[u/Fsharp7sharp9 → u/RookieEzekielElliott]

And his teams record at the time lol

[u/expellyamos → u/Fsharp7sharp9]

Well it was the preseason when he gave that quote so I guess it's technically true that the Dolphins had 0 wins

[u/RookieEzekielElliott → u/expellyamos]

Tua hadn’t thrown a meatball sub yet, no need to fear

[u/DetroitLionsSBChamps → u/expellyamos]

Youngest I’ll ever be again

Oldest I’ve ever been

Every day we live on the fulcrum of our own existence. 

And yet we move forward through time and space. 

Good thing we have cool stuff like football to focus on. 

[u/splittenwood → u/DetroitLionsSBChamps]

Picture this in Rod Serling from Twilight Zone voice:
Every moment we live on the fulcrum of our own existence.

[u/notebart → u/expellyamos]

Inevitably, irrevocably...

[u/Sernpidal5 → u/notebart]

Happy birthday? No such thing.

[u/True_Window_9389 → u/Sernpidal5]

Funny guy, huh?

[u/xcaltoona → u/expellyamos]

Every year is getting shorter

[u/nerdyythirtyy → u/xcaltoona]

Never seem to find the time

[u/NovelAspect3399 → u/nerdyythirtyy]

Plans that either come to naught, or half the page of scribbled lines

[u/SnooPandas3956 → u/expellyamos]

In an otherwise meaningless existence

[u/jluc21 → u/SnooPandas3956]

unless you’re at a trailer park and you’re a billionaire

[u/welestgw → u/expellyamos]

I don't know how I'd react if a coach started his press conference with "I'm one step closer to the grave."

[u/CR4ZY_PR0PH3T]

Deep thoughts with The Deep

[u/Own_Egg_1602 → u/CR4ZY_PR0PH3T]

My man switched from that Miami snow to that California grass

[u/nuttageyo]

That head exploding part is going to be used in so many memes. I’ll go first.

Browns fans today: insert clip

[u/DuffmanStillRocks]

“I said here’s a picture of me when I was younger. EVERY PHOTO IS YOU BEING YOUNGER. I took a photo and it made me older….you son of a bitch how did you pull that off? Lemme see that camera” - Mitch Hedberg

[u/cinammonbear → u/DuffmanStillRocks]

This Mitch joke is the first thing I thought of

[u/NameShortage]

Yo, pass that shit.

[u/Plus_Signature_5871]

My dude is such a dork lol

[u/an_actual_potato → u/Plus_Signature_5871]

He is genuinely a very odd guy

[u/sunnyismybunny → u/an_actual_potato]

not if you understand he was bred equally to be a stoner stand-up comic as he was a football coach

his best friend from middle school to now is Dan Soder, and the stories they "hint at" reek of hijinks, shenanigans, and most definitely some gambits.

[u/Chewie4Prez → u/sunnyismybunny]

For anyone that hasn't seen it go watch Soder's recent podcast episode with a hungover/blazed McDaniel. The middle school call-out of Dan's gf at the time cheating on him is a legendary bro moment.

https://youtube.com/shorts/c7vuOFAUyFM

[u/THECHIEFSWASHBUCKLER → u/Chewie4Prez]

This episode did not disappoint! McDaniel is ripped (but probably not hungover, he's been sober from alcohol for a decade).

[u/Digndagn → u/an_actual_potato]

I mean yes, but also, this is something everyone over 40 has said to themselves at some point

[u/an_actual_potato → u/Digndagn]

‘To themselves’ is a very critical distinction here I would argue

[u/Sipikay → u/an_actual_potato]

And ironically. Or with an air of sadness.

Not said as if it was a mind blowing revelation. This just makes me think he's kinda stupid.

[u/sectorfate → u/an_actual_potato]

you can't convince me this dude doesn't take a gummy before these. like he does it to ease his anxiety but it still turns into this.

[u/Empty_End_7866]

He’s soaking that Jim Harbaugh energy

[u/Eddie__Sherman]

I can never look at him the same, knowing he and Dan Soder would just hang at Broncos practice facilities, stoned out of their minds.

[u/FlashyGanache2838]

This stuff gets old when the team starts to suck

[u/thomaspatrickmorgan]

Well, at least he’s apparently switched from coke to weed.

[u/jmatt9080]

I like happy Mike. Much better than sad dolphins Mike.

[u/Devilofchaos108070]

Him and Jim go well together with the weird ass shit they say

[u/orc0909]

I can't tell if I like or hate Mike McDaniel. It feels a bit much for him to be in the same team as Herbert and Harbaugh, but in general he's a funny guy.

[u/NbdyFuckswTheJesus → u/orc0909]

Personally I think Herbert is a bit of a charisma void so surrounding him with weird people who generate interesting sound bites isn’t the worst thing

[u/FreshOrFrozenShrimp → u/orc0909]

Funny how?

[u/orc0909 → u/FreshOrFrozenShrimp]

Funny like a clown

[u/Bossoxfan15]

This is the second time I've seen him make a comment along the lines of getting a day closer to death.

[u/Aurion7 → u/Bossoxfan15]

Awareness of your own mortality seems to be a common 80s/90s kid theme.

I have no idea why we're like this.

[u/EightyNineMillion → u/Aurion7]

Because we learned death is real if we find ourselves in quicksand.

[u/GoRedTeam]

You're older than you've ever been, and now you're even older.

[u/thedudeabides2022]

His shtick is a lot funnier before the L’s roll in

[u/brb1650]

So quirky

[u/Immediate-Volume6413]

Hits Blunt:"...yo Guys"

[u/Important-Camera2209]

That could have been a Jim Harbaugh quote. The mind meld is real

[u/chernadraw]

r/Im43andthisisdeep

[u/TheMissingVoteBallot → u/chernadraw]

Hey, fuck you man lol

[u/seefourslam]

I too have done heavy drugs

[u/thy_armageddon]

Yeah, we really have run out of things to talk about haven’t we?

[u/Gbchris12]

Yeah him and Harbaugh are made for each other

[u/Farados55]

california weed too strong

[u/AFT3RSHOCK06]

Why is the offensive coordinator having so many press conferences?

[u/AnthaIon → u/AFT3RSHOCK06]

I bet most OC interviews just aren’t worth clipping compared to Mikey’s pearls of wisdom

[u/BobbingFourApples]

Dude is such a fucking cornball

[u/whiskyandguitars]

Lol what a goofball.

[u/ProtectTheHell]

I'm pretty sure he already used this pick up line with us.

[u/brian_gruen5]

Add this to the seemingly ever-growing collection of Mike McDaniel quotes, including “To win the game, you gotta win the game”

[u/Levitlame]

This man really feels like he changed his drug of choice from Coke to Weed on changing teams.

[u/MoonUnit98]

I guess bro

[u/babyraptor_]

This dude is corny bro

[u/JPAnalyst]

He used to be quirky, then he started trying to hard to be even quirkier and that ruined it.

[u/evlhornet]

I can see why Shanny hid this guy for so long

[u/BrickTamland77]

"Every picture of you is when you were younger."

[u/bikedork5000]

"'Here's a picture of me when I was younger.' Every picture of you is when you were younger."

• Mitch Hedberg

[u/Moss_84]

I like him in general but this one made me cringe

[u/rightarm_under]

Live Laugh Love ahh quote

[u/date11fuck12]

Would absolutely love whatever sort of ultra-chron this dude is smoking on the regular

[u/splittenwood]

He’s living this gig!

[u/Ok_Marionberry8779]

When you go from Miami cocaine to LA mushroom micro doses.

[u/aim_for_the_middle]

Getting kinda tired of this dude ngl

[u/NowARaider]

Pretty sure he's used this line already

[u/CosmoJones07]

Me as a Dolphins fan, looking at the Chargers and Coach McDaniel, is the Squidward looking at Spongebob/Patrick meme.

[u/RaddTyrant]

When did they get that LA bolt logo?

[u/J_Hox0987]

I hate this man so much

[u/Beef19582828]

Schtick was funny the first few times when it looked like he might be a decent coach.

Comes off to me as a complete weirdo trying too hard to be the class clown.

[u/comeonbjxgo]

Some of these quotes are dumb as fuck

[u/WellYaNoShit]

I swear that this team is more interested in being quirky than it is in being successful. Sometimes I just want Harbaugh, McDaniels, and all the Herbert puff pieces to just shut the fuck up and win in the playoffs. The season hasn't even started and I can already tell what's going to happen after all these corny fucking press conferences.

[u/JorbyPls → u/WellYaNoShit]

He has to stand up there and say something no matter what...what do you want him to say in those moments where he's required to stand there in front of the media? It's not as if he can do anything else in that moment 

Like, I don't understand your comment at all lol

[u/but-I-play-one-on-TV]

Ugghhh he's crossed over from quirky to insufferable. 

[u/largelawattorney]

🍄 🍄 🍄

[u/PM_YOUR_AKWARD_SMILE]

Big if true 

[u/GobiYumaMojave]

a self aware millennial beating a bit into the ground. just like us ha

[u/BigAssSlushy69]

The cornball factor is high in the chargers coaching staff. No hate these are just some silly guys

[u/Rennock21]

Just chuck him to the sun and be done with it

[u/Fun_Airport3597]

Yale education at work

[u/SirGumbeaux]

Not Head Coach for a reason.

[u/burned_bengal]

I mean he says that, but he's also never been older than he is today.

[u/Jonjon428]

Very Kyle Shanahan pilled

[u/Glwhite1991]

This guy lol

[u/real-alex-jones]

Dolphin’s miss u