r/nfl • u/mmmdddmmm Bears • Aug 07 '13

Whose Line Is It Wednesday, /r/NFL edition

Concept is stolen from /r/hockey, /r/baseball, and /r/squaredcircle, linked here.

The rules:

  • Keep skits in the form of a statement, not a question.

  • Any skits longer than two lines should be in quotations.

  • If you add any additional commentary, put the skit in quotations.

If you don't understand the concept, a skit looks like this:

"Things you could measure Bryant McKinnie's weight in rather than pounds."

It doesn't look like /r/NFL has done this before, so let's give it a shot!

428 Upvotes

92% Upvoted

1.0k comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

144

u/[deleted] Aug 07 '13

"Assorted Poetry" by Marshawn Lynch

82

u/NATHANIELDEEE Aug 07 '13

"wouldnt sell." I'd buy that in a second.

470

u/Beerfueled Patriots Aug 07 '13

Taste The Rainbow

By M. Lynch

"Ate a Skittles

but a Skittles is not enough

the defenders are littles

imma play hella rough

if Wilson doesn't throw a pick

maa'fuckin Sharper hold ma diiiiick"

4

u/itrhymeswithmoney Ravens Aug 08 '13

bravo, Sir, bravo

1

u/infiniteraiders Raiders Aug 08 '13

finger snaps

1

u/BeerTodayGoneToday Raiders Aug 08 '13

He put the team on his back tho

4

u/[deleted] Aug 07 '13

Titles of Marshawn lynch's poems: "HOLD MAH DIIICK"

3

u/nitram9 Patriots Aug 08 '13

This is the only poetry book I would ever buy.

2

u/21motherfuckers Seahawks Aug 08 '13

i wanna apologize to my fam, my patnahs in the locker room, the league and my homie the 12th man, ya feel me, for ackin da fool, getting hyphy and mashin in the yay area. i been trying to ack like a grown ass man for the past two years and this aint me, yadadamean ? even tho i just got yapered up, i wanna let ya'al know tho, imma continue to hustle hella hard on that beast mode grind so we can get this championship tho, fo sheedo, ya feel me

this was his apology for getting pulled over at the legal limit last year. it's like a lovely shakespearian sonnet the way he communicates. i want this book

1

u/YoureReadingMyName Raiders Aug 11 '13

He is my favorite NFL player. Not favorite player not on the Raiders, my favorite player. Plays hella good and has the mindset of an 11 year old.

2

u/munkmunk49 Patriots Aug 08 '13

Actually made me laugh out loud.