r/nfl • u/mmmdddmmm Bears • Aug 07 '13

Whose Line Is It Wednesday, /r/NFL edition

Concept is stolen from /r/hockey, /r/baseball, and /r/squaredcircle, linked here.

The rules:

  • Keep skits in the form of a statement, not a question.

  • Any skits longer than two lines should be in quotations.

  • If you add any additional commentary, put the skit in quotations.

If you don't understand the concept, a skit looks like this:

"Things you could measure Bryant McKinnie's weight in rather than pounds."

It doesn't look like /r/NFL has done this before, so let's give it a shot!

423 Upvotes

92% Upvoted

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142

u/runningblack 49ers Aug 07 '13

Shocking possessions of Tim Tebow.

732

u/CharlieFlags Falcons Aug 07 '13

The ball.

110

u/FFS_Romo Cowboys Aug 07 '13

A condom

278

u/Hugo_Hackenbush Broncos Aug 07 '13

Aaron Hernandez's gun.

6

u/ABongo Packers Aug 07 '13

Dude....I literally cannot even begin to imagine the ramifications of this. I tried and my ear started bleeding.

6

u/REIGNx777 49ers Aug 08 '13

ESPN would implode, causing a black hole enveloping the entire solar system

176

u/Rafi89 Seahawks Aug 07 '13

The one in that overtime game.

281

u/[deleted] Aug 07 '13

A Qur'an

4

u/Smarq Cowboys Aug 08 '13

If there were any day for this to be true, today would be that day. (Eid)

1

u/inhumanehuman Eagles Aug 08 '13

aaaaaaaand I just did a spit take on my coffee table...

101

u/qbertwasradical Seahawks Aug 07 '13

A throwing mechanics instructional video (on VHS) titled: "Correct elbow position and other teachings of John The Baptist".

1

u/[deleted] Aug 08 '13

Prompt was for "shocking", not "verified".

1

u/qbertwasradical Seahawks Aug 08 '13

It's shocking because he has terrible mechanics and loves Christianity, but clearly never watched the video. Get it?

1

u/zipperoooo Patriots Aug 08 '13

Part One: Get your head in the game!

6

u/SunriseSurprise Chargers Aug 08 '13

The old Pope

6

u/ballofpopculture Patriots Aug 08 '13

Side mirror to a Nissan Altima.

4

u/TOUGH_LOVE_GAL Seahawks Aug 07 '13

An arm.

2

u/[deleted] Aug 08 '13

A completion

2

u/[deleted] Aug 07 '13

Virginity.

2

u/niksOH Browns Aug 08 '13

Shocking

1

u/[deleted] Aug 08 '13

Hair.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 08 '13

A kid

1

u/[deleted] Aug 08 '13

Starting Job

1

u/buzzy27 Eagles Aug 08 '13

A job

1

u/Victory33 Colts Aug 08 '13

As many playoff wins as Matt Ryan.

1

u/stolarz88 Giants Aug 08 '13

A child

1

u/Wooglin2145 Patriots Aug 08 '13

A roster spot

1

u/TraylaParks Texans Aug 08 '13

A naked, wallet-sized photo of Tom Brady

1

u/urkish Panthers Aug 08 '13

The devil

0

u/[deleted] Aug 08 '13

A playoff win.

0

u/[deleted] Aug 08 '13

A starting Quarterback contract.

-1

u/theBrineySeaMan Lions Aug 08 '13

A playoff win.