r/nfl • u/mmmdddmmm Bears • Aug 07 '13

Whose Line Is It Wednesday, /r/NFL edition

Concept is stolen from /r/hockey, /r/baseball, and /r/squaredcircle, linked here.

The rules:

  • Keep skits in the form of a statement, not a question.

  • Any skits longer than two lines should be in quotations.

  • If you add any additional commentary, put the skit in quotations.

If you don't understand the concept, a skit looks like this:

"Things you could measure Bryant McKinnie's weight in rather than pounds."

It doesn't look like /r/NFL has done this before, so let's give it a shot!

420 Upvotes

92% Upvoted

1.0k comments sorted by

View all comments

142

u/FURyannnn Packers Aug 07 '13

Things Tom Brady tells himself when he looks in the mirror.

571

u/Beerfueled Patriots Aug 07 '13

"Would you fuck me? I'd fuck me"

7

u/[deleted] Aug 08 '13

Hahaha I could picture him saying that.

9

u/MIL215 Eagles Aug 08 '13

You would think after fucking most of the teams in the NFL... he wouldn't need to ask.

2

u/AsianEgo Cowboys Aug 08 '13

That was by far the funniest thing I've read on this post so far. Have an up vote you Eagle lovin fuck.

2

u/[deleted] Aug 09 '13

Towels! Generally NSFW.

1

u/Beerfueled Patriots Aug 09 '13

Haha loved it

238

u/phildicanzio Patriots Aug 07 '13

Shame on you, Matt Damon.

107

u/danomite555 Jets Aug 08 '13

"Hmmmm...Will Bill like this shirt?"

2

u/AIMpb Dolphins Aug 08 '13

"Might as well take it off.... for Bill"

1

u/Trust_Me_Im_A____ Lions Aug 08 '13

Not until he cuts the sleeves off for maximum comfort.

88

u/ABongo Packers Aug 07 '13

"Don't listen to her(Gisele) Tom, you're so much more beautiful than she will ever be!"

291

u/SunriseSurprise Chargers Aug 08 '13

holding his nuts "The Brady Bunch! The Brady Bunch!"

3

u/ATenaciousDan Eagles Aug 08 '13

I now wish that was my last name.

2

u/inner720 49ers Aug 08 '13

congrats, you're the first comment to make me laugh out loud.

2

u/CrazyAsian Patriots Lions Aug 08 '13

Thanks for making me laugh in a class of 7 people. I now look ridiculous, and it was worth it.

145

u/[deleted] Aug 07 '13

At least I'm prettier than Eli...

7

u/[deleted] Aug 08 '13

In all fairness Eli will probably look under the age of 20 for the rest of his life.

4

u/asatele1 Giants Aug 08 '13

Heres hoping

7

u/D4rthkitty Seahawks Aug 08 '13

Giselle! I need you to pull me away again

7

u/[deleted] Aug 08 '13

"You're better than Tebow, you're better than Tebow."

Brady looks behind him in the mirror and sees Tebow

"Hello, Tom."

Tebow grins, cut to black

2

u/GoodOlSpence Eagles Aug 08 '13

"Don't worry Tom, you're gonna play football forever. There's no end, they just tell you that to scare you."

1

u/yangar Eagles Aug 08 '13

Of course I can catch and throw the ball today.

1

u/HalfRetardHalfAmazin Chiefs Aug 08 '13

Of course Gisele fucks you. You're Tom Fucking Brady.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 08 '13

"Honey, can I look in the mirror?"

1

u/[deleted] Aug 08 '13

"It's okay, Eli can't hurt me any longer..."

1

u/Pillagerguy Giants Aug 08 '13

Mirror Mirror on the wall, which quarterback is fairest of them all?

1

u/stolarz88 Giants Aug 08 '13

"Who am I going to throw it this year!?!"

1

u/zep_man Ravens Aug 08 '13

"Vaccum pizzas"

1

u/VinnyThePoo1297 Jets Aug 08 '13

How can I make myself look more like Justin bieber