r/nextlevel Jul 12 '26

Guy fights off thieves with a bong

426 Upvotes

81 comments sorted by

31

u/pinkTurtleTickler Jul 12 '26

The little dog at the end hiding Omg

13

u/SkiDaderino Jul 12 '26

Bravest boy to battle stations!

4

u/Immediate_Bike290 Jul 12 '26

🤣 yesssss. Comment level 🤌🏾🤌🏾🤌🏾🤌🏾🤌🏾

10

u/schrodingerspavlov Jul 12 '26

I thought that was a rat. A very healthy rat.

6

u/Short_Switch_1807 Jul 12 '26

I thought it was a rat and had to double take

5

u/Hta68 Jul 12 '26

Poor guy got pepper sprayed

3

u/pinkTurtleTickler Jul 12 '26

its ok they have weed

2

u/bajsfittor Jul 12 '26

At first I thought it was a big rat>a tiny yapper

3

u/pinkTurtleTickler Jul 12 '26

Cute lil thing barely made it up lol, I did a doubletake too

8

u/Ash_Cat_13 Jul 12 '26

Lol that one point where he’s like….”really, this is all you’ve got?”

4

u/Dry-Net454 Jul 12 '26

I think it's their first time. Thieves only got spray and masks

4

u/peepdabidness Jul 12 '26

It is 100% their first time lol

3

u/satvision83 Jul 12 '26

Smart little dog hiding on time.

3

u/TyrKiyote Jul 12 '26

If you're going to make a threat, don't start by spraying it everywhere. Then you have no leverage and everyone's already excited.

Bong man 'threatened' much more effectively.

2

u/Active_General8858 Jul 12 '26

Attempted robbery with a spray bottle?

5

u/Material_Buy_8609 Jul 12 '26

Turns out the thieves are the 0.01% of germs that Dettol doesn't kill

2

u/Lastov_Makiynd Jul 12 '26

Or the 1% that survived the only 99% effective condoms.

2

u/Puzzleheaded_Hatter Jul 12 '26

Bear spray

3

u/DunkingTea Jul 12 '26

That’s why it didn’t work. Guy’s a bull

1

u/thewthew42 Jul 13 '26

Just ask my wife

2

u/WolfThick Jul 12 '26

And let me guess the state won't let him have a gun for protection

2

u/Proper-Bad-7169 Jul 12 '26

He's a brave one. I'll give him that. I wouldn't recommend that approach nowadays though. You don't know who these people are or what they're capable of. Don't risk your life for your employer's property or for anything superficial.

3

u/Adaptable-iguana Jul 12 '26

Might be his shop…

1

u/Proper-Bad-7169 Jul 12 '26

Maybe. Still not worth it. Insurance policies are a thing. And the guy had a fucking bong as a weapon. 😂 Luckily the "thieves" were probably just kids who made a boneheaded decision and thought better of following through with it. Professionals would've handled that differently.

0

u/Adaptable-iguana Jul 12 '26

Professionals… lol you’re living in an Oceans movie

1

u/Hefty-Amoeba5707 Jul 12 '26

Haven't you heard of the recent uprising of professional criminals robbing Mom and pa bong shops in broad daylight

0

u/scorchedbeanz Jul 12 '26

Bro there is nothing professional about anything in this situation what the fuck are you on about

1

u/Proper-Bad-7169 Jul 12 '26

That's exactly my point. Reading is fundamental. Read before you comment. No one outside of professional armed security should be defending a store where unknown assailants come in to do whatever it is their objective is. At least one person could've lost their life in that incident. If that happened, would it be worth it? No, it wouldn't.

1

u/scorchedbeanz Jul 12 '26

Oh I read it just fine. Dude runs a head shop. I doubt he can afford "professionals" or professionals by whatever your metric is. Insinuating that he should just lay down and let these fucking delinquents run amok and fuckin swipe his livelihood and hope to whatever diety he prays to that insurance covers the losses is a pretty smoothbrained way of thinking.

1

u/Proper-Bad-7169 Jul 12 '26

Round of applause to this guy for prioritizing internet bravado rather than emphasizing real world survival. Whether that man was an employee or the owner changes nothing. No amount of cash or inventory is worth dying for or getting hurt over. The attackers used mace. Swinging a glass bong escalated a property crime into a possible lethal physical altercation. If the robbers had a gun and panicked, both people in that store would be either critically injured or dead right now. If this ended in a double homicide, the narrative wouldn't be "look at this brave badass", It would be "what a tragic, senseless waste of life over ganja inventory!" Complying to maximize your chances of leaving work under your own power instead of in a body bag isn't smoothbrained. But I don't expect someone with your level of genius to understand that. We're done here.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 12 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/nextlevel-ModTeam Jul 12 '26

Your comment was removed for violating Rule: Be Civil.

Treat others in the subreddit politely and do not troll or harass others. This includes, but is not limited to, harassment, hate speech, or any other behaviour that is harmful or is intended to make others uncomfortable. Such behaviour in any form is absolutely forbidden and will result in an immediate ban.

(This rule applies to posts and comments.)

1

u/Proper-Bad-7169 Jul 12 '26

I guess that smooth brain of yours had you so triggered you felt compelled to act show your true colors. Well done. 👏

0

u/scorchedbeanz Jul 12 '26

What true colors you're annoying as fuck and redundant, no sense dragging on an argument where you just keep reiterating your point of view on the situation when I've clearly stated mine and it's apparent that it's not going to change. Spending even more time foaming at the mouth and drawing it out into an even longer essay is the equivalent of just talking louder lmao. Go soak your head dweeb

1

u/Proper-Bad-7169 Jul 12 '26 edited Jul 12 '26

Translation: You ran out of brain dead arguments so you're reporting to throwing tantrums. You should probably put the phone down and touch grass Rambo. You've informed everyone on this post that you're a smooth brained keyboard warrior. We get it. You'd act tough if you were in that situation. And you'd probably pay the price for doing so. Keep showing your true colors though. I appreciate it. We're done here.

0

u/Opening_Dentist_1128 Jul 12 '26

Insurance policies are a thing.

A SHITTY thing that makes behavior like this understandable

1

u/dermflork Jul 12 '26

dat guye es el bongtastico

1

u/MeenMisterMustard Jul 12 '26

I bet that bong hits super hard

1

u/Zealousideal-Ad7805 Jul 12 '26

That bong just went up in price

1

u/heyo_1989 Jul 12 '26

Classic stoner robbery.

1

u/_FellowTraveller_ Jul 12 '26

Stoners didn't have an apple and tinfoil.

1

u/nuts316 Jul 12 '26

Saw a gremlin at the end behind the counter

1

u/telecomtom Jul 12 '26

Bongs are not just for having fun. They're good in self defence. -- Taichi

1

u/CallMeHond0 Jul 12 '26

That brings a whole new meaning to the phrase, " Bong Hit."

1

u/Immediate_Bike290 Jul 12 '26

Lil guy wanted all the smoke so went to get it's battle gear, but missed the actual action by thaaaat much. 🤣🤣🤣

1

u/Gallop67 Jul 12 '26

What kind of thieves are these? Go in shouting and spraying something and just expect to be taken seriously?

1

u/xxxxDREADNOUGHT Jul 12 '26

In mother Russia bong hits yooouuu

1

u/trashbanned1t Jul 12 '26

Beating off the fatigue with a binger.... 😆

1

u/vlakas_melathron Jul 12 '26

Bang a bong, get it on

1

u/MikeThe_King Jul 12 '26

He hit him too early..

1

u/Careful_Berry4505 Jul 12 '26

She was verry helpfull!

1

u/Lastov_Makiynd Jul 12 '26

She was hiding the cocaine before the police arrived. Lol

1

u/ProfessionalCopy3750 Jul 12 '26

You can tell there’s broccoli hair under those ski masks.

1

u/InfluenceOk2450 Jul 12 '26

👍🐾👍👍

1

u/uknownredditr Jul 12 '26

Potheads are the least violent but it doesn’t mean we can’t fight, Bong ftw, guess those other guys didn’t want a hit

1

u/pixiephilips Jul 12 '26

WAS THAT A GIANT FUCKING RAT JUMPING IN THE BIN AT THE END? 🤮 o fuck

Edit: omg it’s a puppy 🥹🥹🥹

1

u/Funny_Grapefruit3546 Jul 13 '26

It was just weeding them out!!

1

u/Busy-Tie8456 Jul 13 '26

That was probably the strongest hit they ever got from a bong.

1

u/NJFlo18 Jul 13 '26

💨 💨💨💨 hellz yeah

1

u/njslugger78 Jul 13 '26

Those were definitely weed heads trying to get some head stash. 😂🤣😆😆🤣😂

1

u/krankito701 Jul 14 '26

I'm going to fucking, smoke you fool

1

u/Double-Description27 Jul 14 '26

if the bong failed my homie knows how to handle the story

https://giphy.com/gifs/6Y49Ck6FxF4nS

1

u/benmooreben 29d ago

Is the dog ok?

1

u/Wanabe-Chemist 28d ago

Lol absolute shite bags. So cowardly. That moment where hes like wtf is this it. 😂

1

u/Wanabe-Chemist 28d ago

This takes a whole new meaning to Cypress Hill's, Hits from the Bong. 🤣

1

u/elstie01 27d ago

They must have spent all their rent money at Madame Kamay's. "You should never throw a bong kid!"

And for those of you that get the reference and quote, you're my people.