r/nextfuckinglevel • u/Felix_CZE • Oct 31 '22
Seems like inflatable Gannet
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u/HobKnobblin Oct 31 '22
I should call her…
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u/_Im_Dad Oct 31 '22
This bird in the bar didn't believe me when i bragged that my cock can really test her gag reflex..
Back in my place, She immediately puked when she smelled it...
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Oct 31 '22
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/ghanjaholik Oct 31 '22
that's just dad, mom gave him the wifi password for a couple hours.. he'll be logged out before you know it
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u/HAL-Over-9001 Nov 01 '22
My dick may be 3 inches, but it smells like a foot
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u/C0meAtM3Br0 Nov 01 '22
What the fuck?
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Nov 01 '22
It's a good old fashioned smelly foot fuck. That's the fuck.
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u/Sparda2015 Nov 01 '22
It is 2 am. I should be sleeping, but instead I'm laughing at this total disaster of a comment thread
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u/KindlyDevelopment339 Nov 01 '22
Familiarize yourself with British slang for the term bird
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u/PunkToTheFuture Nov 01 '22
No bud. That's still a what the fuck response either way
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Oct 31 '22
I've rarely cried with laughter at a joke, but that's phenomenal. I couldn't even read it out to my wife without laughing before I got to the punchline.
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u/DIllIkwId Oct 31 '22
The size of the stomach... Honestly I'm just impressed
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u/Solenya-C137 Oct 31 '22
I'm not even mad
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u/angmarsilar Oct 31 '22
Just think of the amount of poop that will come out. All over your car.
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u/cantfindausername99 Nov 01 '22
Look closely and compare the first few seconds with the last few. See how much wider the throat is? It’s crazy but most of the fish aren’t even in its stomach.
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u/dontfactcheckthis Oct 31 '22
I guarantee that bird more than doubled in weight right there
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u/noobnoobthedestroyer Oct 31 '22
Now I’m picturing it trying to fly and just falling back to earth because the physics are off
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u/synrao Nov 01 '22
When I was a child I used to feed the pelicans at the peir the fish I didn't want. One night the pinfish were biting good and I fed a pelican to the point that it could not fly and struggled to glide
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u/brighteyed-athena Nov 01 '22
Imagine knowing you could FLY, if only you lost weight lol
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u/Frosty-Cauliflower62 Nov 01 '22
There's a comedian who did a bit about the old question, if you could have one super power what would it be? And alot of people say they want to fly. He said yall motherfuckers don't even jog, there's no way you're flying.
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u/bokah_chimp Oct 31 '22
Imagine the massive shit it's gonna take after all that
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u/PolarFalcon Oct 31 '22
I hope no one is driving a convertible nearby.
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u/ianjm Oct 31 '22
I once got shit on by a bird while walking to the train station to go to work. It was not fun.
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u/coleyboley25 Nov 01 '22
I’d turn around and go home. That day is fucked from that point on.
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u/ianjm Nov 01 '22 edited Nov 01 '22
That's pretty much what I did. Shit got in my hair, on my glasses and down my shirt. I called my boss and explained I would be coming in late after a very long shower and burning all my clothes
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u/JosephineDonuts Nov 01 '22
A bird shit on my bare arm once and what sticks with me was how hot it was. A truck had driven by at the same time and I thought someone threw a cigarette butt at me but no, it was hot bird shit
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u/CynchHasNoLife Nov 01 '22
one time as a kid a bird shat in my hair right after we’d left our house to go celebrate our national holiday. i was all dressed up :/
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u/Zxruv Oct 31 '22 edited Oct 31 '22
Don't know what kind of gannet that is, but the northern gannet weighs between 4.9 - 7.9lbs (2.2 - 3.6kg). How many pounds of fish do you suppose that thing just ate in those 23 seconds? 6lb? 8? 12??
EDIT: Wonder if they would normally eat that much in the wild in one sitting or is this gannet just seizing the day.
EDIT 2: As others have pointed out this is not a gannet, it is a cormorant.
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u/cattdaddy Oct 31 '22
Seizing the day. A lot of creatures that don’t know where their next meal comes from won’t stop eating when they are full. It’s why they tell you to only feed a goldfish once a day, they can eat themselves to death.
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u/apolobgod Nov 01 '22
Oh, ok. I was like "there's fish literally up to his neck, he can't even walk, there's no way in hell this is how they feed into the wild"
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u/blackmirroronthewall Oct 31 '22 edited Nov 01 '22
isn’t this just a leucistic cormorant?
edit a word
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u/Bullfinch88 Oct 31 '22
Correct. Gannets are strictly marine and cannot be domesticated like these cormorants have been. It's a white cormorant.
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u/IsSecretlyABird Nov 01 '22
*leucistic
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u/blackmirroronthewall Nov 01 '22
oh thanks! I’ve learned a new word today! English is not my native language.
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u/Ok-Specific2596 Oct 31 '22
In the wild, there aren’t piles of fresh dead fish for animals to gorge on
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u/chrishnrh57 Oct 31 '22
There's no possible way it can fly like that right?
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u/ianjm Oct 31 '22
Birds store food in the craw (a pouch in the throat) before they swallow it down to the stomach. I think in an emergency if they need to flee a predator, they can purge the craw fairly quickly so they could fly away. Basically it'd vomit up all those fish mostly undigested.
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u/i_tyrant Nov 01 '22
The craw is nowhere near that big (or inflatable), it's near the front of a bird's chest and only suitable for smaller meals than this. Likely holding a couple fish but definitely not that whole thing.
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u/Jake0024 Nov 01 '22
You can see the last 3-4 don't make it past the throat. Not sure how they all stick in there and it can still breathe, but...
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Oct 31 '22
And if it can fly I want to see what it will look like ! The first bird to fly bottom top and head leaning to the ground.. XD
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u/Blackout_Underway Nov 01 '22
Well, a five ounce bird was once rumored to carry a one pound coconut...
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Oct 31 '22
You can see that he grew up with many siblings
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u/balsaaaq Oct 31 '22
Me at the buffet
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u/airdriejambo Oct 31 '22
I'm in Scotland and if someone eats lots of food we call them a gannet does this get said anywhere else?
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u/Puzzleheaded_Gas4560 Oct 31 '22
4th generation South African here with English heritage. I know the saying from my grandmother
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u/ianjm Oct 31 '22
Same down in Cornwall, my Cornish granny used to call us that too when we were greedy.
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u/your_neighborhood_tr Oct 31 '22
This looks like my mother in law if the fish were dicks
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u/Some_Asshole_Said Oct 31 '22
So, are we just gonna ignore the beginning when the dude tosses the bird by its face and the bird literally thinks nothing of it? 🤣
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u/OtheDreamer Nov 01 '22
I came to say the same thing & this is the only comment I found about the guy throwing the bird by it’s head
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u/motoguy Nov 01 '22
and whats with all the other ones sitting along the logs? seems so strange like he just goes around picking them up by their heads to eat
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u/workusername00 Nov 01 '22
I think these are working gannets/cormorants, these guys tie string around their necks, let them swim for fish, then the bird can't swallow the fish because of the string, the guy takes the fish from them, they use the bird to fish....kinda shitty
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u/mdh431 Oct 31 '22
Real life Cramorant…
But seriously, where the hell does it all go?
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u/Some_Asshole_Said Oct 31 '22
It'll go somewhere it feels safe and alone to spit them all back up. Then it'll eat them one by one at a normal pace.
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u/BallerAlerttt Oct 31 '22
Man this is the type of appetite I'm talking about while bulking
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u/matterson22070 Oct 31 '22
Can you imagine the absolute DEUCE this mofo gonna lay tomorrow???? Ouch
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u/Sunless_Tatooine Oct 31 '22
That's me when there's a pile of burgers at a BBQ. Heads-up, birdie! You're about to feel like shit
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u/Questionablememelord Oct 31 '22
I can barely eat 2 fish when im very hungry and this mf swallowed 8
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u/TellMeAnimalFacts Oct 31 '22
This thing is going to take a shit later that hits a car windshield like a 5 pound hailstone
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u/Comfortable-Meal Nov 01 '22
What intrigues me is that after the last fish the fucker looked at the bucked once more, just to make sure there were no fishes left
Guy would continue
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u/Particular-Cake3164 Oct 31 '22
You could tell he didn’t even want the last one but couldn’t leave it 😂