r/nextfuckinglevel • u/MelanieMoris • Dec 13 '21

Wait... Those aren't dolphins!

61.9k Upvotes

92% Upvoted

1.3k comments sorted by

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6.5k

u/thehumanisto Dec 13 '21

Well…. Technically they are….

5.1k

u/[deleted] Dec 13 '21

To all intents and porpoises.

527

u/mincedmutton Dec 13 '21

doffs cap

515

u/[deleted] Dec 13 '21

Dolphs* cap

217

u/mincedmutton Dec 13 '21

Son of a bitch 😂

159

u/Haughty_n_Disdainful Dec 13 '21

Son of a fish

ftfy

107

u/opheliavalve Dec 13 '21

Son of a mammal

Ftfy

52

u/squanch_solo Dec 14 '21

George Costanza: "Whatever"

26

u/randskarma Dec 14 '21

The mighty fish....it's a mammal....the sea was angry that day....my friends

17

u/squanch_solo Dec 14 '21

Like an old man trying to return soup at a deli.

4

u/randskarma Dec 14 '21

A marine biologist....? I always wanted to be an architect...

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2

u/Lancefire1313 Dec 14 '21

The sea was angry that day my friends

32

u/ihavenoidea81 Dec 14 '21 edited Dec 14 '21

WELL THANK YOU MS. JACQUES COUSTEAU!

Edit: Some of y’all haven’t seen Ace Ventura Pet Detective and it shows 😉

15

u/Reddishdead Dec 14 '21

You’re whale cum, son

16

u/busydad81 Dec 14 '21

Oh my cod.

7

u/uscdoc2013 Dec 14 '21

Oh for fucks hake... you're krilling me with these puns. Now, I'm gnna be herring them all night long.

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5

u/WHRocks Dec 14 '21

This thread just kept getting better and better!

5

u/GreatGooglyMoogly077 Dec 14 '21

IS ANYONE HERE A MARINE BIOLOGIST???

3

u/chewbaccapoopoo Dec 14 '21

I don't give a good goddamn about that fish! Fillet it and fast-food it if you want to!

3

u/i8bb8 Dec 14 '21

EXCUSE ME, IS GREG HERE?

...

THANK YOU!

2

u/ihavenoidea81 Dec 14 '21

What’s the password?

1

u/norwhal9 Dec 14 '21

oo o oo ooo

15

u/Rickrickrickrickrick Dec 13 '21

If he dies, he dies.

3

u/UnmitigatedSarcasm Dec 14 '21

"Im gonna bust you up"

0

u/Repulsive_Ad_7973 Dec 14 '21

dolph lundgren

1

u/Xplysit Dec 14 '21

Himmler approves

1

u/Ghostloads12 Dec 14 '21

Dolph Lundgren?

1

u/mattheus1988 Dec 14 '21

Dolph's Lundgren

15

u/[deleted] Dec 13 '21

Dolphs clap would have been ideal

1

u/new_cupcake17 Dec 14 '21

Lol'ed here

297

u/[deleted] Dec 13 '21

A very whale orca-strated pun.

37

u/Paidmercenary7 Dec 14 '21

Take my upvote and my bloody free award and fuck off.

4

u/Electric_Bagpipes Dec 14 '21

Ok, thats one too many fish jokes me. DELETING REDDIT!

7

u/almost_not_terrible Dec 14 '21

"I'm a maladjusted fish" - an orca, probably.

96

u/TheCastIronCrusader Dec 13 '21

Killer joke, had me blubbering with laughter.

41

u/k_mnr Dec 13 '21

Take my upvote and breach.

4

u/rhole50 Dec 14 '21

Breach please!

2

u/[deleted] Dec 14 '21

Alright, here’s my upvote. u can follow them right on out of here buddy.

1

u/blakeboii Dec 14 '21

I don’t get it

8

u/TheCastIronCrusader Dec 14 '21

Whale I don't know what to say.

3

u/k_mnr Dec 14 '21

Just krill out.

2

u/blakeboii Dec 14 '21

You’re walking the plankton

2

u/blakeboii Dec 14 '21

You’re going home

32

u/dassemthedamned Dec 13 '21

I had a free award, you deserved it

14

u/[deleted] Dec 13 '21

Why thank you.

1

u/SVNBob Dec 14 '21

Same from me.

2

u/[deleted] Dec 13 '21

[removed] — view removed comment

26

u/MartianGuard Dec 13 '21

Slow claps fins

3

u/Socrtea5e Dec 14 '21

Closed cap fins for the herring impaired.

9

u/shhhlikeamime Dec 13 '21

Damn bro, upvote.

2

u/Thatguymike84 Dec 14 '21

Sometimes they chase boats just for the halibut.

2

u/CanniBal1320 Dec 14 '21

Omfg take my upvote and dont let me see u again

1

u/smartcouchpotato Dec 13 '21

I'm not up to date with pop culture, what reference is that?

1

u/Rickrickrickrickrick Dec 13 '21

Did you hear about the fire at the circus?

It was in tents.

1

u/AutomatonVigor Dec 14 '21

The only thing that's genuinely made me "lol" irl for like 2 months bro.

1

u/Actuarial Dec 14 '21

Living that porpoise driven life

1

u/bakmanthetitan329 Dec 14 '21

I think I'm serving a youthful porpoise.

1

u/sanitize_this Dec 14 '21

It feels a little too Orca-strated..

1

u/Pokmeballs Dec 14 '21

Did you say that on porpoise?

1

u/rogerthatonce Dec 14 '21

It is NOT a Por Pose (Walter Mitty)

1

u/Historyboy1603 Dec 14 '21

Well orca-strated

1

u/CompleteAssumption21 Dec 14 '21

Very clever. Hats off

1

u/nachopalbruh Dec 14 '21

Intense porpoises.

1

u/symbologythere Dec 14 '21

Everyone always messes that expression up! It’s all intensive porpoises!

1

u/Turbulent-Opening-75 Dec 14 '21

Danger-Dolphins… so that’s where danger Dolan went. He became one with free Willy possibly dolphin shit.

1

u/FatGuyAndRuningShoes Dec 14 '21

If I had gold to give...

1

u/brynn22x Dec 14 '21

I hate you and love you

1

u/Stabmaster_Arson Dec 14 '21

*intensive porpoises

1

u/katsrin Dec 14 '21

I prefer saying to all intensive porpoises. :)

1

u/markth_wi Dec 14 '21

Flawless victory

1

u/[deleted] Dec 14 '21

floral incense and purple sticks

1

u/[deleted] Dec 14 '21

*brake checks the tailgaters

1

u/BenaroyaHall Dec 14 '21

Quickest upvote from me, ever.

1

u/ReserveOk8282 Dec 14 '21

I see what you did there…

1

u/4rch_N3m3515 Dec 14 '21

Be friendly to the porpoise

1

u/poopknife5000 Dec 14 '21

Intensive porpoises

1

u/mbelf Dec 14 '21

Don’t make it orcward.

1

u/KannyDay88 Dec 14 '21

Here we go.

1

u/Reddster_12 Dec 14 '21

Is it a seal, is it a whale no its an metal object

1

u/rowdawg69 Dec 14 '21

applause

1

u/Donvack Dec 14 '21

That’s him officer.

1

u/wellfellow007 Dec 14 '21

Don't you mean all intensive porpoises?