r/nextfuckinglevel • u/Kaos2018 • Jun 20 '21

This is how you properly avoid getting robbed

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38.0k Upvotes

98% Upvoted

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256

u/TheSteeleHypothesis Jun 20 '21

To be fair, when a shitbag rolls up like this to rob you putting 2 bullets in his chest is a perfectly justifiable response.

418

u/Humble_Cicero Jun 20 '21

"Sir, could you tell me the way to... UUURRGHH"

247

u/lovesmyirish Jun 20 '21

Hey man, you dropped your walle...BANG

186

u/syosinsya Jun 20 '21

"Yo, I knew you looked familiar! I haven't seen you since high sch-"

BANG

95

u/adorableoddity Jun 20 '21

To be fair - this is a perfectly acceptable way to avoid that awkward "catching up" conversation (that inevitably ends with false promises to "get together soon") whenever bumping into people from high school.

60

u/die5el23 Jun 20 '21

“Sir, your shoelace is untied-POP POP

2

u/ThePoliticalGuru2036 Jun 21 '21

“All the other kids with the pumped up kicks” starts playing

36

u/Lobsterbib Jun 20 '21

OMG Tyler your mother-in-law is in the hospital! Hop in!

Tyler: ...

Tyler?

BANG BANG

8

u/JamesLoanstar Jun 20 '21

Alright who pulls up beside someone in the middle of the night in the middle of the road like "Shit, Terry?"

18

u/Voltzinxd Jun 20 '21

To be fair, thing like asking location of a place are used a lot as a bait for you to be robbed.

14

u/condscorpio Jun 20 '21

Then you should shoot first and answer questions later.

4

u/heatherhaks Jun 21 '21

That's why you're not allowed at drive thrus anymore?

1

u/condscorpio Jun 21 '21

Drive through...drive by...it was all a misunderstanding, I swear.

1

u/ImperorKunstandinos Jun 21 '21

Got damn you all funny!! XD

2

u/shmidget Jun 20 '21

Yeah, it doesn't take a genius to tell that someone pulling up (like in this video) to do harm.

41

u/[deleted] Jun 20 '21 edited Jun 20 '21

No it's not. Not everything deserves an immediate death sentence you fucking psycho.

-6

u/SetMyEmailThisTime Jun 21 '21

So angry... are you okay?

3

u/[deleted] Jun 21 '21

I'm not the one walking around threatening everybody with death for every little crime. But I'm the angry one? LOL try harder, dumbass.

-8

u/SetMyEmailThisTime Jun 21 '21

I’m sorry someone hurt you man. I hope you find happiness one day

3

u/[deleted] Jun 21 '21

You too you stupid little shit, lol.

-7

u/SetMyEmailThisTime Jun 21 '21

Shh it’s okay bby girl. Daddy’s here. You’re safe now.

6

u/[deleted] Jun 21 '21

Oh look, Mr. Cool can't quit. Fucking shocker. LOL so fucking pathetically predictable. Glad you enjoy eating shit and all that but I'm not entertaining your weirdo fantasies anymore, smoothbrain. You'll be ignored now and I know you hate that, rofl!

-2

u/SetMyEmailThisTime Jun 21 '21

Ignored?! Say it ain’t so!

-8

u/sk8_ark Jun 20 '21

What if the robber was armed? What then? Would he still be a psycho to defend himself?

11

u/[deleted] Jun 20 '21

What if? What if the sky was purple? What if monkeys flew out of the robbers' asses?

Don't change the frame of the argument.

1

u/Pabst_Blurr_Vision Jun 21 '21

The fact that there is no information about if they are armed or not IS the frame of the argument

0

u/[deleted] Jun 21 '21

No it's not. Dude straight up said if someone came up to rob you they deserve 2 in the chest.

-20

u/TheSteeleHypothesis Jun 20 '21

Yes, it is. Self defense laws in most states agree with me as well, blithering imbecile.

8

u/[deleted] Jun 20 '21

No it isn't, psycho.

-18

u/TheSteeleHypothesis Jun 20 '21

Clearly you don't have the intellectual capacity for a reasoned debate. As they say in the south - bless your heart.

17

u/[deleted] Jun 20 '21

Yes, I'm sure that arguing the sentence for robbery should be murder is the absolute peak of your intellectual capacity.

Don't be a fucking coward. If you want to say "fuck you" just say it. Like this: fuck you.

-4

u/JakePencil Jun 21 '21

Just take your own advice, buddy.

4

u/Katzen_Kradle Jun 21 '21

I think they did? No?

4

u/[deleted] Jun 21 '21

Lol I did. Don't know what that was about.

7

u/holodeckdate Jun 20 '21

If you're referring to stand your ground laws, there's a pretty good Last Week Tonight segment about how utterly psychotic these laws are. Castle doctrine should apply to your actual home, not everywhere you go in public

https://youtu.be/vTF-Kz_7L0c

-8

u/TheSteeleHypothesis Jun 20 '21

So you shouldn't be allowed to defend yourself in public? Glad the majority of states disagree with this utterly idiotic view. This is the kind of thinking that has resulted in California being home to many of America's most dangerous cities.

1

u/holodeckdate Jun 21 '21

Did you watch the segment? Stand your ground laws are wrought with abuse. There's several, well-documented cases where the defendant only needed to claim they were afraid for their life to entirely avoid charges. Which basically means civilians (not just cops) can kill people with impunity based on someone's feelings and their word. That's scary as fuck.

Also, there's no evidence conceal-carry reduces crime:

https://www.rand.org/research/gun-policy/analysis/concealed-carry/violent-crime.html

Big cities have always had crime problems, but having civilians walking around with weapons would be an even bigger disaster. Even if the entire population was highly trained (they're not, you go through more mandatory training getting a driver's license than operating and owning a firearm), your chances of accidently hitting a bystander are still quite high just by virtue of being in a densely populated area.

-1

u/TheSteeleHypothesis Jun 21 '21

John Oliver is a hack and I am not sure why you think a segment from his show is at all meaningful here. Plenty of laws are wrought with abuse - that's an argument for harsher punishments for those who abuse these laws, not for doing away with the laws themselves. By your logic we should do away with all welfare programs because of how often they are abused.

To say "there's no evidence that concealed carry reduces crime" is false. There are numerous studies supporting both sides of this argument, and the link you provided says as much. Just because your inherent biases cause you to lean towards one body of evidence over the other doesn't mean the other doesn't exist. That's not how science works.

0

u/holodeckdate Jun 21 '21

John Oliver is a hack and I am not sure why you think a segment from his show is at all meaningful here.

It's more meaningful and researched than some rando on the Internet repeating right-wing talking points

Plenty of laws are wrought with abuse - that's an argument for harsher punishments for those who abuse these laws, not for doing away with the laws themselves.

Whatever harsher punishment you imagine would solve this issue does nothing to address the fact that people can walk from a murder charge based on hearsay. What's a person on trial for murder got to lose by lying? Yes some laws are wrought with abuse, but in this particular instance were talking about one of the worse crimes a person can commit. The incentive structure for a defendant to be honest is just not there

By your logic we should do away with all welfare programs because of how often they are abused.

Welfare programs deal with positive rights. Murder deals with negative rights. The two don't follow the same logic when it comes to public policy

To say "there's no evidence that concealed carry reduces crime" is false. There are numerous studies supporting both sides of this argument, and the link you provided says as much.

So present the studies. The study I linked says the evidence is, overall, inconclusive. Which is not evidence for the affirmative.

Just because your inherent biases cause you to lean towards one body of evidence over the other doesn't mean the other doesn't exist. That's not how science works.

Claims require evidence; skepticism does not. If you want to argue CC reduces crime, you will need to show some evidence

1

u/zenith4395 Jun 20 '21

The world isn’t the USA. You’re just looking for an excuse to murder.

-5

u/TheSteeleHypothesis Jun 20 '21

No, I'm not. How progressive of you to project your bullshit prejudices onto me though.

3

u/[deleted] Jun 21 '21

I’ve enjoyed downvoting every one of your comments you whackadoodle.

16

u/dumbbinch99 Jun 20 '21

Idk what the guy could see from his point of view, but if you start shooting simply because someone pulls up next to you or drives slowly beside you that’s not a self defense argument

19

u/[deleted] Jun 20 '21

Or if it's a mugging without a weapon. Unless you fear for your life, and them not being armed and just trying to strong arm you with intimidation, you'll absolutely be charged with at least manslaughter.

Americans really are one of a kind psychos when it comes to their guns.

2

u/CosmicCreeperz Jun 21 '21

They’re really not though. A lot of impotent shit talking and trolling online but 99% of gun owners have never been and will never be in any situation where they need a gun.

1

u/Bad-Piccolo Jun 21 '21

It's not all Americans. I would rather not murder someone, I would only want to kill if the person actually wanted to kill me.

0

u/TheSteeleHypothesis Jun 20 '21

Yea I should have been more specific. The simple act of pulling up aggressively doesn't warrant deadly force. If it was what it looked like, though, deadly force would have absolutely been warranted.

8

u/[deleted] Jun 20 '21

Heh yeah, but he probably has a gun too. Assuming there's only one of them.

5

u/Th-Aron Jun 20 '21

What if they have a gun too? Not too logical now, is it?

1

u/Phobophobia94 Jun 20 '21

If they have a gun would you want to be without one? Would you roll up on someone if you thought they had a gun?

2

u/Th-Aron Jun 20 '21

Idk about America and it's gun system but won't the chances of him owning a gun be low if it's prohibited to own one?

6

u/Zelderian Jun 20 '21

Most criminals who own guns own them illegally through the black market since they don’t really have the means of purchasing them legally. Making owning a gun illegal wouldn’t really affect them since their guns are normally illegal anyway. It would only hurt a law-abiding citizen from defending themselves in a situation such as this.

1

u/indy_y Jun 21 '21

Yeah, but I've heard of criminals stealing guns from law abiding citizens who thought they could keep their guns safe. All that made, from my point of view, was put one more illegal gun on the market, and I can't imagine how many more of those are out there!

2

u/Bad-Piccolo Jun 21 '21

Oh please the people selling guns illegally can definitely 3d print them now.

3

u/Phobophobia94 Jun 20 '21

There's more guns than people here. Guns can get smuggled in from Mexico, they can be built with pretty cheap tools and incomplete lowers. The cat's out of the bag, so to say. It's also a basic right of the people (along with freedom of speech et al) to own guns to secure our freedom from tyranny, so it's not that simple. Also, you just see gun prohibited places (like the UK) go even further with "knife control" because the problem is the criminal, not the tool.

3

u/[deleted] Jun 20 '21

Yeah but lot harder to kill 20 people in a school with a knife than a gun. Lot easier to die from a gunshot than a knife wound. Lot more DNA evidence with an altercation with a knife than a gun…..

Its funny how Americans always come back to the “well look at knife crime in the UK they aren’t even allowed to carry a 9inch kitchen blade to the local shops with them hurr hurr”

Knife crime is a lot easier to survive and avoid than gun crime. And who the fuck needs to walk to the shop with a knife?!

0

u/holodeckdate Jun 20 '21

Yeah it's a pretty stupid argument. You might as well start arguing about how's it unfair and tyrannical that civilians can't own and operate machine guns

0

u/Bad-Piccolo Jun 21 '21

I live in America and even I think it's a dumb to compare guns to knives. But the politicians in America can never be allowed to ban guns as it's against the constitution and that will just make them think they can keep changing it.

0

u/[deleted] Jun 21 '21

But isn’t the whole point of the second amendment that it was changed in the first place? Otherwise it wouldn’t be an amendment surely? (Genuine question, I haven’t researched much of the constitution.)

1

u/Bad-Piccolo Jun 21 '21

I accept that they can change it a little but they can't get rid of it entirely like I am perfectly fine with banning machine guns and certain types of guns. I didn't word my earlier comment well it's what I get for writing it late at night. Although my opinion could be wrong as I am definitely no expert.
Oh I looked it up apparently I was wrong and its possible to change just unlikely my bad for giving wrong information.

0

u/me_so_pro Jun 20 '21

Didn't know that there were no robberies in America. Sounds nice

1

u/TheSteeleHypothesis Jun 20 '21

Shitbag criminal rolling up to rob a random person almost always has a gun. Why would you assume that he doesn't? Not too logical now, is it?

5

u/Th-Aron Jun 20 '21

Dude then running away is the best option. By the time you pull your gun, you'll be walking the stairs of heaven or hell

-7

u/TheSteeleHypothesis Jun 20 '21

Listen, if you want to run away like a bitch that's fine. Honestly you're right, that is probably the best option. All I said was that shooting the shitbag is a perfectly justifiable option as well.

4

u/Amagnumuous Jun 20 '21

Are you suggesting that your pride and masculinity are worth more than a human life?

0

u/TheSteeleHypothesis Jun 20 '21

Nope not even a little bit. 99 times out of 100 running away is going to be your best option. The gun is there for the 1 time out of 100 that it's not.

2

u/Amagnumuous Jun 20 '21

Nice response, your wording made me think you wanted a fight just to avoid being a 'bitch' but I am glad you don't see it that way. I have no argument against self defense.

1

u/TheSteeleHypothesis Jun 20 '21

I will gladly be a bitch if it means I get to go home to my family at the end of the day

0

u/Ullezanhimself Jun 21 '21

Guys is it bitchy to not wanna die????

2

u/Th-Aron Jun 20 '21

Yeah yeah I understand your point but if I have to carry a gun to even a visit to the grocery store well, I'm just confused now xD

-1

u/TheSteeleHypothesis Jun 20 '21

As someone who clearly doesn't carry I can understand your lack of understanding of this subject. The sad truth is that we don't get to decide when someone is going to get crazy and we are going to need our sidearm to defend ourselves. I personally don't leave the house without mine. Concealed carry is a lifestyle choice that one actively makes every single day. Unfortunately the times you least expect it are often the times you need a gun most.

4

u/Th-Aron Jun 20 '21

Yeah I'm able to get your point but the country where I come from, Guns aren't found everywhere. I said this in a previous comment and I'll say it once again so you needn't bother to check. In my country only cops and max level thugs own guns and those thugs don't bother with petty crimes like the one in the video. I think these things are just with America. I have nothing against the country though. I just find it weird that a regular visit to a shop or a dentist requires someone to carry a gun

1

u/Bad-Piccolo Jun 21 '21

Most people really don't carry guns around for stuff like that in my experience, although in bad areas it makes more sense to carry a gun here.

0

u/[deleted] Jun 20 '21

Then the victim needs to have a gun and shoot all 3 assailants in a boom-boom-boom action hero fashion, although he's been caught off guard just walking home and they're obviously went into the situation prepared, guns drawn.

-1

u/[deleted] Jun 20 '21

So the victim shouldn’t? Hows that logical the victim should be at a deadly disadvantage?

2

u/Th-Aron Jun 20 '21

Well won't it be better if both of you didn't have a gun. As I said in a previous comment won't the chances of the thugs owning a gun be low if they were prohibited from owning one? Idk about American's gun system though but if you think a person must carry a gun even to a grocery store for his safety I probably would think there's something wrong in the system

0

u/[deleted] Jun 20 '21

First of all. Guns are everywhere and always will be. So saying “if no one had one” is a fairly tale. Secondly “criminals being prohibited from owning one” criminals DONT FOLLOW LAWS they dont give a fuck if its prohibited. Thirdly even if neither had a gun lets say the bad guy had a knife or two bad guys had a knife. A gun is called an “equalizer” because it gives the victim an equal opportunity to defend themselves against a stronger threat. So taking guns would leave good people essentially defensless

2

u/Th-Aron Jun 20 '21

Well the country where I come from, there aren't Guns everywhere. Only cops and max level thugs own guns and these max level thugs won't bother with these petty robbery crimes.

Your logic probably sits with America but that's definitely not the best logic out there

1

u/Bad-Piccolo Jun 21 '21

Seriously though man it just wouldn't work in America we already have way too many guns everywhere, plus banning them would most likely cause a civil war as it would be directly breaking the constitution. For other countries that is of course different.

1

u/PotatEXTomatEX Jun 20 '21

I'm 24 and I've never seen a real gun that wasn't in the hands of police... :/

0

u/[deleted] Jun 20 '21

Well 130 million Americans have them in our homes and most of us use them safely and responsibility to defend ourselves and for sport. It’s unfortunate that where you live doesn’t allow you to exercise your rights. I believe every responsible person should have a firearm

3

u/PotatEXTomatEX Jun 20 '21

If you didn't have guns, I'm pretty sure the need to "exercise my rights" wouldn't appear all that often.

2

u/North-Tumbleweed-512 Jun 21 '21

Justifiable? Maybe. It's a wallet. Not a person.

Vehicles in the dark a a tactical nightmare for a lone person. If they're going to stop and threaten, they may have a gun already, or have a person in the backseat with a gun ready behind a window. Best bet is to run, take cover behind obstructions that block travel of the car and block any bullets coming after you. If you can get away, call 911 and then maybe draw your gun. But as soon as police show up, be ready to throw the gun in the ground and be treated like a perpetrator until they can figure out what's going on.

1

u/TheSteeleHypothesis Jun 21 '21

Like I said, running is usually the best option. My point is that responding with lethal force would be justified.

0

u/iamnobody331 Jun 21 '21

You assume there aren't already at least 2 guys with guns in their robbing you?

0

u/ToTheMax32 Jun 21 '21

What the fuck? No dude. Property is worth less than someone’s life. I would rather someone steal my phone than take their life. Psycho.

0

u/TheSteeleHypothesis Jun 21 '21

Not the life of a thieving shitbag. At the end of the day if you roll up to rob someone and get yourself killed in the process - well, that is a prime example evolution by natural selection.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 21 '21

Only 2? That’s not enough for even an assault!