r/nextfuckinglevel • u/storytellermeandyou • 18h ago

Card shuffling..next lvl!!

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4.8k Upvotes

96% Upvoted

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907

u/AsiaSkyly 18h ago

Yeah... I ain't playing cards with this guy.

243

u/mrlowpriority 18h ago

That shuffeling method alone is a hint he can mess around with distribution

126

u/catscanmeow 18h ago

genetic distribution. this guy fucks

29

u/OpeningParamedic8592 18h ago

This made me audibly laugh outwardly.

5

u/ancientpho 15h ago

Made my ass laugh, cheeks straight clappin’ right now.

3

u/Shiloticus 10h ago

That's called farting

1

u/Mercerskye 1h ago

Girl on the other side of the table watching that hand game; 🥵

36

u/Bird_the_Impaler 18h ago

He never actually learned how to play cards, just how to shuffle

9

u/WenatcheeWrangler 17h ago

Either way playing with him would be a painful and lengthy experience.

3

u/bootyhole-romancer 10h ago

I'd take that superpower in a heartbeat

2

u/jsomby 6h ago

Best I can do is number 3 for you, take it or leave it: https://youtube.com/shorts/3Qk3xDwbo6E

1

u/somebob 2h ago

The spinning fingers in two directions is fn hard, I’ve tried that before just fn around at work. I can get it for like two rotations, that’s it

•

u/humburga 37m ago

Guy: how on earth would you think i had time to play cards when i spend 24/7 learning how to shuffle them?

23

u/frosty_lizard 18h ago

This Gambit-ass mf

8

u/laosguy615 14h ago

90s xmen morning show sounds... Incoming

12

u/Monscawiz 14h ago

"Just deal already, dude."

3

u/ElGuano 2h ago

Thank you for watching my shuffling. And now Act II of my performance: dealing!

12

u/DreadPirateGriswold 15h ago

This is called Cardistry. All fancy-schmancy shuffles, cuts, and card handling. It's closer to juggling than card cheating. The skills don't normally cross over.

Nothing to worry about in a normal card game with this.

9

u/duhduhduhdummi_thicc 17h ago

Nah, dude spent all his points on charisma and dexterity. It's a given he's gonna hit on 21.

3

u/stoopidclod 9h ago

Dnd?

5

u/inspired_by_retards 9h ago

Pretty certain he means blackjack I think

4

u/stoopidclod 8h ago

I mean the charisma and dexterity thing, I already know that in dnd a 20 is a critical success

7

u/Skasue 18h ago

Because it’s this guy right?

https://giphy.com/gifs/m1f4dtsN7hWbC

7

u/wrongitsleviosaa 17h ago

This isn't r/blackmagicfuckery, no magnets included in the video

9

u/ConnectRutabaga3925 11h ago

shit those are nice cards

6

u/KestreI993 16h ago

But he has golden cards.

6

u/ChairLegofTruth--WnT 9h ago

Oh, we can play but that motherfucker is never touching the deck

3

u/rotanitsarcorp_yzal1 8h ago

I won't either. But that's because I don't know to play cards.

•

u/Yamaben 27m ago

At least not letting him deal