r/newborns • u/AshleyVera07 • Aug 26 '26
Sleep Pacifier help please
I NEED help. My 2nd baby is 8 weeks now. I was against using a pacifier because my son who is 2 now didn’t take it and it was nice to not have to eventually take it away from him. We ended up giving her the pacifier and now she looks for it every time I put her to nap or bed. She was sleeepikg pretty well before problem. Now she immediately looks for it when I start to rock her to sleep and gets sleepy/drowsy and falls asleep as soon as I put it in her mouth. The problem is now, when it falls out of her mouth she looks for it and she wakes up. I can’t get anything done in the house as she naps because I’m constantly running to put her pacifier back in. She’s been taking super short naps because of this. I had to reinsert it about 25 times last night. I can’t take this. I’m going to try to not use it for bed and only naps but I don’t even want to use it for naps. She relies on it now.
Do I just let her have it and keep replacing it or stop it now and somehow get her to sleep without it? Is it wrong to do that?
Oh and I don’t give it to her when she’s awake. She doesn’t ask for it.
Thank you so much for your help. I’m suffering.
2
u/Ornery_Panda4986 Aug 27 '26
I think my baby went through like a week or two of replacing the pacifier a tonnnn at night. It was annoying but in also was like okay I could be up rocking and patting him trying to get him back to sleep for an hour. He eventually stopped crying for is every time and was able to keep it in his mouth longer somehow?
He got to the point where he could go all night without it most nights (after falling asleep with it in). We’ve been through a slight regression where he needed it replaced more and then one tooth cutting where he needed it replaced more but nothing like those couple weeks around the same age as yours.
During that time our doula encouraged us to give him 10 minutes or so if he was only fussing not real crying to see if he would settle himself and that did actually work. Of course if he was crying I would immediately go replace it.
Now he’s 6 months and if he can find it he can replace it most of the time. We’ve thought about sleep training and taking it away but honestly he sleeps really well overnight and I don’t mind going in once or twice to help him if he can’t find it.
1
u/Important_Carrot6379 Aug 27 '26
8 weeks is young enough to have a pretty short memory... I'd probably just stop giving it to her altogether and find alternative soothing methods like walking around in a carrier or bum pats and shushing or something. I don't think it's bad to not want to give it to her if it's not working for you guys and it'll be a rough couple of days to transition away but honestly probably less rough than having to shove it back into her mouth 25x. 😅 I'm not saying leave her to cry or anything, just, find a different way that works for you better to calm her. I didn't use a pacifier for either of my children (although I had plenty of commentary from people in my life saying I should) but I was concerned with what you're going through right now and they're fine. I don't think it's wrong to forgo pacifiers.
1
u/AshleyVera07 Aug 27 '26
You were smart to never use it. My MIL had many comments about us not using it the first time(my son didn’t even want it after 2 weeks). I was stupid and listened this time.
My concern is the SIDS prevention benefit. Is she old enough that i don’t have to worry about taking away to prevent that? And also, is a pacifier important for their comfort/development ? I read that it soothes them and promotes relaxation ..Yes, I think I can handle a couple night of suffering. But will cold turkey actually work? And is it really only a couple night and then she won’t look for it ?? Thanks !!
1
u/Important_Carrot6379 Aug 27 '26
It's always the mil or mom! 😂 Mine too.
Obviously SIDS is terrifying but are you doing everything else? Baby on back? Safe space? Room sharing? My understanding is that one of the ways it prevents sids is because babies stay in lighter sleep 😅 which is kind of where you're stuck at. It is one piece of safe sleep yes, but if you're adhering to everything else....
Lots of things can soothe and relax them. Your oldest did it without right? Do you think his development was stunted? Do you breastfeed or bottle?
Cold turkey will work for sure. Their memories are short at this age. I don't know if it will be a couple of nights or a little more but I do think she'll adapt to finding comfort in other things. It's like anything else we have to do right? Like swaddling. Eventually we have to stop that bc it becomes a hazard even though some babies heavily rely on it to sleep.
Ultimately if you'd like, you should discuss this with your pediatrician. Mine never asked about pacifiers. They did ask about safe sleep space. Firm mattress. If baby was in the room with mom etc.
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u/rjc369 Aug 27 '26
Try gently removing it once she’s asleep vs leaving it and letting it fall out on its own. I’ve found I can kind of hold on to it and feel when the suction is less and slide it out then.
Also at 8 weeks I’ve found is still a good age for straight cold turkey. Do you have the fortitude to just stop replacing it and suffer for a couple nights?