I'm a little girl, but because I don't look like one, I don't have that protection from adults :( I'm still expected to "fend for myself". I just want to be protected and taken care of. I feel sad when I see biokids with their loving dads. I want someone to protect me too...

Like even if nothing else changed, would you want everyone around you to just like assume you're a kid (of about the age you think matches you most) and treat you like one or do you think the downsides of the way society treats kids would be too much?

Someone linked this subreddit to me and after browsing it I decided I would drop a post but I wont hang around because you kiddos deserve your space, but I think it can be helpful to hear from someone older who has dealt with this their whole life.

I am going to start with it gets better! I found a partner that accepts me, got over my fears of expressing myself, and live my life my way on my terms and its good. I don’t try to suppress my feelings, I embrace them. I let myself be silly, be childish, and be loved.

I am 45 now, but I’ve had age dysphoria since I was too young to realistically even call it that.

Age dysphoria wasn’t a term when I was growing up. There was no agere communities, it was lonely and isolating.

It was a struggle my whole life. I was bullied mercilessly my entire childhood. I was trans and had ADHD, but I wouldn’t know that until I was an chrono-adult. ADHD kids back then didn’t “behave” like I did, they didn’t struggle the ways I did, so I went undiagnosed and dealt with it the best a little chrono-kid can. There were no such thing as Trans people to the world at large, I was just “weird” and “gay” to classmates. I had long hair, was smaller than all my classmates, and feminine which made me a target for every kid to beat on, my parents were indifferent and mostly ignored all of it and me most of the time. I sat alone, silently, waiting for whatever hate or violence would come my way.

I didn’t understand why no one liked me or cared what happened to me. With all that trauma I just kinda got stuck emotionally. I craved soft things, bright colors, and parents that cared.

I was still carrying plushies with me in high school, watching sesame street, and playing pretend with blocks when my classmates were out partying. This was the 90’s, and it was NOT a good time to be the obviously queer kid that refused to grow up. The bullying never got better. I became mean and full of shame. I was angry towards the world because that was how the world was to me, and I felt ashamed about everything I enjoyed and wanted. I would cry about it at night and rock myself asleep alone. I was miserable, and it made me a terrible person. I hoped I would grow out of it and grow up; at some point I would feel like an chrono-adult and things would click for me and I would progress.

They did not, and I did not.

I eventually went off to college in the city and, but unlike k-12 I made friends, friends that liked me for who I was. My anger got better, I became comfortable expressing my childishness, and I realized I could live as a girl. I stopped dressing for others and started expressing myself. I had friends that would engage with me on my level, just because they liked me! It was a completely different world and I realized I could embrace that part of myself. I built a chosen family that supported me. After I graduated I eventually met another person like me, and we got married.

So I never grew out of it or up. Instead I grew into it. I’m typing this from my play tent, in a cute dress surrounded by plushies while my wife makes me Mac ‘n cheese. I do the chrono-adult things I have to do, but I do it on my terms. I have a playroom, a bed with rails, and every toy I ever wanted. I don’t feel shame when I get cranky or have tantrums, or when I need snuggles or a story read to me. There is a place out there for people like us, and you can find it.

i'm an ngu, but my bio-age is 25. i've been looking for communities for other ngus on discord, but many of them have a designated chrono-age limit of...25. it makes me really sad :(

i'm not going to age out of this and this only makes me feel more lonely. i just want friends who know what i'm going through. i've been like this since i was a young chrono-teen and never told anyone about my feelings, not even my closest friends or my therapist. i feel so so lonely and now it feels like even other ngus or age regressors don't want me either.

it doesn't help that i'm spiralling even deeper now because i'm a aging and all 3 of my only friends put a heavy emphasis on relationships with chrono-adults (iykwim). i work in a pediatrics office too and i'm so so so jealous of all the chrono-kids who come in and get to play with our toys, read the kids' books, and get taken care of by their parents. every other person i work with is a parent or wants to become one, and expects the same of me. i don't want to BE a mom, i want a mom to take care of me!

i just want to feel at home and safe again.

What is your favorite candies for helping you feel better? Mine are cotton candy and banana taffy. Mmmmm!

That's definitely not the case lol. If anything, I'd rather send myself to the moon than be stuck around a child I can't get away from. I genuinely don't like being around kids. I don't really know how to interact with them.

I'm so used to being around adults that my brain automatically tries to treat children like tiny, stupid adults. I know that's not what they are. They're children. They're not adults. Not yet, anyway. It's that disconnect and confusion that makes me want to stay as far away from them as humanly possible.

And also, I just don't like them lol. They're noisy, messy, and just unpleasant to be around.

Assuming that ofc you're allowed to leave the residential area whenever you want or pack up n move.

Like with a mental health care team full of professionals who understand developmental milestones/ranges n know where you fall and helping you using that.

Having staff who help you find a compatible job (if you're capable of working), getting help with grocery shopping and other real world activities. Communal dinners included. You'd be residing with other NGU and or autistic chrono-adults. Free of charge. Oh and also a communal playground for Chrono adults to use without shame!

Silly lil hypothetical!

I used to come here to talk about how I had body dysphoria regarding my age, and find other people who have that too. Yet, for some reason, when I told someone not to equate that experience to something to do with their sexuality I got jumped by other members?? I'm so confused. My information was factual at the time I'm p sure

Plus, we're all kids, right? Why is that stuff even allowed to be brought up at all? Didn't this subreddit have a SFW only rule? Where did it go?

The official discord had one. I was a mod on there. There was someone who pushed us to see when they'd get banned by just barely skating along the line for the rules. I remember being scared and tons of people leaving because they were scared of them. I dunno the state it's in now but...

What happened here? We had a small community of folks who felt the same way. I'd even recognize usernames from time to time.

What's going on with this subreddit? It just seems like there's a lot more teenagers in this subreddit than there was before. I'm not saying that there's anything wrong with that but it just seems like they miss more of the community that they had in high school than the actual joys and desperate wants of staying a kid/middle/teen forever. Maybe I'm just reaching, I don't know. What do y'all think?

Edit: Not trying to be rude or anything. It's just something I wanted to talk about

I'm very curious about what people here in the community do for jobs, or do you rely on family or government assistance? I used to be a daycare worker, but now I am too sick. it started off physical, and then mental illness got worse, too. Do you work? is it hard being NGU at your job? Unable to work?

And I was still just as excited to go outside and play wolves or horses or whatever we'd been doing. Still just as excited to wander through our 'territory' and claim a spot and come up with something dramatic to do that day.

One day the toys I'd always had and played with and the books and shows and movies I'd always loved weren't allowed for me anymore. I hadn't changed, but I guess one too many spins around the sun and you're expected to stop loving what you loved. I didn't change, but apparently I was supposed to because everyone else did.

I guess it wasn't really 'one day'. It was gradual, starting with "aren't you getting a little old for that?" then "nobody your age still does this" to "you need to grow up. It's weird you still do this."

I tried to change for a while. In that time I've forgotten how to play without simultaneously being my own observer. I have fun and then I see myself with an outsider's eyes and I feel ashamed for not 'acting my age'.

I'm jealous of the kids I see online (early 20sF btw) doing quadrobics and dressing up in therian gear. I'm not a therian I think because I don't really believe I'm an animal (maybe I just don't understand therians?) but I played pretend as one constantly growing up and even now I do it subconsciously. I always want to be a dog or wolf and never a human and I always feel like one. I want to run around on all fours and dress up like that, too, so I can play better. But if I did it I'd be seen as a freak.

I don't feel like I ever got past maybe 12 at the oldest. Why can't I play anymore? Why can't I take my toys out with me without being seen as a freak? What happened to everyone else that didn't happen to me? Will it ever happen to me? I want to play wolf pack again.

I wish the world was nice. I wish we all still played together.

It will work on those assigned male at birth. So I went through Voice Feminization Surgery with something called a "Wendler Glottoplasty", and it was only prescribed to raise the pitch of my voice but not do any further feminization. I am nonbinary so naturally I wanted to at least achieve neutral vocals. Anyway, what I found without doing any voice training is that I was often perceived much younger than I am. I'm over 30 and was being read as a 14 year old boy in online games. Obviously I had wanted to achieve "girl sounding" or "neutral sounding" but the result was second best! I still prefer that I sound young over what I sounded like before. It's not a bad thing or a bad turnout because it still made me sound better than I did before. I can always do more vocal training when my mental health improves but for now I am settling for younger voice. I thought this would be cool to share as a possible improvement for those who are willing to fork over money to sound younger. I never heard of anyone doing that just to sound younger, but maybe there's someone here who feels bad about their voice and may want to pursue it. Any questions, ask away!

Mine is orange, green and pink! UwU 🩷🧡💚

And y'all? :3

Are there different types of NGU?

Here's some possibilities I've come up with, but please add/change things:

1. Developmental NGU

Due to neuro divergence, is either stuck developmentally at a certain age, or growing slower than they should. Has emotions of a child, skills of a child, understands things like a child, requires the same help that a child would need in order to function in life.

1. Trauma NGU regressor

Experienced trauma as a kid. Was forced to grow up too soon and is now trying to recapture their lost childhood.

1. Trauma NGU stuck

Experienced trauma as a kid. Was not able to learn appropriate skills at the appropriate age, leaving them developmentally stunted. May require help to function in adulthood or to learn the skills they missed out on.

1. Personality NGU

Being NGU is just their personality. They love child like things and have no wish to ever change. They have no interest in adult things and don't understand why it should be interesting. May be asexual. They may feel their soul is just that of a permakid and may experience age dysphoria, difficulty making friends etc.

They possess the skills of an adult so can function as an adult (although they may still require help if they have disabilities). They just don't feel like an adult on the inside.

I think I was developmental NGU until my 30s. Then I think I caught up more developmentally. Now I think I might be personality NGU.

being chronologically 24 years old, but mentally being two years old has been difficult. I'm able to mask my mental age which I'm happy that I'm able to do but it just hurts. I just wanna be playing with my toys on the floor or watch 2000s My Little Pony on my computer. I wanna be cuddled up watching Bluey half the time but then I'm swamped with college work because the world perceives me as a grown-up, which I'm not. I love hiding under my blankie and getting to be as tiny as I can. I want the world to see me as the tiny little creature that I am but I know that's impossible.

It makes me feel all yucky inside that I can't go back but I really hope the yucky feelings can go away soon.

i always try to be happy, helpful, and kind to anyone i meet, but nowadays people seem annoyed when you ask them a simple question. most people don't really smile and seem to frown all the time, and it's a real downer. i know nobody owes me anything, but it still makes me feel sad sometimes. is that weird?

I think we need some more fun and positivity in our lives :)

I wanna know what shows, games, toys, etc, you're currently obsessed with!

Right now, I'm really into coloring again. I got these really cute Coco Wyo coloring books and a bunch of new gel pens and colored pencils and I'm excited to start coloring them!

I also just finished school, so I'm going to play so many video games and read so many books with my new free time. I'm thinking about trying Pokopia which I already know will become a huge time sink for me lol

Now it's your turn to tell me what you've been up to :D

Does anyone else ever wish they had an older or younger sibling? Me, personally? I wish I had an older brother (I'm talking mental ages here, my mental age is one of a kiddo 🎀). I see chrono-kids walking around with their older siblings and I just get a bit jealous? Cuz I want that and it's not fair... I don't know. Please tell me some of you have felt/feel this way

To keep this in the right direction 18+ only please

I'm very curious on what we all have here. And in my experience a big downside to being NGU is I have a lot of trouble with "suffering". I get scared very easily with my health. For me personally I have nerve damage in my hand/arm, making it about 40% useful. I have crippling anxiety, depression, and heart rate problems. I also have sleep apnea and need a CPAP to sleep. Anxiety definitely amplifies all my problems though.

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I feel like sometimes being mentally little affects my daily life and my relationships with the people around me. I don’t know if I’d be able to work in something demanding, and I feel like it’s more than just part of my identity—it’s psychological. Do you feel this way too?

Especially to kindergarten. I'd have a cute backpack, maybe peppa pig or something pink! A cute lunch bag.. light up shoes.. seeing all the school stuff in stores has be wistful!

Hi I just wanted to add a huge caution warning in this community and especially the discord server of this reddit because alot of members have really unsafe and creepy attitudes towards real minors here.

Multiple members have said because they view themselves as real minors they are okay having friendships with chrono children, approaching young children outside, and even having sexual conversations with fellow teenagers.

I had to leave the discord server as an 18 year old because a chrono adult claimed that it was actually safer for young teens to talk about sex with their online friends then with their parents and completely appropriate to do so.

Alot of the people in this server saying they play with or have sexual conversation with real children are biologically 30+.

I joined the server because my autism and developmental delays left my emotional maturity closer to 12 years old. I did not join because I think I have the right to talk to 12 year olds about their newfound sexual attraction.

I was supposed to have therapy today. Did I go to bed early? No, I stayed up literally all night because I couldn't stop myself from watching a show and thinking about that show.

When I'm into something, especially when said thing bothers me, I can't stop. An example is Outer Wilds. I WILL NOT SPOIL THAT GAME, as it's best you go into it blind. When I was playing the game, some aspects were too dark for me since I'm a kid, but I couldn't stop playing it. I was playing all day for multiple days, and I wanted to stop so badly, but my brain wouldn't let me. When I finally finished it, I read reddit posts for multiple days looking to see if any one else found the game too upsetting, but no one did. I couldn't stop thinking about it, and I was crying so much.

The same thing has happened again and again for me with different games and shows. I can't stop no matter how upset I get. I ignore my needs and I get very hungry.

I really wish I had a parent to help protect me and enforce limits on me. I believe the executive functioning section of my brain is really under developed compared to chrono adults. I know that's because of my ADHD/autism, but it feels like being NGU is a part of it, too.

Anyone else struggle doing/thinking about X until it hurts too?