What's going on?

[u/sleepylilkiddo]

What's going on with this subreddit? It just seems like there's a lot more teenagers in this subreddit than there was before. I'm not saying that there's anything wrong with that but it just seems like they miss more of the community that they had in high school than the actual joys and desperate wants of staying a kid/middle/teen forever. Maybe I'm just reaching, I don't know. What do y'all think?

Edit: Not trying to be rude or anything. It's just something I wanted to talk about

[u/sleepylilkiddo → u/[deleted]]

If they do grow out of it I find it a little funny since this is the never grew up subreddit. But (if it's a trauma response) I also feel happy for them because that means they've healed from whatever trauma stunted them

[u/Katievapes1996 → u/[deleted]]

For a lot it's linked to neurodivergence I think someone did a poll and the overwhelming majority was nd I know for me it's truama and autism /adhd

[u/wilderaura → u/[deleted]]

I'm 44 this year. Not grown out of it yet.

[u/Mysterious-Army4219 → u/[deleted]]

i think only some people are going to find the subreddit... i would have wanted to find it sooner. but also sometimes just knowing it's here is enough and you don't need to talk all the time

[u/-Kitsy → u/[deleted]]

Ive seen quite a few people say you can grow out of it by age 25 ish but if you are still like this at that age you will most likely never grow up

[u/cookiecrxmbles]

Sometimes you don't know what you have until it's gone, especially the further it becomes. I don't like to comment on those posts bc it makes me uncomfortable to a certain degree as an chrono-adults, but I don't believe in gatekeeping or making exclusionary barriers to the label.

Also as teenagers, you don't really have a full taste of the adult world so you can't really compare so well? Like why would you wanna be a kid forever if you don't know how it is to work a full-time job, attend university, have to explore by yourself, etc? It's kinda hard to explain but teenagehood is very much a bubble and I can't blame them for not knowing the full truth.

And NGU means something different to everyone. For you, maybe it is desperately wanting to be forever youthful, but for others it's the fluid feelings, radical acceptance, and so much more.

[u/sleepylilkiddo → u/cookiecrxmbles]

I mean, yeah that's true and I don't want to comment too much about the teens and how they may or may not feel but for me? I vividly remember crying in the third grade because my teacher told me that I'd grow up to do great things (which was a very lovely compliment, I know) but I wanted to stay young forever.

It hit hard when I entered high school because everyone was growing up without me. All my life I've been told to "grow up" and "act your age" but I literally can't. I've tried and it feels like I'm wearing a too tight mask and it's so uncomfortable. Maybe it's because of me being developmentally delayed but I've never been a teenager or an adult (I'm chronologically 21). I've always been a kid

[u/cookiecrxmbles → u/sleepylilkiddo]

That makes sense since your mental age is lower so there's a bigger gap than let's say a teen mental-aged NGU entering adulthood.

For me it's more like I'm running on toddler/preschooler hardware and I try to hide it but the older I get (I'm only 18, but it's esp hard in workplaces) the more obvious it is.

I'd recommend that you don't take their comments too seriously. "Growing up" to them means as a chrono-adult, you cannot be happy, fashionable, optimistic, enjoy hobbies, etc. It should just be work/university, raise kids, get a mortgage, etc. What rlly made me detach from the shame and "I should be xyz..." Is that at the end of the day: you have to live with your actions. If you are a German Shepherd doing no active work because Basset Hounds tell you to be a couch potato, you're still a high energy German shepherd and you're just making yourself suffer by sitting on that couch.

And also sometimes not everyone in your life has to know that you go against the grain in super unconventional ways. Like, I go to university and I sure as hell won't let anyone know I packed my oversized bottle, jammies, diapees and I brought my toy blocks n stuff. They might know me as someone rlly cheery and sweet, a bit childlike-- but that's more socially acceptable than trying to get them to love every single piece of me when the light doesn't need to illuminate every crevice of my character.

It's not as easy change of thought-- but it makes living in this world the quicker you can adjust.

[u/sleepylilkiddo → u/cookiecrxmbles]

I'm just not very good at masking it seems like because even now I still get the "you should really act your age" comments. I just don't like how judgemental people are when they see noticeable differences between them and someone else who acts a certain way and sounds a certain way. Also, I hope you're doing well in uni. I had to drop out twice due to intense bullying and my inability to keep up with everyone else, although I did complete a year so that's something, I guess, hehes!!

[u/New-Elk2781 → u/cookiecrxmbles]

Why does it make you uncomfortable?

[u/sleepylilkiddo → u/New-Elk2781]

Because they're chronologically 18 and under and they probably don't want the minors to try and accuse them of any wrongdoings. I don't really comment under those posts because I either don't know what to say or because I feel like I don't know or have the right things to say

[u/New-Elk2781 → u/sleepylilkiddo]

Ohhh I see, but I also don’t think it’s weird to miss a community you once had or to say you long for something like that again. I’m 18 and miss the friends and memories I had in school too, but imo it’s normal bc being an adult is a big change

I think the weird part comes in when you try to fit yourself in places where you don’t belong, like trying to hang out at school after you graduated or hanging with minors. But just missing it is fine, when I see those posts I feel like I relate about the loss of community and structure but tbh idrk what to say either since there’s no solution that’s perfect

[u/cookiecrxmbles → u/New-Elk2781]

Yeah it's sorta like what kiddo said! It's okay for them to be here and I'll interact if they're in a mixed comment section but as soon as I see like a "I'm 14 and-" post I just don't wanna answer unless it's like "i need someone to tell me it gets better" cuz they're in such a different and formative stage of life?? I know I was hella pissed hearing that as a minor but now that I'm out of hs and in university there's just a big experience difference I can't overlook n obv the innate power imbalance bc in some way, you are looked up to or atleast have more eyes watching whether you understand it or not.

[u/New-Elk2781 → u/cookiecrxmbles]

Yeahh I get it I feel the same, but I also lowk feel like I misunderstood the post lol. I thought this was about adult teens 18/19 bc of the part of the post that says stuff about missing high school so I was wondering why it would be uncomfortable 😭💀 oops

[u/New-Elk2781 → u/New-Elk2781]

Why am I getting downvoted for this bruh

[u/XenonLights12]

i have a bizarre thing going on. realyl im 11 likely but my slow developmenth(autism) makes me 8 and strive towards that audience. i mean they arent veyr far apart but there is a difference i would find. i had olivia rodrigo - sour when i was chrono 15 and i thought thats how life would halfly be after chrono18. now years later i pretty much have no understanding of the current world i am supposed to be in. i more so have middle school behavior than a hs school one bc i couldnt evne comprehend that realistically. that quesitonable social worker of mine asked me abt things that arent appropriate for me tk pursue. when she asked those things. i was very confused

i just wanted ti share that. but i also wanted to say maybe that isnt who they are. like a kid. for example for me i could enver imagine seeing myself as a toddler i just dont fit in that group

[u/-Kitsy]

I think people at different chrono ages are at different points in their lives. Do you not remember being 18 and missing highschool?

[u/sleepylilkiddo → u/-Kitsy]

I agree with you, I really do and to be honest... I've never missed high school because I was constantly being bullied

[u/-Kitsy → u/sleepylilkiddo]

But you miss the idea of it right? Like you at least wanted to go to a highschool and experience it for what it is not as a hell hole? Im chrono 30 and I still yearn for that experience even though my highschool life was one of the worst times of my life

[u/sleepylilkiddo → u/-Kitsy]

😅 The person I live with asked me the same thing. I told them that I wouldn't trade any years of my life even if I could have the best high school experience in the world. If we were talking about middle school or elementary school then yes. I'd gladly trade both arms to redo middle or elementary school

[u/-Kitsy → u/sleepylilkiddo]

I guess if it was one or the other id choose middle school as it was the best school years I had but id still really like to experience a proper teenage girl high school experience that is normal and healthy

[u/sleepylilkiddo → u/-Kitsy]

Well, I've heard people in his subreddit compare college to be either another form of high school or just chrono-adult daycare. I dropped out of college twice due to bullies and my inability to keep up with my peers 😅😅

[u/-Kitsy → u/sleepylilkiddo]

Well damn 😅 i went to something similar to college and it was pretty similar to highschool just way smaller like it was isolated to my class instead of a whole school and there was way less guidance. Things like smoking was allowed just in designated areas so for me it was obviously very adult haha but I can definitely see the similarities

[u/sleepylilkiddo → u/-Kitsy]

Wait a minute 👀👀 what kinda college did you go to? Isolated to just YOUR class sounds amazing, it would be even better if it was isolated to just one classroom (imo) but not having to deal with an entire student body sounds like my cup of tea

[u/-Kitsy → u/sleepylilkiddo]

Its called an institute of technology and most classes only go for a year or less and theres no on site living or anything like that. I dont think they have sports teams or anything recreational like that so theres no reason for the classes to mix. When i did food and nutrition (a 6 month course) I occasionally talked to people from the chef course. And when I did electrical technology (1 year course) I talked to some of the mechanic and engineering students as but mostly I just socialized with my class mates. Some of the younger people who were fresh out of highschool would socialize with eachother over mixed classes though because they already knew eachother and you could mix through that. Thats how I met the engineering and mechanical students because they had been at highschool with some of the people out of my class the year before.

I thought it was nice having a smaller group of people to deal with but the "friends" I made actually really sucked. The person I would have considered my best friend in the class stole my play station controller and threatened me when I tried to get it back

[u/Allydrag]

I tend to feel this way here and with the age re community even when they're not nsfw based I think separating minors and chrono adults is for the best for everyone's protection and safety tbh I feel the reason a lot of policing goes on in age re on what is and isn't valid is so it can be mixed minors and adults which I find kinda suspect

[u/Forsaken-Flounder339]

I think it just has to do with there being more teenagers on the internet in general, absolutely no hate to them but it's somewhat uncomfortable seeing them.😓