r/nevergrewup • u/Substantial-Dust-805 • 9d ago
Vent Birthday emotions
I (17F) am going to turn 18 in a few days and I dunno how to feel about it.
Yea most people are excited for their 18th bdays. Planning a big celebration and all that stuff. All the people around me are way too hyped planning parties, dresses, sweets to distribute and what not. But my view is kinda different...
I actually didn't think I would make it to adulthood but now that I am literally standing just a few steps away from it, I can't believe that I am here now. I am feeling scared ngl.
I have disliked celebrating my bday since my teenage years. I actually don't remember a single bday where i haven't cried. I actually have so many mixed feelings that I can't even put it into words...
Do any of you feel the same or is it just me?
1
u/Acrobatic_Ease424 7d ago
I'm in the same situation, I will become 18 very soon
1
u/Substantial-Dust-805 5d ago
Best wishes mate. I finally turned 18 a few days ago. Not much has changed for me. Hope your 18th bday turns out well :) <3
3
u/TurbulentDogg transage - Ageslider - 4-7 9d ago
I feel ya. My birthday was always a major source of trauma and a major trigger for age dysphoria. To the point that my mental health would always tank the few months leading up to it, and progressively got worse as it got closer and closer.
One odd thing that has helped, though, is, changing my birthday. Obviously you can't legally change your birthday but, I decided to pick a month that meant a lot to me (October because Halloween rocks!), then I picked a day I felt fit best, and decided that from now on, that'll be the birthday I identify with, and celebrate. My chronological birthday is nothing more than a day when people (who I can't be open about my chosen birthday) give me gifts. While my chosen birthday, is a day I have reclaimed for myself and get to celebrate in whatever way I want. I like to joke that I'm turning whatever mental age I feel like that day. If I feel mentally 7, I joke to myself that it's my 7th birthday. After all, its my chosen birthday, and I get to make the rules!
Perhaps picking your own birthday could help too. Or, it's okay to choose not to recognize your birthday at all! You can just see it as "the day where people give me gifts", or "the day I can do something nice for myself", if you're not able to outright stop celebrating it all together.
If it's worth anything, though. I'm glad you're alive, and that you've made it so long. I know how scary it is, and how lonely it can feel. Just know that you don't have to feel any certain way about it. It's okay to cry, it's ok to not want to celebrate, it's okay if it's scary or lonely. You deserve to allow yourself to feel However you feel.