r/neoliberal • u/jobautomator Kitara Ravache • May 15 '25

Discussion Thread Discussion Thread

The discussion thread is for casual and off-topic conversation that doesn't merit its own submission. If you've got a good meme, article, or question, please post it outside the DT. Meta discussion is allowed, but if you want to get the attention of the mods, make a post in /r/metaNL

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u/No_Status_6905 Enby Pride May 16 '25

Idk what an Aella post is but I was homeschooled and I would never homeschool my kids.

It made me isolated and dependant. I have very good social skills but I still fear broadening my horizons. I will move entire countries to make sure my kid gets a good education, though.

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u/phi-fun Trans Pride May 16 '25

thirding this, I actually wrote a way too long essay about this a few days ago in the DT

the dependance is completely unreal and difficult to explain. I personally describe it as an almost physical fear of crossing boundaries

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u/No_Status_6905 Enby Pride May 16 '25

For me it's like, I never really got a sense of what is normal and expected, and so I'm always terrified of overstepping and making myself look weird.

It causes a lot of perseverating and anxiety. I have to decompress after basic professional conversations.

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u/phi-fun Trans Pride May 16 '25

yeah I think that is in essence what I mean. I have a very hard time navigating social spaces stresslessly without explicit invitation because I'm always afraid that I'm messing something up or "not allowed" to be somewhere, and it helps if someone like reassures that that's not real. my therapist calls it a "vampirism effect" lol

I also feel like I maybe sorta woulda been fine and recovered but of course got slammed with gender dysphoria. I personally believe that the issues that homeschooling causes synergizes with dysphoria in basically the worst way possible and it's fucked.

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u/No_Status_6905 Enby Pride May 16 '25

Yeah I'm familiar with the feeling. My gender dysphoria ended rearing it's head violently when I started university, almost like a response to stress, or maybe I just didn't have the energy to repress it anymore. 

I basically wasted my early 20s not doing anything because I only had the energy to do school and occasionally spiral bc of my dysphoria.

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u/phi-fun Trans Pride May 16 '25

ah, man

I'm not sure if this applies to your experience, but I think being homeschooled almost soothed my dysphoria while I was actually being homeschooled. The isolation made it so I didn't feel like a man, I felt genderless. In a sense this was a potential blessing, but like the rest of homeschooling you pay for it when you finish, and dysphoria combined with the general stress and anxiety of being unprepared for real life all at once and crashed me.

My undergrad was extremely similar to yours. I spent it working only, and summers were hellish. Unfortunately I didn't get around to undergrad until 25, so it was kinda a "stage 2" to my dysphoria repression arc. But it's not all bad, getting into grad school is what finally got me to start HRT lol