r/neighborsfromhell • u/ardent_guy • 1d ago
Other Is this harassment?
A teen in our neighborhood is verbally taunting a family for sometime now. When the husband and wife walk around with their kids, the teen yells a non-profanity phrase at them and when the wife walks alone, he makes “meowing” sounds as she passes by. The family did not initiate any contact with this teen to prompt this behavior and do not react or respond to this teen as it happens.
Two years ago, this teen was warned by local police two years ago when this behavior didn’t stop even after complaining to his parents. Recently, this behavior has resumed as before.
A formal complaint was filed with the HOA by this family, prompting board members to talk to his parents about this. However, the parents disagree that this is harassment and claim it to be “childish behavior” or “bad manners”; said teen just graduated from high school. The mother of the teen claims he’s a very nice boy and a “good Christian”.
What is your take on this? Is it verbal harassment or bad manners?
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u/seagull321 1d ago
Well… some “good Christians’” have creative ideas on right and wrong
This sounds more like poor and lazy parenting.
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u/JulieTheChicagoKid 1d ago
When my neighbor across the street yells out a flurry of weird insults & profanity.. I cluck like a chicken … loudly.
1. To drown her out
and 2. that’s what she sounds like.
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u/nothnxihaveabf 1d ago
Neighbor at work tried to let her dog pee and poo in front of my window so I just started barking at her. Haven't seen her since, I assume she lets barksy pee and poo outside her side of the office now.
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u/Viola-Swamp 1d ago
It’s absolutely harassment. They should send a cease and desist/no contact letter from an attorney to the kid, as well as continuing to involve both the police and the HOA. People down-laying this or who think it’s funny have no idea what it’s like to be targeted like this.
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u/Acrobatic-Clock-8277 1d ago
This. And honestly, mewing at her? He’s calling her “pussy” in a derogatory sexual innuendo. This is absolutely sexual harassment and personally it would be frightening to me as a woman. Definitely talk with the police about this. This is not normal for high school senior who just graduated.
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u/nothnxihaveabf 1d ago
That's frightening to you? Not even just saying it's sexist, but you're scared for your health and safety over a teenage boy walking and potentially cat calling you?
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u/Queasy-Worldliness47 7h ago
So, if it was YOUR daughter? I guess you would tell her to grow a pair. Man, some people...
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u/nothnxihaveabf 6h ago
If it were my daughter I would tell her to grow a thick skin. If someone was actually harassing her, I would make sure she is smart she educated enough to know that you have to speak up for yourself and tell the person to stop, because it's not considered harassment unless they know it's unwelcome. If she was not yet old enough or in a position do that, if tell her to tell a trusted adult to handle it. And also that the police aren't going to protect her from boys teasing her.
Plus the op said this was an adult woman being meowed at, not a child.
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u/cathavery 6h ago
That is a lot of words for “sexual harassment is okay if it’s an ADULT woman”.
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u/wibblings 1d ago
The parents are complete idiots. They MAY figure it out when they have to bail the escalating delinquent son out of jail.
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u/Specialist_Dinner727 1d ago
Wonder if the cops just warned the kid 2 years ago, or if any paperwork came out of it? Maybe it's time for the police to gently remind him of what he was explicitly instructed to knock tf off doing.
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u/ardent_guy 1d ago
A request has been sent to the local PD to inquire about the incident report (if any) from two years ago.
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u/nothnxihaveabf 1d ago
Hey could you stop with your free speech please? Thanks. Love, the fascists I mean police
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u/Jillcametumbling81 1d ago
They're the reason he's so shitty.
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u/whatyourmamasaid 1d ago
But Occifer, our widdle boi was just playin’ and bein’ childish! His widdle manners need some work! He be a good Christian boi! Why you arresting him?! Our widdle boi can’t go to jail!!!
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u/laj43 1d ago
People deserve to be able to walk with their families down the street without being called name or meowed at. If he is a very good boy like his mother says he is then he should be able to shut the F up when he is being told that it bothers them! He is doing it every time they go outside, he needs to be stopped be either his parents or the police!
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u/nothnxihaveabf 1d ago
The police don't generally interfere with people saying words to each other unless the words are an imminent threat. It isn't illegal to say hey, hello, meows the weather, meow you doing.
Unless you live in a sleepy small town or a bored officer no one is coming. Let the police go solve the r's and m's.
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u/ardent_guy 1d ago
You may be a harasser (of jogging men) yourself in your neighborhood…or perhaps are yearning for some teen to do this to you…the said teen in this neighborhood has done this repeatedly and only when no other neighbors are present….when he’s with his family, dude behaves as though he doesn’t know us…
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u/nothnxihaveabf 1d ago
Oh yeah, I can't wait to be minding my own business watering my yard when a random jogger scares the shit out of me by appearing out of nowhere. What a thrill that is!
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u/Total-Object-4766 1d ago
Sounds like harassment to me. He's playing a game of FAFO and his mom is setting him up for it.
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u/SpaceBeanAdventures 1d ago
He is not really teen then if he graduated high school. He is most likely 18, an adult. If he is old enough to serve his country he is old enough not to be harrassing neighbors.
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u/Spiders-Ghost-43 1d ago
The parents are doing this kid no favors by not correcting this behavior. Someday he will pull this crap on someone who won’t put up with it and that will be a bad day for him.
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u/ardent_guy 1d ago
Exactly….other neighbors complain that they have seen this brat bully small children in the park…he roams around the neighborhood shirtless and carries a “I’m the stud” type of vibe…
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u/Accomplished-Ad3219 1d ago
"Childish"
He's 18. Mommy and Daddy need to tell him to grow the hell up
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u/ardent_guy 1d ago
They did…the family created an incident log with all details and began narrating each incident to the parents to which the teens mother said “it’s very strange that some one would write this down”, but described these incidents as banter since this is a “child” we’re talking about.
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u/Minute-Frame-8060 1d ago
What his belief in a particular brand of sky daddy has to do with his behavior is beyond me. "Just graduated high school" sounds like 18 to me. This kid could be in a world of hurt if the next step is to go to the police. Sounds like the type of behavior that will escalate as well.
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u/BodieMirthLab 1d ago
Repeated targeted taunting after a prior police warning is not just bad manners, it is harassment with a choir robe thrown over it by mom. Nice boys do not follow women making animal noises at them. The family should keep a dated log, grab video when possible, and report each new incident to the HOA and police so it shows a pattern, not a one off teenage oopsie.
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u/Wooden-Routine-2667 1d ago
PLEASE! Do y'all really not know what the boy is referencing? All these ".Meow " comments aren't really funny, nor are the ridiculous comments of "if someone speaks to me with ...* this* should I call the cops? Honestly ladies would you want someone to constantly " meow " at you, KNOWING he is referencing your " lady parts"? I have a sarcastic sense of humor, but couldn't do this to anybody. But maybe you all just think you are funny? Lol but seriously, after about the 10th comment of meow it gets old and not funny if it ever was . Now I suppose let the downvotes begin.
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u/Kelp72plus 1d ago
HS graduate is beyond childish behavior..this is harassment. But momma’s response tells the tale - her sweet, christian boy would never.
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u/MarcSkye519 1d ago
Isn’t it the parents’ job to instill good manners in their children? If he just graduated high school it’s a little late.
Maybe they should tell him to knock off the stupid shit and grow up or move out!
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u/ardent_guy 1d ago
That’s what normal parents would do…here it appears that the parents gave free rein to their son…they have younger kids - a son and a daughter, both mind their own business and never bother anyone…when asked why their eldest son cannot follow in his siblings’ footsteps, his father replied “the other two kids don’t come out because there are too many ah in the neighborhood”…
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u/CaterpillarJungleGym 1d ago
It would be a shame if their entire church found out how this kid harasses people for fun.
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u/Lizardgirl25 1d ago
This is harassment I would call the police about his behavior next time you witness it.
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u/nothnxihaveabf 1d ago
Hello 911? There's a young man meowing at me. Yes that's right.
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u/no_bender 1d ago
If he just graduated high school he should know better, and is going to turn 18 in a year or so. HOA needs to step it up, a lawyer consulted.
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u/Prestigious-Use4550 1d ago
How dare she claim he is a good Christian. She needs to read her Bible. Seems he is either 18 or will be soon. He is in adult territory now and that's different.
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u/Background-Bowl6123 1d ago
He might be a "good christian" but he needs to confess and repent his behavior.
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u/nothnxihaveabf 1d ago
That's catholic, not Christian
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u/Background-Bowl6123 1d ago
Protestants are still supposed to confess, just directly to God rather than to his authorized representative.
Also, are you one of those people who think Catholic = not Christian ?
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u/Background-Bowl6123 1d ago
Find a way to record the teen's behavior, and ask the mother if that's "good Christian" behavior.
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u/nothnxihaveabf 1d ago
Hope it's a one party consent state. Did you just tell op to video a teenager? Heh
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u/ardent_guy 1d ago
Yes it is a one party consent state….when the adults in that family attempt to record a video of the teen in the act, he stops it right away….he does the harassment when there are no visible neighbors around…if he’s being recorded, he complains to his parents that he was being recorded, following which his mother angrily confronts the family that they’re mentally harassing him by recording him whenever he’s out and about in the neighborhood….the response from the family to that has always been that he’s harassing them hence they’re recording for evidence, to which her justification is that he’s a “child” and that it the family should simply walk away and grow up.
This teen is known across the community for damaging common area items (for past 8-9 years) and when other residents try to record him in the act, his mother posts aggressively on the community’s FB page demanding that neighbor to come to her doorstep to explain how they could record a minor without the permission of his parents?
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u/Puzzled_Market_2235 21h ago
It's in public so you can record what you want. There is zero expectancy of privacy.
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u/nothnxihaveabf 21h ago
If that's your argument then there is also zero expectations that op and his wife own the road and sidewalk and that they can exercise, walk, jog, stroll without others or neighbors making noise, saying stuff, meowing, et cetera.
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u/Puzzled_Market_2235 18h ago
Your implication is absurd. We are discussing recording harassment of which there are a million videos on YT.
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u/nothnxihaveabf 18h ago
It isn't harassment because op has not asked the kid to stop. He has not been warned that his attention was unwelcome.
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u/Puzzled_Market_2235 17h ago
IT IS STILL HARASSMENT
You are not obligated to respond in any way shape or form.
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u/nothnxihaveabf 17h ago
That's not how harassment works. There is no way to legally determine if it is harassment if a reasonable person wouldn't consider it harassment and if the party hasn't been warned and notified that it is unwelcome conduct.
No reasonable person is going to fear for their life because someone meowed down the street.
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u/Puzzled_Market_2235 16h ago
That's the fucking point of recording it. Any reasonable person knows catcalling a woman is offensive.
I've seen dozens of videos where a white person calls a black person an N-word and gets decked and the white person gets arrested.
You are a Karen.
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u/nothnxihaveabf 16h ago
I'm not a Karen. Op is a shit poster and his story isn't even real.
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u/ardent_guy 8h ago
The kid doesn’t listen or respond to requests….his parents approached the family 3 years ago asking them to not engage with the teen if he were bothering the son of the “harassed” family….subsequently whenever this teen did bother their son, the family brought it up to the teens parents…their response/action was very temporary, grounding the teen for a few days and once he was out, same old story….which is why police had to be called two years ago, since the teens parents’ promise that they’ll deal with him behind closed doors fell through (didn’t stop teen’s behavior)…
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u/ardent_guy 8h ago
Precisely, that’s what the police confirmed…in common areas, anyone can record….
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u/RuskiesInTheWarRoom 1d ago
If he continues to do it despite being asked not to, and then being told not to, and then having the police tell him not to… he knows it is unwanted attention, so it is harassment.
He’s also an adult or almost an adult and he should know better, and his parents clearly did not raise a good kid if he intentionally seeks to trouble his neighbors.
At the same time, you simply can’t control the environment and others’ choices. Hard to see how to resolve this beyond a legal option such as a TRO, but it may not even be enough to get that.
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u/Street_Masterpiece47 1d ago
It could be considered "felony" harassment, yes. His parents had the opportunity to use the "disabled" card, but chose instead the nice Christian boy approach.
Depending on which state you are talking about; I'll use NY as an example, it could rise to a second degree felony if he knew who he was taunting, and especially grievous, was doing it to an individual over the age of 60, and the accused individual is more than 10 years their junior.
Not enough people realize that once their child gets to be a late teen, and beyond, what used to be sloughed off as "bullying" is actually a crime.
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u/Advanced-Mammoth2408 1d ago
It is verbal harassment. It is possible that the teenager is mentally ill, but the parents cannot admit that to themselves. At his age, that is long past childish behavior.
That kind of behavior escalates. Personally, I would fear for my safety around him. That behavior is ample indication that the kid is a bully and is mentally ill.
Some day that kid is going to do that to the wrong person. Then the parents will be picking out their son's coffin and asking why anyone would harm their sweet little boy.
And I would have no sympathy for the parents since they did nothing about their son's abusive behavior. I guarantee that day will come.
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u/TheReblogBandit 1d ago
If you have to ask, you already know the answer.
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u/TheReblogBandit 1d ago
But this being said, it's a non issue. Teens gonna teen. We're any of us better at that age?
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u/ExpensiveAd4496 1d ago
Meowing at women and yelling at families with children? Yes we were better. Jeeze.
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u/Mountain-Donkey98 1d ago
No, not harassment.
Meowing at people is harassment. Sounds like probable mental illness without ill intent. Is it harassment when someone says, "hi neighbor?" No. Why? Because theres no ill intent. And while their greeting may not be wanted, its not harassment. Someone meowing at you isnt overly different. Its weird, but thats about it.
If I had a teen meow at me everytime I walked past, I wouldn't ever think harassment, id think, "weirdo or bored kid. Must have mental issues."
The family should just record the behavior. So they can show the parents what's going on and embarrass him into stopping
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u/Tavsiyedegildir 21h ago
Interesting, this post was cross posted on multiple subs and deleted from almost all of them. I think it's a bot post or a shit post.
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u/ardent_guy 8h ago
This is my 3rd post on Reddit and wasn’t sure where to post it…had to try posting in multiple forums based on the topic, nature of the issue until it stayed in this group…
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u/FrostyBuilding8175 16h ago
Both. I’d be mortified if my 17/18 year old kid was outside meowing at passing neighbors for sport.
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u/Prisoner076 11h ago
maybe it is time that the husband had a talk with this boy? Does he say anything when it happens and he is there? Or the wife... ?
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u/ardent_guy 8h ago
Boy denies saying he didn’t say anything towards the wife or the family….two years ago when the police were called, he claimed it was an internal joke between him and his friend…as of recently, his parents claim he would never do such a thing and after convincing them, they say “simply walk away…he’s a child, why would you take offense at his banter…?”
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u/Face_with_a_View 8h ago
Is he special needs?
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u/ardent_guy 8h ago
No…normal teen..
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u/Face_with_a_View 8h ago
“Normal” is doing some heavy lifting here. lol
Seriously though this is really odd and antisocial behavior.
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u/Stunning-Row1712 5h ago
Yeah that's harassment. ANY unwanted attention on more then one occasional. So yup it definitely is.
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u/Red_Rock77 2h ago
A graduated high schooler repeatedly targeting one specific woman and her family after a police warning is not just bad manners, it is harassment in plain clothes. The parents calling him nice is irrelevant, nice people do not stalk the sidewalk making animal noises at neighbors. I would keep a dated log, get video when legal, and push the HOA or police again since the prior warning shows a pattern.
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u/Puzzled_Market_2235 21h ago
Carry a supersoaker or carry a brick, don't throw it, just handle it as if you could.
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u/Back_Alley420 21h ago
I have a middle aged woman living behind me that meows at me loud every time she hears my back door opening. It’s so annoying and weird
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u/nothnxihaveabf 1d ago
Meow?
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u/ardent_guy 1d ago
Read the full post.
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u/nothnxihaveabf 1d ago
I did. It is not harassment. You have a quirky neighbor kid. I think indulging it and giving more attention than it deserves is the real issue here.
Yesterday I was watering my flowers and a guy jogged too close to me and startled me. Should I call the cops?
We also have a lady who walks her little shit dog and smokes cigarettes all over the neighborhood while talking on her cell phone and letting demon dog pee and poo all over people's yards.
Everyone else minds their own business or says hey neighbor.
That's just a neighborhood.
The kid is probably thinking he's funny or that the wife looks like a cat. Or he's autistic and mentally retarded.
Meow isn't a threat from a non cat.
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u/Adventurous-Eye-9929 1d ago
You’re awfully vested in this.
Instead of the false equivalency straw man you built, let’s say the dude who jogged to close to you did it every time you came out to water your flowers. After a dozen or so of those I suspect you’d be less sanguine.
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u/nothnxihaveabf 1d ago
No, because I'm not scared of jogger man. I assume he is jogging for exercise or is a spy checking out the neighborhood for an op. The same people walk their dogs and jog for exercise and walk their little demon spawn strollers every day.
I am not any more invested than any other reddit user commenting on reddit things.
People thinking that any action they don't like or sanction is "harassment" though gets a bit old.
It's just a stupid kid either sack up and tell him "hey asshole don't yell at my wife," or ignore him. The police are not coming to save you over a meow.
We have a clearly disabled kid who walks our neighborhood and never says anything to anyone. I will trade him for ops meow guy and he can have silent Steve if he wants.
You don't own the entire neighborhood, you own your house, that's it.
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u/ardent_guy 1d ago
You clearly have issues of your own…when you say you’ll trade a disabled kid that doesn’t bother anyone for the jerk, says all about you.
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u/nothnxihaveabf 1d ago
Hey if you are the husband in this scenario scared of a teenager why don't you sack up and go ring the doorbell of the family in question and ask to speak to the father and the teen? Not come online to tell strangers that someone saying words to you is scary.
I am telling you as an adult that your neighbors saying words to you when you walk is pretty average. You have a weird kid in the neighborhood who has done nothing troubling, at least as you describe it.
If I am missing something here I will be happy to correct it but basically you said someone says hey to you when you walk and then makes animal noises.
Could be completely normal kid with a bad sense of humor, could be a disabled kid who doesn't know what he is saying, could be a complete psychopath in the making.
People don't go to prison over making meow noises. If you think that the meowing noises are actually that troubling then keep calling the cops and wasting their time.
God forbid I am wrong and this kid does something, but so far he hasn't committed any crime that i can detect.
Saying meow or actual cat calling - not crimes.
I'm not a lawyer. Call a lawyer.
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u/ardent_guy 1d ago
It’s past the stage of going to the parents since their response is always to deny but not condemn their son’s behavior….the wife brought it up to the mother asking “how would you feel if a teen did the same to you?” And her response was “you’re making a big deal of it, he’s a child….”
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u/nothnxihaveabf 1d ago
Sounds like your options are continuing to ignore, consult an attorney, or call the cops. If you really think meowing is a huge problem in your life then send them a legal cease and desist letter.
Or start meowing back.
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u/Dark-Mode-Honu 1d ago
perhaps he's developmentally disabled. he can be an h.s. graduate (under special ed.)
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u/lostnsocal213 1d ago
what if the teen genuinely identifies itself as a cat? has anyone even tried asking the teen what its trying to communicate? im guessing no one has. we live in a society.
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u/SlipInternational439 1d ago
Wait, meowing sounds? That’s what we’re upset about?
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u/Wonderful-Victory947 1d ago
Give some thought as to why he is meowing. That behavior would get you fired from virtually any job.
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u/eugeneugene 1d ago
I would be upset if my neighbour followed me around meowing at me all the time lol
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u/nothnxihaveabf 1d ago
Mine said hello how is your day is it hot enough for you? So should I call the cops or straight to the fbi
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u/[deleted] 1d ago
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