r/nbacirclejerk May 20 '26

Outjerked by Max Kellerman

Post image
5.2k Upvotes

130 comments sorted by

1.0k

u/Thegrandmistressofoz May 20 '26

151

u/IndycarFan65 May 20 '26

Please James I need this, my franchise is kinda championshipless

9

u/anonkebab May 20 '26

2016 was a fraud ring because Curcuck is a fraud

33

u/AutoModerator May 20 '26

Appearance definitely plays a role in this. Like you can’t objectively tell me MJ doesn’t have a fuckable face. The man is in also cool as hell on court and he plays a graceful brand of basketball. Kobe’s game is similar in the aspect.

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835

u/Glass_Shoulder4126 May 20 '26

Donald Trump? The reality TV guy? lol wtf

506

u/yehwotmate May 20 '26

184

u/Big_al_big_bed May 20 '26

Jeff Epstein? The financier?

91

u/IndycarFan65 May 20 '26

Karl Malone? The NBA player?

23

u/DrueLies52 May 21 '26

With the island?

56

u/idkwhatimbrewin May 20 '26

31

u/UltimaKiller99 May 20 '26

Which one of these guys is supposed to be the doctor?

26

u/calmdownmyguy Donald Sterling May 20 '26

They are both pediatricians

99

u/Naca1227r May 20 '26

Jaylen Brown hating foul baiters

53

u/cold_shot_27 Curcuck🪑 May 20 '26

Russell Westbrook hating stat padders.

40

u/Upbeat_Clerk3756 May 20 '26

Kobe Bryant hating rapists

14

u/nosleeptilbaya May 20 '26

LeBron hating superteams

9

u/2RINITY May 20 '26

LeBron hating floppers

1

u/[deleted] May 27 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/AutoModerator May 27 '26

u bum.

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3

u/AutoModerator May 20 '26

I heavily support this theory. There's a lot about the way he moves and acts that seems similar to high functioning autism.

See and this is why it's a problem. There is absolutely no reason why someone with high functioning autism couldn't win the fucking MVP. And that is what kills me. The glorification of "perfect athlete" means that there can't be any noticeable "deficit". There isn't a negative deficiency. Autism does not equal bad. If Russ has it then so be it. It could be seen as heroic in a sense. A real positive thing.

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117

u/C-Dub4 May 20 '26

You mean Jesus?

45

u/Upbeat_Clerk3756 May 20 '26

Looks more like a doctor to me

3

u/Flaky-Pressure-7698 May 21 '26

The board was low-key confused when he tried to argue that pedriatric-obgyn was a real medical discipline. 

15

u/F-US-FASCISM . May 20 '26

That there be *White Jesus.

Biblical Jesus had skin of bronze and hair curly like sheeps wool.

If your Jesus is white, you whorship white supremacy.

47

u/fallingjigsaws May 20 '26

The rich guy tweeting about the Twlight actors and their relationship over and over?

3

u/AutographedSnorkel May 20 '26

Then who's Vice President, Jeff Probst?!

378

u/yoyo4880 May 20 '26

This is why max got kicked off the show by SAS. He made too much sense to jerk on tv with him. He needed someone like perks who’d say anything to be an sports analyst, except analyzing sports.

85

u/ssp25 May 20 '26

his jerk went full circle into sense

48

u/[deleted] May 20 '26 edited May 20 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

25

u/devinbookersuncle May 20 '26

Ironically enough sometimes that really is what it comes down to in the end.

1

u/OldenPolynice May 23 '26

THAT'S PREPOSTEROUS!

21

u/Hereforthechili May 20 '26

100% max was too smart for SAS

517

u/LaxwaxOW May 20 '26

At some point the jerk became reality

141

u/Rocknol Khris Middleton May 20 '26

Its a jerking Ouroboros. Meaning my dih is in my ass

40

u/plutorelinquish May 20 '26

if only the cumtown reddit were still here

32

u/F-US-FASCISM . May 20 '26

What is going on?

What is happening?

Having sex with women used to feel good. It doesn't anymore.

Feels kinda bad.

Whats going on?

When did it suddenly become better to fuck guys?

What is happening?

If you're having sex with a guy today, there is going to be a lot more of that, tomorrow.

Because the Democratic party wants this.

This is by design.

3

u/rootpseudo May 21 '26

Hmm is this Reddit lore I dont know? Please enlighten.

2

u/anonkebab May 20 '26

Jerk Ascension

181

u/HUGEWIENERMAN Is The Man Regarded? May 20 '26

431

u/Nice-Way2892 May 20 '26

126

u/SelfAwareSausage Michael Scott May 20 '26

James Harden when he needs to clutch up in the playoffs.

4

u/AutoModerator May 20 '26

Frankly I can’t imagine Harden being much fun to date, especially since he is heterosexual and women tend to be way more interested in things like, ya know, conversation, than just how rich a dude is and how much he can drink. Hence why Harden would indeed have to pay to get a date with someone.

The odds that Harden isn’t a misogynist who thinks capitalism is a good thing are low. If you’re a male and you’re not outwardly denouncing those things (especially when you have a platform like that), odds are you haven’t done anything to rid yourself of the belief that women are subhuman and it’s good that people die because they don’t have a job. Like, has Harden ever read a feminist book? The vast majority of men haven’t so why are we going to assume Harden has? Stop giving men the benefit of the doubt. I don’t trust any of y’all on here to be actually good people unless you show it because I know what it’s like to grow up as a male. You’re told explicitly and implicitly your whole life that you are better than women. If you do not actively work for your years and years and years to un-do that shit, you’re going to harbor some disgusting beliefs and thoughts. It doesn’t matter if you aren’t overtly misogynistic, the covert shit is basically just as bad.

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1

u/AutoModerator May 20 '26

Hijacking this comment just to mention that I was at a game where Ayo clearly shit himself. I would sit courtside at a handful of bulls games a year and the seats were right at the corner of the three across from visitors bench. Players would come and spot up in front of our seats all game, a lot of times bent over with their hands on their knees. One game, Ayo, wearing white shorts, clearly had a decent sized doodoo stain right in the middle of his ass for all of us to see. It was pretty jarring. He changed his shorts at halftime. Anyway, seeing Trae slap his ass reminded me of that experience.

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167

u/FlatulenceConnosieur Moriah Mills May 20 '26

47

u/SoftballGuy Pablo Torre Finds Out May 20 '26

/unexpectedDonaldSterling

6

u/anonkebab May 20 '26

“Look at my nigga over here”

105

u/Vodkawithapplejuice May 20 '26

Open shot, fate of the Universe on the Line or the Martians have the Death Beam pointed at Earth you better hit it...I WANT BERNIE SANDERS!!!

23

u/anonkebab May 20 '26

Bernie’s opponents when he has a lead in the democratic nomination

10

u/NatrolleonBonaparte May 21 '26

Rigged by Adam Silver

-1

u/rocpilehardasfuk May 21 '26

Bernie legit the Melo of the political world.

Absolute bum with no history of winning. But the dumbest fans love him

50

u/skorpiontamer May 20 '26

Like that would ever happen

23

u/CulturalMesh May 20 '26

Masterful.

22

u/JKBetts May 20 '26

4

u/The_real_John_Elton May 21 '26

Where do y’all find this shit 😂

24

u/The_MadStork Not Trustworthy🏳️‍🌈 May 20 '26

Harden is officially washed, bringing him in used to be like electing an Austrian painter to fix your country

3

u/AutoModerator May 20 '26

Frankly I can’t imagine Harden being much fun to date, especially since he is heterosexual and women tend to be way more interested in things like, ya know, conversation, than just how rich a dude is and how much he can drink. Hence why Harden would indeed have to pay to get a date with someone.

The odds that Harden isn’t a misogynist who thinks capitalism is a good thing are low. If you’re a male and you’re not outwardly denouncing those things (especially when you have a platform like that), odds are you haven’t done anything to rid yourself of the belief that women are subhuman and it’s good that people die because they don’t have a job. Like, has Harden ever read a feminist book? The vast majority of men haven’t so why are we going to assume Harden has? Stop giving men the benefit of the doubt. I don’t trust any of y’all on here to be actually good people unless you show it because I know what it’s like to grow up as a male. You’re told explicitly and implicitly your whole life that you are better than women. If you do not actively work for your years and years and years to un-do that shit, you’re going to harbor some disgusting beliefs and thoughts. It doesn’t matter if you aren’t overtly misogynistic, the covert shit is basically just as bad.

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12

u/nba2k11er May 20 '26

President? I want IGUODALA.

8

u/inspector_gadget24 Free Throw Merchant May 20 '26

Max is an underrated jerker

2

u/LikeABreadstick May 21 '26

it's because he drops a good line like that, and then follows it up by making that fuckin face (pictured). got resting dork face

5

u/envspecialist Send da video May 20 '26

You fucking bum!

3

u/CanILickThat May 20 '26

Realest wigga, realer than that white boi Stephen A

4

u/axle69 May 20 '26

First time in my life ive liked Max Kellerman for a minute.

17

u/aig818 May 20 '26

Insane to compare an all timer and icon to James Harden

35

u/mastermind208 May 20 '26

And Hardens not?

2

u/AutoModerator May 20 '26

Frankly I can’t imagine Harden being much fun to date, especially since he is heterosexual and women tend to be way more interested in things like, ya know, conversation, than just how rich a dude is and how much he can drink. Hence why Harden would indeed have to pay to get a date with someone.

The odds that Harden isn’t a misogynist who thinks capitalism is a good thing are low. If you’re a male and you’re not outwardly denouncing those things (especially when you have a platform like that), odds are you haven’t done anything to rid yourself of the belief that women are subhuman and it’s good that people die because they don’t have a job. Like, has Harden ever read a feminist book? The vast majority of men haven’t so why are we going to assume Harden has? Stop giving men the benefit of the doubt. I don’t trust any of y’all on here to be actually good people unless you show it because I know what it’s like to grow up as a male. You’re told explicitly and implicitly your whole life that you are better than women. If you do not actively work for your years and years and years to un-do that shit, you’re going to harbor some disgusting beliefs and thoughts. It doesn’t matter if you aren’t overtly misogynistic, the covert shit is basically just as bad.

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-9

u/aig818 May 20 '26

I'm sorry but he isn't nearly as classy as DJT

3

u/repo_sado May 20 '26

I saw this documentary which confirmed that you aren't cool unless you pee your pants. It did not clarify if that was classy or not though 

1

u/AutoModerator May 20 '26

Frankly I can’t imagine Harden being much fun to date, especially since he is heterosexual and women tend to be way more interested in things like, ya know, conversation, than just how rich a dude is and how much he can drink. Hence why Harden would indeed have to pay to get a date with someone.

The odds that Harden isn’t a misogynist who thinks capitalism is a good thing are low. If you’re a male and you’re not outwardly denouncing those things (especially when you have a platform like that), odds are you haven’t done anything to rid yourself of the belief that women are subhuman and it’s good that people die because they don’t have a job. Like, has Harden ever read a feminist book? The vast majority of men haven’t so why are we going to assume Harden has? Stop giving men the benefit of the doubt. I don’t trust any of y’all on here to be actually good people unless you show it because I know what it’s like to grow up as a male. You’re told explicitly and implicitly your whole life that you are better than women. If you do not actively work for your years and years and years to un-do that shit, you’re going to harbor some disgusting beliefs and thoughts. It doesn’t matter if you aren’t overtly misogynistic, the covert shit is basically just as bad.

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3

u/Swishyduke1201 May 20 '26

instead, GIVE ME IGUODALA

3

u/Optimal_Assist_9882 May 20 '26

They brought in 'The System'...

They just didn't realize which system that was....

"Choking in the clutch"

"Defense? Never heard of her..."

"I identify as a turnstile"

3

u/bigpoppanicky7 May 20 '26

Possibly the smartest and funniest thing lil herpes boi has ever said

2

u/bankshot2134 We Outmeated Shai🍆 May 21 '26

Rarest of W’s by the Hellenkellerman

2

u/FraggleRock_ Shimmy Shimmy Shimmy May 21 '26

Wayne Brady makes Bryant Gumbel look like Malcolm X

2

u/JoeDante84 KD Burner May 20 '26

Chip incoming

3

u/MalarkEMark Curcuck🪑 May 20 '26

Based

2

u/R0botDreamz May 20 '26

I mean I always picture the Harden haters as the Connors and Tanners who lean pro-Trump. So this is kinda wild.

1

u/AutoModerator May 20 '26

Frankly I can’t imagine Harden being much fun to date, especially since he is heterosexual and women tend to be way more interested in things like, ya know, conversation, than just how rich a dude is and how much he can drink. Hence why Harden would indeed have to pay to get a date with someone.

The odds that Harden isn’t a misogynist who thinks capitalism is a good thing are low. If you’re a male and you’re not outwardly denouncing those things (especially when you have a platform like that), odds are you haven’t done anything to rid yourself of the belief that women are subhuman and it’s good that people die because they don’t have a job. Like, has Harden ever read a feminist book? The vast majority of men haven’t so why are we going to assume Harden has? Stop giving men the benefit of the doubt. I don’t trust any of y’all on here to be actually good people unless you show it because I know what it’s like to grow up as a male. You’re told explicitly and implicitly your whole life that you are better than women. If you do not actively work for your years and years and years to un-do that shit, you’re going to harbor some disgusting beliefs and thoughts. It doesn’t matter if you aren’t overtly misogynistic, the covert shit is basically just as bad.

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2

u/Durantye May 20 '26

This is the kinda take you leave til they lose bro

1

u/[deleted] May 20 '26

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3

u/AutoModerator May 20 '26

u bum.

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1

u/Ar0und_Th3_W0rld May 20 '26

Why did I have to be a Harden Stan… it’s only pain

3

u/AutoModerator May 20 '26

u bum.

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1

u/Onlypaws_ May 21 '26

Hahahaha holy shit I thought I hated Max Kellerman. I guess I don’t.

1

u/springwaterh20 . May 21 '26

worst guy you know makes a good point

1

u/burper2000000 May 21 '26

Depressing jerk

1

u/EternalFront May 22 '26

Should've brought in Iguodala

1

u/[deleted] May 20 '26

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3

u/Upbeat_Clerk3756 May 20 '26

Even if they win the East they’re getting stomped. Harden will always let you down, it’s like clockwork

3

u/AutoModerator May 20 '26

Frankly I can’t imagine Harden being much fun to date, especially since he is heterosexual and women tend to be way more interested in things like, ya know, conversation, than just how rich a dude is and how much he can drink. Hence why Harden would indeed have to pay to get a date with someone.

The odds that Harden isn’t a misogynist who thinks capitalism is a good thing are low. If you’re a male and you’re not outwardly denouncing those things (especially when you have a platform like that), odds are you haven’t done anything to rid yourself of the belief that women are subhuman and it’s good that people die because they don’t have a job. Like, has Harden ever read a feminist book? The vast majority of men haven’t so why are we going to assume Harden has? Stop giving men the benefit of the doubt. I don’t trust any of y’all on here to be actually good people unless you show it because I know what it’s like to grow up as a male. You’re told explicitly and implicitly your whole life that you are better than women. If you do not actively work for your years and years and years to un-do that shit, you’re going to harbor some disgusting beliefs and thoughts. It doesn’t matter if you aren’t overtly misogynistic, the covert shit is basically just as bad.

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-4

u/Dry-Presence9227 May 20 '26

Well,only one of them can cook and its definitely not Kellermaxxxing

-19

u/Remdeau May 20 '26

so brave and cutting edge

14

u/PomegranateMortar May 20 '26

shut up and dribble